Godparents: who can become a godparent? What do godmothers and godfathers need to know? How many godchildren can you have? The answers are in the article!

Briefly:

• The godfather, or godfather, must be Orthodox Christian. A godfather cannot be a Catholic, a Muslim, or a very good atheist, because main responsibility godfather - to help the child grow into Orthodox faith.
• There must be a godfather church man , ready to regularly take his godson to church and monitor his Christian upbringing.
• After baptism has been performed, godfather cannot be changed, but if the godfather has changed greatly for the worse, the godson and his family should pray for him.
• Pregnant and unmarried women CAN to be godparents of both boys and girls - do not listen to superstitious fears!
• Godparents the child's father and mother cannot be, and husband and wife cannot be godparents of the same child. other relatives - grandmothers, aunts and even older brothers and sisters can be godparents.

Many of us were baptized in infancy and no longer remember how it happened. And then one day we are invited to become a godmother or godfather, or perhaps even more joyfully - our own child is born. Then we think once again about what the Sacrament of Baptism is, whether we can become godparents to someone and how we can choose godparents for our child.

Answers from Rev. Maxim Kozlov on questions about the responsibilities of godparents from the “Tatiana’s Day” website.

– I was invited to become godfather. What will I have to do?

– Being a godfather is both an honor and responsibility.

Godmothers and fathers, participating in the Sacrament, take responsibility for the little member of the Church, so they must be Orthodox people. Godparents, of course, should be a person who also has some experience of church life and will help the parents raise the baby in faith, piety and purity.

During the celebration of the Sacrament over the baby, the godfather (of the same gender as the child) will hold him in his arms, pronounce on his behalf the Creed and vows of renunciation of Satan and union with Christ. Read more about the procedure for performing Baptism.

The main thing in which the godfather can and should help and in which he undertakes an obligation is not only to be present at Baptism, but also then to help the one received from the font to grow, strengthen in church life, and in no case limit your Christianity only to the fact of Baptism. According to the teachings of the Church, for the way we took care of fulfilling these duties, we will be held accountable on the day of the last judgment, just as for the upbringing of our own children. Therefore, of course, the responsibility is very, very great.

– What should I give to my godson?

– Of course, you can give your godson a cross and a chain, and it doesn’t matter what they are made of; the main thing is that the cross be of the traditional form accepted in the Orthodox Church.

In the old days, there was a traditional church gift for christening - a silver spoon, which was called a “tooth gift”; it was the first spoon that was used when feeding a child, when he began to eat from a spoon.

– How can I choose godparents for my child?

– Firstly, godparents must be baptized, church-going Orthodox Christians.

The main thing is that the criterion for your choice of godfather or godmother is whether this person will subsequently be able to help you in a good, Christian upbringing received from the font, and not just in practical circumstances. And, of course, an important criterion should be the degree of our acquaintance and simply the friendliness of our relationship. Think about whether the godparents you choose will be the child’s church teachers or not.

– Is it possible for a person to have only one godparent?

- Yes it is possible. It is only important that the godparent be of the same gender as the godson.

– If one of the godparents cannot be present at the Sacrament of Baptism, is it possible to carry out the ceremony without him, but register him as a godparent?

– Until 1917, there was a practice of absentee godparents, but it was applied only to persons imperial family when they, as a sign of royal or grand-ducal favor, agreed to be considered godparents or another baby. If we're talking about about a similar situation, do so, and if not, then perhaps it is better to proceed from generally accepted practice.

– Who can’t be a godfather?

- Of course, non-Christians - atheists, Muslims, Jews, Buddhists, and so on - cannot be godparents, no matter how close friends the child’s parents are and no matter how pleasant people they are to talk to.

An exceptional situation - if there are no close people close to Orthodoxy, and you are confident in the good morals of a non-Orthodox Christian - then the practice of our Church allows one of the godparents to be a representative of another Christian denomination: Catholic or Protestant.

According to the wise tradition of the Russian Orthodox Church, a husband and wife cannot be godparents of the same child. Therefore, it is worth considering if you and the person with whom you want to start a family are invited to become adoptive parents.

– Which relative can be godfather?

– An aunt or uncle, grandmother or grandfather can become the adoptive parents of their little relatives. You just need to remember that a husband and wife cannot be godparents of one child. However, it’s worth thinking about this: our close relatives will still take care of the child and help us raise him. In this case, aren’t we depriving little man love and care, because he could have one or two more adult Orthodox friends to whom he could turn throughout his life. This is especially important during the period when the child seeks authority outside the family. At this time, the godfather, without in any way opposing himself to the parents, could become the person whom the teenager trusts, from whom he asks for advice even about what he does not dare to tell his loved ones.

- Is it possible to refuse? godparents? Or baptize a child for the purpose of normal upbringing in the faith?

– In any case, a child cannot be re-baptized, because the Sacrament of Baptism is performed once, and no sins of either godparents, or his natural parents, or even the person himself can cancel all those grace-filled gifts that are given to a person in the Sacrament of Baptism.

As for communication with godparents, then, of course, betrayal of faith, that is, falling away into one or another heterodox confession - Catholicism, Protestantism, especially falling into one or another non-Christian religion, atheism, a blatantly ungodly way of life - essentially speaks of that the person failed to fulfill his responsibility as a godfather. The spiritual union, concluded in this sense in the Sacrament of Baptism, can be considered dissolved by the godmother or godfather, and you can ask another church-going pious person to take a blessing from his confessor to provide care godfather or godmother about this or that child.

“I was invited to be the girl’s godmother, but everyone tells me that the boy must be baptized first.” Is it so?

– The superstitious idea that a girl should have a boy as her first godson and that a baby girl taken from the font will become an obstacle to her subsequent marriage has no Christian roots and is an absolute fabrication that an Orthodox Christian woman should not be guided by.

– They say that one of the godparents must be married and have children. Is it so?

– On the one hand, the opinion that one of the godparents must be married and have children is a superstition, just like the idea that a girl who received a girl from the font will either not get married herself, or this will affect her fate some kind of imprint.

On the other hand, one can see a certain kind of sobriety in this opinion, if one does not approach it with a superstitious interpretation. Of course, it would be reasonable if people (or at least one of the godparents) who have sufficient life experience who themselves already have the skill of raising children in faith and piety, who have something to share with the physical parents of the baby. And it would be highly desirable to look for such a godfather.

– Can a pregnant woman be a godmother?

– Church statutes do not prevent a pregnant woman from being a godmother. The only thing I urge you to think about is whether you have the strength and determination to share the love for your own child with the love for the adopted baby, whether you will have time to care for him, to advise the baby’s parents, to sometimes pray warmly for him , bring to the temple, somehow be a good older friend. If you are more or less confident in yourself and circumstances allow, then nothing prevents you from becoming a godmother, but in all other cases, it may be better to measure seven times before cutting once.

About godparents

Natalia Sukhinina

“I recently got into a conversation with a woman on the train, or rather, we even got into an argument. She argued that godparents, like father and mother, are obliged to raise their godson. But I don’t agree: a mother is a mother, whoever she allows to interfere in the child’s upbringing. I also once had a godson when I was young, but our paths diverged long ago, I don’t know where he lives now. And she, this woman, says that now I will have to answer for him. Responsible for someone else's child? I can’t believe it..."

(From a letter from a reader)

It so happened, and my life paths veered in a completely different direction from my godparents. Where they are now, how they live, and whether they are alive at all, I don’t know. I couldn’t even remember their names; I was baptized a long time ago, in infancy. I asked my parents, but they themselves don’t remember, they shrugged their shoulders, they said that people lived next door at that time, and they were invited to be godparents.

Where are they now, what are their names, do you remember?

To be honest, for me this circumstance was never a flaw, I grew up and grew up without godparents. No, I was lying, it happened once, I was jealous. A school friend was getting married and received a gossamer-thin gold chain as a wedding gift. The godmother gave it to us, she boasted, who could not even dream of such chains. That's when I became jealous. If I had a godmother, maybe I would...
Now, of course, having lived and thought about it, I am very sorry about my random “father and mother”, who are not even in my mind, that I remember them now in these lines. I remember without reproach, with regret. And, of course, in a dispute between my reader and a fellow traveler on the train, I am completely on the side of the fellow traveler. She's right. We must answer for the godsons and goddaughters who have fled from their parents’ nests, because they are not random people in our lives, but our children, spiritual children, godparents.

Who doesn't know this picture?

Dressed up people stand aside in the temple. The center of attention is a baby in lush lace, they pass him from hand to hand, go out with him, distract him so that he does not cry. They are waiting for the christening. They look at their watches and get nervous.

Godmothers and fathers can be recognized immediately. They are somehow especially focused and important. They are in a hurry to get their wallet to pay for the upcoming christening, give some orders, rustle with bags of baptismal robes and fresh diapers. The little man does not understand anything, gawking at the wall frescoes, at the lights of the chandelier, at the “persons accompanying him,” among which the godfather’s face is one of many. But when the priest invites you, it’s time. They fussed, became agitated, the godparents tried their best to maintain importance - but it didn’t work, because for them, as well as for their godson, today’s exit to God's temple- a significant event.
“When was the last time you were in church?” the priest will ask. They will shrug their shoulders in embarrassment. He may not ask, of course. But even if he doesn’t ask, you can still easily determine from the awkwardness and tension that the godparents are not church people, and only the event in which they were invited to participate brought them under the arches of the church. Father will ask questions:

- Do you wear a cross?

- Do you read prayers?

– Are you reading the Gospel?

– Do you honor church holidays?

And the godparents will begin to mutter something incomprehensible and lower their eyes guiltily. The priest will certainly reassure you and remind you of the duty of godfathers and mothers, and of Christian duty in general. The godparents will hastily and willingly nod their heads, humbly accept the conviction of sin, and either from excitement, or from embarrassment, or from the seriousness of the moment, few will remember and let into the heart the main thought of the priest: we are all responsible for our godchildren, and now and forever. And whoever remembers will most likely misunderstand. And from time to time, mindful of his duty, he will begin to contribute what he can to the well-being of his godson.

The first deposit immediately after baptism: an envelope with a crisp, solid bill - enough for a tooth. Then, for birthdays, as the child grows older, a luxurious set of children's trousseau, an expensive toy, a fashionable backpack, a bicycle, a branded suit, and so on up to a gold chain, to the envy of the poor, for a wedding.

We know very little. And it’s not just a problem, but something that we don’t really want to know. After all, if they wanted to, then before going to the temple as a godfather, they would have looked there the day before and asked the priest what this step “threatens” us, how best to prepare for it.
Godfather is a godfather in Slavic. Why? After immersion in the font, the priest transfers the baby from his own hands to the hands of the godfather. And he accepts, takes it into his own hands. The meaning of this action is very deep. By acceptance, the godfather takes upon himself the honorable, and most importantly, responsible mission of leading the godson along the path of ascension to the Heavenly inheritance. That's where! After all, baptism is the spiritual birth of a person. Remember in the Gospel of John: “Whoever is not born of water and the Spirit cannot enter the kingdom of God.”

The Church calls its recipients with serious words – “guardians of faith and piety”. But in order to store, you need to know. Therefore only a believer Orthodox man may be the godfather, and not the one who went to church for the first time with the baby being baptized. Godparents must know at least the basic prayers “Our Father”, “Virgin Mother of God”, “May God rise again...”, they must know the “Creed”, read the Gospel, the Psalter. And, of course, wear a cross, be able to be baptized.
One priest told me: they came to baptize a child, but the godfather did not have a cross. Father to him: put on the cross, but he can’t, he’s unbaptized. Just a joke, but the absolute truth.

Faith and repentance are the two main conditions for union with God. But faith and repentance cannot be demanded from a baby in lace, so the godparents are called upon, having faith and repentance, to pass them on and teach them to their successors. That is why they pronounce, instead of babies, the words of the “Creed” and the words of renunciation of Satan.

– Do you deny Satan and all his works? - asks the priest.

“I deny,” the receiver answers instead of the baby.

The priest is wearing a light festive robe as a sign of the beginning of a new life, and therefore of spiritual purity. He walks around the font, censes it, and everyone standing next to the lit candles. Candles are burning in the hands of the recipients. Very soon, the priest will lower the baby into the font three times and, wet, wrinkled, not at all understanding where he is and why, the servant of God, will hand him over to the hands of his godparents. And he will be dressed in white robes. At this time, a very beautiful troparion is sung: “Give me a robe of light, dress in light, like a robe...” Accept your child, successors. From now on, your life will be filled with special meaning, you have taken upon yourself the feat of spiritual parenthood, and for how you carry it, you will now have to answer before God.

At the First Ecumenical Council, a rule was adopted according to which women become successors for girls, men for boys. Simply put, for a girl you only need godmother, the boy has only a godfather. But life, as often happens, made its own adjustments here too. According to ancient Russian tradition, both are invited. Of course, you can’t spoil the porridge with oil. But even here you need to know very specific rules. For example, a husband and wife cannot be godparents to one child, just as a child’s parents cannot be his godparents at the same time. Godparents cannot marry their godchildren.

... The baby's baptism is behind us. Ahead of him big life, in which we are given a place equal to the father and mother who gave birth to him. Our work lies ahead, our constant desire to prepare our godson to ascend to spiritual heights. Where to begin? Yes, from the very beginning. At first, especially if the child is the first, parents are knocked off their feet by the worries that have fallen on them. They, as they say, don’t care about anything. Now is the time to give them a helping hand.

Carry the baby to Communion, make sure that icons hang over his cradle, give notes for him in church, order prayer services, constantly, like your own natural children, remember them in home prayers. Of course, there is no need to do this in an edifying manner, saying that you are mired in vanity, but I am all spiritual - I think about high things, I strive for high things, I take care of your child, so what would you do without me... In general spiritual education a baby is possible only if the godfather is his own person in the house, welcome, tactful. Of course, you don’t need to shift all your worries onto yourself. The responsibilities of spiritual education are not removed from parents, but to help, support, replace somewhere, if necessary, this is mandatory, without this you cannot justify yourself before the Lord.

This is truly a difficult cross to bear. And, probably, you need to think carefully before placing it on yourself. Will I be able to? Do I have enough health, patience, and spiritual experience to become a recipient of a person entering life? And parents should take a good look at relatives and friends - candidates for the honorary post. Which of them will be able to become a truly kind assistant in education, who will be able to bestow your child with true Christian gifts - prayer, the ability to forgive, the ability to love God. And plush bunnies the size of elephants may be nice, but they are not at all necessary.

If there is trouble in the house, there are different criteria. How many unfortunate, restless children suffer from drunken fathers and unlucky mothers. And how many simply unfriendly, embittered people live under one roof and make children suffer cruelly. Such stories are as old as time and banal. But if this plot includes a man who stood with a lit candle in front of baptismal font, if he, this man, rushes towards his godson as if on an embrasure, he can move mountains. Possible good is also good. We are not able to discourage a foolish man from drinking half a liter, to reason with a lost daughter, or to sing “put up, put up, put up” to two frowning halves. But we have the power to take a little boy who is tired of affection to our dacha for a day, to enroll him in Sunday school and take the trouble to take him there, and - pray. The feat of prayer is at the forefront of the godparents of all times and peoples.

The priests well understand the severity of the feat of their successors and do not give their blessing to recruit a lot of children for their children, good and different.

But I know a man who has more than fifty godchildren. These boys and girls are right from there, from childhood loneliness, childhood sadness. From a big childhood misfortune.

This man’s name is Alexander Gennadievich Petrynin, he lives in Khabarovsk, directs the Children’s Rehabilitation Center, or more simply, an orphanage. As a director, he does a lot, gets funds for classroom equipment, selects personnel from conscientious, unselfish people, rescues his charges from the police, collects them in basements.

Like a godfather, he takes them to church, talks about God, prepares them for Communion, and prays. He prays a lot, a lot. In Optina Pustyn, in the Trinity-Sergius Lavra, in Diveyevo Monastery, in dozens of churches throughout Russia, long notes written by him about the health of numerous godsons are read. He gets very tired, this man, sometimes he almost falls from fatigue. But he has no other choice, he is a godfather, and his godchildren are a special people. His heart is a rare heart, and the priest, understanding this, blesses him for such asceticism. A teacher from God, those who know him in action say about him. Godfather from God - can you say so? No, probably all godparents are from God, but he knows how to suffer like a godfather, knows how to love like a godfather, and knows how to save. Like a godfather.

For us, whose godchildren, like the children of Lieutenant Schmidt, are scattered throughout cities and towns, his service to children is an example of true Christian service. I think that many of us will not reach its heights, but if we are to make life from anyone, then it will be from those who understand their title of “successor” as a serious and not an accidental matter in life.
You can, of course, say: I am a weak person, a busy person, not much of a church member, and the best thing I can do in order not to sin is to refuse the offer to be a godfather altogether. It’s more honest and simpler, right? Easier - yes. But more honestly...
Few of us, especially when the time has come to stop and look back, can say to ourselves - I am a good father, good mother, I didn’t owe my own child anything. We owe everyone, and the godless time in which our requests, our projects, our passions grew, is the result of our debts to each other. We won't give them back anymore. The children have grown up and are doing without our truths and our discoveries of America. The parents have grown old. But conscience, the voice of God, itches and itches.

Conscience requires an outburst, and not in words, but in deeds. Couldn't bearing the responsibilities of the cross be such a thing?
It’s a pity that there are few examples of the feat of the cross among us. The word "godfather" has almost disappeared from our vocabulary. And the recent wedding of my daughter was a great and unexpected gift for me. childhood friend. Or rather, not even a wedding, which in itself is a great joy, but a feast, the wedding itself. And that's why. We sat down, poured the wine, and waited for the toast. Everyone is somehow embarrassed, the bride’s parents let the groom’s parents go ahead with the speeches, and they do the opposite. And then the tall one stood up and handsome man. He stood up somehow very businesslike. He raised his glass:

– I want to say, as the godfather of the bride...

Everyone became quiet. Everyone listened to the words about how the young people should live long, in harmony, with many children, and most importantly, with the Lord.
“Thank you, godfather,” said the charming Yulka, and from under her luxurious foaming veil she gave her godfather a grateful look.

Thank you godfather, I thought too. Thank you for carrying love for your spiritual daughter from the baptismal candle to the wedding candle. Thank you for reminding us all of what we had completely forgotten about. But we have time to remember. How much - the Lord knows. Therefore, we must hurry.

Christening is a fateful event for every child and parents. This is the acquisition of spiritual peace, integrity of spirit, God's reliable protection of a person. In addition, the baby has second parents who are always ready to provide help and assistance. Especially valuable in later life duties of a godmother.

Godmother

Before agreeing to baptize a child, a woman must accept the great responsibility placed on her shoulders. It is important to understand what it means to be a godfather, and not to superficially follow the traditions of Orthodoxy. It is imperative to choose a suitable candidate with faith in your heart and full responsibility. This could be a relative or friend, not necessarily married, but a believer and an exemplary one. If she is not baptized, it is important to be baptized before the fateful day for the baby and be sure to receive communion.

Responsibilities of a Godmother

You should not conduct an interview or casting for the role of second parents. You just need to draw a conclusion about the attitude of the applicants towards God, the people around them and all living things. If the baby’s mother thinks that godparents should only buy a cross and a kryzhma, and then participate in church sacrament, and this is where participation in the fate of a new person ends, then he is very mistaken. Spiritual education and child development - this is what you should be able to do godmother throughout life. In this case we are talking about the following responsibilities of godparents:

1. Be with the child all the time, help in difficult situations.
2. Teach prayers and simply talk about God, his role in the life of every person, and attend church together.
3. Every year, congratulate you on your birthday and give gifts on Angel’s Day.
4. Take communion regularly, involve your godson/goddaughter in the ritual.

How many times can you be a godfather?

Every Orthodox person can take part in this church rite, an unlimited number of times, if the child’s parents request it. A truthful and informed decision is welcome. Another important question that worries us before the sacrament is who can be godparents, according to church scripture? All believing relatives and friends can take on responsibilities, for example, an older brother, sister, girlfriend, friend, grandfather, grandmother, even stepfather. Cannot be godparents:

• non-believers;
• church ministers;
• people of other faiths;
• unbaptized;
• mentally unstable people;
• biological parents.

Baptism of a child - rules for the godmother

The baptismal towel and clothes are made or purchased by the future godmother, and this is an obligatory stage of preparation for the upcoming sacrament. In addition, a woman must first receive communion and confession; on the day of christening, she must have a cross on her chest. There are other rules for baptizing a child in Orthodox Church, which are important to include in the ritual.

Girl's christening - rules for the godmother

It is important for a girl to have a spiritual mother, since she is the first one, after the child’s mother and father, to be responsible for him. It is one thing to baptize a baby, and quite another to become a support, support, and spiritual mentor in life for a growing person. The responsibilities of the godmother at the baptism of a girl are as follows:

1. Before the sacrament begins, read the prayers for the child by heart, among them the “Creed.”
2. Dress modestly for christenings long dress, tie a scarf around your head.
3. Take your goddaughter in your arms after immersion in the font, dress her in clothes white.
4. Hold your goddaughter in your arms while passing around the font behind the priests, while reading prayers, and the procession of anointing.

Boy's christening - rules for godmother

During the christening of a boy, an important role is played not only by the godmother, but also by the father, who in the future will provide him with spiritual support in everything. The main responsibilities of a godmother during a boy’s baptism are identical to those during church rite girls. The only difference is the following: after immersion in the font, the baby is picked up by the godfather; The priest also carries baptized boys behind the altar.

Prayer for the baptism of a child for godparents

During the procession, the priest leaves a reminder of what the godparents should do: say out loud three times the prayer “Creed”, “Our Father”, “Hail to the Virgin Mary”, “Heavenly King”, answer honestly several traditional questions about faith. Each prayer for godparents at baptism gives a powerful energy charge and helps the child receive grace.

What do you give a girl at christening?

What should the godmother do after the completion of the sacrament? Buy and present your godson or goddaughter with a memorable gift. This is where the problem arises with choosing a suitable present. So what does the godmother give to a girl’s christening?

• silver or gold cross;
• icon of God;
• personalized icon Guardian Angel;
• silver spoon.

What does the godmother buy for a boy's christening?

For future men, there are also certain requirements for gifts. This one needs to know what is needed for a boy’s christening, so as not to be taken by surprise during the sacrament. Here's what a second mom should do:

• buy a white vest, blanket, towel;
• present a Bible, a personal icon as a gift;
• make another memorable present.

What should a godmother do?

If a woman has her own children, nephews, younger brothers and sisters, she should not forget about her own godchildren. There are a number of beliefs and signs about why godparents are needed. This is what a godmother must do last day life:

1. Pray for your godson every day, ask God for a bright path for him.
2. Attend church with him, take communion, confess.
3. Participate in spiritual formation, growth and development.
4. Become a role model in his mind.
5. Take full responsibility for the baby if the blood parents die.

Video: what godparents need to know before baptism

“I recently got into a conversation with a woman on the train, or rather, we even got into an argument. She argued that godparents, like father and mother, are obliged to raise their godson. But I don’t agree: a mother is a mother, whoever she allows to interfere in the child’s upbringing. I also once had a godson when I was young, but our paths diverged long ago, I don’t know where he lives now. And she, this woman, says that now I will have to answer for him. Responsible for someone else's child? I can’t believe it..."

(From a letter from a reader)

It so happened, and my life paths veered in a completely different direction from my godparents. Where they are now, how they live, and whether they are alive at all, I don’t know. I couldn’t even remember their names; I was baptized a long time ago, in infancy. I asked my parents, but they themselves don’t remember, they shrugged their shoulders, they said that people lived next door at that time, and they were invited to be godparents. Where are they now, what are their names, do you remember? To be honest, for me this circumstance was never a flaw, I grew up and grew up without godparents. No, I was lying, it happened once, I was jealous. A school friend was getting married and received a gossamer-thin gold chain as a wedding gift. The godmother gave it to us, she boasted, who could not even dream of such chains. That's when I became jealous. If I had a godmother, maybe I would...
Now, of course, having lived and thought about it, I am very sorry about my random “father and mother”, who are not even in my mind, that I remember them now in these lines. I remember without reproach, with regret. And, of course, in a dispute between my reader and a fellow traveler on the train, I am completely on the side of the fellow traveler. She's right. We must answer for the godsons and goddaughters who have fled from their parents’ nests, because they are not random people in our lives, but our children, spiritual children, godparents.
Who doesn't know this picture? Dressed up people stand aside in the temple. The center of attention is a baby in lush lace, they pass him from hand to hand, go out with him, distract him so that he does not cry. They are waiting for the christening. They look at their watches and get nervous. Godmothers and fathers can be recognized immediately. They are somehow especially focused and important. They are in a hurry to get their wallet to pay for the upcoming christening, give some orders, rustle with bags of baptismal robes and fresh diapers. The little man does not understand anything, gawking at the wall frescoes, at the lights of the chandelier, at the “persons accompanying him,” among which the face of the godfather is one of many. But when the priest invites you, it’s time. They fussed, became agitated, the godparents tried their best to maintain importance, but it didn’t work, because for them, as well as for their godson, today’s entrance into God’s temple is a significant event.
“When was the last time you were in church?” the priest will ask. They will shrug their shoulders in embarrassment. He may not ask, of course. But even if he doesn’t ask, you can still easily determine from the awkwardness and tension that the godparents are not church people, and only the event in which they were invited to participate brought them under the arches of the church. Father will ask questions:
- Do you wear a cross?
- Do you read prayers?
– Are you reading the Gospel?
– Do you honor church holidays?
And the godparents will begin to mutter something incomprehensible and lower their eyes guiltily. The priest will certainly reassure you and remind you of the duty of godfathers and mothers, and of Christian duty in general. The godparents will hastily and willingly nod their heads, humbly accept the conviction of sin, and either from excitement, or from embarrassment, or from the seriousness of the moment, few will remember and let into the heart the main thought of the priest: we are all responsible for our godchildren, and now and forever. And whoever remembers will most likely misunderstand. And from time to time, mindful of his duty, he will begin to contribute what he can to the well-being of his godson. The first deposit immediately after baptism: an envelope with a crisp, solid bill - enough for a tooth. Then, for birthdays, as the child grows older, a luxurious set of children's trousseau, an expensive toy, a fashionable backpack, a bicycle, a branded suit, and so on up to a gold chain, to the envy of the poor, for a wedding.
We know very little. And it’s not just a problem, but something that we don’t really want to know. After all, if they wanted to, then before going to the temple as a godfather, they would have looked there the day before and asked the priest what this step “threatens” us, how best to prepare for it.
Godfather is a godfather in Slavic. Why? After immersion in the font, the priest transfers the baby from his own hands to the hands of the godfather. And he accepts, takes it into his own hands. The meaning of this action is very deep. By acceptance, the godfather takes upon himself the honorable, and most importantly, responsible mission of leading the godson along the path of ascension to the Heavenly inheritance. That's where! After all, baptism is the spiritual birth of a person. Remember in the Gospel of John: “Whoever is not born of water and the Spirit cannot enter the kingdom of God.”
The Church calls its recipients with serious words – “guardians of faith and piety”. But in order to store, you need to know. Therefore, only a believing Orthodox person can be a godfather, and not the one who went to church for the first time with the baby being baptized. Godparents must know at least the basic prayers “Our Father”, “Virgin Mother of God”, “May God rise again...”, they must know the “Creed”, read the Gospel, the Psalter. And, of course, wear a cross, be able to be baptized.
One priest told me: they came to baptize a child, but the godfather did not have a cross. Father to him: put on the cross, but he can’t, he’s unbaptized. Just a joke, but the absolute truth.
Faith and repentance are the two main conditions for union with God. But faith and repentance cannot be demanded from a baby in lace, so the godparents are called upon, having faith and repentance, to pass them on and teach them to their successors. That is why they pronounce, instead of babies, both the words of the “Creed” and the words of renunciation of Satan.
– Do you deny Satan and all his works? - asks the priest.
“I deny,” the receiver answers instead of the baby.
The priest is wearing a light festive robe as a sign of the beginning of a new life, and therefore of spiritual purity. He walks around the font, censes it, and everyone standing next to the lit candles. Candles are burning in the hands of the recipients. Very soon, the priest will lower the baby into the font three times and, wet, wrinkled, not at all understanding where he is and why, the servant of God, will hand him over to the hands of his godparents. And he will be dressed in white robes. At this time, a very beautiful troparion is sung: “Give me a robe of light; dress in light, like a robe...” Accept your child, successors. From now on, your life will be filled with special meaning, you have taken upon yourself the feat of spiritual parenthood, and for how you carry it, you will now have to answer before God.
At the First Ecumenical Council, a rule was adopted according to which women become successors for girls, men for boys. Simply put, a girl needs only a godmother, a boy only a godfather. But life, as often happens, made its own adjustments here too. According to ancient Russian tradition, both are invited. Of course, you can’t spoil the porridge with oil. But even here you need to know very specific rules. For example, a husband and wife cannot be godparents to one child, just as a child’s parents cannot be his godparents at the same time. Godparents cannot marry their godchildren.
... The baby's baptism is behind us. He has a big life ahead of him, in which we have a place equal to the father and mother who gave birth to him. Our work lies ahead, our constant desire to prepare our godson to ascend to spiritual heights. Where to begin? Yes, from the very beginning. At first, especially if the child is the first, parents are knocked off their feet by the worries that have fallen on them. They, as they say, don’t care about anything. Now is the time to give them a helping hand. Carry the baby to Communion, make sure that icons hang over his cradle, give notes for him in church, order prayer services, constantly, like your own natural children, remember them in home prayers. Of course, there is no need to do this edifyingly, they say, you are mired in vanity, but I am all spiritual - I think about high things, I strive for high things, I take care of your child so that you can do without me... In general, the spiritual education of a child is only possible in case if the godfather is his own person in the house, welcome, tactful. Of course, you don’t need to shift all your worries onto yourself. The responsibilities of spiritual education are not removed from parents, but to help, support, replace somewhere, if necessary, this is mandatory, without this you cannot justify yourself before the Lord.
This is truly a difficult cross to bear. And, probably, you need to think carefully before placing it on yourself. Will I be able to? Do I have enough health, patience, and spiritual experience to become a recipient of a person entering life? And parents should take a good look at relatives and friends - candidates for the honorary post. Which of them will be able to become a truly kind assistant in education, who will be able to bestow your child with true Christian gifts - prayer, the ability to forgive, the ability to love God. And plush bunnies the size of elephants may be nice, but they are not at all necessary.
If there is trouble in the house, there are different criteria. How many unfortunate, restless children suffer from drunken fathers and unlucky mothers. And how many simply unfriendly, embittered people live under one roof and make children suffer cruelly. Such stories are as old as time and banal. But if a person who stood with a lit candle in front of the Epiphany font fits into this plot, if he, this person, rushes, as if into an embrasure, towards his godson, he can move mountains. Possible good is also good. We are not able to discourage a foolish man from drinking half a liter, to reason with a lost daughter, or to sing “put up, put up, put up” to two frowning halves. But we have the power to take a boy who is tired of affection to our dacha for a day, enroll him in Sunday school and take the trouble to take him there and pray. The feat of prayer is at the forefront of the godparents of all times and peoples.
The priests well understand the severity of the feat of their successors and do not give their blessing to recruit a lot of children for their children, good and different. But I know a man who has more than fifty godchildren. These boys and girls are right from there, from childhood loneliness, childhood sadness. From a big childhood misfortune. This man’s name is Alexander Gennadievich Petrynin, he lives in Khabarovsk, directs the Children’s Rehabilitation Center, or more simply, an orphanage. As a director, he does a lot, gets funds for classroom equipment, selects personnel from conscientious, unselfish people, rescues his charges from the police, collects them in basements. Like a godfather, he takes them to church, talks about God, prepares them for Communion, and prays. He prays a lot, a lot. In Optina Pustyn, in the Trinity-Sergius Lavra, in the Diveyevo Monastery, in dozens of churches throughout Russia, long notes written by him about the health of numerous godchildren are read. He gets very tired, this man, sometimes he almost falls from fatigue. But he has no other choice, he is a godfather, and his godchildren are a special people. His heart is a rare heart, and the priest, understanding this, blesses him for such asceticism. A teacher from God, those who know him in action say about him. Godfather from God - can you say so? No, probably all godparents are from God, but he knows how to suffer like a godfather, knows how to love like a godfather, and knows how to save. Like a godfather. For us, whose godchildren, like the children of Lieutenant Schmidt, are scattered throughout cities and towns, his service to children is an example of true Christian service. I think that many of us will not reach its heights, but if we are to make life from anyone, then it will be from those who understand their title of “successor” as a serious, and not an accidental matter in life.
You can, of course, say: I am a weak person, a busy person, not much of a church member, and the best thing I can do in order not to sin is to refuse the offer to be a godfather altogether. It’s more honest and simpler, right? Easier - yes. But more honestly...
Few of us, especially when the time has imperceptibly approached to stop and look back, can say to ourselves - I am a good father, a good mother, I do not owe anything to my own child. We owe everyone, and the godless time in which our requests, our projects, our passions grew, is the result of our debts to each other. We won't give them back anymore. The children have grown up and are doing without our truths and our discoveries of America. The parents have grown old. But conscience, the voice of God, itches and itches. Conscience requires an outburst, and not in words, but in deeds. Couldn't bearing the responsibilities of the cross be such a thing?
It’s a pity that there are few examples of the feat of the cross among us. The word “godfather” has almost disappeared from our vocabulary. And the recent wedding of my childhood friend’s daughter was a big and unexpected gift for me. Or rather, not even a wedding, which in itself is a great joy, but a feast, the wedding itself. And that's why. We sat down, poured the wine, and waited for the toast. Everyone is somehow embarrassed, the bride’s parents let the groom’s parents go ahead with the speeches, and they do the opposite. And then a tall and handsome man stood up. He stood up somehow very businesslike. He raised his glass:
– I want to say, as the godfather of the bride...
Everyone became quiet. Everyone listened to the words about how the young people should live long, in harmony, with many children, and most importantly, with the Lord.
“Thank you, godfather,” said the charming Yulka, and from under her luxurious foaming veil she gave her godfather a grateful look.
Thank you godfather, I thought too. Thank you for carrying love for your spiritual daughter from the baptismal candle to the wedding candle. Thank you for reminding us all of what we had completely forgotten about. But we have time to remember. How much - the Lord knows. Therefore, we must hurry.

As a rule, in the eyes of the godson, the godfather or godmother is a special person. Many times I have heard with what love and tenderness people pronounce the word “godfather”, as if they were touching something hidden in their lives. The recipients themselves are most often proud of this “status”. But do we really know how to live up to the title of godparents, do we have an idea of ​​the obligations that we have undertaken? And in general, what does it mean to be a godfather?

After reading specialized literature, you can at least general outline find out what responsibilities godparents have that help them raise their godchildren in the Orthodox faith. But in the practical performance of these duties, questions still arise that require clarification. It is best in such cases to contact a priest. I asked the cleric of the Saratov church in honor of the icon to answer my questions Mother of God“Quench my sorrows” by Hieromonk Dorotheus (Baranov).

— The very first and main help of a godparent to his godson is, of course, prayer. What should this prayer be, what should we ask God for?

- If the godfather is a church person, then he does not need any special prayers, because he regularly prays for his neighbors on Divine Liturgy, submits notes on health so that the Church can collectively pray for them, remembers his godchildren on home prayer in the morning and in the evening. Thus, everything depends on the degree of churchgoing of the godfather. The intensity of the recipient’s church life is reflected in the life of his ward, even if they are separated by a long distance. After all, the spiritual relationship that arises in the Sacrament between the godfather and the baptized is as close as the relationship in the flesh.

— The godfather must take care to administer the Holy Mysteries to the godson as often as possible. What to do if parents prohibit it?

— The question is complex. Of course, spiritual responsibility lies with the godfather, but he shares this responsibility with his parents. In a material sense, the child is completely dependent on them, and this situation cannot be changed. It is necessary, of course, to exhort parents: not to persuade, but to convince. After all, reluctance to give communion to a child always has specific reasons. From the most banal - lack of time - to such a serious reason as lack of faith. If the matter really is a matter of unbelief, then for the godfather this is a field for unobtrusive preaching when communicating with parents. After all, one day they decided to baptize their baby, and this means that at least in the most rudimentary state, faith is present in their hearts.

Of course, everything is much simpler when the child’s parents themselves regularly attend services, pray at home, live church life, resort to the sacraments of the Church. Then their son or daughter organically perceives Christian traditions, the very concept of the existence of God.

— Giving books is very important. Especially if direct communication is limited. Nowadays there are many children's books that talk about Christian values ​​through some situations; There are wonderful children's prayer books, colorful and well illustrated. I would recommend linking book gifts to church holidays, with the memory of some especially revered saints, with name days, so that the child already enters the sacred life of the Church through the event. I understood that he receives gifts for Christmas not because January 7 has arrived, but because we want to do something nice for our loved ones on the Savior’s birthday. And, of course, it is no less important to instill a love of reading from childhood. We need to make it clear to the child that the main thing in a book is not the pictures - it exists to be read.

And we need to talk about God most in simple words. That He is everywhere, that He is the Creator. And most importantly, the child must feel that the person who tells him about God believes in Him. Finding an informal approach to a child’s heart is great art, great work. Of course, often even parents do not always succeed. In any case, the adult must be vigilant: if the child does not perceive what he is told, if his attention is scattered, he must translate his story into a form more accessible to his understanding. And if you managed to capture the child’s attention, contact has occurred, then you can begin to build a conversation on a more serious level. And if the godfather has the opportunity to make his contribution to mental and then spiritual education, thank God!

— What if time is lost and contact with the child is not found? In addition, it often happens that communication is completely lost and nothing is known about the fate of the godson. How can the recipient rehabilitate himself?

- Here, unfortunately, we will have to talk about the sad, because, most likely, nothing. If the godson has already become an adult, then at least let him know that he has a godfather and that you are ready to establish a relationship with him. When the godson is still small, you need to seek contact with the parents. They need to feel your readiness to come to the rescue at any moment. And let their godfather be just a good, reliable family friend. This is already a lot.

But if there is no contact at all, then, as we have already said, you just need to pray. These words “just pray” are often used in passing. Lack of faith in the power of prayer is one of the biggest problems of modern Christians. When a person has faith in the power of prayer, then he will be calm in his soul, realizing that he did everything possible in this situation, when even contact was lost. There will definitely be benefits from such prayer.

— So it turns out that prayer is, after all, the most important thing for the recipient, which cannot be deviated from under any circumstances?

- Undoubtedly. Often we pray for someone else more fervently than for ourselves, especially if he is in difficult circumstances. Anthony the Great saw that the whole world was entangled in a network of sin. And what can we, Christians, oppose to this? There are family and spiritual ties between us, and we must create our own “protection system,” which consists of prayer for each other.

...And praying for each other is an expression of our love. In the book “On the Responsibilities of a Godmother” by the Blago publishing house, I read that given the current shortage of love in the world, it is extremely important to make the godson feel that he is loved. This will give joy and light to a child’s soul. At the same time, you need to teach him to love himself. After all, as the Apostle John the Theologian said: He who does not love does not know God, because God is love (1 John 4:8). And my main task, as a godmother, is to do everything so that in the life of the little person whom the Church has entrusted to my care, his main meeting takes place - a meeting with God.

Having decided to christen their daughter, they spent a long time deciding on a godmother, and eventually offered this role to me. There are no godchildren, I don’t know what to do, so I turned to the priest from the church where the baptism was going to take place for advice. In the article I will share new knowledge and acquired experience, tell you why children need godparents, who they are and why they may not exist during the baptism of adults, what happens during the sacrament and what are the responsibilities of the godmother and father.

As a rule, children are baptized in early age when they do not understand not only the importance but the essence of the process. The sacrament of Baptism presupposes the spiritual birth of a person, the cleansing of his soul from sins, a symbol of repentance and faith. Since the last two moments cannot be expected from children, godparents are appointed at Baptism, responsible for the Orthodox upbringing of a child, instilling in him moral and spiritual standards and teaching him the basics of faith.

Choosing the godfather and mother of a baby or toddler must be done with all responsibility, but we’ll talk about that another time.

Is it necessary for an adult to have a godfather and a godmother?

The same clergyman shared the established practice: most often the baptism of an adult occurs without the presence of godparents, because the godmother and godfather are mandatory only needed by children. Adults being baptized can independently answer the confessor whether they accept Jesus as Savior, whether they wish to be baptized, or whether they promise their allegiance to the Lord. Naturally, having a mentor next to a newly converted Orthodox makes the path to faith easier and clearer, helps to quickly get comfortable in the church and master the rules, but this is not necessary.

What should a godmother and godfather do?

Agreeing to the role of godparents, many sincerely believe that the matter is limited to a couple of birthday gifts and New Year. Visiting a child, paying attention to him and giving gifts, of course, is wonderful, but the range of responsibilities is much wider. And, since we are talking about gifts, it is better that they have an Orthodox meaning (a children's Bible, for example).

From the point of view of the Church, godparents are charged with the following responsibilities:

• Prayer. Godparents should offer daily prayer for their godson or goddaughter, turning to the Lord with requests for health and well-being. As the child ages, it is necessary to teach prayers or address the Lord in one’s own words, and instill a desire to communicate with Him.
• Teaching morality. Since children do not listen to words, but repeat actions, one should instill in one’s godson or goddaughter, by one’s own positive example, love for all things that exist, kindness, mercy, cultivating Christian virtues.
• Teaching the basics of faith. The child must learn the basics of religion with the participation of his godparents. Not enough knowledge? Fill in the gaps. An important aspect is a visit Orthodox churches together with the child, communion.
• Give time to your godson (goddaughter). Young parents don’t always have enough time, so it’s okay if you take on some of the worries yourself.

The Sacrament of Baptism: how it all happens

As someone who has experience in this matter, I’ll tell you what to expect so that what happens is not a surprise to you.

Getting ready for the ceremony

Today, baptism is carried out in churches, with the exception of sick children, who are baptized at home or even in hospitals.

First, choose the temple in which the child will be baptized. Walk around the churches, contact the priest or novices to find out about the features of the procedure in each and decide on the date. So, for example, baptism can take place in the temple itself or in the baptismal chamber - a separate special room at the temple. The ceremony can be magnificent and pompous, or it can be modest and quiet.

Appearance of godparents

When that very day comes, every detail is important, including the appearance of the future godparents.

• Must wear pectoral crosses consecrated by the church.
• For those who are not too familiar with church traditions, I remind you that a woman should have a scarf or scarf on her head.
• You should wear a dress that covers your shoulders or a skirt that is longer than the knee. This rule does not apply to babies.
• You should not wear heels solely for practical reasons (the ritual lasts a long time, you will get tired).
• Women's lips should not be made up.
• Relatively appearance There are no clear rules for men, but you should understand where and why you are going, that is, shorts and a low-cut T-shirt will be inappropriate.

How it all happens

Before performing the ritual, the priest, walking around the room, says a prayer three times, after which he asks to turn his face to the west (considered the direction of the abode of the unclean).

When a girl or boy is baptized, the godparents are always close to the priest performing the ceremony. One of them is holding a child in his arms.

I have already talked about the questions that are asked three times to the person being baptized, but little children cannot answer them, and this burden falls on the shoulders of the godparents. After completing the question and answer portion, godparents should read the Creed, which briefly explains the basics of the faith.

The priest sanctifies the water and oil and anoints the person being baptized, as a symbol of acceptance into the ranks of Orthodox Christians. The baby or little girl receives a name and finds himself in the blessed water three times, from where his godparents receive him.

If the ritual is performed in the cold season or the temperature in the room does not allow the child to be completely exposed, prepare arms and legs for immersion.

Let's sum it up

The role of a child's godfather or mother is not fun, but a serious responsibility to the Lord, as you promise to bring your baby to Him. This is precisely the main task of godparents: to teach the basics of faith, instill love for God and teach them to be a real person, decent and spiritually rich.