Only the smell of Arabica and cognac, Only what was not there after... (c)

Quotes from "The Master and Margarita"

Yes, man is mortal, but that would not be so bad. The bad thing is that he is sometimes suddenly mortal, that's the trick! (Woland)

A brick will never fall on anyone’s head for no reason at all. (Woland)

It is easy and pleasant to speak the truth. (Yeshua Ha-Nozri)

People are like people. They love money, but this has always been the case... Humanity loves money, no matter what it is made of, whether leather, paper, bronze or gold. Well, frivolous... well, well... ordinary people... in general, they resemble the old ones... the housing issue only spoiled them... (Woland)

Congratulations, citizen, having lied! (Bassoon)

For mercy's sake... would I allow myself to pour vodka for the lady? This is pure alcohol! (cat Behemoth)

The most interesting thing about this lie is that it is a lie from the first to the last word. (Woland)

...never ask for anything! Never and nothing, and especially among those who are stronger than you. They will offer and give everything themselves! (Woland)

(Woland to Behemoth: Get out.) I haven’t drunk coffee yet, how can I leave? (cat Behemoth)

Manuscripts don't burn. (Woland)

It's nice to hear that you treat your cat so politely. For some reason, cats are usually called “you,” although not a single cat has ever drunk brotherhood with anyone. (cat Behemoth)

No document, no person. (Koroviev)

Beg them to leave me as a witch!.. I will not marry an engineer or a technician! (Natasha)

It's sometimes nice to linger on the festive midnight. (Woland)

...he wasn't verbose this time. The only thing he said was that among human vices, he considers cowardice to be one of the most important. (Aphranius, about Yeshua)

I don’t play pranks, I don’t hurt anyone, I fix the primus stove. (cat Behemoth)

Well, the one who loves must share the fate of the one he loves. (Woland)

There is only one freshness - the first, and it is also the last. And if the sturgeon is second freshness, then this means that it is rotten! (Woland)

In a white cloak with bloody lining, a shuffling cavalry gait, early morning On the fourteenth of the spring month of Nisan, the procurator of Judea, Pontius Pilate, entered the covered colonnade between the two wings of the palace of Herod the Great. (Author)

Everyone will be rewarded according to their faith. (Woland)

History will judge us. (cat Behemoth)

Housekeepers know everything - it is a mistake to think that they are blind. (cat Behemoth)

After all, you think how can you be dead (Azazello).

He didn't deserve light, he deserved peace (Levi).

I feel like someone is letting me go free (Master).

Why chase in the footsteps of what is already over? (Woland).

Love jumped out in front of us, like a killer jumps out of the ground in an alley, and struck us both at once! That's how lightning strikes, that's how a Finnish knife strikes! (Master)

For there is no loneliness greater than the memory of a miracle.

Joseph Brodsky

and of course

Yes, man is mortal, but that would not be so bad. The bad thing is that he is sometimes suddenly mortal, that's the trick!

Mikhail Bulgakov "The Master and Margarita"

Death is the only wise adviser we have. Whenever you feel, as you usually feel, that everything is going wrong and that you are about to disappear, turn to your death and ask it - is this so? Your death will tell you that you are wrong, that nothing but her touch really matters. Your death will tell you: "I have not touched you yet"

Carlos Castaneda

Do you think the worst thing is sudden death? No. But even meanwhile, Death can come suddenly - at this same moment to each of us.

A long, long time ago, for some reason, I was simply struck by the description of the death of Joseph Brodsky - it’s incomprehensible that he packed his briefcase like that - he had some work to do the next day, and at night - he took it and died. Although, of course, everyone knows that Joseph Brodsky smoked a lot, but at the same time.

“…. On Saturday evening, January 27, 1996, in New York, Brodsky was preparing to go to South Hadley and collected manuscripts and books in a briefcase to take with him the next day. The spring semester began on Monday. Wishing my wife Good night, Brodsky said that he still needed to work, and went up to his office. In the morning, his wife found him on the floor in the office. Brodsky was fully dressed. On the desk next to the glasses lay an open book - a bilingual edition of Greek epigrams. The heart, according to doctors, stopped suddenly - a heart attack, the poet died on the night of January 28, 1996...” For some reason

“….Brodsky, who suffered three heart attacks, was warned more than once that smoking was the most terrible enemy of his diseased heart. But he not only continued to smoke, but at the same time he smoked the strongest cigarettes, from which he also broke off the filter. They once told him: “Provided that you stop smoking, Joseph, you are guaranteed another ten years of life.” To which the poet replied: “Life is wonderful precisely because there are no guarantees, never any” (For me, there is nothing wonderful in this for me personally - it’s an excuse for my long-term smoking)

The sudden death of a person who just yesterday was busy with his own affairs - making plans for the future - is actually not such a rare thing.

But again, this is fascinating for the living - how is it - suddenly a person has run out of everything to do - I think the deceased no longer cares. At the same time, there are quite funny cases and instructive cases - for example, I remember the following: one famous businessman- I started from practically nothing - I finally achieved my goal. And that means he built a sports complex in the city park - for himself - tennis there and the like, a holiday home - a track for jogging, a swimming pool.

And after that - he died - the blood clot came off - the person didn’t drink, didn’t smoke - taking care of his health. (And he died - suddenly came home with friends - had dinner. He went to his place and died. He also probably packed his briefcase - or I planned things for the next day. But no, it didn’t work out. Also, as far as I remember, it was about 55 years old - no more.)

And now this complex stands as a monument to this businessman.

Moreover, if you look closely at such cases, every middle-aged person can remember five or six when a person’s life was cut short - literally suddenly. And as a rule, this is a heart attack or something with the heart - the fastest and most reliable death for a person - you never know where she will be watching over her victim.

Also, which I read once in a magazine - “Physical Culture and Sports” for some 80th year, it means a person describes how a heart attack happened to him and how to live after it.

The bottom line is this - this man was a big fan of sports and physical education - accordingly and naturally - he did not drink or smoke. Once I was making a horizontal bar in the yard or some kind of sports corner there - and so I decided to run up to my floor with this horizontal bar for the sake of my health. He ran in and fell - fortunately his wife was nearby - and called " ambulance"- heart attack from prolonged physical fatigue. (It turns out that you need to do physical education moderately - without overworking - observing, so to speak, a “work and rest regime”. So then this person describes for a long time and tediously - how he was treated after this sudden heart attack. About physical education and especially about sports exercises there was no more talk.

Although, in my opinion, it’s a completely normal death - “bang and goodbye” and no torment. It could be worse. The only thing those around him will think about for a while is that he should have packed his briefcase the next day, and he took it and died.

And in these days of sorrow we have to decide on everything else and various questions associated with the burial of the deceased. It’s good if completing various papers takes a little time, so you don’t have to stand in lines. It’s also nice when you can trust all these troubles knowledgeable people who will do everything the best way, thereby providing significant assistance to the relatives and friends of the deceased.

Until recently, there were a number funeral homes, as well as authorities, where everything related to the burial could be formalized. But the realities of modern times are such that there was a significant need to optimize everything related to death registration, registration of a certificate, burial and burial of the deceased, as well as cremation. This is precisely what necessitated the creation by Ritual.ru of the capital’s first multifunctional funeral service center.

A revolutionary model of this business is now operating in the funeral services market, the details of which, as well as the functions of a multifunctional funeral service center, could be learned from a specialized conference that was held the other day in Moscow.

You could learn more about the ritual service center from Ritual.ru during the conference. Do not rack your brains and rush to accept the help of those who will intrusively offer you burial and funeral support services. As a rule, the quality of such services will be unsatisfactory and prices will be inflated. At the time of loss and funeral, a person reacts especially painfully to everything; the arrogance, callousness and greed of such businessmen will add a lot of grief to you. By contacting the center from Ritual.ru, everyone will receive a detailed and meaningful consultation, from which you will learn what documents are needed for burial, how, where and for how much you can be buried in a cemetery, what benefits and compensation a person is entitled to.

The operator of the center delegates the relatives who have applied to a special agent, who meets the emergency services and helps them fill out the documents correctly. Through an online catalog, relatives of the deceased select the goods and services they need for the funeral. Thanks to the help of the center's staff, funeral support is provided at all stages - up to and including burial. Everything is clear, as transparent as possible, without unpleasant surprises, and at a very reasonable affordable price.

At its core Multifunctional Center funeral service is a supermarket of funeral services, where everything is organized in such a way as to offer the relatives and friends of the deceased a truly quality services, eliminating the human factor. The fact is that the agent’s actions are controlled at all stages of funeral support, thereby excluding various force majeure and oversights. In addition, this is not a virtual, but a very real center, occupying an area of ​​​​about 2 thousand square meters, where a call center, a service office, a funeral goods salon, and even a funeral insurance office are located. It is important that everything is arranged in such a way that through the Internet, through agent consultations, through mobile app You can get maximum information and a full range of services.

Of course, it’s better when family and friends are alive and nearby. But if something irreparable happens, no one is insured against death, it’s better when you can bury a loved one with dignity, and at the same time not be left without your last pants if you fall into the clutches of black ritual agents. The Ritual.ru company is very respectable and trustworthy; it is not for nothing that it is included in the TOP 3 companies in the Moscow ritual market.

I was able to walk around and photograph Ritual.ru from the inside:

Metal coffin for individual order. Every whim for your money))

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St. Petersburg coffins of high quality.

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The average price category for coffins is 20,000-30,000 rubles, but there are also more expensive options. The price reaches 500,000


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“Dostoevsky died,” said the citizen, but somehow not very confidently.
“I protest,” Behemoth exclaimed hotly. - Dostoevsky is immortal!

Yes, man is mortal, but that would not be so bad. The bad thing is that he is sometimes suddenly mortal, that's the trick!

You know, a person without documents is strictly prohibited from existing.

For twenty whole years a person does something, for example, reads Roman law, and on the twenty-first it suddenly turns out that Roman law has nothing to do with it, that he doesn’t even understand it and doesn’t like it, but in fact he is a subtle gardener and burns with love to the flowers. This happens, one must assume, from the imperfection of our social system, in which people often find themselves in their place only towards the end of their lives.

If you care about your digestion, my good advice is not to talk about Bolshevism and medicine at dinner. And - God save you - don’t read Soviet newspapers before lunch.
- Hm... But there are no others!
- Don’t read any of them.

He who loves must share the fate of the one he loves.

There are no evil people in the world, there are only unhappy people.

The second freshness is nonsense! There is only one freshness - the first, and it is also the last. And if the sturgeon is second freshness, then this means that it is rotten!

What is this devastation of yours? Old woman with a stick? The witch who broke all the windows and put out all the lamps? Yes, it doesn’t exist at all. What do you mean by this word? This is this: if I, instead of operating every evening, start singing in chorus in my apartment, I will be in ruins. If, entering the restroom, I start, excuse the expression, urinating past the toilet and Zina and Daria Petrovna do the same, devastation will begin in the restroom. Consequently, the devastation is not in the closets, but in the heads.

The devastation is not in the closets, but in the heads

Evil lurks in men who avoid wine, games, the company of lovely women, and table conversation. Such people are either seriously ill or secretly hate those around them.

Already noted a long time ago smart people that happiness is like health: when it is present, you don’t notice it. But when the years pass - how you remember happiness, oh, how you remember!

We are talking to you in different languages“, as always,” Woland responded, “but the things we are talking about do not change because of this.

Never commit a crime, no matter who it is directed against. Live to old age with clean hands.

All will pass. Suffering, torment, blood, famine and pestilence. The sword will disappear, but the stars will remain, when the shadow of our bodies and deeds will not remain on the earth. There is not a single person who does not know this. So why don't we want to turn our gaze to them? Why?

Bulgakov, through his own mouth literary hero Wolanda said: “Yes, man is mortal, but that would not be so bad. The bad thing is that sometimes he is suddenly mortal, that’s the trick!”

During my first years of medical university, I worked part-time as an orderly in a large city hospital, in the courtyard of which, in the most prominent place, there was a morgue combined with a forensic medical examination department. And stories about sudden deaths I heard a lot from his employees.

We had a special relationship with the morgue. I worked in intensive care, that is, in a department where in the morning a body cooling down on a gurney in the corridor is the most common thing. Or even two. My personal record is four.

The person who built the hospital complex had no idea about medical ethics. In the morning you are transporting a cold corpse on a rattling cart, numb feet are swaying under a white sheet with yellow spots, and medical staff and patients for planned hospitalization are moving towards you on their way to work. Very optimistic.

And one day the electricians were doing something in the evening and accidentally left the yard and the morgue without light. And as luck would have it, we had two corpses overnight. And there are three applicants. The head of the department is in command - take the bodies to the morgue, otherwise they make new patients nervous. How we, in pitch darkness, with a nurse who had drunk for courage, took the bodies to the morgue - I’ll tell you about that some other time.

And now about the suddenness of death.

One girl really loved strawberries. She loved it so much that her parents stocked it up in bags and stored it in the freezer until winter. A beautiful girl, a first year student at a prestigious university in the capital, polite, decent, her parents couldn’t be happier. And then one day she comes home from school and, while the soup carefully prepared by her mother is heating up on the stove, the girl reaches into the freezer, picks out a strawberry ice cube and impatiently throws it into her mouth.

What happened next, even the forensic expert does not know. Because there were no witnesses. Either the girl decided to say something to the cat who came running into the kitchen, or she simply choked. But the fact is obvious - the frozen berry slid into the windpipe. And there is a spasm from the cold. Have you seen how they do such things in American films? That's right, they grab you under the armpits from behind and press so that a piece of food flies out of your throat. After that, everyone laughs, applauds the savior and he smiles proudly. For some reason I immediately thought of Jim Carrey.

This never happened in real life.

My parents returned from work in the evening, and in the kitchen there was smoke from burnt soup and a screaming frightened cat. And on the floor, near the refrigerator, the beloved daughter is cooling down with signs of asphyxia on her face. Mom goes to cardiology, daughter goes to our morgue. Woland would have laughed.

A month later, another case. The young couple decided to start an independent life. The parents grumbled for order and set a condition. If you want, live, but you will pay for the housing yourself. The young people were not afraid of the condition. Due to the meager budget of the fledgling family, they rented a tiny rural house outside the city. Repairs were done under Stalin, amenities are in the yard, heating is a stove, in the kitchen there is a gas cylinder connected to an old Soviet stove. But the first independent housing! What else do young people need?

Inexperience let me down. The balloon exploded at night when everyone was sleeping. The explosion blew away the plywood partition between the kitchen and the bedroom, in which the young people had their third dreams. The slate roof sank and collapsed. A fire started immediately. Neighbors came running, put out the fire, and what was left of the new residents was brought to our morgue. Parents, instead of the wedding, chipped in for the funeral.

The third case was resonant. They wrote about him in local newspapers, but everything was somehow casual, as if embarrassed. One winter, a twenty-year-old middle manager was rushing home from work. He got off the bus at his stop and hurried to the welcomingly glowing windows of his home. And in order to get home faster, I decided to take a shortcut through a small park. And he only had a couple of dozen steps left to reach the entrance when his fashionable shoes let their owner down. The sole, hardened by the frost, slid on the ice and the manager, clumsily waving his arms, landed on his back with all his might. He fell so badly that his occipital bone landed on the curb. I lost consciousness immediately from the blow.

People were walking by. Someone must have seen a motionless figure. Someone grumbled dissatisfiedly, saying that he was drunk, a bastard, and also in a coat, he seemed to be a decent person. And no one came up or moved the manager.

At ten o'clock in the evening the wife panicked. The phone doesn't answer, he left work a long time ago. The police laughed - they say, he’s been missing for three hours - that’s not a deadline. I wanted to run outside to look for my husband, but there was no one to leave my young child with. So she sat until the morning in front of the window. And in the morning she received a call from the hospital. More precisely, already from intensive care. Overnight, a hematoma formed at the site of the injury, compressing an area of ​​the brain. The manager was found and picked up at three o'clock in the morning by merry fellows wandering from a nightclub. They themselves were drunk, so they decided to help their imaginary fellow sufferer. And when they couldn’t stir him up, they called an ambulance.

The manager underwent two operations, but died a week later without regaining consciousness. Five hours after the fall he could have been saved.

Why did I write all this? Moreover, neither youth, nor health, nor position in society is a guarantee against the absurdity of death. Woland was right. Somewhere the treacherous or stupid old woman Annushka may be lying in wait for us with a bottle of oil. And don’t pass by people lying on the street. Maybe you will have time to save someone's life.