Jews are a nation whose roots go back to the ancient kingdoms of Judah and Israel. The people, who existed without their own state for more than two thousand years, are today scattered across many countries of the world.

Thus, according to official data, 43% of Jews live in Israel, 39% in the USA, and the rest in various parts of the world. Many of them live very close to us. Do you know how to recognize a Jew among Russians, Germans, Caucasians and other peoples of the world? What features of appearance and character distinguish this ancient and mysterious nation?

Ask

So, how to recognize a Jew? Ask him about it directly. Most Jews are proud of who they are and do not hide their origins. Many half-breeds do not even ask themselves which half to prefer: Jewish or Russian, Ukrainian, Belarusian... And even a drop of blood is priceless for them. This, by the way, is a normal human reaction. After all, Jews are ancient people with a rich history and cultural characteristics. So why not be proud of it? Ask them yourself.

But there are cases when people try to hide their Jewish origin. And that's not normal. For example, during the distant years of perestroika, TV presenter Lyubimov was directly asked about this. And the showman live swore in front of the whole country that neither he nor his parents were Jews. Characteristic features, however, were present both in his appearance and behavior. And the surname spoke for itself: Lyubimov is derived from Liberman.

Look in your passport

What surnames do Jews have? Characteristic features of Jewish surnames are the German suffixes “-man” and “-er”. However, you need to be careful here. After all, both Germans and Latvians themselves have such surnames. For example, Blucher was pure and got his German surname from an ancestor who participated in the war with Napoleon. It was a reward for courage and service to the fatherland - to bear the name of a famous German commander.

There is one more feature of Jewish surnames. So, this may be a kind of “geographical stamp”. Many Jews, moving to Russia from Poland, changed their surnames in such a way that they could understand where they came from. For example, Vysotsky (Vysotsk village in Belarus), Slutsky, Zhitomirsky, Dneprovsky, Nevsky, Berezovsky (Berezovka village), Donskoy, etc.

They can also be formed from diminutive female names. After all, unlike Russians, they trace their ancestry through the maternal line. Example: Mashkin (Mashka), Chernushkin (Chernushka), Zoykin (Zoyka), Galkin (Galka), etc.

But remember that a surname is not a distinctive feature of Jews. Mashkin and Galkin may turn out to be real Russian men, and the seemingly standard Ivanov and Petrov may turn out to be Jews. So it’s too early to draw conclusions based on the last name alone.

Choosing names

With names, everything is much more complicated - they can be anything. Of course, there are purely Jewish ones. For example, Leo (derived from Levi), Anton (from Nathan), Boris (from Boruch), Jacob, Adam, Samson, Mark, Abram (from Abraham), Moses, Nahum, Ada (Adelaide), Dinah, Sarah, Esther ( from Esther), Faina and others.

But there is also a separate category of names that are of Israeli origin, but Russian people wear them even more often than the Jews themselves. The characteristic features of such names are the ending -il (Daniel, Michael, Samuel, Gabriel), as well as the biblical meaning (Mary, Joseph, Ilya (Elijah), Sophia).

Nose

So, what character traits Jewish faces? The first thing people always pay attention to is the nose. Moreover, many believe that this sign alone is enough to consider a person a Jew. The famous “Jewish shnobel” begins to bend from the very base. Thus, the Israeli anthropologist Jacobs described this phenomenon in detail: “the tip bends down, resembling a hook, and the wings are raised.” If you look from the side, the nose resembles the number 6 extended upward. People call this nose the “Jewish six.”

However, based on this feature alone, it is impossible to say with certainty that a person is a Jew. If you look at it, it turns out that almost all of them had big noses: Nekrasov, Gogol, Karamzin, and even Turgenev. But it is known for certain that they were not Jews.

In fact, Israelis can have a wide variety of noses: fleshy “potato” noses, narrow ones with a hump, straight ones, long ones with high nostrils, and even snub noses. So, the nose alone is far from an indicator of “Jewishness.”

Common Mistakes

There is an opinion that there are certain signs that only Jews possess (characteristic facial features) - a huge nose, black eyes, thick lips. We've already dealt with the nose. As for dark eyes, these are the most common negroid characteristics. And the Negroid admixture is characteristic not only of Jews, but also of people of other nationalities. For example, as a result of the union of a Mongoloid and a Negro, the same traits can be obtained. This admixture is often observed among Greeks, Spaniards, Portuguese, Italians, Arabs, Armenians, and Georgians.

Another popular misconception is that Jews have dark, curly hair. Everything is the same here. The Negroid trait is obvious. On the other hand, the biblical Jew David was blond. This is already a Nordic admixture. And look at the Russian singer Agutin - a typical Jew, but by no means dark-haired.

Sign number one

And yet, how can one distinguish a Jew from a Slavic-Russian by his face? Are there reinforced concrete signs? Answer: yes.

If you doubt who is in front of you: a Jew or not, first of all pay attention to the racial trait - the Mediterranean admixture. Even Caucasians do not have it, who are often confused with Jews because of their fleshy noses, thick lips and curly hair. The Mediterranean admixture is very characteristic and clearly expressed even with great inbreeding. What is it?

Both straight and in profile it is a very narrow long face. It does not expand upward, unlike typical Slavic-Russian faces. Only Jews have this head shape with a narrow and elongated nape. Characteristic features can be seen in photographs by Louis de Funes or Sofia Rotaru. Russian Jews are a mixture of Mediterraneans and Western Asians (Caucasians, Armenians). Ideal examples are Boris Pasternak and Vladimir Vysotsky.

So, the main distinguishing feature of Jews is a very narrow, long face that does not widen towards the top. If, due to some impurities, such a face has expanded, then anywhere, but not in the forehead area. A Jew's forehead is always narrow, as if it were squeezed in a vice. In other places, in principle, the head can expand. And after you have seen this sign, you can pay attention to the nose, lips, eyes, last name and everything else that distinguishes Jews.

Character Traits

The main character traits of any Jew are self-confidence, absolute self-esteem and any lack of shyness and timidity. There is even a special term in Yiddish that combines these qualities - “khutzpa”. There are no translations of this word into other languages. Chutzpah is a kind of pride that causes a desire to act, without fear of being underprepared or incapable.

What is “chutzpah” for Jews? Courage, the ability to change your destiny, to fight its unpredictability. Many Jews believe that the very existence of their state of Israel is sacred, and this is an act of chutzpah.

As mentioned above, there are no analogues or translations of this concept in other languages. But in non-Jewish society, chutzpah has a negative connotation and is identified with the concepts of “arrogance,” “intolerance towards other people,” “shamelessness,” etc.

Indirect signs

It is worth considering some more Slavs and Jews. So, for example, facial cleanliness. Jews, unlike most Russians, often have a cluster of birthmarks in the area of ​​the nose, mouth and chin. Moles are a sign of aging and degradation of the body. The later they form on the human body, the stronger the body. Jews, as a rule, are formed in childhood.

We continue to name the characteristic features of Israelis - their gums are very exposed when they smile. This is very rarely observed among Slavic-Russians. Jews often have a fairly sparse and asymmetrical dentition, unlike the Slavs, who are characterized by dense lower and upper teeth.

Burr as a speech defect is often considered an indirect sign. In principle, it is characteristic of some Jews. But only to a minority. Most Israelis pronounce the letter "r" very clearly. And they even teach this to Russians. But still, burring is a rare sign, because many of the Jews who had such a defect worked hard with a speech therapist. And any Russian child can have this pronunciation from birth.

Nationality

All peoples of the world do not have mandatory and strict laws that regulate nationality. There is freedom of choice: either the nationality of the mother or the father. The only exceptions are Jews. They have a strict and inviolable law: only those born of a Jewish mother can be considered a Jew.

And this law is strictly observed throughout the entire existence of the nation.

Each nationality has distinctive features of appearance, character, and lifestyle. They tell them who a person is: Russian, Negro, Chinese, Jew. Representatives of the latter nation have a rich history and cultural heritage, live in many countries of the world. To identify a Jew, a description of what he looks like, knowledge of the peculiarities of his mentality and way of life will be useful.

How to distinguish a Jew: characteristic features

There are known ways to determine and recognize a person’s belonging to the nation in question. Easy - ask about it. Jews are often proud of their nationality and do not hide their origin. A person’s last name and even his character can tell about this. Another method for determining Jewish affiliation is recognizing a nation based on its appearance.

Head shape

To establish a person’s nationality, it is advisable to pay attention to the skull and face type.

The main sign of a Jew is the asymmetry of the head, in contrast to the Slavic-Russian, who has a clearly defined oval shape. For the latter, this creates a feeling of a secure, strong fit.

Jews often have an elongated head, the oval of the face is elongated, as in the photo of actor Nicolas Cage.

Asymmetry determines the types of skulls that Jews have, in addition to elongated: pear-shaped, round, compressed. The sloping back of the head is characteristic, which can be seen in the photo of the cellist, pianist and conductor Mstislav Rostropovich.

In this case, the person's profile clearly shows a flat area slightly sloping backwards.

It is not uncommon for a Jew to have a round head, but it is pressed into the shoulders due to the short neck. The photo shows comedian Mikhail Zhvanetsky.

This feature is often combined with short stature and excess weight of a person.

Another characteristic of the shape of a Jew’s head is the sloping forehead, visually tilted back. Yuri Nikulin's photograph shows this anthropological feature.

Nose

The way to determine nationality by appearance is to pay attention to a person’s nose. There are varieties of typical Jewish noses: wide, drop-shaped, elongated.

The famous “shnobel” is curved at the base, reminiscent of a hook, while the wings are raised. This shape forms the number 6, which is why in anthropology the nose is called the “Jewish six.”

The sign can be seen in the photo of actor Adrien Brody.

Among the Nazis in Germany, this characteristic of the nose was considered the main way to recognize Semitic appearance. In German schools, special classes were held where children were told the signs of the Jewish nation.

However, this type of nose is also found among Russians (in Gogol, Nekrasov), so one should not judge nationality by only one external feature.

Jews are characterized by an elongated thin nose, the tip of which extends far down beyond the line of the wings, which differs from the classical shape of the Slavs. The sign is clearly visible in the photo of musician Leonid Agutin.

The Jew Zinovy ​​Gerdt has a drop nose. This shape is characterized by a wide tip and elongation downwards.

The Jewish nose, turned up above the edge of the nostrils, is shown in the photo of actor Alexei Batalov.

Eyes

You can tell that a person belongs to Jewish nationality by looking at his eyes. Characteristic feature their bulge stands out, as in the photo of businessman Roman Abramovich.

When closing the eyes, the heavy eyelids are represented as part of a ball - this is the way the Germans identified Jews. They were also distinguished by the piercing gaze of a “lying man.” The signs were listed briefly and clearly in the German-sounding manual for children “Der Giftpilz”, created by Julius Streicher.

It is believed that Jews have poor eyesight: they are more likely than other peoples to suffer from color blindness and wear glasses.

Characterized by close proximity of the eyes, congenital strabismus is possible.

The color is predominantly dark, but there are also other shades, such as blue. There are blue-eyed brunettes among Jews.

Ears

A clear sign of Jewish nationality is a weakly defined, fused earlobe.

The shape of the shell is different, the contours of the lower half are often asymmetrical to the upper.

The Slavic ear is pressed to the side of the head with the middle. The Jewish one is fused with the lower and upper regions, as can be seen in the photograph of Vladimir Zhirinovsky.

Sometimes it seems that the shells on the bottom extend almost from the neck; they are called “saiga ears.”

Hair and beard

Among the representatives of the nation there is a variety of hair shades: from light to black. Characterized by curly, wavy strands. Jewish nationality is characterized by dark hair color: from chestnut to black.

However, blondes are not uncommon. There are more fair-haired people among Ashkenazim (German-speaking European Jews) than among other types.

Redheads are also possible, mainly Polish Jews and representatives of the nation in Russia.

An element of the hairstyle is sidelocks - grown strands at the temples. They are optional, but along with a beard and sideburns, they are considered a custom and tradition of Jewish culture.

If a person is bald, false strands attached to the headdress are used as sidelocks.

Mouth

A peculiarity of the structure of the mouth of Jews is the excessive exposure of the gums when smiling, like Andrei Makarevich.

Mobility of the lips and their asymmetry during conversation are noted.

Representatives of the nation are characterized by uneven dentition. In comparison with the Slavs, who have dense teeth, Jews have asymmetry of teeth, they are somewhat rare, as in the photo of Evgeny Evstigneev.

Last name and first name

The way to find out if there are Jewish roots is to analyze the person's last name and first name. However, you should not use the method as a fundamental one.

Characteristic endings of Jewish surnames:

• on “-man” (Liberman, Guzman);
• on “-er” (Stiller, Posner);
• on “-ts” (Katz, Schatz);
• with “-on” (Gordon, Kobzon);
• on “-ik” (Yarmolnik, Oleinik);
• with “-iy” (Vishnevsky, Razumovsky).

But their carriers are people of different origins. Endings similar to Slavic ones are possible (Soloviev). The origin of the Jewish surname is known from male and female names (Abramovich, Yakubovich, Rubinchik).

Leaving Poland, many Jews changed their surname, depending on where they were from - Vysotsky (Vysotsk village), Dneprovsky, Nevsky and so on.

There is great diversity in names. True Jewish ones (Daniil, Lev, Ilya, Yakov, Dina, Sofia) are often worn by representatives of Russian nationality.

What does a Jewish woman look like?

Jewish girls are confused with representatives of other nations, Caucasian or Mediterranean.

The distinctive features are similar to those of men, but are milder.

A purebred Jewish woman of middle and old age is usually presented as a woman with outstanding forms, a loud voice and the name Rozochka, Sarochka, and so on.

The representative of the nation is considered a caring wife and a reverent mother, overly protective of her children. However, they note the negligence of women in everyday life, clothing and appearance, specific body odor. The rude manners of young and old Jewish women, who are characterized by loudness, are distinguished. Due to carelessness, they often smell of tobacco and sweat.

Face

The portrait of a Jewish woman, like a man, has characteristic national traits. The hair is mostly dark. The nose is large, elongated or with a hump, plump lips.

Beautiful eyes deserve attention: slightly convex, bright and expressive.

They display eternal sadness, anxiety and worry.

Cheeks are sometimes chubby, which has been noted since childhood and persists in young girls and boys. Some sources cite excessive overfeeding of children and overprotection as the cause.

Jewish traditions include covering one's hair in public or in the presence of a male stranger.

However, today the custom is rarely observed, only in strictly orthodox circles.

Figure

A genetic feature of the body structure is considered to be wide hips, narrow shoulders, and full legs.

Jewish women predominantly have curvaceous and sensual figures, but there are also opposite types of figures.

Such women are characterized by narrow bones, dark complexion, and subtle oriental beauty.

With age, the figure often deteriorates; overly fat Jewish women are a common phenomenon. Among the reasons are childbirth, since it is considered normal for a family to have 4-5 children, which is reflected in the appearance of the body.

Circumcision

A specific way to check Jewishness is to establish the integrity of the foreskin of the male genital organ.

In fact, circumcision is not only a Jewish rite, but also a Muslim one. The difference is that in the latter case the foreskin is absent. Among the Jews, it was recommended to do the procedure partially, the area was cut off only from above.

It is believed that the manipulations among the Jews caused the gradual formation of an upward bend in the genital organ and its acquisition of a hook-shaped appearance.

Features and rules of life

The complex history of the Jews explains why they did not have their own state for so long, which left an imprint on their development and way of life. In ancient times, they were under the yoke of the Egyptians, located on land under their control. After the capture of Judea by Rome, the Jews were finally expelled by the Latin pagans and forced to spread throughout the world, beginning a two-thousand-year wandering.

The nation, which existed for more than 2 thousand years without its own state, is now spread almost everywhere. The place where most of its representatives live is Israel (43%), 39% is in the United States of America, the remaining share is in other states. Currently, the number of Jews living on earth is 16.5 million.

The question of what race the Jews belong to is complex, since they combined the features of various nations that came into contact with them, which was also reflected in the external signs of the nation. According to their anthropological type, they are classified as Caucasians of the Indo-Mediterranean race.

The nation includes half-breeds (mixing with Russians, Poles and Poles, and so on), while the true representative is considered a person with Jewish roots by mother. To find out if they exist, you can contact a special service that will search the archives and determine the relationship. To receive an inheritance, move to Israel, join the community, and so on, they must prove the presence of Jews in the family up to the third generation (maximum grandparents).

The peculiar behavior of representatives of a nation is a sign of belonging to it. They highlight such qualities of Jews as self-confidence, self-esteem, and pride. Psychology unites them into the concept of “chutzpah.” Jews are bad and dangerous according to the public, who consider them greedy, stingy, selfish, and rude.

An interesting fact is how Jews recognize each other. They call the sign “sorrow in the eyes.” A happy look is not typical for them.

Jews are the only people who managed to maintain their isolation, culture, religion, despite scary story. Perhaps they achieved this by considering themselves better than others, living by established rules, which is why they do not attract others into their community.

However, by going through the rite of conversion, you can become a Jew even if you are not a Jew. This requires the consent of 3 rabbis, memorizing 613 commandments, learning the religious canon, taking an oath, circumcision is indicated for men.

The rules that real Jews observe are described in the book of the Torah: what they eat and drink (kosher food and drinks), use separate utensils when they are not working (on Shabbat), and so on.

Jewish blood is revealed by the characteristics of the voice timbre: high in men and low in middle-aged and older women. At the end of sentences there is a characteristic increase in tone. Signs include a senile, rattling voice that persists from childhood to the end of life. However, this feature does not prevent Jews from singing and amaze others with their talent. An example of this is Tamara Gverdtsiteli.

An important feature is the fact that Jews live long. Average duration life is 82 years. The reasons are developed medicine and favorable social conditions. However, the representatives of the nation themselves condition longevity on warm friendly relations, love and harmony in the family.

Jews are considered a cunning and quick-witted people. Stories and anecdotes about their intelligence and ingenuity are written and told everywhere. This also explains why the 3rd floor is called Jewish. It is convenient in terms of life: it does not rise high, it is located away from the roof. The term appeared in the USSR and is relevant for five-story buildings. To some extent, it reveals the essence of Jewishness.

Representatives of the nation are distinguished by their extraordinary intelligence and creative abilities; among them there are politicians, musicians, actors, and so on.

This determines the public opinion that a terry Jew cannot be deceived and cannot be defeated. The photo shows a young but already famous journalist and political scientist Fridrikhson Nadana Aleksandrovna.

Relations between Russians and Jews were characterized by mutual dislike; the former contemptuously called the latter Jews. However, now there is no tension between representatives of the nation, and there is a trend for the better.

Common Misconceptions

There are rumors, conjectures, and assumptions about the Jewish nation. However, not all of them are true.

• Only someone born a Jew can become a Jew.. The statement is erroneous, since a non-Jew, having undergone the rite of conversion, is recognized as a member of the community.
• Representatives of the nation have a huge nose, plump lips and black eyes. In fact, there are fair-haired or red-haired Jews with thin noses.
• An indirect sign of Jews is that they burr. This is due to the guttural pronunciation of the letter “r”, which is why it is perceived as a speech defect. However, most of them speak correctly and clearly, and burring is characteristic of people of other nationalities.
• The Jews crucified Jesus Christ. The Romans did this. The Jews denounced the son of God, and also did not prevent the execution.
• Jewish women have the largest breasts. The statement is due to the characteristics of women’s figures, but according to research, the primacy belongs to residents of Great Britain.
• Jews have the longest nose. However, more outstanding dimensions of the olfactory organ were recorded among the Turks.
• Jewish language Yiddish. Their languages ​​are Hebrew and Aramaic. Yiddish is a form of dialect language characteristic of Ashkenazim.

This book is intended for girls and women who are not yet familiar with the Jewish tradition. It is based on many years of experience preparing brides for chuppah - the traditional Jewish marriage ceremony. The purpose of the book is to introduce readers to a wide range of aspects that make up the mosaic of family life. To solve specific, concrete problems, you should seek the opinion of a rabbi - an expert in the field.

Man and woman (instead of introduction)

A man and a woman - their relationship, the distribution of roles in the family and in life - is an eternal topic. Literary works and scientific research have been and will be written about this. How much has been said about women's cunning and tricks that allow them to manipulate men. On the other hand, a painting by a Leningrad artist comes to mind, where a woman is depicted in the form of a harp, and a man plays it. Today, at the peak of democratic ecstasy, maxims about complete equality of the sexes (not only social, but also physiological?!) will sound quite modern. You never know how many options human ingenuity gives us!

But you only need one thing - simple happiness. Create a family in which it would be good for both adults and children. Our Jewish tradition points the way to this. The Torah teaches that man and woman complement each other. They do not oppose each other, do not conquer their rights from each other, but complement them!

A man’s path is to conquer (space and time), but this requires a fulcrum. A woman is such a support. The house is blessed through the woman. And this fact is stated by the Talmud.

This book is about how a woman should build her family life in order to become a channel through which the Creator’s blessing will flow.

Happiness to you, dear readers! Rabbi David Eldin.

What is love?

Mazal tov! The bride and groom stand side by side under the chuppah - the symbolic roof of their future home. Blessings and congratulations sound. What is happening in heaven at this time? The Almighty, rolling up his sleeves, carefully sews together, stitch by stitch, two souls into one.

He had been waiting for this moment for a long time. At the hour of conception it was predetermined that this Jewish daughter would become the wife of this Jewish youth. But how many gears had to be turned, what events had to be accomplished, shaking countries and continents, for these two to meet!

Now the Almighty is pleased: finally the two halves become one. From now on, the three of them will forever be in the house: husband, wife and the Creator, who illuminates every moment of their life together, protects from troubles, and bestows blessings. The letters of His holy Name - “yud” and “ey” - are present one at a time in the words “husband” and “wife” - “ish” and “isha”. With their mutual love and agreement, the Name of G-d shines brightly. But woe to him who dares to erase the holy letters from his life. Then “ish” and “isha” will turn into double “esh” - fire, the flame of discord and quarrels, devouring such fragile happiness.

What is love? The Torah says that it is born only after the chuppah and develops as the newlyweds get to know each other. The words “aava” - love and “ava” - to give - have the same root. To love means to give your loved one your attention and care, time and work, in short - yourself. The more you give, the more you love. And then, as the sages say, just as a face is reflected in water, so a person’s heart is reflected in another heart. This is how souls become closer; This is how separated bodies become a single organism.

This is not an easy job. After all, left alone, the newlyweds see each other without makeup, revealing, in addition to undoubted advantages, a number of shortcomings or irritating habits.

Accept each other, pity and forgive, respect and appreciate - these are the steps to the top, to happiness in the house. In a family, one cannot win at the expense of the other - only the common good, the common victory, hold together the building blocks of the family hearth. Peace in the family is the highest ideal that spouses strive for. And this peak can be conquered!

At a wedding they want to build a building that will last forever. May God grant that every Jewish home be a real Palace!

Strength of the Jewish Family

For many generations, the Jewish family was famous for its strength, which was the envy of surrounding nations. What is this amazing unity based on?

Under the chuppah, the groom puts a ring on the bride and thereby dedicates her to himself. What does it mean? The fact that this girl was chosen by him from millions of others and will belong to him alone. And the fact that he will be her only man. From this moment on, the young husband and wife are similar to the first created people - Adam and Eve, who were alone on the whole Earth, and there was no one else besides them, and the genealogy of humanity began with them.

In order to help spouses truly get closer, the Almighty gives them a “secret weapon” called “Taarat ha-mishpacha,” that is, the laws of holiness and purity of family life. Thanks to them, the “honeymoon” in a Jewish family never ends. It’s simple - every new month becomes a honeymoon.

Our sages compare newlyweds to intertwining grapevines. Why with grapes? The fact is that a drink made from any fruit does not last long. In contrast, grape wine only gets refined and improved over time, its quality and value increase. This is how the Jewish home strengthens over the years!

The husband, the head of the family, is like the Sun. Its light is constant, even. But the wife is like the Moon: she changes periodically - from full moon to new moon, and again - to blossom.

The Creator of the whole world knows his creations and their nature. It is he who suggests that the husband treat his wife with care, taking into account the characteristics of her body.

Like the phases of the moon, marital relationships know their ebbs and flows, days of closeness and distance. The Song of Songs says: “My sister, my bride,” “My sister, my wife.” Can a man marry his sister? However, we are talking about the same woman. She is a wife, a spouse on days of closeness, and on days of distance, family relationships move to another level. The spouses temporarily become like brother and sister. Physical intimacy gives way to spiritual intimacy. This constant training, the transition from one quality to another, repeated periodically, keeps the feelings fresh and vibrant.

The desire of the spouses for each other intensifies due to the conditional separation and reaches its maximum on the day of their new “meeting” - similar to the day when the newlyweds came out from under the chuppah.

The purity of holiness and the mikveh

The concepts of “taara” - spiritual purity and “tuma” - impurity - are associated with the degree of holiness human life. Life is the most precious thing. For the sake of her salvation, almost all the laws of the Torah are deviated. With the arrival of death, the place of holiness is immediately taken over by uncleanness, affecting everyone who is nearby - both those who bury and those who visit the cemetery. The letters of the word “tuma” make up the word “atum” - closed, sealed, as if covered with a film that does not allow Divine light and good to pass through.

The phenomenon of menstruation for a woman is something similar to death, since the opportunity for the birth of a new life was not used. This “breath of death” envelops a woman in a veil of spiritual impurity.

To throw off “tumuu”, it is necessary to cleanse yourself in special living water from a natural source.

It can be a natural body of water - a river, a sea. And in modern conditions- a comfortable, sparkling clean mikvah. They build a mikvah so that it has two reservoirs. The smaller one receives the required amount of living water - spring or rain - without the participation of human hands. Through a small hole, the small reservoir is connected to the large one, in which, in fact, they are dipped.

The water in a large pool can be heated, cleaned, disinfected, changed - to satisfy the needs of the most pampered lady. According to the rule of communicating vessels living water from a small reservoir imparts its magical properties to ordinary water in a large reservoir.

Mikvahs are open daily except on the 9th of Av and Yom Kippur, when marital intimacy is prohibited by law. Opening hours are after sunset, when there are fewer curious people on the street. And inside, the layout of the room promotes complete discreteness.

Modesty, one of the highest Jewish ideals, requires spouses not to disclose the day of immersion in the mikveh to outsiders. And the sages also say that blessing is present on what is hidden from prying eyes.

Descent for the sake of ascent

The path to purity begins with immersion in ritual impurity. This is called descent for the sake of ascent, since after plunging into the waters of the mikveh, the woman rises much higher than her previous spiritual level. And so - every time, higher and higher!

What leads to ritual impurity? This is uterine bleeding in any form: normal menstruation, injury, medical intervention, or a blood-colored stain found on underwear. If the blood is not from the uterus, but, say, from an external scratch or a mosquito bite, then it does not violate the state of purity.

The sages established minimum term bleeding in 5 days, even if only a few drops of blood came out. If after 5 days the bleeding has not stopped, wait until it ends. Days are counted in Hebrew, that is, a new day begins at sunset. For example, blood appeared at night at the end of Saturday, or on Sunday morning, or in the afternoon - all this is the first day. The fifth day will be Thursday.

At the end of the fifth day, if there is no more bleeding, or, accordingly, the sixth or seventh, a procedure is performed called “efsek taara” - a break to cleanliness. Its purpose is to make sure that the bleeding has stopped.

To do this, at the end of the fifth day (before sunset) you should swim completely or at least from below. Then take a white, clean piece of cotton cloth, wrap it around your index finger and insert it gently into the vagina. Having taken out the shred, make sure it is clean. If there are traces of blood, from red to black, you can repeat the check in a few minutes, if there is still time and the Sun has not set. If there is still blood, the procedure is postponed until tomorrow.

If the flap is clean, take another, new one. It is also inserted into the vagina, but is not taken out immediately, but is left there for a while - until the stars come out. In the meantime, you can do whatever you want.

So, about an hour passes. The border of the day has been passed, a new Jewish date has arrived. Now you can take out the flap and examine it carefully. If its purity is beyond doubt, then great! If we see a spot of an unknown color, we should hide the flap until the morning, and in the morning examine it in the light of the Sun. Only natural lighting shows color without distortion. Yellow, greenish, golden hues - and even purple - are pure. Red, brown, brown - to black - are unclean. And if it is difficult to determine what color it is, the question is asked to a competent rabbi. There is no need to be shy here - a rabbi, like a doctor, is called upon to help in a difficult situation. This is what he gets paid for! But how much joy and relief the elimination of doubts brings.

Once again: if the test turns out to be unclean, you will have to repeat it again before sunset the next day.

Seven “clean” days

The next morning, on Friday, the countdown of seven clean days begins. During this period, pay attention to whether the bleeding will resume. Therefore, you should wear white linen and make a white bed. On white, any speck of blood will be immediately noticeable. Every day out of seven, you should check twice - in the morning and before sunset. Namely, insert a clean white piece of paper, take it out and inspect it, and, after making sure it is clean, throw it away. If blood is detected, return to the previous stage. That is, they do “efsek tahara” again as soon as possible.

Seven days twice - we check 14 times. However, there may be a situation when the check is missed - circumstances interfered, the Sun suddenly went down, or simply sclerosis... This is all forgivable. But it is extremely important not to miss at least one check on the first day (in our example - Friday) and on the seventh day (in our example - next Thursday). If these checks were not carried out at all, then the entire seven-day account may be canceled and you will have to start over, which is a pity!

Such a necessary item in everyday life - a scrap for testing - in Israel is sold in pharmacies and in “Jewish” - that is, religious - stores. And far from the homeland, you can prepare them in advance yourself from pure white cotton fabric, cutting them into squares with a side of 8 centimeters. Before use, the shreds should be inspected to see if there are any stains or foreign objects on them - threads, grains of sand, etc.

By the way, test pieces in Hebrew are called “edim” - witnesses. Why? After all, no one is watching the woman performing the check. Her word is believed, and the used scraps are thrown away. Witnesses - “edim” - are called to the Higher Heavenly Court when an angel asks the soul about the commandments it fulfilled on Earth. When the turn on the list comes to “family purity,” this is where the woman will need a certificate of protection.

During the “clean” week, as well as on menstruation days, a woman’s body is sacred and inviolable, like a museum jewel under glass. Intimacy at this time is unacceptable. This the strictest ban Torah, the violation of which is punishable by “karet,” that is, cutting off the soul from its source.

Also in practice - excessive intimacy on forbidden days leads, alas, to discord and alienation at a time prepared for intimacy.

To remind spouses of their purely “brotherly” relationship, in order to prevent a situation where it is difficult to control oneself in the face of temptation, Jewish law provides for a number of rules of distancing - “dinei arhakot”.

First of all, spouses are forbidden to sleep in the same bed, even if each has their own pillow and blanket. A Jewish bedroom should have two beds that do not touch each other (or, alternatively, an additional sofa, pull-out chair, etc.). Kisses and hugs are not allowed.

A wife should not change clothes in the presence of her husband so that he does not see her naked body. You cannot sing in front of him, and you must use cosmetics and, especially, perfume very sparingly - after all, this is very attractive to a man.

During a meal, you cannot eat from the same plate or drink from the same glass. Moreover, if spouses eat together, some kind of “separating” object, for example, a vase of flowers, should be placed on the table.

You cannot carry one object together, even if it is long, like a log. Do not pass an object from hand to hand. One of the spouses will put, for example, the key on the table, and the second will take it.

You should not sit close to each other; in extreme cases, you can put some object between you - a handbag, etc.

All these conventions can be called a game, but such a game greatly enriches relationships, opening up new opportunities and a creative approach to expressing love at a distance, delicately showing attention and care towards the person closest to you.

To the mikveh!

The seventh clean day arrives - Thursday in our example. At the end of it, you can go to the mikvah. This day should be organized so that it is not loaded with many things to do. It's better not to get too tired!

We remember that in the evening the living water of the mikvah must touch every centimeter, every cell of the surface of our body - therefore there should be nothing on it that blocks the access of water. In Hebrew, such a barrier is called “hatzitza.”

With this in mind, we try not to get dirty with paint, ink, or glue in the morning; do not knead the dough, etc. It is also advisable not to eat meat or other food that gets stuck between the teeth. However, this is not a law, but a custom. If necessary, you can perform any urgent work.

On Saturday, for example, it is customary to eat meat. If at the end of the day it is time for dipping in the mikveh, and refusing meat will arouse the “suspicion” of others, then they eat as usual.

An important stage of preparation for dipping is khafifa, that is, preliminary bathing. This is not a daily shower. If we take cleaning an apartment as an example, then we have, as they say in Odessa, two big differences between everyday putting things in order and general cleaning for Passover.

It is better to choose a quiet time for swimming, when there is no queue for the bathroom and nothing is burning on the stove. Ideally, this should be at sunset, just before going to the mikvah. But if another time is more convenient, then you can start in the morning. The main thing is to have at least an hour left.

To begin with, you should forget about all your worries and relax in the bathroom for at least half an hour. Wash your hair thoroughly and comb it - there should be no knots or tangled hair.

Don’t forget about the “small details” - ears, nose, corners of the eyes, holes from earrings; brush your teeth using, in addition to a brush and toothpaste, also a toothpick or special dental floss.

By the way, if the evening is still far away and you probably want to eat, then immediately before the mikvah you will need to brush your teeth again.

The entire body should be thoroughly rubbed with a washcloth, avoiding folds and hidden places. Body hair can be shaved or not, depending on your habit. The main thing is that they are not confused.

Hard skin, for example on the heels, calluses, flaky areas, should be rubbed with a pumice stone or treated with appropriate tools. If there is a bandage or plaster on the body, it must be removed. An old scratch needs to be rubbed with a washcloth to remove the crust. For a fresh wound that is still painful, it is enough to soften it with warm water.

If there is a blister and it is still intact, it is better not to touch it. And if it has already burst, you need to cut off all the loose skin. A protruding splinter should be removed, but if it is deep under the skin, it does not interfere.

Nails are serious work. First of all, remove the varnish. It is advisable to cut your fingernails and toenails short. If long nails are a subject of special pride for a girl, the law meets her halfway, provided that under the nails it is clean and there are no hangnails. Usually, nails on both hands and feet are not cut on the same day. But our case is an exception.

The order in which nails are cut is also determined. Start with the fingers of the left hand or toe in this order:

Nameless

Pointing

Little finger

Average

Big

and then on the right:

Pointing

Nameless

Big

Average

Little finger.

It is interesting that the fingers are counted to the left and under the chuppah: the wedding ring is placed on the 7th finger from the left, that is, on the index right hand(7 is a lucky number). Then it is worn on the ring - 9th finger, probably meaning the full 9 months of pregnancy.

If preparations for dipping are completed long before the evening, then you can still use cream and apply makeup, but if we are already going to the mikvah, then there is no point in using cosmetics.

By the way, all the necessary preparations can be carried out in the mikvah building. Sometimes this just helps out - for example, if there is no hot water at home or the electricity has run out.

When going to the mikvah, you should take bath accessories, a towel, and a comb with you. If you wish, you can bring a robe and slippers. However, the mikvah is fully stocked with everything you need - from shampoo to toothpicks - just in case.

In the lobby we are met by “balanite” - she is both a controller and an assistant. This is a sweet, friendly woman who knows the laws and is wise from everyday experience. She will be able to give the necessary advice, ask the rabbi a question if necessary, and wish good news with all her heart.

To begin with, Balanitis will direct us to a spare bathroom. There is also a toilet, large mirrors, a washbasin, shelves and hangers. Here you need to undress, take off your watch and all jewelry, wash off your makeup, and take out your false teeth. Speaking of teeth: a temporary filling is an obstacle to immersion!

You need to take a shower again, even if you just washed at home. Comb your hair thoroughly again. Examine yourself from all sides to see if there are any fallen hairs on your body. By the way, it is not recommended to cut your hair immediately before the mikvah, so that the shedding hair does not stick to the body.

Now you can call it balanitis. She must make sure that there are no foreign objects on the woman’s body, for example, hair that has fallen down her back while combing. Balanite will ask you to show her your hands - palms and back; feet, will pay attention to the nails, remind you of the ears, nose, teeth, navel and so on. After this quick check we head to the pool itself. It is small, designed for one person. We carefully descend the steps to the required depth, holding onto the railing. The water level is deep place reaches the chest. Here you need to take a position with your back turned to the balanite, who is watching the dipping from above. We place our feet shoulder-width apart, with our knees slightly bent. We move the body forward a little, and the arms too. This resembles the pose of a woman kneading dough. There is no need to clench your fingers into fists, clench your teeth or squeeze your eyelids with force. All muscles should be relaxed.

Now everything is ready! You need to sit down sharply, plunging your head under the water, and get up! At the time of plunging, you must not touch the floor or walls of the pool, you must not touch your leg with your hand, etc. Water can resist and push, so you need to calculate your movements and breathing.

What is happening to the soul at this moment cannot be seen with the naked eye. When we hide under water for a moment, we seem to cease to exist in this world. We are like an unborn child floating in the waters; similar to the Earth before the third day of Creation, when it was still hidden by the ocean. Complete cleansing and renewal occurs. And now we rise from the water as a different person.

Balanite, who was watching the dive, proclaims: “Kasher!” - if everything was in order. And if, for example, long hair or other parts of the body are left above the water, balanitis will ask you to take a dip again.

After the first kosher dipping, a blessing should be said. To do this, you need to straighten up, fold your arms under your chest without touching your body - thereby separating the top and bottom. Balanite lowers a towel on top of our heads - so that we can speak holy words with our heads covered. The text is as follows: “Baruch ata Hashem Elokeinu Melech Aolam, asher kidshanu bemitzvotav vetsivana al atwila.” “Blessed be the Lord our God, the Ruler of the Universe, who has sanctified us with His commandments and commanded us to immerse.”

If you forgot the blessing, then balanite will tell you.

So, in response to the blessing, the balanite says “Amen” and removes the towel. Now it’s time for the main dipping. How many more times to dive under water - there is no standard answer to this question. At least once - for elderly, unhealthy women who are afraid of water or have problems. It is customary to adhere to the traditions of one's community or family.

Thus, we continue to plunge according to the already known rules, each time receiving approval: “Kasher”. An unsuccessful dive is not counted. Having finished, we will hear from above, as the announcement of the verdict, the words of Balanite: “You have plunged according to the law, in holiness and purity. Be blessed! Now the balanitis goes away, but... that's not all!

While we are in the water of the mikveh, we have an exceptional opportunity to connect with the Creator. This is called “et ratzon” - the time of favor. The Almighty awaits our prayers with love. Our requests and wishes now rise to Him without obstacles. And we must use this right: to ask for ourselves, for our family, for health and well-being, for the healing of the sick, for deliverance from suffering, for peace in the home, for children and their successes, for our entire people. Focus on the most important thing, concentrate your will and remember everyone.

Now you can go out and get dressed. In the foyer, the balanite will shake hands goodbye, treat you with sweets and wish what everyone needs: the bride - happiness in marriage; for a young mother - the joy of raising children; an adult woman - to marry and give away her sons and daughters in prosperity and abundance.

From this moment on, the bride is ready for the chuppah, and the married woman is ready for the desired meeting with her husband.

Pre-wedding days

So, the path to purification has been completed successfully. What's next? And then you should know that life sometimes asks questions that are not described in textbooks. To solve them, you have to resort to the help of a specialist - a knowledgeable rabbi. For example, how to take a dip if water gets into your ears and causes serious damage to your health? What to do if the ring has not been removed from your finger for many years? Finally, how to correctly count seven clean days when flying across the ocean, when the days are shortened or increased?

However, in addition to such complex situations, there are topics available for our consideration.

Let's go back to the pre-wedding days. For a virgin bride, they are especially exciting. So much so that they can disrupt its natural cycle. Due to worries and nervous tension, menstruation may begin prematurely, or strange black-brown spots may appear on the underwear. In these cases, a break from cleanliness can be taken immediately at the first opportunity, without waiting for five days.

The first wedding night for a virgin is a grandiose and dramatic event. After all the worries and troubles associated with holding a wedding, after worries and anxieties, so that everything goes wonderfully, after congratulations, wishes, gifts and smiles, loud music and fiery dances there comes the blessed silence of the moment when the newlyweds are finally left alone and united forever. Not only two souls, but also two bodies become a single entity, approaching the perfection of Adam - the first man, similar in his unity and integrity to his One Creator.

This holy combination is associated with pain and blood for the first time. However, intimacy is not stopped, but completed completely, after which they certainly separate and no longer resort to intimacy. The young wife becomes “nida,” although the bleeding was not due to menstruation, but for “technical reasons.”

If blood does not appear, it is assumed that a small amount of blood was present, but went unnoticed. In rare cases, the absence of blood is associated with the individual characteristics of the girl’s body.

The nida state turns young spouses into “brother and sister” who must behave in accordance with the rules described above. Until the next immersion in the mikvah, they will express love for each other, gratitude and appreciation only with their eyes, smile and kind words without touching each other.

Is this behavior possible the morning after the wedding? If you remember the reward that the spouses will receive in the future, the effort will be worth it. After all, newlyweds build their relationship, their happiness, not for a month, not for a year, but for a lifetime.

They need to learn a lot for this: wait and endure, give in and agree, trust and justify, feel and understand each other.

Our sages said that a poor man carrying a loaf of bread in a basket does not suffer as much from hunger as a beggar who has no bread at all. In other words, a husband who has already possessed his wife and knows that he will possess her again after some time is able to wait for his wife to return from the mikvah.

As for the young wife, she needs time not only to heal the wound, but also to realize her role in the family and the fact that the body, which until now was her personal property, can bring a lot of joy to her husband.

If the wedding date is successfully planned, you can make it to the mikveh before your next period. If, in the meantime, menstruation begins, then the corresponding rules come into force.

In exceptional cases, if the feeling of pain and bleeding during intimacy does not stop, you should consult with specialists: a rabbi, a doctor, to find out whether there is physiological incompatibility between these spouses. However, let's hope this doesn't happen.

When visiting a mikvah regularly, it is possible that the time for immersion falls on the night of a Sabbath or holiday, or their outcome. Here you need to keep in mind a number of nuances.

If you happen to take the plunge on Saturday night, all preparation must be completed on Friday - this is an additional load on the eve of Saturday! However, the thought that holy unity will take place on a holy day gives enough strength and energy to fit everything into the short hours of daylight and get everything done! You need to find out when the mikvah is open in a given place on Saturday. If it opens before dark, you can go there in advance, having agreed with your husband that he will light the Shabbat candles this time. If the mikvah opens an hour after lighting the candles, then you need to go there ready and light, without carrying anything extra, including money.

In the mikveh, you should look around yourself again and take a dip, without taking a shower before. After leaving the water, they dry themselves carefully without squeezing out their hair. Of course, the hairdryer cannot be turned on.

If the time for immersion falls on the end of Shabbat or a holiday, then the main preparation should be carried out on Friday or the eve of the holiday, but not on Shabbat or the holiday itself. Then, before the mikvah, all that remains is to rinse in the shower, comb your hair, brush your teeth and examine yourself to see if there is anything unnecessary on your body.

If there was no opportunity to prepare the day before, then the entire procedure from start to finish is performed after the stars come out. On the night of the outcome of the Sabbath or holiday, the mikvah is usually opened an hour after the Havdalah for 2–3 hours.

Particularly difficult is the case when you need to plunge into the night between two holidays or, even more so, with the onset of Saturday after two days of the holiday. Here you need to have time to swim, comb your hair, cut your nails and brush your teeth before dark, before the holiday. In the time remaining before going to the mikvah - a day or two - you need to take care that your hair does not get tangled (for long-haired and curly-haired people this is a problem and a reason to contact a rabbi) and that nothing sticks to your hands - in case of contact with something sticky or painters should wash their hands immediately.

Under any circumstances, whether you like it or not, postponing the time of immersion to another day is prohibited. And, of course, a husband and wife do not have the right, having quarreled, to “punish” each other by postponing visiting the mikvah. This behavior is like playing with fire and is extremely harmful and dangerous for the family. We need to hurry up with reconciliation in order to return to the mikveh good location to each other.

The exception is the case when the husband is away and must return a few days after the due dipping time. Then the trip to the mikvah should be postponed until the day of the husband’s arrival or the night before his return.

When a woman returns from the mikvah in purity and holiness and is left alone at home, she is in danger: the forces of uncleanness are disappointed that she has left their camp and are ready to attack. These are not “old wives’ tales,” but information that has come to us from the sages of the past, experts in Kabbalah.

To protect herself when going to bed, a woman should put something from her husband’s clothing, such as a jacket, next to her. In addition, you need to put a knife under the pillow. Of course, there must be working, kosher mezuzahs on all doors, and holy books in the rooms.

Similar precautions are taken at other life-changing moments. Thus, the bride and groom are not allowed to go anywhere alone in the week before the wedding, but must be accompanied by one of their relatives or friends for protection. A pregnant woman who is close to her due date should not be left alone in the house. And a newborn baby should be protected from strangers for at least a month.

From here we can draw the conclusion suggested by our sages: The blessing of the Almighty fills those holy phenomena and our actions that are hidden from prying eyes and ears. The sacrament of love, the sacrament of birth must be shrouded in a veil of modesty, cherished by our careful and reverent guard.

Modesty

It is known that modesty is decorative. And even more than that: the paths of modesty lead to holiness and righteousness. The most striking thing is that worthy behavior not only improves and elevates a person, but also affects the character of his children; but they say that character is destiny...

How much awe and excitement we should feel before the greatness of the moment of the creation of a new person! After all, each of us has three parents - father and mother, who build the body, and the Almighty, who chooses a suitable soul for this body. In the commandment “be fruitful and multiply” our connection with the Creator of the world is most clearly felt.

Our sages say that even spouses who cannot have children, or the elderly, should not neglect intimacy, since from their union angels are born!

For reasons of modesty, they do not enter into intimacy in the light - natural or artificial. You should curtain the windows or cover yourself completely with a blanket, even when the room is illuminated by the bright light of the Moon. But neither the husband nor the wife, even if very modest, should remain clothed during intimacy. According to Kabbalah, spouses must be naked so that no barrier separates their bodies, as it is said in the Torah: “And he will cleave to his wife; and they will become one flesh.” So the tales of the “sheet with a hole” have the same origin as the blood libel.

They also do not enter into intimacy in the presence of holy books and objects - the Torah, prayer books, tefillin. They must first be covered with something or hidden in a closed cabinet.

And, of course, you cannot enter into intimacy in the presence of a awake person, even without attracting his attention, even if this Small child. If other people in this room are sleeping, intimacy is allowed.

Intimate relationships should always take place in an atmosphere of complete privacy, so that nothing distracts the spouses from each other and extraneous thoughts and conversations do not disturb the harmony of unity.

When preparing for intimacy, a person should think that he is fulfilling the commandment “love your neighbor as yourself.” A husband should treat his wife kindly, with love, say pleasant things to her, strive not so much to satisfy his passion as to bring pleasure and joy to his wife.

Our sages said: “What should a man do so that his sons are rich and live long? He must fulfill the will of Heaven and the desires of his wife.” What is Heaven's will? - Good deeds, helping the poor, etc. What are the wife's desires? - This is the joy of intimacy with her husband - from his showing signs of attention and love for her, tender words, to the most passionately desired moment of merging. By fulfilling intimacy as a commandment, connecting bodies and thoughts, spouses attract the Divine presence and endow their future offspring with a high soul and such character traits as dignity and honesty, righteousness and sensitivity.

When performing marital duties, the mood and direction of a person’s thoughts are important. There are four levels here.

1) Fulfillment of two commandments at once - love for one’s neighbor and procreation. This is the truest intention.

2) Intimacy during the wife's pregnancy. It is interesting that the character of the unborn child is influenced not only by the circumstances of conception, but also by subsequent intimate relationships throughout pregnancy, when much can be corrected and improved by directing thoughts during intimacy to the sacred. Jewish tradition says that marital intimacy in the first three months of pregnancy has a negative effect on mother and child; in the second trimester - difficult for the mother and good for the child; in the third, it is favorable for both mother and child.

3) If a husband notices that his wife is dressing up and adorning herself, trying to attract his attention, expressing his desire not with words, but with his eyes, smile, heart - then entering into intimacy with her is very holy cause, especially if the husband is going on a business trip that day.

4) Intimacy caused by the passionate desire of the husband. In this case, when uniting with his wife, the husband is protected from sin - from thoughts of communication with other women or the vain outpouring of semen. This level is also good, but not as good as the first three. We can call the three previous stages altruistic, dictated by concern for one’s neighbor, while the fourth stage is rather selfish. But, in any case, when a person is satisfied with what is permitted and does not strive for what is prohibited, his intention is correct.

Since the soul of a child is born, so to speak, from the thoughts of the parents, one must be very careful to avoid unpleasant consequences.

The Talmud lists 9 prohibited cases of intimacy between spouses, as a result of which children with evil inclinations can be conceived. Of course, such children will not necessarily become bandits and criminals - after all, there is always freedom to choose actions. But their natural inclinations towards evil will be strong, and it will be much more difficult for them than for other people to “stay afloat” - that is, to remain righteous, honest and conscientious.

1) Against the wishes of the wife

2) If the husband hates his wife

3) If the husband or wife is excommunicated from the community

4) Substitution - if the husband, when intimate with his wife, thinks that he is connecting with another woman.

5) If the wife does not want to stay married

6) When intoxicated or in a dream

7) If the husband is thinking about divorcing his wife

8) Confusion - if during intimacy the husband or wife also thinks about other partners

9) If the wife openly - in words - demands intimacy.

Let's make some clarifications.

1) It is not at all Jewish to show violence towards your wife - she is not a slave and not a thing. You should first gently persuade her, attracting her with pleasant words and signs of love.

2) Things that cause disgust and hostility are prohibited for consumption in general. For example, a person should not eat food that is unpleasant to him in appearance and taste, even if it is objectively healthy. It is even more absurd to extinguish dislike for your wife by having sexual intercourse with her. First, calm down and make peace! If the husband, although he does not really love his wife, does not hate her, intimacy between them is allowed.

3) Excommunication from the community rarely happens in our time. But this prohibition comes into force when one of the spouses is in seven-day mourning (God forbid) for close relatives.

4) This sin increases if, during intimacy with his wife, the husband thinks about a non-Jew.

5) This is no longer love, but debauchery. The exception is the case when the wife receives such pleasure from intimacy that she changes her mind about leaving her husband.

6) If one of the spouses is drunk to the point of “mindlessness” or sleeps, then how will their love manifest itself? However, drinking a little is not prohibited. Only the bride and groom should remain sober on their wedding day, so that on their first night their consciousness would be clear, feelings fresh and love true.

7) If a husband is thinking about divorce, then his intimacy with his wife is deceit and betrayal towards her - after all, she does not know his intentions.

8) To avoid “confusion” in thoughts, you should not talk about strangers and things before intimacy, watch films and entertainment programs. Even the voices of passersby outside the window can interfere.

9) If a woman brazenly, without hesitation, expresses her desire in words, this is a sign of bad taste and bad character. However, a wife can allegorically, with hints, attract her husband’s attention by dressing up and decorating for him.

The listed rules are not “aerobatics” or “super-fanaticism”, but examples of decent behavior that are mandatory in Everyday life and adorning every Jew and Jewess.

As a reward for their efforts, G-d gives parents wonderful, beautiful children!

Be fruitful and multiply

The commandment about procreation - “Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it” - is the very first in the Torah. In essence, this is not only a command, but also a blessing - endowment with the strength and opportunity to fulfill the Divine task, as well as to participate in creativity of the highest level.

Therefore, every man, as an active member of society, is obliged to marry and bring new souls into the world. If he avoids or postpones marriage, he neglects cooperation with the Almighty and hinders His higher goal - a more complete revelation of the Divine Image.

A woman, unlike a man, is not obliged to start a family. She only has the right to agree to a man’s proposal to become his wife and mother of his children. However, the lack of obligation in this God's case generously compensated not just with desire, but with a passionate thirst for motherhood.

The birth of a new generation is a window to eternity. What we inherited from our parents and ancestors, we send further - into the future. (This is probably why we want our children to be better and more successful than us.)

But how many children there should be is a difficult question.

The sages say that the minimum for fulfilling the commandment “Be fruitful and multiply” is a son and a daughter. There is an opinion that it is necessary to have at least two sons and a daughter. This means that in a family with seven boys, the commandment has not yet been fulfilled, and we must continue to try until a girl is born. And, accordingly, vice versa.

By the way, they say that seven sons in a row is already a reserved place in heaven. The number of daughters that provides a ticket to heavenly life, alas, is not given to us to know. But it is known that the birth of a son brings peace to the home, and the birth of a daughter brings blessing.

As for the hardships of raising children, this portion is predetermined for everyone from Above. Our only choice is whether to share it among ten, or taste it to the fullest with our only child. As one mother of many children said: “It doesn’t matter how many children there are: two, three or seven. In any case, you give them your whole self - all your heart, all your soul, all the time.”

And, on the other hand, suffering and effort are then rewarded with the full measure of parental happiness from children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren.

As long as a woman is still able to become a mother, motherhood is her main profession and purpose, just as it is for Chava - the wife of the first man, the mother of all living things. All other details recede into the background - work and career, age (too young or vice versa), education, financial situation, etc.

The sages say that a child is born with his own piece of bread in his hand - and not only for himself, but for the whole family. The Almighty does not leave any creation with His attention, providing for the needs of every soul.

How many times have I heard from older women: “If I could live my life again, I would give birth to many children!” It would only be nice to think about this in time, when our desires coincide with our capabilities!

If a woman’s health may be affected by a new pregnancy, it is necessary to resolve the situation with specialists - a doctor and a rabbi - to determine which contraceptives can be used and for how long.

First of all, Torah law prohibits the vain shedding of semen, equating it to bloodshed. This is a very serious sin, entailing severe punishment - karet. Therefore, a man cannot use condoms. The entire responsibility of choice falls on the woman.

When talking with a gynecologist, you must keep in mind that not every doctor will tell the truth about birth control. They will offer a young woman pills, keeping silent about the fact that in 20 - 30 years they will cause her to suffer serious illnesses - who thinks about health that far ahead, and who will then find that doctor to collect from him?

In addition, the use of certain products disrupts the natural monthly cycle, causing frequent bleeding and discharge, which can, in combination with the Jewish tradition of family purity, reduce the frequency of intimacy to zero (which will 100% prevent pregnancy!). Well, who needs it?

Surgery that results in infertility in a man or woman is condemned by the Torah as mutilation. How scary it is to make a fateful decision forever, irreversibly!

It is much more acceptable to listen to the internal rhythm of the women's calendar.

We have already compared the husband with the Sun, and the wife with the Moon. Like the Sun, which daily warms our planet with its rays, a man is able to give seed at any time. A woman is like the Moon, reaching perfection at the full moon. The period when you can get pregnant is very short: 1-2 days at the time of ovulation. If this time is missed, then pregnancy will not occur.

Once again: the decision to temporarily evade the creation of new life must be balanced and deliberate, made in accordance with Jewish Law, and may the Lord protect us from troubles!

Children

Let's remember our childhood. A little girl plays “mother and daughter”. She loves her dolls - from tiny naked baby dolls to a “princess” taller than her. Fiddling with dolls, bathing and changing them, “feeding” and walking them, carrying and raising them is not just a game. Unbeknownst to herself, the girl acquires the skill of motherhood and a stable type of behavior. Growing up, she can direct her impulses towards people close to her. (Caution! Not on your husband! A husband is not a child).

Happy is she who finds her family and is blessed with her own living doll - a baby. How much strength, soul, warmth and love a mother is ready to give to her child! And on the other hand - what a coincidence - the child accepts all this abundance with joy and gratitude, giving in return an increase in height and weight, smiles, first steps, etc.

Problems begin when the child grows up a little. He is already striving for independence, but his mother still sees him as a “sucker.” This is where a new addition to the family comes in handy - new baby. All the accumulated tenderness will be poured out on him, and the elder will receive his share of the necessary freedom.

If this does not happen, the mother-child relationship may worsen, causing a riot of protest, a break; or - the other extreme - a mama's son will remain in his mother's skirt until his gray hair, firmly entering the role of a child.

Yes, a woman needs to nurse - it’s her nature. Our sages say that more than the calf wants to suckle, the cow wants to feed it.

Therefore, the Almighty granted a woman this right - to give birth again and again, experiencing the inspiration of creativity, expecting happy changes, gaining new hopes and dreams!

In fact, how long do we have our children? About 12 - 13 years old or a little more. Children grow up irreversibly, and the psychological “umbilical cord” is finally cut. And even while staying at home, and even more so when leaving to study in another city, the teenager now prefers the company of his peers rather than his parents.

It suddenly becomes so empty, so missing the baby... And how happy is a mother who can switch from her youngest child to her eldest grandson!

At this time, as indeed always, we are in dire need of support from Heaven. The Talmud advises us what to pray for - in accordance with the age of the future person.

In the first three days after the commanded intimacy, they ask for the pregnancy to take place - that is, for the fertilized egg to take root in its place in the wall of the uterus.

From three to forty days of pregnancy, you can ask that the child be born of the desired sex, since this issue is resolved precisely on the fortieth day. Requests submitted late will not be considered.

From 40 days to 3 months, they ask that all the child’s organs form and develop properly, so that everything is in place, good and okay.

From 3 to 6 months they ask for the pregnancy to proceed safely and not be interrupted by a miscarriage.

From 6 to 9 months they ask that the child come into our world in peace, healthy and beautiful, so that the birth is easy and successful.

We believe that human health and life are in the hand of G-d. And, at the same time, we trust the doctor, to whom the Almighty has given the right to treat (knowledge, talent, and tools). Tradition says that the doctor’s hand is guided by an angel, and behind the back of a real specialist stands the angel Rephael himself.

On the other hand, the Talmud says that “the best of doctors is on the road to hell”! (If he attributes his successes solely to his own merits, rejecting the help of Heaven.) Therefore, medical intervention should be treated wisely, namely:

Choose a doctor known to be patient-friendly

When following the doctor’s instructions, taking medications, etc., pray to G-d that these means and efforts will really help

Keep in mind that not all tests and examinations are timely and mandatory. Thus, the sages of our generation do not advise doing an ultrasound examination at an early stage of pregnancy. A number of studies are done only for statistics and not every woman needs it. And some tests, for example, the study of amniotic fluid, are harmful and even dangerous.

There were many cases when doctors and their electronic machines made mistakes in diagnoses, predicted evil, and the child was born healthy. So let us remember: the doctor is given the right to treat, but not to pass judgment! And let’s direct our thoughts towards good - as the sages taught: “Think well - it will be good!”

Childbirth

Exciting days are approaching - the expected due date is already “seen on the horizon.” At this time, a woman especially needs support - both physical and psychological (especially!). Therefore, it is advisable that the expectant mother not be left alone.

During the entire nine months of pregnancy, a woman usually does not bleed. (if, nevertheless, an “emergency” occurs, you need to consult a doctor, and also do everything that “nida” does in a normal case). All this time we enjoy the state of “taara” without interruption. The day of birth becomes a new turn in fate. The child is born in blood, plunging its mother into a state of nida. How can it be that the glorious feat of birth ends in spiritual impurity - “tuma”?

The fact is that the Divine Presence itself dwells above the head of the woman in labor. The Almighty has three keys, which he does not trust to anyone, disposing of them himself: the key of birth, the key of rain, the key of awakening the dead. At the moment of childbirth, a woman is surrounded by such a dazzling radiance of holiness that as soon as the baby is born and the Divinity ascends back to the upper worlds, the resulting vacuum is immediately filled with forces of the opposite sign, i.e. "tuma". Moreover, the amount of holiness and, accordingly, after that, “tumya” depends on the gender of the newborn. So, if a boy is born, the power of “uncleanness” lasts a week, and if a girl is born, then two weeks. After all, a tiny baby in the future is also a potential mother, and for her sake the portion of Holiness was doubled.

When the bleeding stops, the woman in labor must count seven clean days and immerse herself in the mikveh. According to the letter of the law, this is possible two weeks after childbirth, but practically immersion is postponed for one and a half to two months, when the woman is strong enough. Around this time, a check is scheduled with a gynecologist, who also gives the go-ahead.

Once again the woman enters a long period of purity. It lasts longer the longer breastfeeding continues (the Torah recommends up to two years!). This refers to the period of complete feeding, without any additives.

Helpful Tips:

1. wash the hands of the newborn (and his mother) as early as possible to prevent infant jaundice. You can ask a midwife or someone close to you for help.

2. as early as possible, immediately in the maternity ward, give the baby a breast, and the left one at that! The first food and the first love come straight from the heart!

Cycles

If a young woman is not pregnant or lactating, then she regularly experiences monthly bleeding. Every woman knows her “lunar phases” and has a rough idea of ​​when her next menstruation will come. But Jewish tradition requires clear knowledge and strict arithmetic calculations, protecting spouses from accidentally breaking the law.

Sometimes the female body works “like a clock”; periods begin at the same time. This cycle is called permanent (“ves kavua”) and is rare. In most cases, the cycle is inconsistent (“wesets sheeino kavua”).

So, we need a special calendar for our schedule. First of all, let us agree that the dates in it correspond to Jewish numbers and months. The Jewish calendar is more natural and accurate than the usual Gregorian calendar.

First, let's note the date of the previous menstruation. It also matters whether it started during the day or at night. Let us remember that “day” is the time from dawn to sunset, and “night” is from sunset to dawn.

If the cycle is not constant, we consider three options to determine the time of subsequent menstruation.

1 - day of the month: it is possible that menstruation will begin on the same day and hour (i.e. day or night) as the previous one.

2 - “average” period (“she beynonite”) is the thirtieth day from the beginning of the previous menstruation, counting from the first day. In this case, the appearance of blood is expected for a full day, from sunset to sunset.

3 - interval (“aflag”) - the number of days from the end of the previous menstruation to the beginning of the last (Hence, we need data here for the past two months).

We mark all three options in our calendar, using colored stickers, multi-colored pencils, etc.; indicating "day" or "night" respectively. These may be three different dates, or it may be that two marks will coincide, and the third will be at some distance.

With the onset of the intended date, spouses should move away from each other, refrain from intimacy and, preferably, from hugs and kisses. (There is an opinion that intimacy during the “time of waiting” is dangerous because it can “thwart” the emerging pregnancy.)

At the end of the period (that “night”, or that “day”, or that day - with the average period), the woman must do a check (as during the seven clean days). If the test is “clean” and menstruation has not occurred, further marital intimacy is allowed.

From the beginning of pregnancy, they continue to celebrate and observe the days of estrangement also in the second and third months according to the “day of the month”. After this, the woman becomes “mesuleket damim” - i.e. “far from blood”, she should no longer have bleeding until the birth itself, may her body be healthy and strong!

The same status - “mesuleket damim” - is given to both a nursing mother and a woman who has passed the menopause.

A special place in the laws of family purity is occupied by “spots” of suspicious color - i.e. dried traces of vaginal discharge found on underwear or bed linen without any accompanying sensations. Such a “find” is always unexpected. If we “searched for it intentionally” - for example, we performed the required check of seven clean days or, having felt the expiration of something wet, examined the linen and found a colored discharge - the law is much stricter. An “unclean” color is fraught with “nida”.

On clear days, a spot can disturb our positions only under the following conditions:

It was found on a white cloth

It's not a kosher color.

It has a circle area with a diameter of at least 19 mm. (Several small, free-standing specks do not add up together.)

Consequently, a spot of pure color (green, blue, yellow) on a colored fabric does not bother us at all. Hence the rabbis' recommendations: wear colored underwear on clean days, do not look at toilet paper after use, and do not look for trouble on your own. Even if a harmful stain spoils joy and shortens the days of intimacy, it will still not change anything in the personal calendar. You will have to mark its appearance on the table (in a separate color), but the calculation of periods of waiting for menstruation will continue as before.

Instead of a conclusion, let's go back to the beginning.

Mazal Tov! Bride and groom, husband and wife. In your hands is the tender sprout of the future of the family. It must be watered and protected from wind and cold. Let the concept of “family” become the highest value for you and the standard by which you will measure your steps and actions.

There are not necessarily only cloudless days and serene happiness ahead. And who can promise that it will always be easy? On the contrary, there is hard work ahead of cultivating your family’s garden - to the point of exhaustion, to the point of complete dedication. But according to work comes reward!

These days, there are more and more disposable items in our environment, from dishes to cameras. Things depreciate in value, we throw them away and replace them without regret.

This habit leads to the fact that in some families a similar attitude is transferred to the spouse. But a husband or wife is not a one-time drink! Imagine that you received a family jewel, which was passed down from generation to generation from century to century until it fell into your hands. You will protect your property with trepidation and delight and hide it under glass from the hands of others. Treat your spouse the same way! Even if before the wedding he/she is seen “this way”, and after the wedding a little differently, the freedom to choose a life partner is already over. Now everyone has what he has: what the Almighty has prepared for him; what is his true mate, his exact complement, what he deserves and what will help him fully reveal the beauty and abilities of his soul. This, only this spouse, with all his pros and cons, this is your betrothed (what forgotten word!). However, the disadvantages are just the flip side of the advantages. And if we learn to value each other and our family, then we will be able to pass on the same attitude to our children. And then they, too, and then their children, will have strong families, for the glory of it!

Such is marital love. Actually, we love ourselves most of all. But if we give a part of ourselves to the closest and dearest person - our spouse; give time after time, day after day, then, undoubtedly, this “our” part in “him” will evoke and nourish an ever-growing love for him - for that “neighbor” whom we must “love” as ourselves - to the fullest washing away boundaries and feeling like a single entity with him.

According to the Torah, a woman has an advantage over a man. The Creator gave her an exceptional property - “bina ethera” - deeper understanding, or “super intuition”. Armed with this tool, the wife builds her house - “bona” and raises “banim” - children in it (“bona”, “bina”, “banim” are related words).

Our sages say that feminine wisdom builds a house, but foolishness destroys it. Let our building truly be a building for centuries, and let both household members and guests be comfortable in it!

Dedicated of blessed memory my mother-in-law Maria Zelikovna Pavlovetskaya

Jewish women in the works of A. P. Chekhov

Alina Polonskaya

Jewish images are quite rare in Russian classical prose and poetry, especially in comparison with other European literature, the influence of which on Russian literature is beyond doubt. At the same time, as in European literatures, women's and men's images perform different tasks.

The image of a male Jew in the works of Russian classics (an old, vile, caricatured villain, a spy and a money lender) was transferred to Russian soil from Western European and Polish literature. Such are Pushkin’s heroes from “The Black Shawl” and “ The Stingy Knight", Yankel from Gogol's Taras Bulba and Turgenev's The Jew.

It is the male Jewish character who traditionally reflects the problems of coexistence between Jews and Christians.

The Jewish woman in the works of Russian writers is usually young and beautiful. Her attractiveness is exotic, her attractiveness is mysterious, sometimes of a mystical nature.

Female Jewish images are primarily associated with the study of the theme of love and passion (and in this, Russian authors follow the European tradition). Sometimes they are similar to the beautiful and virtuous heroines of the Bible, as, for example, in Turgenev’s sentimental story “The Unhappy” (1868), where the love story of Susanna Ivanovna almost in detail reproduces the romantic plot of Rebecca - Ivanhoe by Walter Scott, which the heroine herself repeatedly reminds the reader of.

Fragment of the title page from Jean Richepin's novel "The Sticky".

Later, the image of a fatal Jewish woman appears, evoking a vicious and destructive passion. The image of a fatal woman in general and a fatal Jewish woman in particular came to Russian literature from French. An interesting fact is that, despite the close contacts between Russian and French literature, it took a long time to take root on Russian soil. Perhaps the impetus for creating such an image should have been the author’s personal acquaintance with his prototype, as happened with A.P. Chekhov.

His story “Tina” (1886) can be considered the first attempt at depicting a Jewish heroine in Russian literature, perfect in the tradition of realism. For the second time, a Jewish heroine appears in the play “Ivanov” by the same author (1st edition - 1887, 2nd edition - 1889), and these two characters remain the only ones in Russian literature for a long time, except for the works of peripheral anti-Semitic authors forgotten today , such as Vsevolod Krestovsky or Nikolai Petrovich Wagner.

In “Tina,” a provincial Russified Jew, the daughter of a wealthy vodka factory owner, Susanna Moiseevna, shamelessly uses feminine charm to deceive her creditors. So, she tears up the bill of exchange of the young lieutenant Sokolsky, who needs money for marriage, and seduces him. The next morning, the groom returns to the estate of Kryukov’s older brother with nothing. Full of indignation, Kryukov goes to her and... he himself falls into the same net. At the end of the story, the author reveals the power of the erotic attraction of this provincial “Queen Tamara” when Kryukov decides to go to Susanna to “refresh” for the second time and finds her visiting the entire male society of the provincial town, including his younger brother, who told him, that he went to his bride.

It is not surprising that many representatives of the Russian intelligentsia - Korolenko, for example - considered this story anti-Semitic and therefore unworthy of attention. The reaction of the Jewish press is understandable:

The author […] does not give any explanation for either her debauchery or her greed, hoping that, given the prevailing view of Jews in a certain part of our press and in a certain area of ​​our society, such a Jewess will pass at face value […] Between Thus, anyone more or less familiar with the Jewish environment [...] on the basis of serious and impartial observations of life itself can assure Mr. Chekhov that [...] this Susanna is simply a lie and stupidity.

In the context of the era it was believed that literary work designed to truthfully depict life in order to influence the minds and actions of people. The Jewish community, in turn, accepted responsibility for the unseemly actions of each member of their community. The existence of at least one literary Susanna Moiseevna cast a shadow over the entire people and could even threaten their safety.

From a modern perspective, when we no longer perceive the dishonest behavior of a literary character of Jewish nationality as a manifestation of the anti-Semitism of its author, the story “Tina” still looks not alien to anti-Semitic sentiments. The storyline itself - the daughter of the owner of a distillery robs creditors - is too consistent with the anti-Semitic myth that Jews are drunkenness of the Russian people to attribute this to an innocent author's fantasy.

Susanna tells the lieutenant about her love for Russians and everything Russian, about the preference of men for women, especially Jewish women. These “confessions” intrigue and fascinate Sokolsky, and then the second victim - his married brother.

...I absolutely don’t understand how a decent person can live with a woman? […] I have never seen a single tolerable woman in my life […] I love myself very much, but when I am reminded that I am a woman, I begin to hate myself.

After the Jews, I love no one as much as the Russians and the French. I didn’t study well in high school and I don’t know history, but it seems to me that the fate of the earth is in the hands of these two peoples […] You, of course, don’t like Jews... I don’t argue, there are many shortcomings, like any nation. But are the Jews to blame? No, it is not the Jews who are to blame, but the Jewish women! […] You have never lived with a Jewish woman and you don’t know what a charm she is!

Susanna’s “revelations” reveal not only the tricks of a fatal seductress, expressing a paradoxical attitude towards her sex in the mouth of a woman (and flattering for a man), but also the tricks of an assimilated Jewish woman, striving to win the trust of a Russian man, talking about the shortcomings of Jewish women.

Susanna appears as a femme fatale, dangerous to all men, and a Jew, dangerous to all Russians.

The Russification of Susanna is extremely interesting for the author. At the beginning of the story, the lieutenant searches in vain for something “properly Jewish” in the furnishings of Susanna’s house, although he notes that Susanna burrs the sound “r.” The hostess of the house first of all hastens to assure the guest that her house does not smell of garlic, because she does not store it “even in the cellar.” She boasts that she goes to church, where she saw the lieutenant’s elder brother: “Everyone has one G-d. For an educated person, appearance is not as important as the idea..."

Thus, a parallel involuntarily arises between her and assimilated Russian Jewry, which also “loves” Russians and French, but in fact is incredibly dangerous, according to Chekhov, for Russian society.

The author of the article in Voskhod doubts that Chekhov could have observed Susanna in reality. However, it turned out that this character had a real prototype. After the banknotes were restored in Chekhov’s correspondence in 1960, it became known about his affair in January-February 1886 with the daughter of a Moscow lawyer Evdokia Isaakovna Efros (1861–1943), or “Efros with a nose,” as Anton Pavlovich jokingly called her. By the way, this very nose, that is, a national sign, is the first characteristic of Susanna:

In a chair […] sat a woman […] with her head wrapped up. Because of the knitted woolen scarf, only a pale long nose with a sharp tip and a small hump and one large black eye were visible.

Most likely, as Elena Tolstaya points out in her book “The Poetics of Irritation,” one of the quarrels of young people on October 29, 1886 occurred precisely as a result of the publication of “Tina” in “New Time.” Apparently, the girl was not only offended by the anti-Semitic tone of the story, she recognized her own traits in the heroine. Chekhov gave the story to actress Karatygina with a note: “copied from a living person.”

Despite the fact that we do not have detailed biographical information about Evdokia Efros, however, together with Elena Tolstaya, we are inclined to believe that the behavior of the Moscow educated young lady, who, together with Anton Pavlovich’s sister, attended Guerrier’s private pedagogical courses, could hardly have much in common with the actions of provincial hetaera.

The plot outline and the very title of the story refer to Jean Richepin’s novel La Glu, written in 1881. The type of sexually attractive vulgar woman who destroys men is generally quite common in French literature of the late 19th century. “Nana” (1879) by Zola is perhaps the most striking example of such a heroine. Often this role was played by a Jewish woman, which, however, does not apply to the heroine of “Glue”.

But half-Jewish was Sarah Bernhardt, who began an affair with Richpin during a rehearsal of the play “Sticky.” Forty-year-old Sarah Bernhardt once again confirmed her reputation as a fatal woman on stage and in life, and 35-year-old Richpin abandoned his young wife and child. It is not surprising that reporters were quick to point out the similarities between the events in Richepin’s personal life and the plot of the novel he wrote.

Thus, it was French literature rather than Chekhov’s personal experience that suggested to him a certain “characteristic” image of a given nationality and a given model of behavior.

But why was it “written off alive” and what, other than her Jewish origin, did Dunya Efros deserve such an unflattering literary embodiment?

Most likely, Susanna's closeness to Russian culture and her love for Russians (presented by Chekhov in a caricature form) could be characteristic of his ex-fiancée, an assimilated Moscow Jew. And it was precisely this, along with the anti-Semitic tone of the story, that could have offended the girl and been taken personally by her.

“There was Efros now. I angered her by saying that Jewish youth were not worth a penny; I got offended and left,” Chekhov writes to Kiseleva on the day “Tina” was published.

However, we leave open question about the extent to which the stereotypical idea of ​​the depraved Jewish femme fatale, existing in French literature and shared by Russian anti-Semites, could have influenced the imagination of the author who saw Susanna in Duna Efros.

Let's move on to the play "Ivanov", the first version of which was written in 1887, during the period of depression of the author, according to Elena Tolstoy, largely caused by the break of the engagement with Dunya.

It was this year that the familiar “Chekhovian melancholy” was born in Chekhov’s works, and the writer fell ill with consumption...

Ivanov is a 35-year-old provincial landowner, consumed by boredom and melancholy on his estate. Once he was young and energetic, but now he became angry and irritable.

He lost interest in his wife, baptized Jew Anna Petrovna, formerly Sarah. Sick of tuberculosis, Anna does not understand the reason for this change; she still loves her husband, languishes alone and eventually dies.

Ivanov recognizes his guilt, but he can’t help himself, he’s disgusted with himself. The 20-year-old daughter of his friend Lebedev, Sashenka, is in love with him. Ivanov’s romance with Sashenka develops against the backdrop of his wife’s illness, and this makes some of the characters in the play think that Ivanov married Sarah for money, and when her parents refuse to forgive her for converting to another faith, he decides to take her to the grave and marry a rich heiress Sashenka.

In fact, Ivanov is an honest man, he himself suffers from the change that has happened to him. In the first version of the play, called a “comedy,” he dies during his wedding with Sashenka and shoots himself - in the second version.

As Chekhov himself explains in a letter to Suvorin dated January 7, 1889, with his “Ivanov” he “cherished the daring dream of summing up everything that had hitherto been written about aching and melancholy people, and putting an end to these writings.” Ivanov, according to Chekhov and from the words of Korolenko, is “Ivan Ivanovich Ivanov […] the most ordinary person” and embodies “only typical Russian traits”, such as “excessive excitability, feelings of guilt, fatigue”: they lead to tragic ending.

One of the climactic moments of the play is the dialogue between Ivanov and Anna Petrovna at the end of the third act, where he shouts to his sick wife: “Shut up, Jew!”

Zeev Jabotinsky, in his article “Russian Weasel” (1909), characterized this remark as a manifestation of “truthful indifference” on the part of the author. However, this is not so: it is these words, after which Ivanov reveals to his wife that she is terminally ill, that show us the depth of Ivanov’s fall and make the viewer hate him at this moment.

The touching image of the dying and loving Anna Petrovna at first glance is certainly positive. However, it is not without some specifically Jewish everyday earthiness, which is especially noticeable in the first, “comedy” version of the play. Despite sincere sympathy for her heroine, the author inserts anecdotal remarks about her nationality, which, however, do not come from her husband, Ivanov, but from his relative Count Shchabelsky. In particular, the first version mentions the smell of garlic (“A Semitic, stale carcass that smells like garlic for ten miles away” [act I, scene II]. Even the censor considered it necessary to cross out this remark from Shchabelsky, which was then done by the author himself in in the second version of the play. Where in the second version Shchabelsky says to Anna: “Good night, lovely!” - in the first version he says instead: “Gevalt... Vey mir... Peh” [Act I, Rev. take into account that Shchabelsky is sincerely attached to Anna Petrovna). In both versions of the play, the heroine is characterized by commercial terminology when she talks about her unhappy female fate:

N. N. Litovtseva as Anna Petrovna (Sarah).

...fate shortchanged me. A lot of people […] don't pay anything for their happiness. I paid for everything, absolutely everything!.. And how expensive! Why charge me such terrible interest?..

Ivanov’s famous remark “Shut up, Jew!..” is also uttered by him in response to his wife’s accusation that he married her for money. However, other characters of the play, of non-Semitic origin, are also convinced of this.

Chekhov, in a letter to Suvorin dated December 30, 1888, notes that his wife does not understand Ivanov’s “melancholy” and therefore “at the end of the 3rd act she speaks out directly and sharply.”

However, in the process of preparing the second version of the play, the author chose a different interpretation. He, on the contrary, emphasizes that Anna is quite capable of understanding Ivanov:

Yearning? I understand, I understand... […] let's go sit in your office, in the dark, as before, and you will tell me about your melancholy... You have such pained eyes! I will look at them and cry, and it will become easier for both of us... (Laughs and cries.)

Nevertheless, Chekhov did not consider Anna Petrovna a suitable match for his hero:

Women<Анна Петровна и Сашенька>are not needed in my play. My main concern was not to let the women cloud the center of gravity that sits outside them. If I managed to make them beautiful, then I would consider my task in relation to them completely completed. Women participated in the death of Ivanov... So what? Is it really necessary to explain this participation at length? Which is understandable and has already been interpreted a thousand times before me?

We can consider the plot of “Ivanov” as a possible option for the development of the relationship between Chekhov and Dunya in the event that their wedding did take place. Apparently, this did not happen because she did not want to convert to Orthodoxy. But this marriage, according to Chekhov, was doomed to failure in any case:

If a rich Jew has enough courage to accept Orthodoxy with all the consequences - okay, not enough - and there’s no need... And besides, we’ve already quarreled [...] She’s a terrible woman... That I’ll divorce her 1-2 years after the wedding is certain.

Akihito Okuno (left) and Momoe Tateno in the play “Ivanov” directed by Japanese director Tadashi Suzuki. Moscow. 2005 year.

It seems to us that Chekhov’s hesitation in working on the image of Anna Petrovna, the amount of anecdotalism that he still reserves for his heroine, reflects his conflicting feelings towards his ex-fiancee. On the one hand, Chekhov-Ivanov saw his fault in the fact that their marriage would be unhappy. On the other hand, it apparently was even more difficult for him to get rid of anti-Semitic prejudices in life than in his literary work.

I separated from my fiancee to nec plus ultra. Yesterday [...] I complained to her about lack of money, and she said that her Jewish brother drew a three-ruble note so perfectly that the illusion was complete: the maid picked it up and put it in his pocket. That's all. I won’t write to you about her anymore.

The reader has to decide what is dictated here by the writer’s imagination, and what by wounded male pride.

Evdokia Isaakovna Efros outlived her famous lover for many years. She married a Jew and emigrated to France after the revolution. In 1943, she was deported by the Nazis from a Paris nursing home. She died in the Treblinka concentration camp.

The tragic note sounding in Chekhov's “Ivanov” echoed in her fate.

Monthly literary and journalistic magazine and publishing house.

Should a girl who decides to dress in accordance with Torah law completely change her wardrobe? Is it possible to dress modestly and remain fashionable and modern? Can a religious Jew buy clothes in regular stores, or will she have to sew to order and fly to Israel for shopping?

The Torah commanded a woman to follow certain rules in clothing. At the same time, she does not deny beauty and femininity, on the contrary! The wife must be beautiful and please her husband. A beautifully dressed (including) woman is praised in the traditional chant “Eshet Hail”.

Every Jewish woman is a daughter of the King of kings and should be dressed beautifully and appropriately.

According to Torah law

There are not many rules for the Jewish dress code. Here they are:

1. A woman should not wear trousers.
2. Clothing should cover the collarbones, elbows and knees in any position, not tight-fitting and not see-through. Your legs should be wearing tights or knee socks (no thinner than 40 denier).
3. Clothes should not be too bright, catchy, unusual, or overtly sexual. And here there are no clear criteria anymore. Every woman, looking in the mirror, must honestly answer the question of whether her appearance corresponds to the status of a royal daughter.

Modesty dilemma

In the life of a religious Jewish woman there are quite a lot of situations in which she should look the best way. Saturdays, weddings, engagements and other family events, holidays... This lifestyle requires a rich wardrobe.

However, shopping can bring a lot of grief to a religious Jew. It makes no sense for her to even try on most things of modern fashion, they do not correspond to the criteria of the Torah. In the summer, when most things in stores are open, the problem gets worse. And if a woman is tall, finding a skirt that covers the knee is an almost insoluble problem for her. Translucent fabrics, straps, trousers and shorts...

IN last years An entire religious fashion industry has emerged in Israel. Even well-known chains, such as Castro, open specialized stores for religious ones and create separate collections for them.

And yet you can dress beautifully and modestly without even visiting these specialty stores! This is not to say that it is easy, but it is definitely possible! In addition, today it is possible to use the services of a stylist who works with religious women.

Jewish stylist

Miri Beilin was born in America; At the age of eighteen, after getting married, she immigrated to Israel. A year later, she began dressing brides at home, and a year later she opened her own atelier, while simultaneously working as a clothing designer in one of the Italian companies.

“In my atelier, besides myself, there are ten other employees. I myself create the design of the outfits that my atelier sews. At first, I was only involved in sewing outfits for weddings and other celebrations, but clients began asking me to help them create an individual style.

What does the styling process look like? The first step is a telephone conversation, from which I try to find out as much as possible about the woman - her personality, lifestyle, preferences. The second step is a visit to the customer’s home. Here I open the wardrobe and see what suits her, what doesn’t suit her, and what’s missing.

We start with underwear, then move on to clothes. I explain to the client her body type and appearance before she starts shopping. The next stage is a shopping trip, which lasts eight hours.

As a rule, three types of clients come to me: women after childbirth, whose figure has changed; business women who have no time to think about their wardrobe; and girls of marriageable age.”

Recently, Miri has acquired another position - the head of the department at the College of Fashion and Style for Religious.

For Miri, combining fashion and beauty with the rules of the Torah is natural and does not pose a problem. “The origins of beauty are in the Torah,” she asserts. – Self-care and the desire for beauty were inherent in the first woman, Chava, who, after the sin of the Tree of Knowledge, made clothes for herself. It is the Torah that requires a Jew to have special clothing for Saturday, New Moon, and holidays. The Torah requires the husband to buy his wife gifts for each holiday - clothes, jewelry, and so on. And Torah demands from his wife to be beautiful for her husband, to give him pleasure with her appearance, because he is forbidden to even look at other women!”

Modesty and style

“For me this is not a contradiction. I believe that the more covered the clothing is, the more beautiful it makes a woman. Modest clothing makes her not just a woman, but a queen. Modesty is not a limitation, but a frame.

And if I really like something that doesn’t meet the criteria, I can at least think about how to correct this shortcoming. For example, layering is a good solution for things that are too open. For example, you can wear a cardigan, which is so relevant now, on a short-sleeved T-shirt.”

How does a religious woman choose her clothes?

“In general, there are no fundamental differences. A woman is a woman. All women love to dress beautifully. The only difference is that a religious woman, in addition to the quality of the fabric and seams, will check the length of the skirt; in doubtful cases, he will even sit down in it to make sure that it covers his knee. If you plan to wear something without anything on top, check that it does not hug the body, but keeps its shape. In short, it will check whether the item meets the criteria of modesty.”

Sometimes you have to give in

“Yes, yes, sometimes you have to refuse something you like that does not meet the criteria of modesty. For example, wearing a T-shirt under a sundress with straps is ridiculous, and it is better to abandon the sundress. But most things can still be adjusted either through combinations or by making small changes.

I have a whole bag of tricks. For example, a dress that is too open can be corrected by wearing a closed T-shirt underneath. A skirt that is too short will be lengthened by a petticoat with matching trim at the hem. A slightly transparent blouse can be saved by a bodysuit, and a short sleeved jacket or cardigan worn on top.”

Miri believes that in the world of religious fashion in Lately changes are happening. It is becoming more widespread. Stylists are appearing specifically serving the religious sector. In particular, they are being prepared by the college where Miri teaches. And this profession is becoming more and more in demand. While once almost taboo for a religious woman, going to shopping malls has become commonplace. Women realized that most items from “regular” stores could be adapted to their needs.

Meet the Religious Fashionistas

Rachel is a mother of four children, a secretary in a reputable company, a religious Jew and... a fashionista.

“I remember being a fashion lover from the age of five. Even at that age, it was important to me how I looked. I also loved sewing my dolls. My grandmother gave me the scraps.

In high school, I didn't have the money to buy new clothes, so second-hand stores came to the rescue. They helped me look bright, unusual, different from everyone else. I altered buttons on purchased items, selected accessories, beautiful tights; sometimes I had to turn to a dressmaker to remake something that was too open.

- Don't you feel sorry that many fashion trends you cannot wear them because they do not conform to the requirements of the Torah?

No, I don't regret wearing too revealing clothes. I love strict and solid classics. Well, besides, even a woman who does not pay attention to the degree of modesty of clothing cannot wear everything that is in fashion. Some things work, some things don’t. And it is impossible to buy everything that the fashion industry offers.

A religious girl knows from a very young age that she is the daughter of a king, and this is an obligation.

In the end, if I really like something, I will find a way to remake it!

- For example?

For example, once I really liked a chiffon dress in a store - quite closed, but... transparent. I decided to buy it anyway and sew a lining. And I was not mistaken: with the lining the dress looked much better, I received a lot of compliments.

Tips for a fashionista

Decided to dress modestly? Don't know what to do with transparent or too revealing clothes? Don't rush to throw it away!

* Short sleeves or lack thereof can be corrected by wearing a jacket, cardigan or blazer on top.

* You can wear a tight-fitting T-shirt of a suitable color and with a sleeve of the desired length under a dress or short-sleeved blouse. Often, an interesting color combination enhances the final look.

* You can wear a petticoat under a see-through skirt, and a T-shirt under a see-through blouse.

* A short skirt or dress can be lengthened with a striped seam or a peeking out petticoat with an interesting trim along the hem.

Another option is to wear a short dress with a skirt as a tunic.

*Multi-layering is one of the options to save something that is too revealing. But you should be careful with multi-layering. This requires taste and some experience in creating multi-layered images.

Kate Middleton - an icon of style and modesty

Recently, this person has become a role model for religious fashionistas, because the English royal house requires modesty in clothing.

Kate's clothes are always of excellent quality, chosen with excellent taste and once again prove that in order to be beautiful, you don't have to wear revealing clothes. Moreover, closed clothing makes Kate's image sophisticated and aristocratic.

Kate is living proof that if the wife of an ordinary earthly prince can dress modestly, then the daughter of the King of kings, a Jewish woman, should do so all the more. And the fact that famous icon style of dressing in almost complete accordance with the requirements of Jewish law should give us strength in striving to follow this law.