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How to change your life for the better - where to start, advice from psychologists. Re-create yourself: where to start to change your life

Everyone knows the fact that we control life exclusively ourselves. And everything that we have achieved and that we will receive in this life is entirely our merit. Another conclusion follows from this: all the negativity that surrounds us occurred only through our fault and because of our decisions or actions. However, despite our knowledge, it takes a very long time for us to realize that we have the opportunity to change everything. Therefore, in this article we intend to tell and convince you that changing your life for the better is very real, no matter how scary and impossible it may seem.

5 simple steps to change your life and yourself

Our team of authors of the online magazine site believes that there are five main steps to radically change yourself and your life. These are the steps you should start with if you decide to make changes in your life.
In addition, we would like to warn you about the difficulties that you will most likely have to face: they will not understand you, they will advise you to do everything differently, they will possibly try to stop you, and most importantly, you yourself will not particularly resist this, since you will have little faith into the reality of possible better changes. Therefore, before you change your life, believe in yourself, your strengths, and most importantly, in your final success!

So, steps to a better life:
  1. Imagine an imaginary better future and make a detailed plan to make it happen. Any change needs to start with a dream. Each of you should have your own dream, or better yet, a goal for which you will live, work and change yourself. The dream should be so strong that for the sake of it you can wake up early in the morning and get to work, for the sake of it you will not stop after failures. Try to describe your future in detail. better life: what and how it will take place every day. For example, describe to yourself what kind of clothes you will be wearing, what kind of house you will live in, and what kind of person will be next to you. Once you have a goal, try to come up with and write down in detail on pieces of paper a step-by-step plan or tasks that need to be completed. For example, we have a dream to live in Canada. To do this, we are drawing up a rough plan: to study options for emigration to Canada, collecting necessary documents and collecting money. Then you begin to implement each of the points. This is how they change their lives for the better.

  2. Touch real change. You cannot change your life for the better by changing some little thing in it, such as buying a professional camera or a trip to the sea. The goal should be more global and concern most of your life. For example, you can change your job, place of residence, attitude to life, etc. In addition, your desires should be real, and not the desire to learn how to fly in the air.

  3. Change your social circle. In many ways, the changes will depend on your circle of friends; if the people around you support, help and contribute in every possible way to your improvements, then everything will work out. If those around you are jealous, escalate the situation, do not believe in you and say all sorts of nasty things about you, then of course no changes will happen. We can tell you right away that in 95% of cases your social circle will have to change in any case, since if you are unhappy now, then it is partly the fault of the people around you too. They can be direct culprits in this, or indirect, for example, be indifferent to your life situation. So start communicating with successful people, kind and those who will believe in your potential changes. For other people, it’s better not to talk about your plans at all, just stop contacting them and that’s it...

  4. Find the strength to get up after falling. Of course, when building a successful and happy future, there will be constant problems and failures. In these difficult moments, you should never give up or give up. You need to “get up from your knees” and continue to go ahead towards your best life. Be prepared for such difficulties. Look for support among people close to you. Be bolder and more persistent, because you still need to achieve your happiness, no matter what the cost.

  5. Take action now! Do you know what is the best moment to start your changes?! RIGHT NOW!!! Do you want to change yourself and your life?! Then start changing immediately, don’t wait for the right moment, it may never happen, but that doesn’t mean you need to sit and wait for it. The faster you “start”, the faster you will reach your goal - your best life.

Life can be changed! Happiness exists.

Surprisingly, with all the busyness of the day today, the frantic rhythm and bustle, we very rarely think about something important. Very often, all our thoughts are completely immersed in unimportant trifles and everyday problems, one day is similar to another, and years are replaced by the same monotonous years. Many understand the strangeness of such walking in circles but continue to live in the same spirit, in boredom and monotony. But to notice new opportunities, you just need to raise your head and look around.

To grow, you need to change. Once your life stops changing, your growth stops. If your life does not change, then it is unlikely that something new, suddenly happy will happen in it.

Unfortunately, there are few happy people. There is such a strange law: the more cheap pleasures, the less joy. So, alcohol does not make a person happy, but the main function computer games- kill personal time. But happiness exists, and happiness is enormous. A person can change anything in his life. He can move, choose any occupation, engage in creativity, live for the sake of some kind of business, he can start a family, have children, or remain free, he can choose any social circle, any hobby. And what is most important and surprising is that a person can change himself. He can get rid of what is bad for him and learn what makes him feel good.

Why, with so many opportunities, do some of us live like a plant, without much active action, just floating with the flow? The fact is that the gift of freedom that we have been given includes the opportunity to do nothing.

This choice is very simple, but at the same time quite stupid and unprofitable. Why choose the worst when you can achieve the best? Usually in response to such a question they answer something like - what can you do? That's the kind of person I am. Such is fate. That's what happened.

But you don't know what kind of person you really are. To know yourself, you need to try yourself different forms communication, with different people, V different types activities. We cannot fully recognize ourselves until the end of our lives, but what does a person who has tried five percent of what is available to him know about himself?

There are human properties that are difficult to change. For example, temperament. It is unlikely that you will suddenly become slow, gloomy and calm from a cheerful, unbalanced optimist. But what we call character can be changed, because it is simply a set of habits inherited from parents or acquired during life. By changing this set for the better, a person becomes happier. You also don't have to repeat your parents' lives, earn a lot of money, or try your best to succeed in a field that deeply disgusts you. Because in our life we ​​are free. Free to change circumstances, change yourself, become happy. If a person’s soul is harmonious, he is happy with any material opportunities. If a person’s soul is sick, then he is unhappy, no matter how successful he is in the monetary sense. Therefore, in order to change your life, you need to start not with a career, not with making money, not with love affairs, but with yourself.

When we deal with ourselves, we deal mainly with our habits, both good and bad. But there is something in a person that stands above these habits and is capable of influencing them. It doesn’t matter what it’s called – spirit, consciousness or something else. From a practical point of view, the properties of this dominant part of our personality, reason and will, are important. Thanks to these qualities, we are able to analyze, make decisions and act.

What prevents us from changing our lives?

Let's look at the main obstacles to changing our lives:

- Lack of motives Two women of equal ability and character begin to learn to drive. One - because she needs to take the children to kindergarten in the morning, the second - for company. Who will learn faster? The answer is obvious. Connect the changes in your life with something very good and imagine that everything will come true.

- Parental influence Upbringing in childhood leaves an imprint on your entire life. If parents always indicated what to do and directed all events, a person then experiences anxiety and even fear of any independent actions for many years. He can plan changes, but implementing them is a huge stress for him. But there’s nothing you can do about it, for the first few years of independent life you have to get over yourself, then this severe hereditary inertia recedes.

- Chronic fatigue Work - home - work. The man lives like a beast, and even rare time rest does not bring much joy. In this state, the desire for change is not supported by emotions. They simply don't have enough energy. Try making changes in your life in small doses. But every day!

- Internal protest You have planned everything, thought through everything, but there are always reasons to postpone plans. Perhaps deep down you feel that the upcoming changes will bring significant inconvenience, and therefore subconsciously slow them down. Deal with this situation. If you want change, then be fully aware of this.

- Breaking the laws of the universe Sounds a little strange, but it works. There are basic laws of the universe and violating them causes a response. There are several laws, breaking which man is walking everything is somewhat different from what he would like. Read these laws, get acquainted with them, then no problems arise. internal contradictions, everything is very logical and correct:

- Law of Free Will No one has the right to violate the will of another. Neither the children's parents, nor the parents' children, nor the students' teachers, nor colleagues, nor friends. You cannot force someone to do something against their will.

- Law of Love. We must try to turn negative into positive on our own, at the same moment as soon as this negativity appears. The black evil inside can only act against you.

- Law of Justice. This law says that we get exactly what we deserve, no more and no less. And this is always true, without exception. It is impossible to violate it, you can only take note of it.

- Law of Harmony. The universe always strives for balance. When a “distortion” occurs somewhere, the Universe immediately creates a situation to correct this distortion. Thus, you get what you deserve every time you go wrong, when you upset the balance with your way of thinking and behavior.

Slow down. To change your life, you need time to think and reflect. If you're always busy and don't have time to even think about changing your life, you won't have time to change it. Slow down and take time to look around and set your course.

Understand that everything can change. This is your life and no one can change it but you. If you yourself do not want to change, only a very strong shock will force you to do so. To find the willingness to change, you must clearly understand that you can always improve your life. If it's good, let it get even better. If it’s bad, let it just change for the better.

Understand that only you are responsible for your life. Do not blame others, your superiors, your country or fate for your failures. Whether your life goes up or down is up to you. All changes are quite accessible to you.

Figure out what your core values ​​are. What is the most important thing in life? What is the main thing missing, what is wrong? Figure it out. You must know this absolutely for sure.

There is something basic, a basic need or problem that determines everything. Change is not easy, so your reason is your source of energy, a clear understanding of the root cause will give you strength. What's the main thing you're missing? What is the main thing you want to change?

Replace limiting beliefs. Limiting beliefs are the biggest obstacle to life change. You must identify them, and to do this, track your thoughts containing phrases: what can you do, that’s the kind of person I am... unlucky... such a fate... nothing can be done about it, and so on. These are all simple excuses that simply mean “I don’t want to.”

Replace bad habits with positive ones. It is advisable to identify your bad habits and figure out which ones are dragging you down. What habits would you like to break? Clearly understand this problem, it is one of the most basic. Ideally, it would be better to create new positive habits that will replace the bad ones. Change your minus to a plus, this is the most wonderful thing you can do.

Choose a role model. A lot of people started from scratch, without much knowledge or prospects. The whole world is now talking about them, everyone knows them, they are an example.

Set yourself up for lasting change. Changing your life takes time, especially if you want to radically change your life. Understanding that all this takes a long time, does not happen all at once and goes through periods of ups and downs, will give you resilience in the future. difficult moments. The hardest thing is to force yourself to start moving. After this, you will move quite easily, gradually improving and changing your life.

Try to think a lot. Identify issues that you want to think about and resolve in the near future. Formulate your desired results (what you want) as clearly as possible. Realize what is most important to you at this particular period of life? What might be (in general) bothering you or annoying you now? What exactly do you want or what brings you the most joy? Which results are most important to you?

Working on yourself is interesting. After all, improving yourself is not only a means of improving life, but in a sense, it is also a goal. A person who works on himself always works for himself, and not for “uncle.” He knows: every minute of work on himself is a hard coin in the treasury of his wealth. He is like a champion athlete who was lucky enough to compete at the highest rank competitions for the rest of his life. He needs to always be in shape, and he likes to be in shape. And this passion for victory, this anticipation and joy of victory fills his entire life with strength. In fact, such a person does not know old age, his soul is vigorous, slender and muscular.

So, it doesn’t take much to change your life. Contrary to popular belief, there is no need to make drastic changes to improve your quality of life. At the same time, you don't have to wait for a long time to get results. All you need to change your life is take a few small steps, and do them consistently. General principle like this: understand what is tormenting you; find out if you made any mistakes that could lead to this condition; repent of mistakes and try not to repeat them; develop in a direction that removes you from problems and mistakes.

Most of us decide to make changes in our lives when things can’t get any worse: the fear of the obvious becomes worse than the fear of the unknown. But all life is built on progress, which is possible only thanks to our actions. Action brings change. Don’t tell yourself: “Why change everything - this will do.” There is no need to waste energy and time - wait until life reaches a crisis or comes to a dead end. It's time to take control of your life. In order to decide to make changes in your life and begin not just to dream, but to act, a person does not need much - just a desire. Well, for inspiration, today’s selection contains quotes that can become an incentive for great changes both within and around you. We wish you good luck and positive trends in life!

So, 15 inspirational quotes that can change your life:

Failure is simply an opportunity to start again, but more wisely. Henry Ford

If the problem can be resolved, there is no need to worry about it. If a problem cannot be solved, there is no point in worrying about it. Dalai Lama

Even if you are very talented and put in a lot of effort, some results just take time. A woman will not give birth to a child in a month, no matter how hard she tries. Warren Buffett

Once in a lifetime, fortune knocks on every person's door, but at that time a person often sits in the nearest pub and does not hear any knock. Mark Twain

Our big flaw is that we give up too quickly. Most Right way The key to success is to always try one more time. Thomas Edison

When you wake up in the morning, ask yourself: “What should I do?” In the evening before falling asleep: “What have I done?” Pythagoras

Poor, unsuccessful, unhappy and unhealthy is the one who often uses the word “tomorrow”. Robert Kiyosaki

Old people always advise young people to save money. This is bad advice. Don't save nickels. Invest in yourself. I never saved a dollar in my life until I was forty. Henry Ford

I want it. So it will be. Henry Ford

I didn't fail. I just found 10,000 ways that don't work. Thomas Edison

Hard work is the accumulation of easy things that you didn't do when you should have done them. John Maxwell

I used to say, “I hope things change.” Then I realized that there is the only way For everything to change, I have to change myself. Jim Rohn

The lesson I learned and followed throughout my life was to try, and try, and try again - but never give up! Richard Branson

Do today what others do not want, and tomorrow you will live as others cannot.

Don't be afraid to change your usual life pattern! Stagnation should be scary. Take a risk at least once! He who doesn’t take risks doesn’t drink champagne, and most importantly, doesn’t achieve success!

Alexey Levitsky, psychologist

Programmer, investor and entrepreneur James Altucher, who has already launched several startups, published on TechCrunch very simple, useful and honest instructions for those who want to radically change their field of activity, but do not know where to start. Below is the translation of this article.

Here's what it's like: I've been down a few times, I've come back to life a few times, I've done it again and again. I started new careers. People who knew me then don't know me now. And so on.

I started my career from scratch several times. Sometimes - because my interests changed. Sometimes - because all the bridges were burned completely, and sometimes because I desperately needed money. And sometimes because I hated everyone at my old job or they hated me.

There are other ways to reinvent yourself, so take what I say with a grain of salt. This is what worked in my case. I've seen this work for about a hundred other people. According to interviews, according to letters that have been written to me over the past 20 years. You can try it - or not.

1. Change never ends

Every day you reinvent yourself. You are always on the move. But every day you decide where exactly you are moving: forward or backward.

2. Start with a clean slate

All your past shortcuts are just vanity. Were you a doctor? An Ivy League graduate? Owned millions? Did you have a family? Nobody cares. You have lost everything. You are zero. Don't try to say that you are something more.

3. You need a mentor

Otherwise you will go down. Someone needs to show you how to move and breathe. But don't worry about finding a mentor (see below).

4. Three types of mentors

Straight. Someone ahead of you who will show you how they got there. What does "this" mean? Wait. By the way, the mentors are not like Jackie Chan’s character in the movie “The Karate Kid.” Most mentors will hate you.

Indirect. Books. Movies. You can get 90% of your instruction from books and other materials. 200–500 books equals a good mentor. When people ask me, “What is a good book to read?” - I don’t know what to answer them. There are 200–500 good books that are worth reading. I would turn to inspirational books. Whatever you believe, strengthen your beliefs with daily reading.

Anything can be a mentor. If you are a nobody and want to reinvent yourself, everything you look at can become a metaphor for your desires and goals. The tree you see, with its roots out of sight and the groundwater that feeds it, is a metaphor for programming if you connect the dots together. And everything you look at will “connect the dots.”

5. Don't worry if nothing excites you.

You care about your health. Start with him. Take small steps. You don't need passion to succeed. Do your work with love and success will become a natural symptom.

6. Time it takes to reinvent yourself: five years

Here is a description of these five years.

First year: you're floundering and reading everything and just starting to do something.

Second year: You know who you need to talk to and maintain working connections with. You do something every day. You finally understand what your own Monopoly game map looks like.

Third year: you are good enough to start making money. But for now, perhaps not enough to earn a living.

Fourth year: you provide for yourself well.

Fifth year: you make a fortune.

I got frustrated sometimes in the first four years. I asked myself: “Why hasn’t this happened yet?” - He hit the wall with his fist and broke his hand. It's okay, just keep going. Or stop and choose a new field of activity. It doesn't matter. Someday you will die, and then it will be really difficult to change.

7. If you do it too fast or too slow, something is going wrong.

A good example is Google.

8. It's not about the money

But money is a good measure. When people say, “It's not about the money,” they need to be sure they have some other unit of measurement. “How about you just do what you love?” There will be many days ahead when you won't like what you do. If you do this from pure love, it will take much more than five years. Happiness is just a positive reaction from your brain. Some days you will be unhappy. Your brain is just a tool, it does not define who you are.

9. When is it okay to say, “I’m doing X”? When does X become your new profession?

10. When can I start doing X?

Today. If you want to paint, buy canvas and paints today, start buying 500 books one at a time and paint pictures. If you want to write, do these three things:

Read

If you want to start your own business, start coming up with a business idea. Re-creating yourself begins today. Every day.

11. When will I earn money?

In a year, you will have invested 5,000–7,000 hours into this business. This is good enough to put you in the top 200-300 in the world in any specialty. Getting into the top 200 almost always provides a livelihood. By the third year you will understand how to make money. By the fourth, you will be able to increase your turnover and provide for yourself. Some people stop there.

12. By the fifth year you will be in the top 30-50, so you can make a fortune

13. How can I tell if it’s mine?

Any field in which you can read 500 books. Go to the bookstore and find it. If you get bored after three months, go to the bookstore again. It’s normal to get rid of illusions, that’s the meaning of defeat. Success better than defeat, but the most important lessons we are given defeats. Very important: don’t rush. For my interesting life you can change yourself many times. And you will fail many times. It's fun too. These attempts will turn your life into a story book, not a textbook. Some people want their life to be a textbook. Mine is a book of stories, for better or worse. Therefore, changes occur every day.

14. The decisions you make today will be in your biography tomorrow.

Make interesting decisions and you will have an interesting biography.

15. The decisions you make today will become part of your biology.

16. What if I like something exotic? Biblical archeology or wars of the 11th century?

Repeat the above steps and by the fifth year you can become rich. We don't know how. There is no need to look for the end of the road when you are only taking the first steps.

17. What if my family wants me to become an accountant?

How many years of your life have you promised to give to your family? Ten? All life? Then wait for the next life. It's up to you to choose.

Choose freedom over family. Freedom, not prejudice. Freedom, not government. Freedom, not satisfying other people's needs. Then you will satisfy yours.

18. My mentor wants me to follow his path.

This is fine. Master his path. Then do it your way. Sincerely.

Luckily, no one is holding a gun to your head. Then you would have to comply with his demands until he puts the gun down.

19. My husband (wife) is worried: who will take care of our children?

A person who changes himself always finds free time. Part of changing yourself is finding moments and reframing them in the way you would like to use them.

20. What if my friends think I'm crazy?

What kind of friends are these?

21. What if I want to be an astronaut?

This is not changing yourself. This is a specific profession. If you like space, there are many careers. Richard Branson wanted to be an astronaut and created Virgin Galactic.

22. What if I like to drink and hang out with friends?

Read this post again in a year.

23. What if I'm busy? Am I cheating on my spouse or betraying my partner?

Read this post again in two or three years, when you are broke, without a job and everyone has turned their backs on you.

24. What if I don’t know how to do anything at all?

Read point 2 again.

25. What if I don’t have a diploma or it’s of no use?

Read point 2 again.

26. What if I need to focus on paying off my mortgage or other loan?

Read point 19 again.

27. Why do I always feel like an outsider?

Albert Einstein was an outsider. No one in authority would hire him to work. Everyone sometimes feels like an impostor. Greatest creativity born out of skepticism.

28. I can't read 500 books. Name one book you should read for inspiration

Then you can give up right away.

29. What if I’m too sick to change myself?

Change will boost production useful substances in your body: serotonin, dopamine, oxytocin. Move forward and you may not get completely better, but you will become healthier. Don't use health as an excuse.

Finally, rebuild your health first. Get more sleep. Eat better. Play sports. These are the key steps to change.

30. What if my partner set me up and I’m still getting married to him?

Drop the lawsuit and never think about him again. Half the problem was you.

31. What if I am sent to prison?

Wonderful. Re-read point 2. Read more books in prison.

32. What if I am a timid person?

Make your weakness your strength. Introverts are better at listening and concentrating, and they know how to evoke sympathy.

33. What if I can’t wait five years?

If you plan to be alive in five years, you can start today.

34. How to make contacts?

Build concentric circles. You should be in the middle. The next circle is friends and family. Then - online communities. Then - people you know from informal meetings and tea parties. Then there are conference participants and opinion leaders in their field. Then - mentors. Then there are the clients and those who make money. Start making your way through these circles.

35. What if my ego starts getting in the way of what I'm doing?

In six months or a year you will return to point 2.

36. What if I'm passionate about two things at once? And I can't choose?

Combine them and you will be the best in the world at this combination.

37. What if I am so passionate that I want to teach others what I am learning myself?

Read lectures on YouTube. Start with an audience of one and see if it grows.

38. What if I want to earn money in my sleep?

In the fourth year, start outsourcing what you do.

39. How to find mentors and experts?

Once you have enough knowledge (after 100-200 books), write 10 ideas for 20 different potential mentors.

None of them will answer you. Write 10 more ideas for 20 new mentors. Repeat this every week.

40. What if I can’t come up with ideas?

Then practice it. The thinking muscles tend to atrophy. They need to be trained.

I will have a hard time reaching my toes if I don't practice every day. I need to do this exercise every day for some time before this pose becomes easy for me. Don't expect to have good ideas from day one.

42. What if I do everything you say, but nothing seems to work?

It will work out. Just wait. Keep changing yourself every day.

Don't try to find the end of the path. You won't be able to see it in the fog. But you can see the next step, and you will realize that if you take it, you will eventually reach the end of the road.

43. What if I start to feel depressed?

Sit in silence for an hour a day. You need to get back to your core.

If you think it sounds stupid, don't do it. Move on with your depression.

44. What if there is no time to sit in silence?

Then sit in silence for two hours a day. This is not meditation. You just have to sit.

45. What if I get scared?

Sleep 8-9 hours a night and never engage in gossip. Sleep is the first secret good health. Not the only one, but the first. Some people write to me that four hours of sleep is enough for them or that in their country those who sleep a lot are considered lazy. These people will fail and die young.

When it comes to gossip, our brains are biologically programmed to have 150 friends. And when you talk to one of your friends, you might gossip about one of the other 150. And if you don't have 150 friends, your brain will want to read gossip magazines until it thinks it has 150 friends.

Don't be as stupid as your brain.

46. ​​What if it seems to me that I will never succeed?

Practice gratitude for 10 minutes a day. Don't suppress your fear. Notice your anger.

But also allow yourself to be grateful for what you have. Anger never inspires, but gratitude never inspires. Gratitude is the bridge between your world and the parallel universe where all creative ideas live.

47. What if I constantly have to deal with some personal squabbles?

Find other people to be around.

A person who changes himself will constantly encounter people who try to suppress him. The brain is afraid of change - it may be unsafe. Biologically, the brain wants safety for you, and change is risk. So your brain will give you people trying to stop you.

Learn to say no.

Remember: life is a journey, not a destination.

A hackneyed but relevant phrase. Live life to the fullest- feel every day, learn new things, and not sacrifice everything for one goal. Don't be discouraged if it doesn't work out at first. This is fine.

Be honest with yourself and others

Lying drains energy and makes a person unhappy. Just imagine how many lies you need to remember so as not to accidentally spill the beans. What happiness there is here. Besides, if you are not honest with yourself, you cannot grow and develop. And if you lie to others, then trust and intimacy disappear in the relationship.

People tell lies various reasons. Out of envy, out of reluctance to offend, fear of opening up or entering into... Being honest is difficult, but this is the only way to live life to the fullest.

Learn to accept yourself

We often dwell on past failures and spend too much time thinking about our own. weaknesses. We think about what we don’t like about ourselves, how to change it, and we think that we should become different. Spending your life on such thoughts and events from the past means not noticing the present and being closed to new things in the future. Make a conscious decision to love yourself for who you are. Get rid of the burden of memories and negative thoughts.

Define your values

Having formulated your values, it will be easier for you to set life goals that do not contradict them. Stick to your convictions and don't let others lead you astray. After all, living in accordance with your principles is much more pleasant than constantly following the advice of others.

Stop putting yourself down

It is believed that self-criticism helps to develop, but research How to Stop the Self-Criticism and Feel Better About You proved Negative influence This approach affects both the person himself and his attitude towards others. The stricter you are with yourself, the higher your chances of treating others the same way. Belittling your merits will not help you become a better person and achieve your goals. Be kind to yourself.

Replace negative thoughts with attitudes. For example, instead of “I’m a failure,” tell yourself: “Things didn’t go according to plan. But I will figure out why this happened and will not make similar mistakes in the future. I will find a way to achieve what I want in another way.”

Analyze self-criticism logically. Instead of “I’m stupid, everyone in the group is smarter than me,” think about whether there are objective reasons to think so. Maybe you're just not preparing well enough for your classes. Maybe laziness is to blame, but not intelligence. By analyzing the thought in this way, you will understand what steps you need to take without belittling yourself.

Be flexible

Life is full of changes. Be open to new things and learn to adapt to changes, even if you don't like them at first. See them as opportunities to gain new experiences. This positive thinking will help develop flexibility.

Getting fired from Apple was the best thing that ever happened to me. The heavy burden of success was replaced by the carelessness of a beginner, less confident entrepreneur. I was freed to enter one of the most rewarding periods of my life.

Steve Jobs, American entrepreneur, CEO of Apple

Keep fit

Taking care of your body is another step towards living a full life. You only have one, and it's important to make sure it's healthy. It's hard to live rich life when it hurts here and stings there.

Eat right. Eat as many fruits, vegetables, and complex carbohydrates as possible. Try to avoid foods high in sugar, but still treat yourself to a piece of pie or a glass of wine from time to time.

Play sports. Regular exercise will help you feel healthier and happier.

Stop forcing yourself

People often force themselves to do things that are at odds with their values ​​and desires. Compulsion causes irritation, frustration and sadness. If you get rid of this, then living life to the fullest will become easier.

As soon as “I should” appears in your thoughts, think about why you think so. For example, “I need to lose weight.” This may be the advice of a doctor or the desire of a person with a different perception of beauty. In the first case, changes are really necessary, in the second they can even be dangerous. Do only what is important to you, not what others demand.

Method 2. Go your own way

Leave your comfort zone

The more often you perform unusual actions, the higher your Anxiety Can Bring Out the Best your performance. How more difficult tasks you set before yourself, the faster you get used to the new and the calmer you perceive life difficulties. Getting out of your comfort zone helps you become more flexible, and we've already found out how important that is.

Start small. Go to a place you know nothing about. Go on a spontaneous trip or do something at work that you haven't done before.

Be realistic

Set goals according to your strengths, taking into account your skills and... Strive for what is important to you and don’t compete with others. Achieving what you want should depend only on your needs, but not on the desire to show off or prove something to someone.

Be prepared for something to go wrong

When a person lives life to the fullest, he takes risks. He makes decisions that have consequences. And sometimes they may not turn out as planned. It is important to understand that life is unpredictable and to be calm about the unexpected. The ability to be prepared for anything makes it possible to be one step ahead and calculate options for the development of events.

Look for opportunities to learn

Don't sit still and let life just take its course. Be active, learn new things, make your brain work. Analyze your experience and the experience of other people. This will help you be calmer in difficult situations and allow you to move forward confidently.

Know how to thank

Gratitude is not just a feeling - it is a lifestyle. It will help you overcome the traumas of the past, if you consider them not as pain, but as a valuable experience, and be grateful to life for it. It will strengthen relationships with loved ones, and without them it is extremely difficult to live a full life.

Tell family, friends and others important people how glad you are that you have them. Share gratitude, don’t be afraid to express it, and life will be filled with pleasure and harmony.

Appreciate every moment and don't focus on the bad. Appreciate the beauty of everyday life, be grateful to life even for the little things: a beautiful sunset, good weather and delicious coffee.

The more pleasant little things you notice, the better life will become.

Keep a diary

Try not just to record the events that happened, but to analyze them. How did you react, why did it happen, how did you feel then and now, and what would you do if this situation happened again? All this will show what is going well in life, and what needs more work.

Laugh

Laughter is the best medicine. It lowers stress hormone levels and improves mood. Plus it's contagious. If you laugh, others will laugh too, and this is the easiest way to create emotional and social connections.

Don't chase after material things

From large quantity things won't make you happier. Don't buy impulsively or try to relieve stress through shopping. Buy only what you really need.

If you have already accumulated a lot of useless things, donate them to charity. Get rid of everything you don't like and start living free from material assets life.

A person picks up the emotions of others as easily as catching a cold. If you spend the day with happy people, you will start to feel better. If you communicate with those who are gloomy and dissatisfied with life, then this will also affect your mood. Only negative. Therefore, it is important not to waste time on toxic people.

Surround yourself with those who care about you, who respect you and others.

But that doesn't mean your friends and family can't give you constructive criticism. Sometimes you still need someone to point out mistakes. But it is important to feel that people do this with kindness, respect and care. That they actually help you become a better person.

Discuss your needs

Confidently express your thoughts and needs, but remember that those around you also have desires that need to be heard. Be open and honest, but don't blame or judge people.

It's good to honestly tell the person that he hurt you. Explain what exactly bothered you. It is bad to accuse him of inhumanity without a specific explanation of the reason.

To prevent people from interpreting your words as accusations, always say “I.” For example, “I felt like my needs weren’t important when you didn’t pick me up from work” instead of “You didn’t even pick me up from work, you don’t care about me.”

Instead of judging the actions of others, try to understand why they did it. Ask them to tell you more about the reasons, find out someone else’s point of view. If you still don’t agree with the opinion, tell us why and offer an alternative.

Be selfless

Often the thought that we deserve more prevents us from moving forward. Giving, but not receiving in return, we are in people, life, justice. It's hard to live life to the fullest when your head is so dark. Therefore, it is important to share love, kindness, warmth and care selflessly.

But this does not mean that you can allow your feet to be wiped on you. Stop any attempts to take advantage of your good attitude.

Forgive yourself and others

It's hard, but good for the soul. By forgiving, you will free yourself from stress, let go of accumulated negativity and feel lightness. Learn to forgive people despite their behavior, and this will help mental wounds heal.

It is important to forgive not only others, but also yourself. Stop thinking about mistakes and blaming yourself for what you did. The past cannot be changed. Use this experience as an opportunity to become a better person. Show yourself the same compassion you show others.

Accept people as they are

It can be difficult to communicate with someone who is so different from us. But don't try to change it and adjust it to suit yourself. Remember that every person is a unique individual who can teach you something new. Be kind and polite in any company. Enjoy the company of other people. Treat everyone the way you would like to be treated.

How do you feel about changes in your life? Are you happy about them or are you afraid that they will bring something bad? This is a very important question.

Ultimately, it is he who decides whether you make your life the way you want it to be or not.
Look outside. Can you point to anything that is not subject to change?

Many have asked the question “How to make up your mind and change your life”

And everything in this world changes. Nothing is stable.

Even mountains and rocks grow and collapse. Even the Universe is changing. Clinging to stability is one of the deepest delusions of man. By trying to achieve stability, you violate one of the fundamental laws of nature - the law of change.

One sign that you have broken this law is that suddenly changes begin to enter your life.

How does this usually happen?

Up to a certain point, everything is going great: husband, family, work, position.

And suddenly everything starts to collapse in one beautiful moment. The husband leaves, he is fired from his job, relatives get sick, we ourselves begin to get sick, something absurd happens to the children - in short, the world seems to go crazy.

Everything is falling apart. This is a sign that it is time to work with yourself. You sat still and missed the moment of change without letting it into your life.

So you have a goal.

You have already defined it for yourself and want to implement it. What are you immediately faced with? To achieve ANY goal, even the smallest one, you need to do something, finally get off the couch and make changes in your life. Decide to change your life and finally begin to implement this decision.

A measured and monotonous life, even and smooth, with no signs of distraction from the course, or a turn from the intended and direct path. This is how we all live...

Everything is fine - and okay. The main thing is that it doesn’t get worse...

Most of us decide to make changes in our lives when things get worse: the fear of the obvious becomes worse than the fear of the unknown.

But all life is built on progress, which is possible only thanks to our actions. Action brings change. And here the circle closes, because... Without change, progress is not possible. And how do our dreams and goals end in the end? Yes, nothing. Why change everything, it will do just fine.

There is no need to waste energy and time - wait until life reaches a crisis or comes to a dead end.

And if you find yourself in a crisis or dead end, look at this situation as last call: It's time to learn to manage your life.

Better yet, start learning how to manage change without waiting for a dead end or crisis. Dream and fear are present at the beginning of any new business.

Can a dream cope with the fear of change?

This is the first issue that will need to be resolved. And decide not in words, but in deeds - practically - to begin changes, leaving further doubts.

In addition, we are not only afraid of change, we are also too lazy to change anything in our lives for the better.

Let's take the simplest and most basic things. It's time to relax, buy a car, clarify your relationship or go on a diet - this is completely obvious to you. But you are still dragging your feet and postponing the moment of decisive action for an indefinite period of time.

Yes, all because laziness, great power inertia, it’s easier to live on a well-established rut, any changes are fraught with problems, or you simply lack willpower to move in a fateful direction. How to spur yourself on and bring your will into “working condition”?

7 ways to change your life

Psychologists recommend using additional motivation methods that will help you get rid of fears, turn on self-control and quickly get closer to your dream. Each of them is good for something specific person and is somehow bad, but may not have any effect on someone at all.

Therefore, choose a couple of techniques that are most suitable for you personally, get involved in the game and do not expect instant results: this is only possible in dreams, but in life - every step towards the goal counts.

Positive Visualization

This is a conscious representation in the mind of the desired object, event, state in the smallest detail, a kind of movie of your dreams.
The task is to present as clearly as possible the happy result of your efforts: how, with the applause of the team, you receive the position of head of a department; like a march

Mendelssohn, marry the Man of your Dreams; how you accept enthusiastic compliments about your almost model figure.

Try to feel all the delight of what is happening, taste the delight of victory and “preserve” positive feelings. This moment, even if lived in fantasy, will help you cope with the internal “I don’t want or can’t.” Whenever your willpower leaves you, recall the moment of your imaginary triumph in your memory and make a breakthrough on a wave of positive emotions.

In addition, a picture of a bright future that has taken root in the subconscious usually stimulates a person’s perseverance; it is like a beacon that one wants to go to, no matter what.

The technique of positive visualization does not have to be aimed directly at a happy ending; it can be aimed at some intermediate result of efforts, at a local dream. For example, you want to visit England.

So study its history, culture and nature from books and films. Mentally imagine yourself on the streets of London and Liverpool. Savor the details.

Imagine taking a photo at the John Lennon monument, or making eyes at the sentry at Buckingham Palace. As soon as this country consciously and subconsciously becomes “yours,” you will turn on your will, earn money and do everything to go there.

"Scary Movie"

This is visualization in reverse.

Create in your mind a “full-length movie” about how horrifying things will unfold if you don’t do what you plan. You don’t go to an important interview, you don’t get the coveted vacancy. You will never have the opportunity to apply for such a place again.

You languish on a microscopic salary and a boring job, retire with unfulfilled dreams and unrealized potential and die in poverty.

You involuntarily burst out: “Not that!” - that means it worked.

Now go back to the beginning of the film, when you are okay, and think, maybe it’s worth a little effort now to change the plot and ending of the film? That is, gather your courage and go to this very interview, and to the next one too. No matter how scary it is.

By the way, your “thriller” can be on any topic.

Wish card

Let's say you are eager to buy a car.

Cut out pictures from the catalog with cars of the desired brand and color, make a collage of them on a piece of cardboard, paste your photo on the driver's seat, insert the collage into a frame and hang it in a visible place.

A picture-reminder of what you want helps ensure that energy accumulates and accumulates and one day it will break through - there will be an explosion of will that will allow you to get closer to your goal.

Prize

The expectation of praise and material reward stimulates our activity and initiative.

This is how we are built for selfish reasons. However, if you overcome yourself and go for a morning jog, no one will write you an award or give you an audience award for refusing a hearty dinner in favor of a light salad.

Then it makes sense to move on to self-promotion. Americans call this the joy principle.

  • I plucked up courage and outlined my complaints to the boss - good girl, get a massage course.
  • I courageously went on a diet and lost 4 kg in 2 weeks - well done! I give myself luxurious lingerie.

And in order not to go broke on gifts for every victory or effort of will, introduce a “token system” - their number and, accordingly, the reward will depend on how distinguished you are. This will make the reward system even more interesting.

Investment

For someone who is rich and noted for wastefulness, this method of additional motivation is not suitable.

Set a goal and invest in it right away a large sum. For example, you want to replace the fat folds on your stomach with elastic muscles, but you don’t have the willpower to start serious training

Make a knight's move: buy an expensive exercise machine.

Now try to ignore this sports equipment. Nothing will work! If you don’t study, you will wear yourself out with remorse for wastage. It is the material loss that will force you to strain your willpower and muscles and, ultimately, lead to your cherished goal - a slim figure.

Of course, this applies not only to sports. Having bought the most expensive language course, you will certainly start learning foreign language, and having paid a tidy sum for the services of a nutritionist, you will definitely begin to limit yourself in food and eat a balanced diet.

You can check this by attending the event.

Oath

Give it and sign it in blood!

The blood thing is, of course, a joke, but if you are consistent and honest, it should work. Make a bet on something material with your family that, for example, you will quit smoking.

Thus, you will burn all the bridges to retreat: you will have no choice but to forget about tobacco, eradicating a long-term habit. Please note that if you fail, you will pay double the rate: your self-esteem will decrease, the respect of others for you may fall, and you will lose money.

What to do with “I can’t” and “I don’t want”

"All! This needs to change!” - they decide alone and immediately begin to implement their plans. "All! This needs to change!” - others decide and... do nothing.

Such indecision has serious reasons, and they need to be dealt with so that they do not interfere with the implementation of plans.

 


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