Hello, dear readers. Remember. You have probably found yourself in such a situation yourself or seen a friend in the company of other people who is filled with anger, aggression or discontent. At the same time, he tries to maintain composure, calmness, and maybe even tries to look happy and satisfied with life.

Today we will talk about human feelings, emotions and actions. Congruence in psychology is correspondence internal state human and external. When emotions coincide in various components and characteristics. A person acts in harmony with himself.

This definition is found in mathematics, physics and psychology, where different elements fit into a given structure. People say, do as your heart tells you. Not every person is capable of this. Some act differently, pursuing certain goals, others are not always able to understand their true state.

Let's look at why congruence is so important, what benefits it provides, and whether its absence can lead to negative consequences.

Meaning

The term "congruence" means how a person feels. His actions do not contradict his words, his facial expressions do not contradict his state of mind. Without unnecessary evaluation and control, he evaluates his feelings, experiences and problems. There is no pretense in the behavior. Life ceases to be a theatrical stage; the show does not always have to go on.

The term "congruence" comes from English word, since it has no analogues in the Russian language. It includes such concepts as coherence, coherence, proportionality. I would add honesty and sincerity to this list.

Advantages

I think that each of you has an acquaintance whom you do not trust for no reason. Perhaps he is not your colleague and you meet extremely rarely, but every meeting leaves a heavy touch of melancholy. This man is hiding something.

Of course, it is not necessary that your interlocutor is incongruent. Perhaps you simply did not understand and did not accept his manner of communication. It all depends on your ability, that is, the ability to capture the emotions of other people, to empathize at the subtlest level. The person hasn’t said anything yet, but you already understand perfectly well that he is sad, happy or angry.

It is not difficult to understand how this behavior is beneficial for business and interpersonal communication. Even if you experience negative emotions. I can give many examples from life when an honest conversation between two people led to a positive “final”.

A young man of one of my acquaintances for a long time, in all unimaginable sins, found a reason to start a scandal out of the blue. One evening, in a calm atmosphere, she asked: “Do you want to leave me? Is this the reason for your eternal discontent?”

The guy admitted that he was not satisfied living together, he is tired of problems. According to the girl, at that moment she was absolutely sincerely ready forever, which she immediately said. He was delighted by the fact that no one was thinking of keeping him and decided to give this relationship a try, and a few months later the couple got married.

In fact, this conversation did not take place in words, but at some level of the subconscious. There were no phrases of great importance. The man was afraid that the woman would encroach on his freedom, but feeling that the girl was not going to limit him in anything, he gave her up without any questions asked.

Flaws

The principle of congruence is tempting, but if people always said and did whatever they wanted, it would lead to irreparable consequences. The girl from the previous story found best time, a place and words to express your own feelings. If everything had happened differently, no one knows how this story would have ended.

Even the most cruel words. You can understand the most unpleasant person, and feel for him, if not with tremulous tender feelings, then at least with confident neutrality.

It is not enough to be able to say what you want, you also need to act in what environment. If you want to understand all the intricacies, I can recommend Jack Schafer's book " We turn on charm according to the methods of the special services».

Author former employee FBI and in his work he talks about non-verbal tricks that allow you to win over people using the ability to be congruent. No NLP, just honesty and openness. I think this is correct.

OK it's all over Now. Be congruent and don't forget to subscribe to the newsletter. Until next time.

Congruence

Let's talk more about congruence. I remind, that congruence is the level of internal harmony, internal consistency of a person.

The higher this inner harmony, the higher the congruence. If someone simultaneously sends signals that are opposite in meaning, then they speak of incongruence.

One option is when there is a difference between WHAT a person says and HOW he says. And the information sent by the right and left halves of the body may also differ.

– It turns out that it doesn’t matter which hand you wave?

A person’s ability to be incongruent is due to the fact that he has two hemispheres (you learned this at school) – the right (emotional, analog) and the left (logical, discrete).

The right hemisphere is responsible for the left half of the body, the left - for the right.

Criss cross.

Conventionally, all non-verbal information that a person can convey (and this, as you remember, is 5/6 of the total) can be divided into two parts.

MKAI – MonoChannel Analog Information. This is something that a person can demonstrate only with the whole body: breathing, sweating, voice, posture, blushing, etc.

SKAI – Stereo Channel Analog Information. This is the non-verbal information that can be transmitted by the right and left sides of a person (the left and right hemispheres, respectively): movements of the arms, legs, crooked posture (to one side), tilt of the head, asymmetry of the smile, greater muscle tension on only one side...

That is, SKAI can be right and left. When the information transmitted over the right and left SKAI coincides, then they speak of symmetry.

Calibrating Congruence

To determine how congruent a person is calibrate: correspondence between MCAI and content; symmetry.

Congruence shows how consistent what a person wants to communicate to others for reasons of logic and based on feelings is consistent.

For example, if you smile at a child only with the right side of his face, he will most likely not react, if with the left, he will pay attention, if symmetrically, he will most likely smile back.

- And why?

Children have not yet had time to fully comprehend the principles of civilization, and therefore are quite harmonious. And completely unconsciously they perfectly calibrate the differences between what parents tell them “out of duty” and what is sincere. Congruence is, in a sense, the level of a person’s sincerity.

When you smile only with the right side of your face, it comes more from consciousness, from logic (the left (logical) hemisphere is responsible for the right half of the body). And it has little to do with real feelings.

By the way, a right-sided smile is usually quite crooked. And the child ignores it because he understands perfectly well that this is false information.

When you smile only with the left side, it is more truthful and direct. But this also communicates that you consciously do not want to smile. And only a symmetrical, sufficiently congruent smile is evidence that you both think and feel the same.

By the way, a mirror is not suitable for training your smile. In it you see everything upside down - the right becomes left, the left becomes right. You think you smile absolutely wonderfully, but those around you don’t think so at all. Distortion. For such training, it is better to work either with a video camera (but not everyone can afford this) or with people who can give high-quality feedback.

Although you can train anywhere, the most important thing is to carefully calibrate the reactions of others. This is the most wonderful feedback - with people who do not know that they need to react in any special way.

– Can a symmetrical smile also be incongruent?

Generally speaking, yes. You know how Americans smile - a wide, symmetrical smile. BUT! She's frozen. When you see it, you compare it to your idea of ​​what a smile should look like with your map. Russians smile a little differently.

True, much less often.

If you smile spontaneously, your muscles work differently. A “conscious” smile is harder, sharper, and usually does not involve the muscles on the outside of the eyes.

Therefore, if you want to learn to smile truly congruently, then try to start from your own state - find the feelings inside yourself that cause this smile. And when you want to smile “on purpose,” remember these feelings, and not the “correct tension of the lip muscles.” After all, a person smiles with his whole body - his breathing, voice, facial expressions, and movements change. And all this can be seen...

To be honest, I am against rules on a behavioral level: do this and that. If a person is offered only one option of behavior, this deprives him of flexibility, deprives him of choice. And he turns into an automaton. Only earlier this machine, for example, was sad, but now it is sincerely happy. A person is much broader than a consumer goods set of emotions.

Although it would be much more pleasant for me to ride on the subway with people smiling, even if not entirely naturally, than with people with that facial expression that expresses something between endless fatigue and disgust for everything in the world, like ours. Most likely this is cultural - in Russia it is customary, at least in certain circles, to show dissatisfaction with life by all appearances. In the States, for example, it is more common to smile (that very unnatural smile), showing joy and strength. And if you appear on the street with a “Russian” expression on your face, then they may come up to you to find out: “Did something happen?” It is so customary that we are cheerful public place You are only allowed to be intoxicated.

This is probably why they are not allowed on the subway in this state - so as not to spoil the overall picture.

In my opinion, the point is not to be in the same state all the time, even if it’s quite comfortable, but rather in accordance with your state of the situation and your desires. It is not entirely appropriate to appear with an open sweet smile at a funeral.

However, as with the expression of melancholy and suffering at someone’s birthday.

Learn to fit in. It's something like a lock and key: the situation is the lock, and your condition is the key to the lock. This is probably what behavioral flexibility consists of - choosing the most appropriate behavior for the current moment, choosing the key to the lock. And here we will be concerned not so much with finding the most appropriate methods of action as with expanding our behavioral arsenal.

Okay, let's get back to congruence. In a broader sense, this is compliance, and not only internal, but also external. You can talk about whether you sufficiently correspond to the situation, whether your ideas correspond to your actions, etc. True, in Russian they use something else for this no less foreign word– adequacy.

– Does a congruent person have no problems?

When a person has a problem, it will manifest itself in his incongruity. For example, one of the important signs that you have achieved results in working with a client is their increase in symmetry. True, incongruity usually appears only when a person thinks or talks about this problem. So congruence only reports that in this moment"on this topic" internal contradictions No.

Ask someone to tell you about any of their problems - most likely they will immediately become confused.

A problem is an insoluble (yet) contradiction. There is one thing, but you want something else. And this contradiction will manifest itself in incogruence. Some have more, some have less...

– The desire to get more than you have always leads to problems.

Of course not. Contradiction is what drives a person. If there were no contradictions, we would not do anything. The world is changing.

Remember: “Unity and the struggle of opposites”?

Contradictions are the engine that forces us to change as the world changes. It’s just that for some, contradiction is a wall that is impossible to climb over, while for others it is necessary fuel.

Here's a comparison, one says: “I don’t know how to meet girls. I'll never be able to do this. No one will ever love me." Another: “You know, I haven’t been able to meet girls yet. But I want to learn how to do it!”

The situation that both of these people are talking about is the same - they don’t know how to meet girls.

But for one it is a PROBLEM!!!

For others, it’s an opportunity to learn something new, training on obstacles.

The only difference is attitude.

– How to use all this in communication?

And there are at least two possibilities.

On the one hand, you can use this for calibration. The level of congruence indicates the degree of sincerity of a person. How different is what he feels from what he tells you.

– True-false calibration?

Including.

On the other hand, the higher your own congruence, the more they listen to you, the higher the trust in you.

Exercise “Congruence”

In groups of 5 people. One of you speaks and tells something about yourself. Not much, one or two minutes. The rest are calibrated. Moreover, one pair calibrates the correspondence of content and MCAI, and the second – symmetry.

Only, if you calibrate the correspondence between the MCAI and the content, you will have to focus more on your own experience - on how these experiences usually manifest themselves in people. Well, if possible, try to calibrate this specific person in the right condition.

When you calibrate symmetry, it’s simpler here - you simply compare clearly noticeable things with each other: movements of the right and left hand, redness of the right and left sides of the face...

Symmetry does not mean that they move in perfect sync. The right one went, at the same time the left one went... No. It's just that the number of movements and their type should be relatively the same. For example - if right hand constantly moving, and the left one hangs like a whip - it’s asymmetrical. But even if the right one moves smoothly, and the left one moves jerkily, and at the same time is tense, this is also asymmetrical.

When the Speaker finishes, he is given feedback on what and where, from the point of view of the audience, was incongruent. After this, the Speaker is given one more attempt, then feedback again. Then the last, third attempt, and at the end of it there is also a very short answer from the audience about the level of congruence. Total, only three attempts.

Then change roles.

– Why are there so many calibrators?

The more feedback, the better. It is optimal for 7–9 people to work, but this will take a very long time, so for now there are only four.

– When a person talks about his problems, he really sharply loses congruence. Moreover, it is enough to simply remember the problem.

– There was usually a simultaneous loss of symmetry and congruence in MCAI and content.

Yes, it's good that you noticed this. After all, MKAI with SKAI is a conditional separation in order to make it easier to calibrate.

– What, a person might not have problems?

Quite. If he does not want more than what he has, or does not treat this contradiction as a problem. Because of this, difficulties may arise, for example, in those psychological areas where it is simply determined in advance what should be a problem and what should not. And if the therapist is convinced of the truth of this model, he can convince his client of this as well. A person is quite flexible, and if he can prove congruently and convincingly enough that he is sick and that there is “something wrong” with his head, then with a high degree of probability he can organize this problem for himself.

Until I knew it was a pathology, everything was fine...

Are you tormented by erotic dreams?

Well, why do they torture...

From an NLP point of view, only the person himself can determine whether something is a problem for him or not. You can help him realize this, but he decides on his own. Because there is no one else.

– What is the difference between being helped to recognize a problem, or convincing a person of its existence?

It’s just that in the first case there are obvious external signs the presence of a problem (for example, incongruence), and the person at a certain level knows about the presence of a conflict, but in the second, the problem is created artificially, simply because the therapist is convinced of it.

– That is, the only question is whose card is taken as a basis – the therapist’s or the client’s.

One could say so.

Telegram: “Doctor, I feel great! Explain why immediately?”

– What to do in the case when a person harms others, but does not perceive it as a problem?

As I understand it, this is a problem for those whom he “harms.” Another thing is that he may simply not know that his actions are interfering with someone. And then you can tell him about it. As a result, he will have a problem too.

In short...

1. Trust = Adjustment + Congruence.

2. Congruence is the level of internal harmony, consistency of different aspects of a person’s personality.

3. All non-verbal information can be divided into two parts: what a person can demonstrate only with the whole body (MCAI), and what can be transmitted by the right and left sides of a person separately (SCAI).

4. In order to determine how congruent a person is, the correspondence between the MCAI and the content, as well as symmetry, is calibrated.

Congruence– (lat. congruens, -ntis - proportionate, appropriate), in psychology: a state of integrity; receipt of truthful information; coordinated actions proceeding verbally and non-verbally. A congruent person is a sincere person who is not caught in lies. For example, when we communicate, we can notice the correspondence between the external state and internal reality. This concept of congruence was introduced by Carl Rogers. An example of incongruity can be pretense or deception. They are confused with hypocrisy and duplicity.

Congruence theory

The person who is being incongruent may not even be aware of it. This occurs in times of anger or stress or confusion. The person, at that moment, really thinks so. And we notice it, but don’t pay attention to it great attention, we understand and forgive. But it happens that a person deliberately tries to deceive, puts on some kind of mask. Then we begin to treat him differently.

Congruence in communication

You want to maintain communication with a congruent person and have a business relationship. We are almost always confident in the veracity of his words. We have no doubts about his insincerity. Remember your attitude towards a small child.

When dealing with suspicious people, always pay attention to external indicators. Quite often, scammers give themselves away in a non-verbal way. Compare with what you hear, and then you will be attentive and focused. As a result, they are not deceived. The principle of congruence is to be honest, both with yourself and with others. People around me feel insincerity. This needs to be understood. In any profession, congruent people are highly valued.

Congruence in communication

Every day to improve ourselves we need to develop. If a sloppy congruent person continues to quarrel in his apartment and on the street, he will never achieve success. Because in every action we show ourselves. Just as it is at home and in our family, so it is at work and with friends. Try to develop a healthy habit. And so, one by one, develop others, replacing the bad ones.

Educating yourself is necessary for communication. Be honest and neat. They compromise with such people, they win you over and interest you.

Being congruent is not difficult. Everything starts small. If you want to achieve this from others, start with yourself:

The absence or presence of congruence in an individual’s behavior is not always realized by him, but is almost always felt by others. Congruent people are pleasant and easy to communicate with if they are friendly. But it is possible to experience the exact opposite feeling when a congruent person is in a state of anger.

What is congruence

The term "congruence", authored by Carl Rogers, is translated from Latin as consistency, conformity, consistency. This is a state in which a person’s words fully coincide with his actions. Synonymous words for congruence are authenticity and authenticity. In every science this term has its own specific concept..

• Congruence in psychology is a person’s acceptance of his real feelings, problems and experiences, and their subsequent voicing without the use of psychological defense. In a state of congruence, a person is free and does not hide himself behind a mask. Gives himself and others the opportunity to perceive him as he really is.
• In religion, congruence is called the state of God, bliss, and “chi” energy. Sometimes, to achieve this state, certain rituals, mantras and other actions are used that help achieve a congruent state.
• Congruence is also characterized separately in anatomy. This is an absolute correspondence of the shapes of the contacting articular surfaces.
• Congruence in mathematics means the equality of all angles, figures, and segments.

Examples of congruent and incongruent communication

Congruence can be considered not only as a fact in psychology, but also as characteristics of communication.

An example of congruent behavior: absolute sincerity, a state of harmony and integrity. The man does says and feels the same. He never lies, communicates without falsehood, is sincere and attractive, can always find mutual language with everyone.

An example of incongruence is lying, flattery, situations in which a sad person says that he is having fun and feels joyful, but in fact he is not (contradicting himself). Incongruent people always fake it, there is no sincerity in their words, they have a repulsive effect on others.

Causes of incongruity

One of the reasons for incongruent behavior is desire to appear better to others. A person tries to make an impression using actions that are inappropriate for his state. For example, he raises his voice intonation and makes extra efforts. He can do this both consciously and unconsciously.

The second reason is desire to demonstrate high status, which in fact does not exist. The person does not like his current status and resists it, so he behaves incongruently. Initially, he manages to play such a role, but after a certain time he no longer succeeds. This is where internal resistance arises.

Benefits of Congruence

Congruence gives an individual a number of advantages:

• Be yourself, natural and real
• Don't give in to other people's pressure and don't feel it
• Experience healthy emotions
• Feel good and relaxed
• Be attractive to people around you

In addition, congruent behavior gives a person clear self-confidence, which is achieved through actions consistent with emotions and thoughts. This is very important and will be big a plus in many areas of life. For example:

Very important in business e be able to negotiate with partners. And the entrepreneur’s congruence will be a big plus

• Public performance

In this case, this quality is very useful, because the main task of the speaker is convince listeners in something

• Personal life

The strongest relationships are those built on sincerity and trust. And only a congruent person can achieve this.

How to Achieve Congruence

To achieve a congruent state you need:

• be honest to the people around you and to yourself first of all
• communicate with people easily, without making unnecessary efforts
• be as natural as possible
• do not adapt to someone else’s style of conversation and do not copy other people’s words
• do not change the intonation of your voice unnecessarily during a conversation
• accept your current state and not resist it
• show your emotional state, allow emotions to manifest themselves

To develop congruent behavior there is one thing good exercise , which is called “non-resistance”. To complete it, you need to go to a quiet place and just communicate with people there. Don't resist anything and be completely yourself.

​ The point of the exercise is that when you feel the need to do something you don’t want to do, you still don’t do it. For example, you feel nervous and habitually want to hide it, but you don’t hide it, because now you do and show what you feel at a given moment in time. You allow nervousness to come out non-verbally, that is, through gestures. The benefit of this exercise is that now the person is not in the role of someone, but simply real.

Achieving congruent behavior should be a goal of personality development. But in the very process of development, a person will be faced with new forms of behavior that are uncharacteristic for him, with a new self that does not correspond to his old self. At first glance, it may seem that the actions, on the contrary, are incongruent. But over time, a person will come to a level where such forms of behavior become the norm and congruence will be achieved.

Congruence is consistency different elements, objects, components of any structure, their coordinated work and compliance with each other, thanks to which harmonious work and integrity of the overall structure are achieved. This definition is generalized, as it is understood in a broad sense, i.e. its application in various fields of activity and sciences: communication, psychology, mathematics, philosophy, sociology.

Congruence is a synonym - consistency, coincidence, correspondence, proportionality, comparability.

The concept of congruence as a term has its origins in English language, from where it was borrowed by compatriots for use, since there is no analogue of this term. The concept of congruence is most popular in psychology. Practical psychology interprets the term congruence as a harmonious functional action of certain components, characteristics, structures of a person’s life, which provides an overall harmonious picture of a person’s actions. This meaning refers to the congruence of verbal and nonverbal information, promises and actions, internal state and external behavior, life goals and their fulfillment. Congruence mainly manifests itself in the consistency of the external manifestation of actions inner feelings.

The congruence of a person is determined by his ability to understand his feelings and experiences and express them in behavior with himself and with others. Congruence also manifests itself when the value judgments of two people in relation to some object or object converge.

What is congruence

The term congruence, which is actively used in various sciences, comes from the Latin congruens, which means coinciding, proportional, also means conformity and correspondence.

Congruence is in mathematics a term that denotes the equality of angles, segments, and various figures.

Congruence in Geometry This is a concept from elementary science, its properties can be described by the corresponding axioms, hence the axioms of congruence. Two figures are congruent if at least one of them has the ability to move into the other using movement.

Congruence in physics is understood as the quantitative equivalence of qualitative equivalent states of a process or phenomenon.

Similar to congruence is the concept of authenticity, which refers to authenticity and truthfulness, in this case the truthfulness of acting in accordance with one's thoughts and attitudes.

Congruence of a personality gives her the opportunity to do absolutely everything, speak, breathe, live in accordance with her own values ​​and rules. If a person looks peaceful on the outside and his soul is calm, then he is congruent. You can also easily observe the congruence of a person in his conversation - if what he says is harmoniously correlated with the form in which he says it. In the process of congruence, there is a non-judgmental acceptance and awareness by the individual of his current feelings, worries and problems, which are later expressed in conversation and behavior, in ways that do not have a traumatic impact on others.

So what is congruence? This is the dynamic state of a person when he is free and truthful, does not feel the need for psychological protection, hiding, putting on masks.

Congruence occurs when feelings inner world accurately reflected human consciousness and are manifested in behavior when you can perceive people as they really are.

Congruence in communication means a special mode of activity of the facilitator. Congruence expands the boundaries of understanding between partners and makes communication more understandable and clear, since a person trusts the interlocutor, and he does not need to include a defensive reaction, he listens attentively to his partner, without being distracted by defending himself. When a person sees that he is treated with greater trust and absolute understanding, he himself becomes more congruent and focused on more open communication. As a result of such communication, the personality can change, become more congruent, holistic, active and capable of resolving many internal conflicts, which saves energy for more relaxed behavior in communication.

Congruence in communication means that even one interlocutor who masters it can contribute to much better mutual understanding, bringing partners closer together, improving and optimizing their communication.

Congruence in psychologists helps to express the true feelings and sincerity of the consultant towards the client. This process is very important, because the client will trust the psychologist, and it will be easier for him to look into the client’s soul.

It also talks about the opposite feeling, that is, incongruence; it can be observed if a person feels a discrepancy between his actions and true thoughts. It can be seen on a person’s face, when, for example, it is unpleasant for him to do something, but he must, then his face, naturally, will not express joy. There are also projections from one person onto another when it seems to him that he is incongruent, although this may not be the case. You can simply misunderstand the meaning of the actions and completely misinterpret his actions.

It is also necessary to explain where incongruity comes from. Because they demonstrate status in their behavior, they try to surpass their interlocutor, although often in reality, there is absolutely nothing behind these praises. A person may behave this way for some time, even correspond to a false status, but such a game does not last for a long time. And the reason here is that a person has no high status, and he understands it, and he doesn’t like it and he resists it. So, internal resistance appears when a person resists true, natural feelings, he becomes incongruent.

Around the half of the twentieth century, various scientists began broader research into the characteristics of social behavior, and so different theories emerged that denote human behavior in society.

Among them are Heider's theory of structural balance, Newman's theory of communicative acts, Festinger's theory, Osgood and Tannenbaum's theory of congruence, which was developed completely separately from the others. Osgood and Tannenbaum proposed the term congruence as a replacement for Heider's concept of balance and Festinger's concept of consonance.

Osgood and Tannenbaum's theory of congruence is that in order to achieve balance in the cognitive system of the perceiving subject, he must simultaneously change his attitude towards the relational partner and towards the object that matters to the two of them and is evaluated by both of them.

The theory of Osgood and Tannenbaum differs in that it attempts to predict the change in attitude that occurs in a person under the influence of the desire to establish consistency within the cognitive system to two objects at once, if we talk about a triad. This theory is most often used in mass communications, hence the example in this area. When a recipient gives a positive assessment to a communicator who gives a positive assessment to some object that the recipient himself evaluates negatively, then incongruity arises in his cognitive system, since on the two sides of the assessment - his own and the positively perceived assessment of the communicator, they do not coincide.

The way out of this situation is to change the recipient’s attitude towards the communicator’s personality and towards the subject of assessment at the same time. Osgood and Tannenbaum introduce specific concepts: “associative statements” and “dissociative statements” for their application in the semantic differential technique, used in the study of social stereotypes and then applied to the theory of congruence.

Newman's theory of communicative acts states that for an individual who is in a state of discomfort, which is caused by inconsistency in relationships towards a partner and also towards the subject of their common interest, it may be a way to overcome this discomfort in the imbalance - improving communicative acts between people, in the process of which the position of one of the partners changes and agreement is achieved.

All these theories sound different, but essentially explain the same thing. Therefore, we can trace the fundamental idea of ​​all cognitive theories. The main idea that scientists pursue in their theories is that the cognitive side of the personality cannot be disharmonious or unbalanced; if it is, then there is immediately a tendency to make changes in some way to correct this condition and restore the internal balance of the cognitive system .

Congruence is in psychology

In psychology, congruence means the correspondence of external manifestations to the internal feelings of a person.

In psychology, congruence is a person’s behavior that expresses his internal emotional state and drives, brings experiences of integrity, a surge of strong energy, and a feeling of comfort. This is manifested by nonverbal reactions: consistency of actions and facial expressions, words and intonations, movements and their compliance with the situation.

Congruence in psychology, as a term was introduced by psychologist Carl Rogers in his person-centered psychotherapy.

Congruence in the interpretation of K. Rogers represents the correspondence of the ideal “I” of a person, and the consistency of the “I” and experiences in the life of an individual and also describes it as a dynamic state of a psychologist, structural elements of the psyche (attitudes, feelings, experiences, emotions) and life experience which can be freely and adequately released in relations with the client. And unlike feelings, a person experiences his own feelings and opens them, showing them to others absolutely sincerely.

In Rogers' theory, congruence is completely different from sociological theories. He personally defined the term congruence, in his interpretation, it represents the correspondence of personal experiences and consciousness, you can also add communication here, that is, the correspondence of experience, consciousness together with communication, and so you can add emotions, feelings and other categories of human life that are important and can relate to experience and consciousness.

Along with the description of his theory, Rogers also provides an illustrative example for better understanding. For example, a person in a dispute experiences obvious irritation and this immediately affects his behavior and physiological reactions. Although he himself says that he is calm and simply defends his point of view. The discrepancy between feelings and self-perceptions is clearly manifested here. Also a very simple example: a person came to a party without company, did not meet anyone, so he was bored the whole evening and he understood this perfectly well, but when he said goodbye to the owner, he said that he had a great time and was not bored at all. This is an example of congruence between experience and notification. This kind of incongruity is very similar to lying. But by performing such an act, a person seems to protect himself from unnecessary reactions.

If a person very often acts in this way, talks about one thing, but thinks about something completely different, that is, very often mismatched, incongruent, he puts himself at risk of a serious disorder in understanding himself, his feelings, desires and thoughts, and will require psychotherapeutic influence to maintain integrity. This person will have to rediscover himself as he is, pay attention to his feelings and learn how to recognize them and act on them. A full-fledged healthy personality is always congruent, this indicates her mental health, the adequacy of her perception of herself and other people. A congruent person, even if he understands that, for example, he is worried about some feelings in relation to some object, he will always show them or talk about them, if this is in relation to a person, he will try to make contact and somehow then he will share his feelings in order to figure out the reason for his worries.

Congruence should be a quality inherent in people in the profession who interact with colleagues or clients. When a teacher is congruent, he is open in his relationships with students. He is the way he is in life and he is not influenced by any factors that would make him an ordinary teacher, who only sees his task as dryly giving the material and leaving it at that. A congruent teacher admires the success of his students, their knowledge, ideas, thoughts, and if he also does not like something in the behavior of his students, he will immediately tell them about it, will not harbor anger towards them, but will clearly make it clear what he thinks and how they should behave. He will be cold if he feels that way, and positive and warm in attitude if he feels like it. There is no need for him to lie to his students, since lies create new lie, and doesn’t want them to lie and deceive him too. He understands his feelings and the actions associated with them; he does not need to project them onto his students. Because he's alive and interesting person, who wants to teach his students to be the same, and not an impersonal being programmed to put knowledge into the heads of students who are sometimes completely resistant to teaching.

Such congruence in psychology is considered very tempting, because it means that a person can behave as he pleases, say whatever he wants, show coldness, ignore, openly show hostility, aggression, because the outlet of these emotions is outward, and not hiding them within oneself makes a person a psychologically healthy person. No matter how it is. If all people behaved the way they wanted and said whatever they wanted, the world would be pure chaos. But thanks to the norms and rules of society, value orientation In society, a person becomes educated, learns to adequately express his emotions and restrain inappropriate feelings, sometimes demonstrates opposite feelings if there is a need to hide the true ones. If a person knows how to speak as she thinks, but at the same time thinks about what exactly to say, how to correctly convey information so that it does not go beyond socially acceptable boundaries, she is full and healthy. But there are still people who cannot adapt to the rules of society; their behavior is called behavior that deviates from the norms of society.

Congruence gives a person certain advantages. A person can allow himself to be himself, to be at ease, to design himself, and not allow others to put pressure on him. A congruent person has a healthy emotional system, because he gives emotions a natural and adequate outlet, thanks to this the person feels good, he is relaxed, and does not get stressed over trifles, does not waste energy on coming up with excuses for himself, an explanation for his actions. A congruent person knows how to present and express himself competently, sincerely and in the right light. Every action of such a person is consistent with his thoughts, emotions, experiences and life, in which everything goes in its own order.

To achieve congruence, it is necessary, most importantly, to be honest with yourself, your experiences, emotions and sincerely express them in relation to others. When communicating with others, there is no need to offer excessive efforts, to prove something; it is better to spend this energy on improving oneself, on self-improvement. You need to be as natural as possible, within the limits of what is allowed. When communicating with other people, you don’t need to think about the tone of your voice and how to adapt to the manner of someone else’s voice. You need to accept your current state completely and not hide your sincere emotions.