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Cool horoscope for all zodiac signs. Sagittarius - It’s impossible to be angry with me! Comic horoscope for Virgo |
This fun, humorous horoscope for today according to the zodiac signs can be used every day. Open this page every morning and good mood for the whole day guaranteed in full! And for everyone who believes in happiness, we recommend reading our happy eastern horoscope by year of birth with recommendations from astrologers and poets. All our serious and cheerful horoscopes were written specifically for the “Favorite Holiday” website. Share them with friends, put links, but respect our authors - do not reprint our horoscopes. Thank you. Cool, fun horoscope for today for AriesBe active and decisive. First, try doing some exercise. So that your work does not go in vain, remember: if people are valued by their work, then a horse is better than any person. Cool, fun horoscope for today for TaurusBe careful. Before you do anything, think it through. Measure seven times and only then cut eight times. The seventy-first time you will succeed. The stars do not advise kissing your secretary in the presence of your wife. DID YOU LIKE THE HOROSCOPE? DO YOU WANT A GOOD MOOD EVERY DAY?! PUT ON YOUR PAGE ON SOCIAL NETWORKS! Cool, fun horoscope for today for GeminiNew things await you. Remember: even the stupidest idea can be executed masterfully. And don't be afraid to do what you don't know how to do. After all, the ark was built by amateurs. Professionals built the Titanic. DID YOU LIKE THE HOROSCOPE? DO YOU WANT A GOOD MOOD EVERY DAY?! PUT ON YOUR PAGE ON SOCIAL NETWORKS! Cool, fun horoscope for today for CancerLife is good... hic... Repeat this, spreading red caviar on the bread in a thick layer. Or black. But don’t rush to pour vodka. Remember: alcohol is a time machine. I drank and it's tomorrow. DID YOU LIKE THE HOROSCOPE? DO YOU WANT A GOOD MOOD EVERY DAY?! PUT ON YOUR PAGE ON SOCIAL NETWORKS! Cool, fun horoscope for today for LeoTalk less, listen more. It’s better to remain silent and grunt with pleasure. Your income will be higher than your expenses. Because there will be no expenses at all. Get a piggy bank and grunt together. DID YOU LIKE THE HOROSCOPE? DO YOU WANT A GOOD MOOD EVERY DAY?! PUT ON YOUR PAGE ON SOCIAL NETWORKS! Cool, non-boring horoscope for today for VirgoYou will be thrown from one extreme to another. First, the boss will call you on the carpet and scream like a pack of crocodiles. In five minutes, he will offer you the position that you have been seeking for a long time. Agree! DID YOU LIKE THE HOROSCOPE? DO YOU WANT A GOOD MOOD EVERY DAY?! PUT ON YOUR PAGE ON SOCIAL NETWORKS! Cool, non-boring horoscope for today for LibraYou will be on horseback. Everyone else will probably have to travel on foot. You may feel out of place. The stars advise you to break the plate, get off the horse, break the plate, get off the horse and finally exchange it... for a bicycle. DID YOU LIKE THE HOROSCOPE? DO YOU WANT A GOOD MOOD EVERY DAY?! PUT ON YOUR PAGE ON SOCIAL NETWORKS! Cool, fun horoscope for today for ScorpioYou will have a romantic date. Enjoy, forgetting about everything in the world.... When Sveta starts getting ready to go home, pretend to be asleep. DID YOU LIKE THE HOROSCOPE? DO YOU WANT A GOOD MOOD EVERY DAY?! PUT ON YOUR PAGE ON SOCIAL NETWORKS! Cool, fun horoscope for today for SagittariusYour mood will jump. From TV to cabinet, from cabinet to table. Try to catch him anyway. Stand somewhere in the corner and ask: “Kolis! Who are you working for?!” DID YOU LIKE THE HOROSCOPE? DO YOU WANT A GOOD MOOD EVERY DAY?! PUT ON YOUR PAGE ON SOCIAL NETWORKS! Cool, fun horoscope for today for CapricornYour sixth sense will not let you down. It will say: "Enough!" The other five senses will fail. They will say something absurd, but you will understand them. Because after the fifth glass, a Russian person is able not only to understand the Chinese language, but also to forgive it. DID YOU LIKE THE HOROSCOPE? DO YOU WANT A GOOD MOOD EVERY DAY?! PUT ON YOUR PAGE ON SOCIAL NETWORKS! Cool, not boring horoscope for today for AquariusEverything will be given to you with ease. Even a visit to the dentist. At first you will be very afraid. Then it turns out that his drill is broken. But don’t relax and remember: if you are happy for more than one day, it means they are hiding something from you. DID YOU LIKE THE HOROSCOPE? DO YOU WANT A GOOD MOOD EVERY DAY?! PUT ON YOUR PAGE ON SOCIAL NETWORKS! Cool, fun horoscope for today for PiscesA creative upsurge lies ahead of you. Stock up on climbing equipment in advance. Already stocked up?.. Then full speed ahead! To conquer the next height!... Just don’t shout later" “Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawonsssssssss from being a chess player" DID YOU LIKE THE HOROSCOPE? DO YOU WANT A GOOD MOOD EVERY DAY?! PUT ON YOUR PAGE ON SOCIAL NETWORKS! ATTENTION! REPRINTING IS PROHIBITED! ARIES21.03 TO 20.04 Aries - Star Ram (or Sheep) - has brilliant positive inclinations and hard work, but he is often irritable, stubborn and hot-tempered. The heat of his passions knows no bounds, and his desire to insist on his own can turn into despotism. He is impulsive and unpredictable. CALFfrom 21.04 TO 21.05 A healthy and mercantile boor, Taurus achieves his goal through perseverance and patience. Doesn't give up on things he has planned. Rarely listens to advice and can suddenly act ahead. He is more guided by feelings than by reason. TWINSfrom 22.05 TO 21.06 from 22.06 TO 22.07 Cancers are self-absorbed losers and fatalists who do not believe that they can change their lives. This leads them to passivity, laziness and inertia. from 23.07 TO 23.08 Of course, not everyone is called to rule the empire and the world, but those born under the Sign of Leo have the greatest chance of leadership. Leos are called to both rule and love. They are deeply unhappy if they are not bowed down to. They are noble when it does not destroy their charisma of power. The world for Leo is a huge stage on which a play written for his dramatic talent is played out. His unattainable arrogance can poison anyone's life. VIRGOfrom 24.08 TO 23.09 Those born under the Virgo sign are intelligent and have an analytical mind, but they have too much opinion of themselves. In others he values only erudition, and therefore often loses friends. To be happy, Virgos often lack ease of communication, although many people born under this Sign have achieved high results in their chosen activities. Of course, a comic horoscope based on zodiac signs has a right to life. Some people believe that such horoscopes are unreliable, however, by reading short, sparkling characteristics, they recognize themselves and their friends. Exactly cool horoscope according to the signs of the zodiac, he calls things by their proper names. If you have a sense of humor, read it! Cool horoscope according to the zodiac signs of the element of FireThe Ram is always right, he knows the price of everything, it’s easier to shoot him than to argue. Impeccably honest. If a suit doesn’t suit you or you’re overweight, he’ll tell you honestly about it. In everyday life he is usually useless, but he generates brilliant ideas to match Sagittarius. Leo - cool horoscope according to zodiac signs People are divided into two types - those close to them and everyone else. He is an egoist, but he is forgiven for his holy belief in his own impeccability. The best in everything! He makes it clear to his marriage partner that it came to him along with the status of the lion’s chosen one. Unarmed in the face of flattery, with the help of which one can twist ropes out of the Leo zodiac sign. Sagittarius - a comic horoscope for the zodiac sign Sagittarius readily expresses his opinions even when he is advised to hold his tongue. But the mouth of the Sagittarius zodiac sign does not close, because his personal opinion should become the truth for everyone. A lucky sign in life! Sagittarius has a lot of friends who, if something happens, will not let him disappear. Comic horoscope according to the zodiac signs of the Earth elementMore stubborn than Aries, just stubborn, but not an innovator, boring and greedy. It doesn't have this charming sheepish indifference and... The zodiac sign Taurus is an unsurpassed slow-witted person. Lustful. Constant in affections. Distrustful and wary of new people, but will stand up for old friends. Virgo - comic horoscope by zodiac sign Capricorn - a cool horoscope about zodiac signs Happiness can only be achieved in one way - by breaking in like hell. The meaning of his life is in work. At first he seems meek, but at the first opportunity he will give you a noticeable poke. He receives the greatest pleasure if he manages to do this with Leo, whom he cannot stand for his arrogance. Leo responds to him in kind, cannot stand this dirty trick, and if at the moment of the poke Leo is not in the mood, the zodiac sign Capricorn must immediately run away, otherwise things will end badly. Comic horoscope according to the zodiac signs of the air elementTwins No one realizes how difficult it is for the Gemini zodiac sign to survive in this huge world of opportunities! Choice is Gemini's obsessive nightmare. They always feel like life is passing them by, even if they get caught up in events. Libra - cool horoscope according to zodiac signs Libras consider themselves aesthetes, are unreliable, have seven Fridays a week, and are yearning, which is unattainable in principle for the Libra zodiac sign, because they are in constant dissonance between reality and what they want. They are indecisive, and therefore suffer from nervous ailments. Aquarius - a comic horoscope for the zodiac sign Looks like it fell from an oak tree. Oddly enough, many people like this. Even if in the life of the Aquarius zodiac sign everything goes wrong, he manages to give advice that works! Potential criminal. There is no Aquarius without a criminal past; he breaks the law with pleasure and, unlike Gemini, he understands perfectly well what he is doing. Cool horoscope for the zodiac signs of WaterThere is no sign more suspicious than Cancer! Constantly imagines the end of the world, is afraid of his own shadow, falls into hysterics and seeks consolation from Virgo. Disgust. He bores those around him with conversations about his illnesses, which is why everyone except Taurus runs away in horror. Has a penchant for philosophy and alcoholism. The first, as well as the second, is contraindicated for the Cancer zodiac sign. According to eastern horoscope, 2018 will be held under the auspices of the yellow Dog. Comic horoscope for 2018 will tell you what to expect different signs zodiac from animal. Comic horoscope for 2018 for AriesIt's time for all Aries to put work on the backburner and say to themselves: “Hello, rest!” These guys worked really hard in the Year of the Rooster, it’s time to take a break and devote themselves to other areas of activity. Get yourself in order, powder your nose, take your significant other on your arm - and go ahead and look for adventures. Fortunately, as the comic horoscope for 2018 predicts, the Yellow Dog is ready to forgive you everything. Attention! Don’t forget about your loved ones, they also need your attention - you can’t spend all your time in a stuffy office and with boring colleagues. Definitely, next year Aries is the center of the Universe, the world revolves around you. But be careful with fans: there is a risk that someone will want to steal your heart seriously and for a long time. Don’t try to dive headlong into feelings. A dog will not help a drowning person, so remain vigilant. Comic horoscope for 2018 for TaurusTaurus, are you ready to lose your head? As the comic horoscope 2018 predicts according to the zodiac signs, the Year of the Dog is preparing something mind-blowing for you; quickly hide your horns, otherwise you may scare the animal. It's time to leave your slowness for later and get used to the frantic rhythm, so that you don't have to wait long for the desired results of your scams. Millions of praise and flattering words will be addressed to the representatives of the sign, no criticism, only charm. What can we say about luck, it will hold Taurus’s arm throughout the next year and accompany them at all important events. Have you dreamed of eternal mutual love? And here! The dog has already managed to prepare for Taurus a meeting with their other half. Looking forward to the sweet taste of the future in 2018? It's about time! Comic horoscope for 2018 for GeminiThe comic horoscope for 2018 according to the signs states that it is time to gather all the will and strength into a fist and start changing your life. Hey, Gemini, stop lying on the couch and waiting for something to change, get up quickly and get rid of all the unnecessary junk and bad thoughts. The dog has prepared many good opportunities for self-realization for representatives of the sign. Stay positive, change is just around the corner. If you think about something for a long time, you can end up in the soup, as happened in the story with the rooster. Don't waste time, more action - less talk. And the Dog, for his good efforts, will help Gemini experience the taste of true bliss. And if love is long-term, no more five-minute crushes on public transport, under the auspices of the Dog only in the registry office. Comic horoscope for 2018 for suspicious CancersCancers were too mysterious and depressive, and the Dog came to change everything. Successes and new opportunities will fall into your claws themselves; all you have to do is grab them tightly and not let go. After all, the Yellow Dog doesn’t give everything for nothing, so it’s time for representatives of the sign to break stereotypes and change life principles, after all, the 21st century is just around the corner. According to the comic horoscope for 2018, the Dog has prepared a sweet surprise for persistent and obedient Cancers in relationships. Tired of loneliness? Be ready to meet that very person who will gracefully enter your life and share your interests. Don't claw, otherwise you'll scare everyone around you. Comic horoscope for 2018 for LeoNo matter what Leos do, things don’t work out? And all because, according to the comic horoscope, in 2018 you should put aside your excessive pride, and then the Yellow Dog will reward the representatives of the sign with worthy fruits. Popularity, excessive attention and many fans will fall on Leo’s shoulders like snow. However, this is not new for Leos, because they are used to basking in the rays of glory. With their chic and lush mane, Lions will conquer more than one lonely heart; the prey itself will fall into the clutches of the king of beasts. You just need to reconsider your relationships with your loved ones; they are unlikely to like your wild ardor and pride, and the Yellow Dog also does not like selfish people. Comic horoscope for VirgoIn 2018, the comic horoscope recommends that Virgos discard their mask of an unfortunate victim, otherwise the Dog may simply pass you by. From January itself, take matters into your own hands and begin to work fruitfully both on yourself and on your well-being, because this month will decide the outcome of the entire next year. The Dog will reward diligent Virgos with all the blessings and boundless happiness. But in love it is worth observing complete peace: there will be no end to the fans, the main thing is to choose a worthy candidate for a future together. Comic horoscope for LibraIn 2018, it’s time for representatives of the sign to forget about their own impulsiveness, but watch their speech. Inadvertently spoken words addressed to your superiors, work colleagues or loved ones can have a bad impact on your reputation, and the Dog will not be able to pull you out of the fog of reproaches. The dog advises you to listen to what Libra is saying. Good words don’t always sound sincere, be careful. Communicate only with those who pull you forward, and not to the deep dark bottom. And stop weighing everything so carefully, otherwise you will be left with nothing, while your neighbor is already purchasing a new car. Comic horoscope for ScorpiosThe comic horoscope for 2018 for all signs promises Scorpios incredible wealth, love and good luck, if representatives of the sign stop stinging everyone. Energy will flow like a river, inspiring Scorpios to do new things and crazy things. These guys will achieve the desired career growth at any cost, even if they have to stick out their sting. Carefully! Don't joke with Scorpios! It’s time for representatives of the sign to melt their selfish hearts and show sensitivity, because without this the Dog will not be able to help preserve harmony in personal life. Forget about narcissism, otherwise the patroness of the year may accidentally forget about you. Comic horoscope for SagittariusWhat reward can Sagittarius expect in 2018? Of course, “Adviser of the Year”, because the wisdom of these guys is simply off the charts. They are ready to help anyone, for this the Dog certainly will not remain indifferent to the representatives of the sign. However, while helping others, you should not forget about yourself. Other people's problems are someone else's, but it's time to worry about your own too. Success in the financial sector is inevitable, you can safely change jobs and throw banknotes left and right - but be careful. Parties, unbridled fun and a lot of entertainment await Sagittarius, but don’t forget about sleep: with bags under your eyes, you may not notice the love of your life walking somewhere nearby. Comic horoscope for CapricornsIn 2018, point your horns towards your goals: great success is close and any obstacles can be jumped over. Forget about melancholy and boredom, the Dog has something to please the representatives of the sign - this is success both in finances and in personal life. Cupid is already aiming straight at your heart and will shoot at it in 2018. Capricorns will drown in an ocean of love and attention, what else is needed for happiness? These guys know how to love and deserve love forever. Even if not, don’t be upset, any relationship is also an experience. Comic horoscope for AquariusWho knows, these guys know how to spill water. And in 2018 they will be ready to pour out a stream of their endless ideas and creative impulses to the broad masses, and all thanks to the Dog with her inspiration for the representatives of the sign. It is better to take action and direct the stream of water in the right direction, then the result will be appropriate. The eastern patroness also prepares surprises for Aquarius in their personal lives. A waterfall of love and passion will completely cover the representatives of the water element, just don’t forget to breathe so as not to lose your mind. And stop being so jealous, it's time to learn to trust your soulmate. Comic horoscope for Pisces2018 is the most favorable year for Pisces to finally leave their usual aquarium and move to other water spaces. After all, as long as you can sit in one place, swim around and around, boldly swim forward and swim faster to your goals, and the Yellow Dog only accompanies these actions. All the sea treasures will be yours as soon as you decide to go out into the world and conquer others. But for single Pisces, the coming year 2018 is simply ideal for dizzying novels, perhaps long-term ones. Be prepared, Cupid won't miss. Comic horoscope for 2018 for schoolchildren and childrenThe comic horoscope for children for 2018 has prepared something very special - homework, of course, not the same as school, but also important. All children of the zodiac signs should be more active both in school life and extracurricular activities. Then good grades will flow like a river, and there will be sweets not only on holidays. Get creative and improve school processes, automatic cheat sheet scattering or a new cheating technique will also work. But at the same time, study, study, study - and praise will fall on your young shoulders, and then, look, gold medals are close. Be careful, otherwise you will have to wash the floor and wipe the dust in the classroom all year. Comic horoscope in verse for 2018Let's start with Aries for a comic horoscope in verse for 2018 These guys don't care When do Taurus people know how to relax? And only the best is selected. And with Gemini you will never get bored, They are always the soul of the company. Cancers will spend a year without adversity, They will devote time to love all the time. And Leos with their beautiful words Ready to conquer anyone. Happiness will knock on the Virgos' house, The dog will come rushing with good news. Many wonderful hours await In the year of the Dog of wise Libra. It is better for Scorpios to hide their sting, So as not to annoy Fortune. And it’s time for Sagittarius to forget About despondency and everyday life. Note to Capricorns: Don't swear incessantly. Aquarians act more boldly Grab your lucky chance faster. But Pisces will have to Live a year without sorrows and grievances. Each holiday is good and interesting in its own way. But usually at any holiday it all comes down to the fact that almost 99% of the attention is paid to the hero of the occasion: the hero of the day or the newlyweds or the birthday boy. What about the guests? They came to have fun and have fun! We haven't forgotten about them, and have prepared an interesting game block: a comic astrological forecast for guests at the anniversary. This forecast can be presented in different ways. The most obvious option is for an astrologer to come out and read out his forecast for each guest or zodiac sign. A gypsy can also come out, but here questions arise - where is the gypsy so smart that she understands astrology? Therefore, a gypsy would not be very appropriate in such a block. The third option is reading astrological forecast the presenter himself. This is in case it is not possible to make a scene with changing clothes. There may be other options, but they are not so obvious. How to display this number is up to you. Below we will provide you with some humorous predictions that you can use on anniversaries. Comic horoscope 1. “Today (the date of the anniversary, the stars predict for us a great festive evening! It will end differently for everyone, but everyone will be happy. At 19 o’clock Jupiter will eclipse the sun and at this time (guest’s name) will go to rest under the table. Two minutes later, when the sun will emerge from under the shadow of Jupiter (guest's name) and join the vacationer under the table. Here's an option you can try. You can change the text or come up with your own. It is important to remember here that all people are different, and if you know that someone might be offended, then it is better not to include their name in the forecast. Comic forecast 2. And so, dear guests! Just a moment of attention. Today we all go out and have fun. But none of you thinks about the consequences, doesn’t think about what will happen to each of you tomorrow morning. But our astrologer already knows everything, and will tell you what will happen to each of you tomorrow morning. Horoscope 3. Horoscope 4. Horoscope 5. |
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