Types of domestic violence:

. physical violence in the family- deliberate infliction by one family member of another family member of beatings and bodily harm, which can lead or has led to the death of the victim, impairment of physical or mental health, damage to his honor and dignity;

. domestic sexual violence- unlawful encroachment by one family member on the sexual integrity of another family member, as well as actions of a sexual nature towards a minor family member;

. psychological violence in the family- violence associated with the influence of one family member on the psyche of another family member through verbal insults or threats, harassment, intimidation, which deliberately causes emotional uncertainty, inability to protect oneself and can cause or is causing harm to mental health;

. economic violence in the family- deliberate deprivation by one family member of another family member of housing, food, clothing and other property or funds to which the victim has a right provided by law, which can lead to his death or cause impairment of physical or mental health.

If you are a victim of domestic violence, please contact the following agencies first:

Today, the service receives the largest number of statements and reports of such offenses being committed. local police inspectors. But the implementation of measures to prevent domestic violence, within the limits of the powers granted, is also entrusted to other bodies:

- criminal police for juvenile affairs, whose powers are in the same scope as that of the service of local police inspectors, extend to cases where the victim of domestic violence or a person against whom there is a real threat of committing domestic violence, as well as the person who committed domestic violence, have not reached 18 years of age;

- guardianship authorities, providing assistance in restoring violated rights and protecting the legitimate interests of minors with parents and living in families, orphans and family members declared legally incompetent, in cases where domestic violence has been committed or there is a real threat of committing against them ;

Specialized institutions for victims of domestic violence, which include:

- crisis centers for victims of domestic violence (crisis centers), organizing the provision of psychological, educational, medical and legal assistance, as well as, if possible, providing temporary shelter for family members who may become or have become victims of violence;

- centers for medical and social rehabilitation of victims of domestic violence, where victims are accommodated (with their consent or at their request) based on the decision of the center’s medical commission. They stay in these centers for the period necessary for treatment and psychosocial rehabilitation;

- specially authorized executive body on issues of preventing domestic violence may receive and consider applications and reports of domestic violence and refer victims of domestic violence and family members against whom there is a real threat of violence to specialized institutions for victims of domestic violence (crisis centers, medical centers -sanitary rehabilitation);

- youth social service centers conduct social inspections of disadvantaged families together with employees of the juvenile affairs service. The objects of social inspection are families where children are registered with the internal affairs bodies, in the juvenile affairs service, who have experienced domestic violence, adult family members who are registered with the drug treatment clinic, with the internal affairs bodies, who violate moral, ethical and legal norms society.

Applications and reports of domestic violence are accepted by all listed authorities at the victim’s place of residence.

Family members who commit domestic violence bear criminal, administrative or civil liability. But before this happens and the domestic tyrant is actually punished, a lot of time and effort must be spent.

As a rule, the procedure is as follows. The district police officer receives a statement from the victim. The district police officer collects materials; If the fact of domestic violence is established, an administrative protocol is drawn up under Art. 173.2 and sends it to court. The judge makes a decision. After this, the district police officer opens a preventive card and a cumulative file on the family tyrant, while simultaneously placing him under occupational registration. He has been registered for a year. A local police officer visits his family once every three months.

More details http://gorbunov.od.ua/publ/7-1-0-31

In order for the relevant authorities to begin taking measures to prevent domestic violence, it is necessary to provide personal statement for help in connection with violence or the existence of a real threat of domestic violence.

In cases where the message or statement did not come from the victim personally, he can simply express a desire to take appropriate measures on preventing domestic violence.

In addition, the law establishes a rule according to which, in order to apply measures to prevent violence, a report of the use of violence in the family or a real threat of its commission against a minor or incompetent family member is sufficient. According to this norm, a message can come from any person or organization, but the Instruction of the Ministry of Internal Affairs, in our opinion, unreasonably narrows this norm to the concept “directly from this minor or incapacitated family member or from the bodies and institutions entrusted with the implementation of measures to prevent violence in the family,” which limits the possibilities of protecting the interests of this category of persons.

Information about violence or a real threat of domestic violence can be obtained from any organization entrusted with the implementation of measures to prevent such offenses, as well as from executive authorities, local governments, enterprises, institutions and organizations, regardless of the form of ownership, and citizen associations , individual citizens, as well as from publications in the media.

In addition to the listed organizations, information about dysfunctional families can come from correctional authorities, educational authorities, health authorities, judicial authorities, and housing and communal services.

All these circumstances can serve as a basis for special measures to prevent domestic violence.

After receiving a message or statement about domestic violence, information about this is transferred to the service of local police inspectors of the Ministry of Internal Affairs, who are now given the right to: issue official warnings to family members about the inadmissibility of committing domestic violence and the inadmissibility of victimized behavior; issue protective orders.

An official warning about the inadmissibility of domestic violence is issued by a local police inspector regarding a sane person who has reached the age of 16 at the time of issuance. This is done against a signature at the place of residence of the person who committed domestic violence, or in the office premises of the police station or internal affairs bodies. If a person refuses to sign the specified documents, a corresponding entry is made in these documents in the presence of witnesses or victims (if any).

Simultaneously with the issuance of an official warning, a person who has committed domestic violence must be registered as a preventive offender. In this case, registration cards are issued for such persons and registered in special journals.

If a person accepted for preventive registration leaves with his family for a new place of residence, the card is sent to the territorial body of internal affairs at the new place of residence.

Registration cards of persons for whom preventive work is terminated are stored for a year, after which they are liquidated, and a note is made about their destruction in the registration log.

The basis for removal from preventive registration is: the end of the period of one year on preventive registration; a court verdict to bring a family member who committed domestic violence to criminal liability in the form of imprisonment; long-term (more than one year) absence from the place of residence; death of such person; a written statement from the victim or a petition from the bodies and institutions responsible for implementing measures to prevent domestic violence for early removal from preventive registration due to the fact that the real threat of repeated violence has passed, and in connection with the correction of the behavior of such a person.

After receiving an official warning, in the event of repeated commission of domestic violence, the local police inspector, in agreement with the head of the internal affairs agency and the prosecutor, issues a protective order establishing a ban on the corresponding actions of the person who committed domestic violence for a period of up to 30 days from the date of approval of the protective order prosecutor.

A protective order may prohibit: committing any intentional acts of a physical, sexual, psychological or economic nature against other family members; obtaining information about the location of a victim of domestic violence; searching for a victim of domestic violence if the victim of violence is of his own free will in a place unknown to the person who committed the violence; visiting a victim of violence if she is temporarily not at the place of common residence of family members; conducting telephone conversations with a victim of violence.

The legislation provides for only two cases when the issue of issuing a protective order is not considered and it is not issued: if the victim of domestic violence is given an official warning about the inadmissibility of victimized behavior; if there are signs of a crime in the actions of the person who committed domestic violence.

The injured woman/child is given a legal assessment of what happened. She writes a statement, participants and witnesses to the conflict are interviewed. Then the first official warning is issued to the domestic tyrant, an administrative protocol is drawn up, a fine is levied on the offender, and now administrative arrest has also begun to be used. Within three days, the police must inform the department for family and youth affairs, and if violence is committed against a minor, the juvenile affairs service of local state administrations. If there are injuries, a referral is issued for a forensic medical examination. In the event of repeated domestic violence, the police issue a protective order; it is approved by the chief of police and agreed upon with the territorial district prosecutor. If the rapist continues to abuse the victim, then he faces criminal punishment.

If you find yourself in such a difficult situation, not only psychologists and the police can help you. First of all, you must strive to protect yourself. The favorite phrases of Slavic women “endure and fall in love”, “darlings scold - only amuse themselves”, “husband and wife are one Satan”, rest assured, will not work in this case. Remember the folk wisdom: God saves man, who save himself . Don't close your eyes to the real facts, don't force yourself to ignore violence. Keep the above phone numbers at hand, it is advisable that your children also know them, this will make you feel more protected.

More detailed information on the website http://www.yurpractika.com/article.php?id=0000702

Unfortunately, domestic violence is one of the most discussed topics in Russia. Who is to blame - the rapist or the victim, is it possible to beat children for educational purposes and is it necessary, in principle, to endure beatings in the hope of ephemeral changes, says family psychologist and psychotherapist Marina Travkova.

Marina Travkova

Marina Travkova, family psychologist, systemic family psychotherapist, member of the Society of Family Consultants and Psychotherapists.

What is violence

Violence is dangerous, harmful and no one needs it. Nevertheless, this is a large complex problem of our society, and the main thing here is not to go to extremes. The basis of any violence is always inequality. A person who feels equal will most likely be able to answer something, stand up for himself - the situation will become visible, and he will try to get out of it. But where there is a hierarchy, where there is a manifestation of the power of one over the other - for example, a teacher and a student, a coach and the one he trains, a prisoner and a guard - there is a basis for violence. Another important marker is how people behave after a breakdown into violence. If this is just a breakdown, then the person will be ashamed - he will not relieve himself of responsibility for what happened and will try to do everything to prevent this from happening again. And it’s completely different when a person does not repent, continuing to insist that he was driven or provoked. With these words, he transfers the levers of his behavior to another person. At the same time, neither his partner’s pain nor his fear stops him - he quite possibly even enjoys his own power.

When women or men present to the hospital with bruises or bruises, this is just the tip of the iceberg. There is invisible violence, which in its impact is no less destructive and toxic than physical and sexual violence - it is difficult to detect, and it is not subject to either criminal or administrative prosecution. We are talking about psychological and economic violence. About situations where a person takes a salary from his partner, forcing him or her to beg for money, or about relationships when a person is humiliated for a long time and, through manipulation, they try to force him to do something against his will.

Women most often suffer from domestic violence. If we look at the hierarchy - who is weaker and who is stronger, then the ratio is clearly not in favor of women. Moreover, this applies to all aspects of life - both socially and economically in our state, women have little protection. She often depends on a man.

A man is encouraged by society to defend his rights - to fight, to brazen and active courtship. He cannot become limp or cry, but he has the right to strike. If a man cries during a conflict, it will be strange for the public consciousness. It makes more sense if he starts fighting. The requirements for women are opposite. She, on the contrary, must soften rough edges, be polite and resolve all conflicts with words, and for physical disputes between women there are offensive labels such as “cat fights.” A man's fight always remains this fight.

Violence does not correlate with intelligence or social well-being. There are many cases when educated and even brilliant people showed violence towards loved ones. A person can be anyone, a professional in his field, a high-ranking official, a doctor, an intellectual - his social status in itself is not a guarantee for those who are close to him. Violence comes from having power and the desire to hurt another. That is why it is found in any environment, including prosperous ones.

Who is guilty

It is never the victim's fault that she was hit. She can't be held responsible for a fist flying at her face. The one to whom this fist belongs is responsible for it. But society nevertheless often tries to find an excuse for the rapist and blame the victim for everything. This behavior can be explained by the social phenomenon of “just world”. We all know that we are fragile and mortal, and that anything can happen to us. But we prefer to “close ourselves” from this knowledge and live as if we were in control of the situation: if we behave Fine And Right, then the world will respond in kind. If I treat people kindly, then they will be kind to me. If I love a person and care about him, then he should reciprocate. This is one of the basic human illusions. And when a person is faced with a difficult situation, for example, a woman sees her friend with a broken face, the first thing she will ask will be: “Why did he do this to you?” This is a defensive reaction, an attempt to preserve the idea of ​​a “just world” in which a friend allegedly did something wrong and was punished for it. We find it difficult to come to terms with irrational and unjust cruelty, with the brutal truth of our vulnerability and the danger of the world. We prefer to think that we are immortal - we plan things for years in advance and live as if we control everything. That is why the first feelings that the victim herself experiences are shame and guilt. The concept of a “just world” is so strong that the victim himself begins to look for cause-and-effect relationships and try to find the situation in which he behaved wrong. This is necessary in order to avoid making similar “mistakes” in the future. After all, if you behave Right, then everything will be fine again.

This is a strong cognitive distortion, and if the victim remains in this situation for a long time, her psyche is deformed. She believes: if she says differently, dresses differently, smiles differently, does something differently, then the beatings will stop. This is a very strong psychological defense, and in order to “break it” you need awareness and awareness. And we have problems with this. After all, our society focuses on the victim herself - on what she is wearing, how she behaves. Women do not want to admit that this is possible, and men do not want to admit that they are capable of this. In this situation, it is important that there is a person next to the victim who will support and tell the simple truth that violence is, in principle, unacceptable.

The same concept of a “just world” says that if you are attacked by a stranger on the street, then you deserve the pity and support of society. Although in the case of sexual violence there is no guarantee that the person will receive support. Nevertheless, it legitimizes the fact that you are the injured party and have the right to complain. Domestic violence is getting worse. A woman may think: “It seems like I chose him myself, he is a good father and at the very beginning he looked after him so beautifully.” This makes her even more ashamed. And since none of us is able to turn off our feelings in one second, she can still continue to love her tormentor. In addition, it often happens like this: in the morning a husband hits his wife, and at lunchtime, as if nothing had happened, he talks to her and smiles. The woman doesn’t understand how this is possible, she gets lost, and stops believing her own perceptions. She must combine this image of him as aggressive with his romantic courtship, falling in love, children and family. It is difficult for her to realize that everything has collapsed. Only tens of hundreds of thousands of women are able to immediately pack their things, take their children and leave. But such women, as a rule, have somewhere to go - there are loved ones who will accept and support them. But if there is no support or ways to retreat, then the situation becomes circular. The woman continues to live with her rapist, and the longer she lives with him, the more afraid she is and the less she understands herself. Unfortunately, society has all the more reasons to say: “She didn’t leave.”

There are many reasons for violence. There are organic reasons: a person is incapable of empathy, does not know how to feel other people. Violence is often reproduced by those who themselves were abused as children. A newborn baby is a blank slate, and what behavioral patterns he develops depend on his environment. People prone to violence grew up in an environment in which there was no opportunity to develop. When they feel angry, they have no tools of control and no impulses to stop them. Agree, every person at least once wanted to hit someone or even kill someone. Why don't we do this? Not just because it's scary. We feel the suffering of another person. Our mirror neurons work, and we try on ourselves the pain that we could potentially cause to another. And it hurts us to imagine someone else’s pain. But if a person was raised with the idea that he is better than others, that strength is the main value and priority, or violence was used against him, then as he grows up he becomes a potential rapist.

People who practice domestic violence were interviewed and tried to find out why they did it. So, they had a lot of excuses, reasons: they just wanted to teach or teach a lesson, they themselves were driven to grief, they argued with them, but there was nothing - this is all a text that shows the attitude towards others not as equal. Your partner should be your equal. Is it possible to teach a child through beatings? We are responsible for him and are obliged to teach him everything we know, but to beat him and tell him that this is for his own good means destroying his psyche. Subsequently, he will think that “they love and beat” is the norm. That love is humiliation.

The most common myths and stereotypes associated with domestic violence

Violence is an element of education

Violence is not only bruises, bruises and scars on the skin, it is also a blow to the personality. Often people who have been systematically beaten, grow up and say: “They beat me, and that’s okay - I grew up to be a man.” But nevertheless, research suggests the opposite - such children behave worse in stressful situations and in adulthood have an increased risk of encountering various types of addictions, for example, becoming drug addicts or alcoholics.

Violence against a child affects various aspects of his life and has a negative impact on his future. The world is becoming unsafe for him. He has more relationship problems - It’s harder for him to believe that he can be loved just like that.

Violence is an expression of love

The phrase “hitting means loving” has nothing to do with love and can be interpreted as “you are my property, and I have the right to do whatever I want with you.” Even if a woman sits at home and the family lives on her husband’s salary, this does not give him the right to beat anyone - neither his wife nor his children. This is not love. Love presupposes equality - you are together voluntarily. From the moment of the first strike, you will never know whether the person is with you willingly or out of fear.

There can be no sexual violence in a family - between husband and wife

If people live together for more than one year, then it is unlikely that sexual desire will be at the same level every day. People may be sick, tired, sleep-deprived, and simply not want sex. And also not to want it for a thousand other reasons. And forcing a person to have sex with you against his will means raping him. Women, often driven by the fear of abandonment or the myth “since my husband, I must,” force themselves to have sex at the request of their partner, but this is a destructive and harmful practice. Neither you nor your partner are obligated to have sex if you don't want to. It happens that men get angry and ask: “How can this be, why doesn’t she want to? Why did you marry me?” Well, when I came out, I wanted to. This means that something has changed, and you need to look for reasons if the relationship is dear to you. Look for causes of cooling and eliminate them. But nothing gives you the right to rape your partner. Do you consider sex a vital necessity, “take it out and put it down”? You have the right to look for another partner. But don't rape.

Domestic violence can be called the scourge of our time. It is a rare person who finds the strength to escape from such family hell. But even after breaking free, not everyone can find their bearings and behave correctly. Let's consider all possible scenarios for the development of events.

Definition

Of course, we need to start with a definition. Domestic violence is the deliberate coercion of something when the abuser does not pay attention to the interests and desires of the victim. As a rule, such aggressive dominance ends in psychological and physical injuries. The reason why this behavior is called domestic violence is simple - such dominant relationships are built between close people related by blood ties or between spouses.

Domestic violence does not have any specific form. No one is safe from it. The victim can be a small boy, an elderly person, a woman, and sometimes even a man.

According to statistics, more than seventy percent of victims of domestic violence are girls and women.

Let's look at the types of violence in more detail.

Psychological violence

This means that they are constantly trying to dominate a person’s emotions and feelings. To understand whether this type of violence is taking place, you need to pay attention to whether there are threats, insults, constant condemnation and criticism. Thus, the rapist tries to lower the self-esteem of his victim and suppress her will.

If violence occurs against a woman, then most often the rapist also uses sexual and physical violence. The sad thing is that psychological abuse is almost impossible to prove. This is because it does not leave obvious traces, unlike, for example, a physical one. It is impunity that makes psychological torture the norm in many families.

Signs of psychological abuse

Not all people perceive these signs as domestic violence in the family. But, nevertheless, if there are more than three signs in family relationships, this is a reason to be wary. So, the signs:

1. The husband talks in public about his wife’s shortcomings and ridicules her.
2. The husband does not take into account the woman’s opinion, and sometimes is not even interested in it.
3. Communication with sarcasm and constant insults from the husband is considered the norm.
4. The spouse is subject to excessive care.
5. A man inspires his wife with the idea that she is stupid and wrong in all matters.
6. The abuser accuses the victim of disrespect.
7. You never hear an apology from your spouse.
8. A man doesn't give a damn about what interests his wife.
9. The spouse does not want to acknowledge or discuss family problems.
10. The wife is always to blame for any difficulties and troubles in life.
11. Threats can often be heard.
12. The spouse sets the rules that no one can change or violate.
13. A woman has no personal time and no right to rest. Any manifestation is perceived as laziness.
14. The wife does not like to be with her husband. Sometimes she’s even afraid to stay with him.
15. The wife is constantly depressed and feels humiliated.
16. A man creates scenes of jealousy out of nowhere and has complete control over finances.

Line of conduct

Unfortunately, domestic violence in the family is not uncommon. But despite this, not every victim knows how to behave correctly.

The best course of action would be to abandon such difficult relationships. This is the most correct option that will save you from suffering and maintain your health. The problem is that not every woman has the courage to take such a step.

Therefore, you need to understand that domestic violence occurs. After all, it often happens that victims do not want to talk about the situation in the family and try to justify the behavior of the tyrant. This should under no circumstances be done, because such behavior only encourages the rapist to further actions.

If, after all, the victim found the strength in herself and decided to break with the rapist, then she needs to reduce the relationship to nothing and not believe the tyrant in his promises to change, and that everything will be different. Most often, this is a lie that the rapist resorts to in order not to lose his victim.

As soon as the woman returns to the family, the behavior becomes the same. Therefore, you should not be afraid to be alone. You need to break off such relationships, and to make it easier to cope, you can contact specialized centers. Such a social center for families can provide psychological assistance and provide legal advice if necessary.

Causes of psychological violence

Domestic violence in the history of Russian everyday life is almost a normal phenomenon. They are so accustomed to it that many women blame themselves for this attitude. This is a fundamentally wrong tactic, because it provokes a repetition of the situation.

According to psychologists, potential tyrants are people who had a difficult childhood. And this doesn’t always apply to money problems. Most often, these are children humiliated in the past who did not receive enough warmth and love.

Another reason for the desire to humiliate and subjugate may, on the contrary, be the lack of boundaries in childhood. Those children who were allowed absolutely everything and were not instilled with any moral principles also have a high chance of turning into domestic abusers.

Sexual violence

Domestic violence in Russian history was often accompanied by sexual violence. It is characterized by humiliation during sex or forced intercourse. Women who are sexually abused are sick, humiliated and weak. Why women? Because it is the man who takes on the role of the aggressor. More often this happens due to the fact that in ordinary life a woman dominates. And the only area of ​​life where a man can show his superiority is sex. But not only women can become victims of violence. As sad as it may be, children can also suffer from sexual abuse. Growing up, they acquire a bunch of complexes and hostility towards the male sex. Very rarely children dare to talk about their problem and ask for help.

If I may say so, then our country is “famous” for domestic violence. In Russia there is even such a saying: “He hits, that means he loves.” This is absolutely not true. Physical violence is not a measure of love, but rather, on the contrary, a scale of hatred. A characteristic feature is causing harm to the victim’s health. And the saddest thing is that a very large number of women simply tolerate it and do nothing about it. Of course, there are reasons for a passive position. Most often it is fear of loneliness, fear of being a single mother, the “what will people think” complex, or banal dependence on a rapist.

Women's mistakes

Domestic violence is a common thing in the history of Russian everyday life. And the point is not even how the man treats, but the fact that the woman does nothing to make things different.

A common female misconception is “he will change.” The strange thing is that ladies usually see how they are treated even before the relationship turns into marriage. But almost everyone hopes that she will be able to change her chosen one. Unfortunately, not everyone succeeds.

Another mistake can be considered attempts to justify the tyrant. This is unlikely to help. And to understand for sure, it’s best to look at the family in which the rapist grew up. If it is considered normal for them to show aggressive dominance, then they need to run away from there as fast as they can.

The stupidest mistake is the fear of loneliness. Of course, it is very difficult to overcome it, but it must be done. At least for the sake of the future, the children.

The last mistake is the victim’s idea that the rapist commits all actions unconsciously. Yes, under the influence of alcohol it becomes more difficult to control actions, but this does not mean that the tyrant is not aware of his actions. Alcohol cannot completely change a person's personality, but it can make all problems more pronounced.

Who will help?

Domestic violence cannot be tolerated. As soon as the realization has come that such behavior is abnormal, you need to urgently look for a way out of the situation. This state of affairs cannot be tolerated.

You can contact us with your problem:

• to the Office of Family Affairs;
• to the international center for the protection of women's rights;
• to the police station;
• to the psychological assistance center.

At any of the listed places, the victim will be asked to write a statement with all the details. Psychological centers will teach you how to react correctly to aggression and help you get rid of your own fears.

Should I film the beatings?

This question worries a large number of women. Yes, all bodily injuries must be recorded. They will be needed to file a police report. In order for the battery to be witnessed, the victim of domestic violence must go to an emergency room. In addition to recording injuries, doctors must include in the certificate information that it was committed by a family member or loved one.

No matter how embarrassing or awkward it may be, if it comes to the emergency room, then you shouldn’t show the beatings selectively. It is better to record everything at once, while carefully ensuring that the doctor does not make a mistake in the location, size or nature of the damage.

Stages of violence

It is the constantly repeated actions that distinguish accidents from acts of violence.

1. The tension is rising. The tyrant is irritated and it doesn’t matter whether there is a reason for it or not. The interesting thing is that neither the victim nor the perpetrator acknowledges this tension. Excuses such as being tired at work or feeling unwell are used. Usually a woman tries to calm her partner down and smooth out his irritation. But irritation does not go away, it can disappear only for a while, and then manifest itself with renewed vigor. This stage has no time frame. It may end within a week, or it may last several months.
2. Active violence. The tyrant is trying to release the tension. And then he turns his attention to his loved ones. No reason is needed for the rapist to take action. A sideways glance is enough. The outburst of rage can take a short amount of time, or it can last several hours. Almost always, the tyrant chooses a moment when outsiders cannot see what is happening. No matter what form of violence the tyrant chooses, he will always accompany his actions with humiliation and insults. You can often hear that a rapist blames the victim for his actions. Preventing domestic violence will not help. Because the tyrant is looking for an outlet for his emotions. At this stage, both the abuser and the victim acknowledge that there is a problem, but it does not yet seem serious.
3. Stage of repentance. After the outburst of rage comes a period of repentance. The tyrant goes to any lengths to atone for his guilt and, as a rule, he succeeds. The victim believes that domestic violence against the woman will end. And this despite the fact that the rapist still accuses the victim of provocation and incitement to aggression. Usually, repentance does not last long.

Then everything returns to normal. Naturally, no one is going to change and keep promises about a bright future. When the victim stops resisting, the rapist may completely repent. Constant violence against a person leads to the point where health deteriorates, and psychologically the victim turns into a ruin. When there is nothing left, even the most selfless person has the thought of leaving. But sometimes even close relatives do not support the victim in this. In such a situation, you need to gather all your will into a fist and leave, without looking back and without regret.

Is violence regulated by law?

Due to the fact that the problem is now quite acute, it was decided to create a law on the prevention of domestic violence. This bill, in addition to three types, also includes such a concept as economic violence.

Economic violence is a type of violence when a person or group of people is deliberately deprived of money or property to which he has a legal right. This also includes damage or destruction of property, actions that create obstacles to the ownership of this property, and various methods of forced labor that are considered difficult or harmful to health. In addition, this concept includes any other actions that cause bad consequences for the victim.

According to this clause, family relationships turn into purely business ones and you will have to answer before the law for every damaged property. In this case, excuses that the thing fell under the hot hand, or that the actions had a good purpose, are not accepted.

It is unclear how the article on domestic violence will define the scope of hard work for children. One can give a striking example where gaps in the law led to absurdity. Thus, in Germany, a woman was fired from her job because her seven-year-old daughter helped wipe the dust. But why go far if you can find similar cases in our country. In the Moscow guardianship authorities, one could see posters on the walls of a child holding a vacuum cleaner. Everything would have been fine, but the poster was crossed out.

It is possible that the result of such a bill will simply be a ban on child domestic labor.

Also, according to the bill, lessons on the prevention of domestic violence will be introduced in educational institutions. They will help children cope with their fears and help adults if necessary.

According to the bill, the law can be applied to the person who committed violence.

Also, the federal law on the prevention of domestic violence provides for several measures. This:

• preventive conversation;
• preventive accounting;
• special psychological programs;
• protective order;
• protective order.

Article in the Criminal Code

Not so long ago, our law once again underwent changes. Now the Criminal Code does not provide punishment for domestic beatings. If previously they were punished for assault with hooligan motives, now the domestic abuser faces administrative punishment. This happened due to the fact that there was a widely supported opinion according to which it was believed that the law unceremoniously interferes in the family life of citizens.

Now, according to the law, if beatings are committed for the first time, it is considered an administrative offense, and the punishment may be a fine of thirty thousand or arrest for fifteen days, as well as correctional labor.

And only when a person inflicts repeated beatings within a year can the law on domestic violence be applied to him. According to it, the tyrant can receive criminal punishment, which can be in the form of correctional labor for two hundred and forty hours, a fine in the amount of forty thousand rubles, or compulsory labor for six months.

Naturally, not everyone is happy with such amendments. A huge number of people believe that such changes have given domestic tyrants a free hand. Representatives of the law think differently.

In their opinion, such changes give the tyrant a chance to improve. It seems to them that after one administrative punishment the rapist will stop before repeating his experience.

Women's memo

Before justifying the rapist, it is worth remembering that any type of violence is potentially dangerous to life and health. After all, according to statistics, half of the women who ended up in a hospital bed ended up there “thanks” to domestic tyrants. Based on this sad trend, social workers have developed a certain algorithm of actions that every woman should know.

1. After the incident, you must wait until the tyrant calms down. After this, a serious conversation needs to be had.
2. There is no need to hide your injuries. On the contrary, they need to be shown and listed. What you don’t need to show is fear.
3. You need to have a conversation with your neighbors. The goal of the conversation should be to convince people to call the police if screams are heard behind the wall.
4. It is better to choose a separate place for documents and money in advance. You also need to provide yourself with shelter.
5. You cannot allow yourself to be afraid or embarrassed. After all, her life and the life of her child depend on the timely actions of a woman. Nothing is more imprinted in the memory than childhood fears and grievances.

In conclusion, I would like to add that in such a dangerous situation, a woman has no right to feel sorry for the rapist. The only thing that requires pity is your health and the life of your child. The child's psyche is very plastic, but family violence is a serious trauma from which not everyone can recover. Moreover, children need a happy childhood, a happy and healthy mother, and not a humiliated and downtrodden creature and a father with eyes red from rage. It is this picture that will remain in the memory, and who knows whether such a child will grow up to be a family tyrant. After all, the statistics are disappointing and indicate that all the problems originate from childhood.

According to the international organization Amnesty International, about 14 thousand victims of domestic violence die in Russia every year. According to other studies, 36 thousand Russian citizens suffer beatings from their husbands every day. If you think about it, these figures are comparable to the population of small cities. Every day we turn on the light in the kitchen, cook dinner, drink tea with our family, completely unaware of what is happening in the next apartment. Unfortunately, domestic violence is a catastrophic problem in our society. Accustomed to silence, women continue to live, go to work, hiding new bruises and abrasions from everyone.

How to avoid becoming a victim of violence? Where can you turn for help if you are in trouble? Let's find out!

Types of domestic violence

1. Economic violence

Oppression of the victim by the aggressor by limiting him in food, clothing and other benefits. Economic violence is common in families with different material incomes.

2. Psychological violence

This type of violence includes the deliberate intimidation of one family member by another with the aim of causing him psychological trauma, as well as creating emotional insecurity and fear in the victim.

3. Physical violence

Physical violence is accompanied by beatings, systematic beating by the aggressor of both one victim and all family members.

4. Sexual violence

Violent acts of a sexual nature can be carried out both against a woman and against young family members.

Five reasons to hate. Why do men beat women?

We will not paint a portrait of a domestic tyrant who keeps his entire family in fear and regularly beats his wife. Let's try to identify the most common reasons why men raise their hands against women.

1. A man suspects a woman of cheating. The fear of being deceived and abandoned makes many representatives of the stronger sex raise their hand to their soulmate. Such men are accustomed to proving everything with their fists, so it will be easier for them to clearly explain to their wife what will happen to her in the event of adultery than to talk.
2. The man drank, drank heavily. It seemed to him that his wife was talking to him too rudely. As a result, the woman has a bruise under her eye, and the husband sleeps sweetly in a warm bed.
3. A representative of the stronger half of humanity cannot imagine that it is possible to behave differently. His father and grandfather regularly beat their wives, so the man, embodying the behavior model of his ancestors, uses violence against his wife.
4. The man is an insecure person in life. Quite often, husbands raise their hands against their wives after receiving a scolding from their boss at work, quarreling with a colleague, or not getting the desired position. Having not realized his potential at work, a man comes to his home to let off steam.
5. The woman dared to lose an expensive gift. Whether on purpose or by accident - it no longer matters to the husband. A similar situation may arise if the wife had an accident and destroyed her husband’s favorite car.

Whatever the reason why the man raised his hand against the woman, the further scenario of events is predetermined.

Four phases of domestic violence

The cyclical path followed by the victim and the rapist was described by L. Walker in the seventies of the twentieth century in the USA. Time has passed, but the situation has not changed. The generally accepted model looks like this:

Stage I. Growing tension in the family

The stage is characterized by the complication of relationships within the family: constant manifestation of discontent, frequent disputes and quarrels. The victim tries to calm the aggressor, to encourage him to maintain peace in the family, but all her attempts are in vain.

Stage II. Violence

The culmination of tension in the family is the manifestation of violent actions by the aggressor. Accompanied by intimidation, accusations, threats, and beatings.

Stage III. Reconciliation

The offender apologizes (this does not always happen), tries to logically explain his action, shifts part of the blame (or all the blame) onto the victim, and tries to hush up the incident. His mood noticeably improves, he tries to joke and laugh as if nothing had happened.

Stage IV. Honeymoon

This stage is characterized by harmony in the relationship between partners. The offender is forgiven, the incident is forgotten, peace reigns in the family. But for how long? Over time, each stage becomes shorter, the aggressor attacks his victim more and more violently, and it becomes more and more difficult to resolve the conflict peacefully.

What keeps women silent?

Once captured by a domestic tyrant, few victims seek help. Most women endure bullying and beatings for years. Why?

• Shame

Many women consider it shameful that their own husband beats them. That is why they continue to remain silent, enduring blows and insults from their other half.

• Fear

A victim of domestic violence is terribly afraid of his tyrant. Therefore, she believes that if she tells someone about the beatings, he will become even more angry. In addition, many women are afraid for their children; victims are driven by the fear of losing them.

• Habit

Victims of domestic violence, accustomed to living in constant stress for years, cannot imagine that it is possible to live differently. Many wives sincerely believe that everyone lives this way. Women believe that one day their husband will improve and life will shine with bright colors.

It won't get better. Never. Once a man raises his hand to his wife, he will repeat it again and again.

Where can I go for help?

If you are a victim of domestic violence:

1. Do not remain silent under any circumstances.
2. Try to hide in the bathroom or with your neighbors if you have time to escape.
3. Scream as loud as possible. Call for help.
4. Call the police as soon as possible.
5. Remember: there is no turning back! And you didn’t start this conflict; you have nothing to blame yourself for.
6. Protect yourself and your children!

According to official statistics, about 40 percent of all serious violent crimes are committed within the family. There are victims of domestic tyrants in every fourth family. Ask for help! In almost every city there are crisis centers that are ready to provide any support to victims of domestic violence.

On the territory of the Russian Federation there is a single helpline for victims of domestic violence: 8 800 7000 600 .
If you find yourself in a difficult situation, call and competent specialists will help you.

Your future is in your hands!