Orthodox commemoration of the dead primarily involves prayer. And only after that funeral table. Of course, the funeral itself, the 9th and 40th days, are no less significant events to which all relatives, close friends, just acquaintances and colleagues from work are invited. However, at 1 year old you can not do this, but spend the day in prayer among your closest people in the family circle. Also, a year after a sad event, it is customary to visit the cemetery.

How to hold a wake for 1 year?

If a person was baptized during his lifetime, he is ordered to have a funeral commemoration at the Liturgy. Prayer is a huge help for people who have left this world. After all, by and large, the deceased does not need either a monument or a luxurious meal, the only thing that can be done is close person for his soul is to read prayers and remember his good deeds.

You can order the Liturgy in the church in the evening the day before the funeral or in the morning on the same day. Among other things, the deceased is also remembered at meals. On this day it is customary to cook various dishes: This is definitely soup, the main dish, and at the request of the relatives, the deceased’s favorite dishes are prepared. Don't forget about pancakes, jelly and pastries.

On the day of commemoration of the death of the deceased, you should definitely visit his grave. If necessary, they put things in order: they paint it, plant flowers, pine needles (thuja takes root best, it does not grow in breadth and does not take root, but only grows upward). If there was a temporary monument on the grave, then it is exactly in the year after death that it is replaced with a permanent one.

Memorial meal at the wake for 1 year

Of course, the hosts want to treat the invited people tastier, but do not forget about Orthodox posts. So, if the funeral took place on the day of fasting, prohibited foods should be excluded and only those dishes that are allowed to be served should be served.

At the table it is necessary to remember the deceased, his good deeds and character traits. You should not turn the funeral table into a “drunken gathering.” After all, the word “commemoration” arose from the word “remember.”

The first dish served at the funeral table is kutia. It is boiled rice or wheat cereal with honey and raisins. While eating the dish, they think about the deceased. Such food is considered a symbol of resurrection; according to tradition, it can be sprinkled with holy water.

The following dishes on the funeral table, namely soup, main course, can be anything, depending on taste preferences the deceased or the owners. It could be ordinary chicken soup with noodles or rich borscht, goulash with pasta or jellied meat, stuffed peppers or pilaf, just to meat dishes were not prohibited by fasting. As a pastry, you can serve pie with filling or pancakes.

It should be noted that memorial days must be celebrated in good location spirit, be in the mood and not be offended by the deceased for leaving this world. Moreover, it is considered correct to distribute alms and clothes or other belongings of the deceased to those in need at the funeral.

Sources:

• Website "Orthodoxy"

A wake is a rather complex funeral tradition found in most cultures. On the day of the funeral, there is a treat, as a memory of the deceased, both on the day of the funeral and on certain days Later.

Among some nationalities, sacrifices are laid at the grave, which are then used as food. Other customs call for holding a funeral feast (military fun) on site. This tradition was common among the Slavic and Germanic tribes, among the ancients. In other places, the deceased was seen off with mourning processions and crying.

We have a widespread Christian custom. According to the Orthodox canon, it must be carried out three times: on the day of the funeral, on the ninth day, and also on the fortieth day. They consist of a funeral meal. The same custom exists in many. The meaning of this ritual is very deep. Believing in the immortality of the soul, people bring the deceased closer to God, while at the same time paying tribute to him as good. It is not for nothing that it is customary to either speak well of the deceased or not to speak at all.

The funeral process also includes prayers for the person who has left the earthly world. In general, all actions at such rituals have deep meaning, even the meal menu was not chosen by chance.

So how do you conduct a wake?

1. Before starting the meal, you must read the “Our Father” prayer. This is the necessary minimum, since it is advisable to perform a litia and sing the 90th Psalm (for this, the so-called “singers” are invited). During the wake, it is necessary to remember the deceased, and only him positive traits and actions, obscene language, laughter, jokes, and drunkenness are prohibited.


2. It is not advisable to make the menu rich. On the contrary, modesty and simplicity are necessary, since the abundance of dishes does not benefit the ritual process itself. The first dish that you cannot do without is the so-called kutia - porridge made from whole grain millet or rice, seasoned with honey and raisins. Moreover, it must be sprinkled with holy water, or

Since ancient times, Russia has preserved the tradition of celebrating memorable dates, and people honor not only the birthdays of living people, but also the days of departure from the other world. This is due to the fact that Christians believe in a further afterlife with God. Many citizens do not know how to properly perform a funeral service for 1 year. The rules are quite simple; they help the deceased find peace in the next world.

Commemoration is the oldest ritual that was carried out back in Ancient Rus'. The main purpose of this ritual is to honor the memory of the deceased and facilitate his stay in heaven.. The basis of the wake is a meal, which the relatives of the deceased spend in his apartment, cafe, or directly at the cemetery. When the anniversary of death is commemorated, and how to honor it, you can find out in the temple.

Memorials are celebrated on the following days:

• on the day of death or the next day;
• on the 3rd day after death. Most often this day is the day of the funeral;
• on day 9;
• on day 40;
• in the future, the meal is carried out on the sixth month from the date of death, and all subsequent anniversaries.

The most important is the commemoration on the 3rd, 9th and 40th day after repose. In Christianity, they are of the opinion that for the first 2 days after leaving for another world, the human soul is still on earth and goes around all its native places. On the third day the soul goes to bow to God.

Informative! What is it needed on the wrist for: meaning in Christianity.

For the next 7 days, angels will show the soul life in heaven and the beauty of paradise. On the 9th day, the soul is again sent to worship God, after which it is led to the kingdom of darkness - hell - for 30 days.

For a month, the soul of the deceased is shown the eternal torment of sinners. At the end, on the 40th day, the soul is again taken to bow to God, where a decision is made in which exact place the soul will be until the Last Judgment.

In addition, you can remember a deceased relative on the following days:

• second Tuesday after Easter. On the holiday itself, it is not worth remembering the dead, since Easter is a holiday of living people;
• the next Saturday before Lent;
• 2, 3, 4 Saturdays of Great Lent.

Since a baptized deceased person is a member Orthodox Church, you can order a memorial service and magpie for him at almost any time.

It is important to know! If the anniversary coincides with an important church holiday, it is recommended to postpone it to the next day.

Commemoration in church

The most important thing for remembering the deceased is not the meal, but prayer. If the deceased was a Christian, there is nothing more valuable to him than prayer on the anniversary of death. In addition, clergy advise relatives to refrain from a luxurious dinner and alcohol on the anniversary of death.

Lunch should be quite simple and modest. Funerals for 1 year and all subsequent times should absolutely not turn into a cheerful feast, since such a pastime is not welcomed by Christian traditions.

In addition to personal prayer, you must order a commemoration in the church for the year:

• remembrance at the proskomedia. This rite represents the first part of the liturgy, during which the priest takes out small pieces from the prosphora for peace and health.
• most often the “sorokoust” is ordered, then the deceased will be commemorated at 40 services in a row;
• memorial service. Usually held in churches on Saturdays or Sundays, but if necessary, you can arrange with the priest to hold it on another day;
• lithium. Another common type of funeral service. It can be done at any time. It is also possible for a priest to visit the cemetery.

The most important condition is that the deceased is remembered by all his relatives. The priest does not always know the deceased personally, so he cannot express the emotions that friends and relatives experience.

The priest, in fact, is only the performer of the ritual. The rules of the event allow for ordering the reading of the Psalter. This service is more often carried out in monasteries, since it is designed for long time. Depending on the size of the donation, the service will be held for a month, six months or even a year.

It is important to know! When ordering a service in a church, you can include in the note not only the name of the deceased, but also other deceased relatives.

Basic Rules

The rules for holding a memorial service in 1 year are such that the event must first begin with a visit to the church. Only after relatives have ordered a special service can they go to the cemetery and perform a civil memorial service.

After this, the relatives must clean up the grave, mention how good the person was, what good deeds he did. It would also be a good idea to bring fresh flowers. It is very important to remember that you are allowed to go to the cemetery only in the first half of the day.

After completing these steps, you can start eating. It is permissible to carry it out not only in the house of the deceased, but also in a cafe. The clergy do not advise having a luxurious dinner; the dishes should be quite simple. As for alcohol, only red wine is allowed to drink; vodka cannot be placed on the table.

Funeral dinner

How to remember the deceased on the anniversary of death should be decided only by relatives. But clergy advise paying attention to the oldest traditions. Often loved ones ask the question not only how to commemorate, but also with what. Lunch dishes should be modest. Be sure to prepare not only the first and second, but also kutya (wheat porridge with raisins, candied fruits and honey). It is recommended to make snacks on this day (especially if you decided to put wine on the table). From alcoholic drinks It is allowed to use cognac and Cahors. Sparkling wines are not suitable for this occasion.

Often parishioners ask priests what they order in the church on the anniversary of a death, if it falls on a fast. In this case, there should be mainly Lenten dishes and lots of baked goods.

If the commemoration takes place in a cafe, you need to ask the employees to turn off the music and TV. Entertainment is not permitted in the adjacent room. You should not make toasts, as it is inappropriate.

It would be better to just say good words about a person, remember his good deeds or read poetry on the anniversary of his death. You can also share warm memories with relatives.

Reference! What is forbidden to do on the anniversary of death is to say words that denigrate the deceased.

Remember at home

If relatives do not have the opportunity to go to the cemetery, how to remember the deceased and what to do in this case. In such a situation, you need to invite everyone home and prepare a special lunch. Many people mistakenly believe that in 1 year the rules imply covering mirrors in the apartment and placing a cutlery for the deceased on the table. The clergy claim that these traditions exist, but they do not apply to the Orthodox, so it is not necessary to adhere to them.

Every person who comes to the house must pray before sitting down to the table. It is advisable that the apartment be lit at this time. church candles. After reading the prayer, you can start eating. Relatives are allowed to talk at the table. The main thing is that there is no gossip, jokes or bad language, as this is inappropriate.

According to Christian traditions, dishes that are served to the table must be blessed. In addition to the first and second meals, lunch also includes dessert. Sweets must be present on the table, as they symbolize the joy that awaits all righteous Christians in heaven.

When preparing the table, you can consider the following tips:

1. One of traditional dishes Pancakes count at funerals. Usually they are washed down with fresh jelly or full jelly (honey dissolved in water).
2. It is recommended to place several fir branches on the table, and black ribbons can be attached to the tablecloth.
3. During the change of dishes, it is necessary to read a prayer for repose. Also, prayers on the death anniversary of 1 year (and all subsequent ones) are read after the meal.
4. When leaving, the owners do not need to say words of gratitude. This is not accepted at funerals.

Independent mention

If a person does not have the opportunity to go to a funeral, you can remember the deceased at home. There is no need to host a lunch for this. As you know, celebrating the anniversary of death involves reading a prayer.

This option will be optimal. Most clergy advise reading the Psalter. How to do this correctly is usually described in detail in the appendix to the book. Be sure to read between psalms special prayers, and mention in them the names of deceased relatives. This type of remembrance is the best.

There are some exceptions in which the church does not allow commemoration of the deceased during the Liturgy. This applies to people who were baptized but never went to church. It is believed that this indicates that the person was an unbeliever during his lifetime. The clergy call such people parishioners.

Also, the church never remembers those who have committed suicide, since this is a voluntary rejection of God’s main gift - life. This rule also applies to those people who died from a drug overdose, since such a death is also considered suicide.

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Let's sum it up

That's all today more people prefer to order a service in church and believes that this is enough. Despite the fact that clergy can also turn to the Almighty with a request for forgiveness of earthly sins, relatives should also pray for the deceased.

Appeals from priests, as mediators and executors of God’s will on earth, reach the Savior faster, but reading prayers at home is also mandatory. First of all, the soul of the deceased hears precisely the words of relatives, and not church ministers, so family and friends definitely need to pray.

In our country, it is customary to celebrate significant dates: for living people these are name days and birthdays, and after death - funerals. This date is extremely important for Orthodox Christians because they sincerely believe in eternal life and meeting with the Creator. Therefore, for believers, the soul has no ending. Let’s talk in more detail about how one should remember a person who has left this world on their anniversary.

Orthodox traditions

The ancient Slavs also commemorated the dead. This action is performed at the time of burial, and then on the 9th and 40th days. It is also customary to organize a corresponding meal for a year after death. How should a deceased Christian be remembered? The main “attribute” is, of course, prayer. It is recommended to refrain from drinking alcoholic beverages. An event such as a funeral should never turn into a noisy feast, as this does not correspond to Orthodox traditions.

What do they order in church on the anniversary of death?

In addition to a private prayer service, for one year after death in the Temple of the Lord they order:

On any church ceremony All friends and relatives of the deceased should pray. Because the priest does not have the opportunity to put into prayer those experiences that are this moment loved ones feel. The priest is only the performer of the service. Of course, his words are strong, but everything cannot be entrusted to someone else, because in this case we mean the posthumous fate of a person who was very dear during his lifetime.

In addition, the church often orders a psalter for 1 year. It is done for a long time. It all depends on the donation.

You can also buy small books in church shops: people who need to be remembered are written in them. You can take this thing with you to the temple so that you don’t miss anything when providing notes. While the note is being read by a priest or deacon, you need to pray yourself.

There are as generally accepted church holidays, to which cemeteries should be visited, as well as ordinary private funerals. As for generally accepted events, they include “parents’ day.” The deceased should also be remembered at this time, regardless of the date of their death.

Second Tuesday of Easter - transition day. In many regions of the Russian Federation, there is a tradition of going to the cemetery directly on the Resurrection of Christ, but this is not officially approved - Easter is considered such a bright and pure day that there are no dead at this time.

Even if this is not a memorable date from the moment of death, any deceased must definitely hear the joyful “Christ is Risen.” This day even has an appropriate name- Radonitsa. For every person there is hope for eternal life with the Lord, therefore absolutely everyone should rejoice on this day - both on earth and in heaven. On graves on this day it is customary to bring painted chicken eggs and delicious pancakes, and the remaining food should be distributed to the poor.

Dignified repose is a kind of crown of the entire existence of a true Christian. In prayers for every day there are petitions for the Almighty to ensure a shameless death. People of the Orthodox faith want to take communion and confess before meeting God. There are special rituals performed over the dying person, which are not repeated after his death.

To commemorate the anniversary of his death with dignity, commemoration must begin in church. Then you should go to the cemetery to the grave and perform a civil funeral service over it. Only after this should you turn to the meal, clean up the grave and remember things to do dead person. It is not customary to pour vodka and drink it.

It's better to bring fresh flowers to the grave. At one time, the church planned to limit the decoration of coffins with artificial wreaths, but coping with this tradition turned out to be not so easy. This custom is aimed at avoiding vandalism, which is often found in cemeteries in our state.

But from drinking alcoholic beverages It is recommended to abstain completely. The pain and sadness of the loss is enormous, but other options should be found to solve this problem. After all, such behavior will not please the deceased at all. It is better not to spend money on alcohol, but to give it to the needy poor.

What to do on the anniversary of a death at home

It also happens that there is no way to go to the cemetery according to various reasons. In this case, you need to invite to your home all the people who wish to participate in this event. The customs associated with curtaining mirrors and displaying utensils for the deceased have nothing in common with Orthodoxy.

Before eating you need to pray. One of the close friends or relatives of the deceased needs to read the 17th kathisma or one of the rites of the memorial service. In this case, you should light blessed candles . After this, the meal itself begins, during which only decent conversations should be conducted; laughter and jokes are completely inappropriate.

Meals of pagan peoples for the dead were carried out extremely pompously. Then they thought that the more magnificent and colorful the funeral feast was organized, the more beneficial it would be for the deceased person in another world. Meals were characterized not only by the abundant consumption of a wide variety of dishes, but also by songs and dances. The essence christian wake and burials are completely different. These rituals should maintain the bright memory of the deceased, who is considered to have passed on to another world, and not even deceased.

Guests are given special dishes. IN mandatory Kutia is placed on the table, which is a sweet wheat porridge seasoned with honey, dried fruits and raisins.

• The traditional food for funerals is pancakes covered in jelly.
• The table should be set as usual. You can place fresh spruce branches on it, and trim the edges of the tablecloth with black lace.
• At each change of treats, it is necessary to read a prayer. You need to pray after finishing every meal.

After reading the prayers, you can read poems on the anniversary of death. There are no restrictions in this regard. At the same time, some merits of the deceased may be mentioned, his positive features character, etc. It is clear that any person has shortcomings, but it is not customary to talk about them at funerals.

Anniversary of death celebrated in other countries. China, Korea and Japan have their own traditions. They also fast and avoid wine and meat for a while.

How to honor the deceased yourself

To honor the memory The Psalter is often used for the deceased. Between individual psalms, special prayers are read in which the deceased are mentioned. Akathists can also be read, but the Psalms were created much earlier.

It also happens that the charter of the Church prohibits honoring the deceased at the Liturgy and holding funeral services and requiem services for them. This applies to the deceased who were baptized, but did not attend church regularly, that is, they were not churchgoers. Only the person who participates in Communion and Confession can be considered this way. The rest of the people are called “parishioners”.

But in reality, some deviations from this rule are often made. Here everything depends on the bishop. One way or another, this point should be discussed with the clergy.

The Church definitely does not commemorate the deceased who took their own lives. If the deceased died in war, providing protection to other people, then this is not suicide. In fact, death in war is considered one of the most honorable. But death from a drug overdose is a type of suicide.

But the church teaches people hope for God's mercy and grace. Therefore, there is even a special akathist for suicides, which was developed back in the last century.

If a person has completed his journey on Earth, then he has no need for a golden coffin, a grand funeral, or a monument made of marble or bronze. The most important help that loved ones and relatives can provide is sincere prayer and nice words on the anniversary of death. This is not an ordinary tradition, it is a lifeline leading the deceased to the Kingdom of God.

Of course, we remember all the relatives, loved ones and friends who have left us. But there are specific memorial dates that are usually celebrated according to traditions that have survived even the times of socialism. These also include commemorations a year after the tragic date.

Of course, there are certain rules of conduct based on ancient customs that are not known to everyone. So let's take a quick look at them. In principle, an anniversary differs little from a wake on the ninth day or the fortieth day. But there is one exception. If everyone comes to a memorial meeting, which is held immediately after the funeral or shortly after it, then the anniversary requires the presence of an exclusively narrow circle.

The narrow circle includes the closest friends of the deceased and his relatives, and it depends only on the organizer of the meeting whether to invite specific people at her, is it appropriate? Usually it is recommended to start the memorial day with a visit to church. You can order here funeral prayer, light a candle. Then it is worth visiting the grave of the deceased to pay tribute to him and lay flowers.

And only after that all the invitees gather for funeral dinner, that is, a special meal with a traditional set of mandatory and secondary dishes, which may vary slightly depending on the region of residence and culinary preferences of people.

What might a funeral meal menu include?

The main memorial table symbol that has come down to us from our ancestors is the Orthodox kutia. The Slavs cooked kutya from wheat grains, generously anointing the dishes with honey, nuts, poppy seeds, raisins and jam. Today, rice is often used for cooking. Kutya should first be consecrated in church, sprinkled with holy water or read a prayer before the meal. The funeral dinner begins with kutya. You can also put other dishes on the table.

• Favorite dishes of the deceased. This helps to remember more about the deceased, share his tastes, and tune in to a conversation about him.
• As a first, you can offer borscht, cabbage soup, noodle soup, solyanka.
• Any type of pies, since pastries with fish, meat and sweet fillings are very common in traditional Slavic cuisine.
• Meat dishes with a side dish of porridge or mashed potatoes.
• Traditional pickles, preserves, including herring and other pickles.
• The usual vegetable salads, Olivier salad, etc. are acceptable, only the use of exotic dishes such as octopus or truffles is undesirable.
• Most often, fruit drinks, compotes made from fresh berries or dried fruits are served as drinks.

A good funeral table should not be meager, but an excessive variety of dishes is not encouraged. The main thing is to satiate everyone who came to the meeting and not give rise to the impression that the event organizers are excessively saving. If the funeral is held during Lent, then the meat on the menu can easily be replaced with mushrooms or fish; several varieties of porridge are appropriate so as not to leave guests hungry.

As for the location of the wake, it is best to have special banquet halls with a convenient location and a calm atmosphere. A specially trained master of ceremonies will help you understand the intricacies of the event and its organization.

In Russia it is customary to celebrate important dates- during life, these are birthdays, and after death, remember the day of departure. This date is especially important for Christians. After all, they believe in the resurrection and subsequent eternal life with God. Therefore, the existence of the soul has no end for believers. How can one honorably, in a Christian manner, remember the deceased on the anniversary of his death?

Funeral traditions

In Orthodoxy, it is customary to remember the dead; the ancient Slavs also had such a ritual. It takes place on the day of the funeral itself, then 9 or 40 days later. On the anniversary of death, it is also customary to gather for a special meal. How to remember the deceased if he was a Christian? The most important thing is, of course, prayer. It is also necessary to refrain from heavy libations, or better yet, from alcohol altogether. Under no circumstances should ceremonial commemorations turn into riotous fun. This is very far from Christian traditions.

In addition to private prayer, on the anniversary of death in the church they order:

• a special commemoration during the Liturgy is the morning service, during which pieces are taken from the consecrated bread for the departed. It is customary to order the so-called “Sorokoust” - they will commemorate at forty services;

• memorial service - usually served on Saturdays, but you can arrange with the priest for another day. You can come to the funeral service weekly, but the anniversary is a particularly important day;

• Lithium is another type of funeral service, it is somewhat shorter than a memorial service. It is served at any time; you can bring a priest to the cemetery to perform it.

It is imperative that the family members and friends of the deceased themselves pray at any memorial. After all, the priest cannot convey the feelings and emotions that loved ones experience. He acts as a performer of the ritual. Of course, his prayer has power, but you cannot entrust everything to others. After all we're talking about about the posthumous fate of a loved one.

But this is not all that is ordered in the church. The Psalter is appropriate for the anniversary of death. Usually it is ordered from monasteries and is done for a long time. Depending on the donation for a month, six months or whole year. Again, be sure to remember the deceased yourself every day. For this purpose in morning rule There are special short prayers.

Church shops sell special books where you can write down everyone who needs to be remembered. You can take this book to church so that you don’t forget anyone when submitting notes. When the deacon or priest reads the notes, be sure to pray yourself.

Other days of remembrance

There are both private funerals and special church holidays, when it is customary to go to cemeteries. This is the so-called “parents day”, it is celebrated several times. On these days, we also need to remember the dead, regardless of when they passed away.

• The 2nd Tuesday after Easter is a moving day. In some Russian regions there is a tradition of visiting graves on the day Christ's Resurrection, although this is not officially approved - Easter is such a bright day that it is believed that there are no dead on this day.

Even if this is not the anniversary of death, the joyful words “Christ is Risen!” all the departed must hear. The name of the memorable day is appropriate - Radonitsa. For everyone there is hope for eternity with God, so this day is intended for shared joy - in heaven and on earth. It is customary to have a meal at graves, bring colored eggs, pancakes, and distribute the leftovers of the meal to the poor.

All the deceased are also commemorated on other days:

• Trinity Saturday is the Saturday before Pentecost;

• Meat Saturday - before the start of Lent;

• Saturdays during Great Lent - 2nd, 3rd, 4th.

A deceased person is still a member universal church, so you can always order memorial services.

How to spend a sad anniversary

A dignified death is the crown of a believer’s life. IN daily prayers there are petitions that God will grant a shameless death. Orthodox Christians strive to confess and receive communion before meeting the Creator. There are special rituals that are performed on the dying person. After death they are no longer repeated.

In order for the anniversary of death to be celebrated with dignity, it is necessary to begin the commemoration in the temple. This could be a presence at the Liturgy, then at a memorial service, or simply a pre-ordered lithium. After this, go to the cemetery, perform a civil memorial service there, or read the 17th kathisma. After this, have a meal, remember the deceased, and clean the grave. Drinking vodka, especially pouring it on a grave, is not Orthodox custom, which will not help the deceased in any way!

It is better to bring fresh flowers to graves; this is in accordance with Christian traditions. There is never artificial greenery in churches, because God has no dead. At one time, the church even tried to ban the tradition of decorating coffins with wreaths with inscriptions, but it was not easy to defeat it. This custom is not so much caused by greed or paganism, but is aimed against vandalism, which, unfortunately, is often found in Russian cemeteries.

But you can and should abstain from drinking. The pain of loss is great, but we must find other ways to cope with it. It is unlikely that the deceased will be pleased with such behavior. It is better not to spend money on intoxicating drinks, but to distribute it to the poor as a way to commemorate the soul.

How to remember the deceased for a year after death at home

You can commemorate the death anniversary at home. It happens that it is impossible to go to the cemetery due to various circumstances. Then it is necessary to invite everyone who wants to participate to prepare a special meal. The customs of placing a device for the deceased and covering mirrors are not Orthodox.

Before sitting down to the table, you need to pray. One of the relatives must read the 17th kathisma, or the rite of requiem. Candles are lit during prayer. Then you can start eating. It must be held with dignity, conversations must be decent, jokes and laughter are inappropriate.

Pagan meals for the dead were held with great pomp. It was believed that the more expensive and magnificent the funeral feast, the better it would be for the newly deceased beyond the grave. Triznes were accompanied not only by copious libations, but also by dances, songs, and competitions. The meaning of Christian funerals and wakes is completely different. They must maintain the prayerful memory of a person who is not even considered dead, but has passed on to another world.

Special dishes are served at the table. Kutya is definitely one of them. This is wheat porridge, which is sometimes replaced with rice. But its main feature is that it is prepared sweet, seasoned with raisins, other dried fruits, and honey. It is advisable to consecrate this food during the service. The sweetness symbolizes the joy that awaits the righteous in heaven.

• Also a traditional funeral dish are pancakes, which are usually washed down with jelly.

• Table setting should be ordinary. You can place fresh fir branches on the table and decorate the edges of the tablecloth with black lace.

• Each change of dishes should be accompanied by the prayer: “Rest, O Lord, the soul of Thy servant (name).” You should also pray after your meal. But thank the owners for funeral meal not accepted.

When everything has been read necessary prayers, someone can read poetry on the anniversary of death. There are no church prohibitions on this matter. Poems should remind of the virtues of the deceased, of his spiritual qualities. Of course, everyone has shortcomings, but Christians trust in God’s mercy, try not to remember them, but to pray for their sins to be forgiven.

It is customary to celebrate the anniversary of death not only in Russia. The dead are also commemorated in Asian countries. Japan, Vietnam, Korea and China have their own traditions. Followers of Judaism commemorate deceased parents, brothers, and children. True, their anniversary date does not coincide with the generally accepted calendar. During the funeral, it is customary to fast, meat and wine are prohibited.

How to honor the deceased yourself

What prayers are read at home on the anniversary of death to remember the deceased? The Psalter is best suited; the reading instructions are indicated in every Orthodox publication. In this case, between the psalms there are special prayers where the names of the deceased are mentioned. This is the most the best option. You can also read akathists, but the Psalms were written much earlier. Also everyone Christian churches acknowledge their inspiration.

There are cases when the Church Charter prohibits commemorating the deceased at the Liturgy, ordering memorial services for them, or holding a funeral service. This applies to those who were baptized, but did not regularly go to church, that is, were not churched. A person who takes part in confession and Communion is considered to be a churchgoer; all others are considered “parishioners.”

True, in practice, deviations from this rule are often made. It all depends on the ruling bishop. In any case, it is necessary to clarify this issue with the clergy.

It is also clearly prohibited on behalf of the Church to commemorate those who took their own lives voluntarily. If a person died in war while protecting others, it is not considered suicide. In general, death in war is one of the most honorable. But death from a drug overdose is a type of suicide.

However, the holy fathers teach to hope in God's mercy. You are allowed to pray for such people in private; there is even a special akathist for suicides, compiled in the last century. You can also add something of your own, but you shouldn’t be too zealous either. We do not know all spiritual laws; such prayers can end in mental disorder for someone who wants to do a good deed.

Why remember the dead

When a person graduated earthly path, he does not need a magnificent funeral, nor an expensive coffin or marble monument. Prayer is the main help we can provide to our deceased loved ones. This is not just a tribute to tradition, but a saving thread that can lead a person to the Kingdom of God. It is especially important to pray in the first days when the soul goes through ordeals. But even after a year or two has passed, this must be done.