Answer: Although this is more of a replica rather than a direct question, I will try to express my point of view on this problem, especially since many people are concerned about such questions, and I have already had to answer them before.

I agree with the deeply respected father Maxim: creating a family is always a risk. As well as any difficult and important business. Like opening a new business, building a large facility, or having a baby. Doesn't a woman, especially a believer, for whom abortion is a grave sin, take risks when she conceives and then gives birth to a baby? After all, an ectopic pregnancy, various complications, the threat of miscarriage and, finally, the risk of dying during childbirth or giving birth to a disabled child are possible. No one is immune from these and other dangers. But, nevertheless, almost every family, knowing about these dangers, takes risks. Or another example: driving a car. Every year on Russian roads 30 thousand people die. This is twice as many as our soldiers died in Afghanistan during the nine years of the war. And how many more people annually remain crippled and lose their health in an accident! But, knowing all this, everyone continues to use vehicles, and some work as drivers. But every sane person, starting an unsafe business, tries to minimize the degree of risk. This is also stated in the Gospel: “For which of you, wanting to build a tower, does not first sit down and calculate the cost, whether he has what it takes to complete it, so that when he lays the foundation and is unable to complete, all who see do not begin to laugh over him, saying, This man began to build, and could not finish? Or what king, going to war against another king, does not sit down and consult first whether he is strong with ten thousand to resist the one who comes against him with twenty thousand? Otherwise, while he is still far away, he will send an embassy to him to ask for peace” (Luke 14:28-32). An example with the same driving a car: who will get into accidents more often - a driver who has completed a training course, drives carefully and follows the rules, or a person who bought a license without really learning how to drive, often breaks the rules and is also prone to recklessness ? I think the answer is obvious. If a woman wants to reduce the risk of pregnancy, she must also follow the rules: take care of yourself, eat well, do not lift weights, see a doctor. If she carries heavy bags, smokes, drinks alcohol and does not care about the recommendations of doctors, then it is very likely that her pregnancy will end in failure. Of course, there are very small chances that, despite all this, the Lord will still save her and the unborn baby and she will be safely born a healthy baby - there are such cases. But it is clear to anyone that the risk for such a woman in labor increases many times over.

Now about marriage. If a Christian wants to live according to the will of God and save his soul, he must be guided not by his own "truth", but by the Truth of God, which is set forth in the Holy Scriptures and in the writings of the Holy Fathers, that is, in Holy Tradition, as well as the instructions of his conscience and advice spiritual father. If he lives according to the principle: “my will be done”, I will live as I want, and then the Lord will manage somehow (after all, life is a risk anyway), he commits a big sin, deliberately goes against God and exposes himself to great danger .

Holy Scripture gives us the doctrine of marriage. I will not now detail it with numerous quotes - everyone, if desired, can find them himself. I will be brief. The Lord gives us the rules of family life. These are: 1) mutual marital love and hierarchy, in the image of the love and hierarchy of Christ and the Church, 2) keeping purity before marriage and fidelity in marriage, 3) the indissolubility of the marital union (except for the guilt of adultery): “what God has combined, let a man not separates” (Matthew 19:6). If we are building family life according to these spiritual laws, we will be able to save our family from many troubles and find marital happiness. Of course, there are cases, like the one described in the above commentary, when church virginal young people do not find marital happiness and their marriage breaks up. But, if you look at the situation as a whole, divorces, infidelities and family scandals are found in church families much less frequently. There, these phenomena are exceptions, but in other, unbelieving, families, they are common and even natural. Break apart Christian families not because the rules of Christian family life are bad, and not because the Holy Scriptures are outdated, but because we are Christians - Orthodox XXI centuries, who have forgotten what real love, family, patience are. After all, in order to create a strong and happy Christian family, only external correct conditions are not enough. We need our personal work, the feat of family life. Reverend Seraphim Sarovsky said that for salvation it is not enough just to pray, fast and go to church, you need "acquisition of the Holy Spirit." So it is in family life. Certainly, right conditions they help us and reduce risks, but the main thing is the acquisition and preservation of the spirit of love. True, sacrificial conjugal love is the content of marriage, and the right conditions are the form.

As Father Maxim Kozlov again correctly noted, there is a special care of God, His Providence for each specific person and about every married couple. Because every person has his own way to God. Someone in childhood did not receive an Orthodox upbringing, grew up in an incomplete family and “did a trick in his youth” - there is only one demand from him, only God’s watching about him. And it is very possible that after his sincere repentance and realization of his mistakes, the Lord will give this person another chance for happiness. Or vice versa: a person grew up in a priestly, friendly family, but consciously went down the path of sin, fell into fornication before marriage, cheated on his wife in marriage, divorced and entered into a second marriage - it is clear that the demand from him will be completely different: “to whom much has been given, and much will be required; and to whom much has been entrusted, more will be exacted from him” (Luke 12:48). Yes, the Lord has a special consideration for everyone, but that's what it is special which is not for everyone. And for all of us there is a common plan of God: to be saved and to build life (including family life) according to the commandments, according to the Gospel.

You brought quite specific example: the couple went through a stormy youth, each had several marriages and several children from these marriages, went against the blessing of the priest, got married, and everything is fine with them. Sorry, but as a clergyman who regularly takes confession, I cannot agree with this. Constantly confessing people who are not already in their first marriage, I know how they, their spouses and children are tormented by all these mistakes, and most importantly, how they themselves suffer pangs of conscience. No normal person will argue that marriage should be created once in a lifetime and that it is much better than going through trial, error and sin. Not a single person can simply cross out a negative experience from life, forget everything like a bad dream. Even after repentance and confession, the consequences of his sins will be with him. His former spouses will remain, children from previous marriages with whom it is necessary to communicate, as well as memories of past relationships and a habit of sin. So, it can no longer be "all is well." But this is a topic for a separate discussion.

Question : I divorced my husband: we were unbelievers, young. She got married a second time. Is true love possible in our marriage, because I have committed a great sin, or is it fornication, passion? Now I am a church person, I even work in the temple; my current husband rarely goes to church, but he believes in God.

Answer: Yes, the great tragedy of our people is the isolation from their spiritual roots. 70 years of atheistic captivity has done its dark deed, and the consequences of this godlessness will affect us and our descendants for a long time to come. Most people came to the Church after going through a lot, making a lot of mistakes and sins. But the Lord came to earth for this, to give hope to every person. And Christianity is a religion of resurrection; the main task of our faith is the resurrection human soul. How is it carried out? Through baptism and repentance. Rus', of course, has already been baptized, and we have more than 80% of those baptized, but repentance, confession, the holy fathers call the second baptism, only not with water, but with tears. Many, repenting of great sins, ask: “Will God forgive me or not?” This question arises from a misunderstanding of repentance. As if there is some offended Divine Dignity that awaits satisfaction and punishment for the criminal. God is all-perfect Love, He forgave us all a long time ago, taking our sins upon Himself and sacrificing Himself for us. But He is waiting for our personal repentance, and we need: firstly, to admit that we are sick, and, secondly, to embark on the path of correction - for our own good. If we don’t repent, we won’t improve, but God wants our salvation. After repentance, there will be much big job over yourself, your mistakes, and, of course, it will not be easy. The greater the sin, the greater its destructive consequences for us and the people around us. Sin is a spiritual disease. Diseases have different degrees of severity and forms. There is a runny nose, it is treated quickly, but there is tuberculosis, it is treated for a long time, it is not easy and the consequences remain. Fornication, adultery, the destruction of the family are diseases that many suffer from modern people. Sins are serious, and they are not easily treated. The Church, healing the illnesses of the soul, appoints penitential penance after confession, depending on the gravity of the sin. Of course, the terms of penance, which are given in church canons, in modern Russian reality are inapplicable, therefore, penances are given by confessors according to their strength, based on the specific situation, the capabilities of the penitent and the degree of his churching. I'll give you an example. Most of the women in our country have had abortions. For an abortion, according to the 2nd canon of St. Basil the Great, it is necessary to excommunicate for 10 years. Can you imagine what will happen if we excommunicate all these women for such a period? But many of them had more than one abortion. After such a ban, some will never come to church again, so penances are now given as much as possible - because of the weakness and lack of churchness of our people.

Of course, Holy Scripture tells us about monogamy. And the Lord indicates only one reason for divorce - adultery of one of the spouses (see: Matt. 19: 9). By church rules If the marriage broke up due to adultery, the injured party was allowed to enter into another marriage. Also, remarriage was allowed due to widowhood. Now the Church condescends to the weakness of the people, due to the above reasons. Here is what is said in the Fundamentals of the Social Concept of the Russian Orthodox Church, a document adopted at the Council of Bishops in 2000: “The Church does not at all encourage second marriage. However, after a legal ecclesiastical divorce, according to canon law, a second marriage is permitted to the innocent spouse. Persons whose first marriage broke up was dissolved through their fault, entering into a second marriage is allowed only on condition of repentance and the fulfillment of the penance imposed in accordance with canonical rules.

You ask whether your second marriage is fornication, passion, or is it still a marriage and love is possible in it. Of course, your union is not fornication, it is a legal marriage, although not the first one. In the rite of the second marriage, even if widowers are married, repentant motives are very clearly traced, and the wedding takes place without crowns, as a sign that the spouses are no longer virgins and are remarrying. The Church has always treated the second marriage as an acceptable infirmity.

Now about love. Of course, love is possible in your marriage. The commandment to love is central to the New Testament. And if it so happened that people entered into a second marriage, they also have the opportunity to love and be loved.

I would like to talk a little about the difficulties and even the dangers of remarriage. Yes, repentance cleanses our sins, and the Lord in His mercy forgives them, but we have already said that very painful consequences inevitably remain.

You can often hear the stories of movie and pop stars and all kinds of public people about how happy they are in their fourth or fifth marriage, how they get along well with their ex-wives and husbands. And many people get the impression that everything is very easy and simple: no luck in the first marriage - it doesn’t matter, you can try again, and finally “my attempt No. 5” will bring happiness. Of course, the real life of stars is a secret for us, but something is still known about them. It is known, for example, that there are simply no more unhappy people in family life than artists, singers and poets. In this community, a close-knit family and love for life is a rare exception. Can we trust their revelations? I remember the story of the actor Stanislav Sadalsky. He once said something like this: “Sometimes it’s funny for me to hear the stories of my acquaintances of artists about what a wonderful family they have and how they love each other. After all, I know that there are such horns on each side that they no longer go through the door. And it happens the other way around: in an interview, the stars share the details of “terrible” family scandals specifically in order to “promote themselves”, create additional advertising for themselves, and draw attention to their person. Where exactly real life and where is the next Feature Film, is difficult to understand. Creative people in general people are difficult. I had occasion to confess professional artists, poets: these are special people. Their working tool nervous system. They themselves admitted that often in ordinary, real life they cannot disconnect from their performance on the stage, live their roles, images, continue to play them in life. This is their big problem.

A family psychologist with 20 years of experience, Irina Anatolyevna Rakhimova, once told me that, unfortunately, as a rule, everything is shallow with artists. They usually easily relate to mutual betrayals. But they do not have deep feelings, strong love. For some time they sincerely believe that they love, that they are happy, and then, when emotions cool down, they easily part. In addition, it is possible to judge whether the marriage was successful or not only after a long period of time.

But let's go down from the star Olympus to the earth. But what about us ordinary people? Let me give you a few examples that show that past sins and mistakes of youth can greatly interfere with family life. Middle-aged spouses from the Moscow region came to my temple. Good, friendly family; It is clear that they love each other. But this is the second marriage of the husband, from the first marriage there is a son. And this man repeatedly told me that when he has to meet with ex-wife, he has the strongest fornication thoughts and temptations, he begins to be very tormented by memories of their past life and he barely copes with himself so as not to cheat on his current wife. He cannot not communicate with his first wife, as he must see his son, and also help her with money.

Another friend of mine, let's call him Gennady, was married twice. Both marriages broke up, there are children from both wives. The children are still small, he is forced to communicate with them on the territory of their mothers. When he comes to them, he periodically has an intimate relationship with one or the other, despite the fact that Gena is a believer, a church person.

Alexander and Nadezhda cohabited for about a year, then got married, got married. Alexander had another woman before Nadia. Now the spouses go to the temple, regularly confess and take communion. But Nadezhda began to be tormented by fits of jealousy, she often reproaches Sasha with the fact that he had a mistress before her. Yes, and Alexander now often compares his wife with the "former" - unfortunately, not in favor of his wife.

And here is another example. A very young couple from the Vladimir region. They came to the Church already in marriage, before marriage they had bodily relations with each other, but did not live together. Before they met, they also led a life not too chaste. For several years they have been church life, often at confession and communion. But the past life does not want to let go. At the wife at a meeting with former friends several times it came almost to fornication; thank God, she found the strength to stop in time. The husband, suspecting something was wrong, began to be jealous, conflicts and quarrels became more frequent in the family.

In addition to problems of a spiritual nature, other pitfalls can lie in wait for second-married couples.

For those who have not encountered the problem of remarriage, it may seem that a divorced person with “experience” will have much easier time in family life than a first-time marriage. Still would! A lot of baggage has been acquired, cones are full, and now there is every chance not to make a mistake in choosing and to build relationships in marriage correctly. Unfortunately, there are very few cases when people really learned from past mistakes and would not step on the same rake again. Why? People tend to see not their own mistakes, but to blame others for everything: “It's not my fault that our marriage broke up; I'm just unlucky; spouse (a) got (was) very unsuitable (th), but in the second or third marriage everything will be different. And in a new marriage, everything turns out exactly the same. For some time, the spouses live in perfect harmony, and then the option with the first marriage is repeated. Without admitting one's guilt in what happened, without a deep analysis of one's mistakes and one's behavior in general, there will be no normal relations in a new marriage.

One of my female psychologist friends strongly recommended that those who survived a breakup (by the way, not only in marriage) for some time - a year or more - not make new acquaintances, but start working on themselves, their spiritual growth, in order to understand: what prevents me from being happy in marriage what are the disadvantages? Why did our union fall apart? Only then there are chances for happiness in marriage. I must say that with such a correct approach, sometimes it is possible to restore a divorced marriage, and I am a witness to this. The advice “not to rush to create a new union” is also valuable because there is a very great temptation immediately after a divorce to start looking for new relationships. And most often nothing good comes of this: the hasty creation of a family is often done in spite of the first spouse, or a person seeks quick solace in a new marriage, that is, he is guided not by love, but by some of his own selfish interests. Sometimes offended people want to increase their self-esteem by entering into a new marriage. The consequence of all this haste is an unfortunate choice and further family problems.

In any case, a new marriage always does not begin with clean slate, people with "experience" voluntarily or involuntarily bring in new family those wrong attitudes, mistakes in communication, false models of behavior that interfered with them in their first marriage and contributed to its breakup. This is something to seriously think about.

In conclusion, I would like to say about the most important thing: what about people who did not save their first union and created a new family? You need to start, of course, with a confession, even if you are the injured party. Guilt in divorce is almost always mutual. In addition, not seeing your guilt, your mistakes, you will repeat them already in a new marriage. The second thing to do is to create “fruit worthy of repentance” (Matt. 3: 8), that is, try to live in such a way that in a new marriage you would not only not repeat old sins, but also constantly cultivate and strengthen your love and relationships . You must create a Christian family, focused on true love, patience, humility and mutual concessions. Of course, constant prayer to God with a request for help in family life and mutual prayer of spouses for each other is necessary.

The previously mentioned I.A. Rakhimova strongly advises people who have entered into a new marriage to pay special attention to the basic law of family life: to make another person happy. Do not look for consolations in a new marriage only for yourself and solve your own problems, but fulfill the commandment to love your neighbor.

And, of course, use the negative experience of a past life in order not to repeat previous mistakes in a new union. You can also advise to read more good books about family and marriage and constantly think about how to improve your family life. Marriage is not an easy thing, and even more so for second-marrieds.

Question : My husband left his first wife and married me, we are painted with him. His previous marriage was married, there was a child. Recently, we also had a son. It turns out that I broke the family. What do we do now? My husband and I have just started taking our first steps in the temple.

Answer: Of course, your husband committed a sin, and you - at least indirectly - are to blame for this. If your union was not a legal marriage, but simply cohabitation, I would definitely say that your husband needs to return to his former family, but you are legally married to him. And even if he leaves you now, returns to his first wife and tries to restore his previous marriage, it remains to be seen whether he will be able to revive the past family, and your new marriage with him will be destroyed in the process. I think that everything should be left as is. What happened, happened, you can’t return the past, you need to live in the present. What about in the present? You have a family, you have a son, he needs a father and mother who love him and love each other.

You are just beginning your journey in the Church. You need to start it with repentance: both you and your spouse need to confess and suffer penance from the priest for your sin. The sin is serious, and only a spiritual life according to the commandments, regular confession and communion can help you heal spiritual wounds.

Question : How to deal with prodigal thoughts and immodest views of the opposite sex, when in spring and summer most girls and women wear immodest, open clothes? It is very difficult to fight sinful thoughts and desires. And how to keep your eyesight at work if you are surrounded by beautiful young women?

Answer: Any sin - and fornication, and drunkenness and anger - begins with the acceptance of a thought, a thought about it. For example, a man went into a store to buy something, and his eyes fell on a display case with alcoholic beverages. And all of a sudden the thought: “Shouldn’t I get a bottle of fortified red to drink tonight? Better yet, two. If he coped with this thought, overcame it or got distracted, he did not commit a sin, but if he agreed with the thought and brought it to life, he committed the sin of drunkenness. It also happens with the thought of fornication. In the beginning, it appears (most often, through some kind of visual, visual image), then a person accepts it and commits mental fornication, and then real fornication or masturbation. In ascetic patristic literature, all this is very well and in detail described. Sinful thoughts are a common thing, most often they are instilled in us by the devil himself. The Holy Fathers teach us not to regard them as our blood property, not to be afraid of them, but also not to talk to them. The most important task is to learn how to cut off thoughts in time, when they only appear on the border of our consciousness.

Yes, it's really difficult modern man, the modern Christian to keep his sight and mind clean. Difficult, but possible. Sin begins when we look at a person with lust, as the Gospel says: "... everyone who looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart" (Matt. 5:28), - when we abandon immodest, prodigal views. You have to be very careful with looks in general. If we have a weakness in our souls for the fair sex, we know this weakness, we need to try, being on the street, in the subway and in other in public places, less "staring" around. It’s generally impolite to look closely at people, and there’s certainly no benefit from this. One girl I know said that her favorite activity in public transport is to look at passengers: how they are dressed, what their faces are, what they might be thinking about in this moment. This activity is very useless. Why? You can immediately commit several sins: condemn a person according to appearance or facial expression, to envy or be seduced by the very prodigal thought. So it's better to say a prayer, read or listen to something in the headphones than to stare around.

If we know that we are very tempted female body, the first thing to do is not to fix your eyes on immodestly dressed women. So, the photographer is looking for something to photograph, but not everything is removed; if he does not need some object, he simply moves the camera. But if he aims and has already “clicked”, then this image has already remained with him, in his camera, and the photographer will then consider it. And for us, ordinary people, so we need to fix, “photograph” only what we need. If we fix our attention on women, then it is very easy to accept a prodigal thought, an image and start committing a mental sin with her. We need to notice less beautiful women around, not to cling to them with our eyes, to perceive this diversity of dresses and bodies as a kind of background, to look at the main thing, at what we really need.

Second moment. The sin is not in the look, but in the attitude. How do we perceive a woman: as a target for lust or as something neutral, not ours? Let me give you an analogy. Imagine that we are in Moscow, somewhere on Tverskaya street. Luxurious cars are all around: Audi, Mercedes, Land Cruisers; sometimes even a Bentley will flash by ... And we have a modest Zhiguli, or we generally go on foot. And now we have a choice: either fall into sin (envy, lust, condemnation), or simply not pay attention to all this auto-magnificence, or maybe even be happy for the owners of foreign cars. Yes, it's beautiful, prestigious, comfortable, but it's not mine and most likely never will be mine.

The same is true of women's views. This is especially true for married men. As he says folk wisdom: "The devil puts a spoonful of honey in someone else's wife." For a married man, there should be only one woman - his wife; he should evaluate as a woman only her.

Now about the team. Here, too, you can protect yourself, even if we communicate with beautiful women every day. After all, a man myself gives himself permission: I’ll look at this one, but I won’t look at this one - it’s not mine. Only myself. Imagine that some young man has a beautiful sister, who at the same time does not dress very modestly. Or his mother is still young and beautiful. But after all, even if this young man does not adhere to strong moral principles, he still will not inflame them, commit mental fornication with them. He, of course, will struggle with these thoughts and desires in every possible way. After all, this is unthinkable, forbidden, this is my mother and Native sister! So you can fight? So we need to imagine that all the women who seduce us are our sisters and treat them in a kindred way, with respect, but without lust. To see in them not a seductive woman, but a person with whom one can communicate (of course, with caution), who can be helped if necessary, for example, at work, but no more. As St. Theophan the Recluse writes, when communicating with women, you need to learn to keep your heart on a leash and look at them “through the eyes of children who look at women purely, without bad thoughts.” I remember one famous musician told how his attitude towards young fans, female fans attending his concerts, gradually changed. In his youth, they seduced him, he looked at them with lust, but over time, somewhere after 40 years, when his children had already grown up, he began to look at the fans as his adult daughters, already without impure thoughts.

Vladislav Tsypin, professor, doctor church history, Master of Theology, Head of the Department of Church and Practical Disciplines, Lecturer at the Moscow Theological Academy:

- Canonically, second marriage is unacceptable. Canons reject this unconditionally. Experiences in the introduction of second marriage in different time took place in some Local Churches. Here, in the Russian Church, this topic was discussed in pre-revolutionary times, but the Local Council of 1917-1918. such a possibility was unequivocally rejected. Nevertheless, in our country this tradition was introduced by schismatic Renovationists, and in Ukraine by schismatics, “self-consecrated”.

This is an extremely dubious decision, from a canonical point of view, which, unfortunately, can even provoke a schism within the Churches. It is very likely that there will be bishops and priests who will never want to put up with this. As for inter-church relations, I do not think that this alone could lead to a rupture of the local Churches with Constantinople, but if there is a combination of some other decisions, everything can be. This we cannot know in advance.

If we talk about widowed priests, especially young ones, celibacy is a problem for them. But this is not a problem for the Church. There is a path that was established here in Russia in the 19th century, when a widowed priest in young age could file a petition for deprivation of his rank (in view of the fact that his celibate life was difficult for him), while subsequently he was limited in rights to a lesser extent than the one who was defrocked by the court. I also want to note that the Church will not solve its personnel problems by keeping priests who have entered into a second marriage in the service.

This is a departure from the tradition of the Orthodox Church

Vladislav Petrushko

Vladislav Petrushko, Doctor of Church History, Candidate of Theology, Professor:

– This decision is clearly an expression of the modernist course that has dominated the Patriarchate of Constantinople over the last century. If they recognized our Renovationists as the legitimate power after the Revolution (who, in turn, introduced similar decisions on remarriage), then, in general, there is nothing surprising here. This is a departure from the tradition of the Orthodox Church, which was absolutely unambiguously spelled out in the canons of our Church.

A strange and controversial decision that is contrary to the canons

Archpriest Mykola Danilevich, Deputy Chairman of the Department for External Church Relations of the Ukrainian Orthodox Church

Archpriest Nikolai Danilevich. Photo: Facebook

– The Holy Synod of the Patriarchate of Constantinople allowed the second marriage for priests.

This is reported by the Greek church news site Romfea, calling this decision historic.

However, permission for a second marriage can be given only in the case of the widowhood of the priest, that is, if the mother dies, or if the mother herself leaves her husband-priest.

At the same time, permission for a second marriage is not given if the priest himself leaves his wife and wants to marry another. It is said that all these cases should be separately and with special attention considered by the diocesan bishop. Will be sent out soon official letter Patriarch with detailed explanations of how to proceed in such cases.

As for me, this is a strange decision that is contrary to church canons, or at least quite controversial.

Of course, everything happens in life and there are exceptions to the rules, and sometimes bishops allow for the benefit of the Church (if the priest is good and active) or for the sake of indulgence, individual priests enter into a second marriage, but elevating exceptions to the rank of a rule is probably too much. According to church rules, a priest can only marry once. If something does not work out with his wife, then the priest either remains celibate and continues to serve, or goes to the monastery, or leaves the priesthood and marries a second time. There are exceptions, as I wrote above.

It is interesting that the Patriarchate of Constantinople wanted to carry out this decision at the Pan-Orthodox Council in Crete back in 2016. But everything Local Churches then opposed. The metropolitan Savva of Warsaw, as they say, spoke especially sharply on this issue at that time.

Now Constantinople nevertheless made this decision, but within the framework of its Patriarchate, if it didn’t work out at the Pan-Orthodox level.

Prepared by Olga Lunina

To the question If widowed priests were allowed to marry, would the moral character of the Orthodox Church be higher? given by the author Yoyn Svaroga the best answer is This is a serious problem in the Orthodox Church. An Orthodox priest can marry before ordination once. A widowed priest cannot marry a second time. (A widowed layman can marry before three times.) If he marries a second time, the administering bishop will defrock him
Saint Luke, Archbishop of Krasnoyarsk and Yenisei, was married in the past and had four children. His wife died at a young age of tuberculosis. He could not marry a second time, as he was a priest of the Orthodox Church. He left his children with strangers and went to a monastery... Later he became an archbishop and years later he was canonized as a saint in the Orthodox Church
But let us return to the ban on widowed priests to marry a second time. There are no such prohibitions in the Bible, they were later invented by people at church councils. Prior to the rule of Justinian (4th century), bishops had the right to marry
A man can live long time in complete carnal abstinence only if he is sick or an old man. Several times I had to see widowed Orthodox priests - these are deeply unhappy people. They were widowed at a young age. The young man was left alone. He cannot enter into a second marriage under pain of defrocking. Loneliness, attempts to fill spiritual anguish with wine, adultery on the sly, fear that the bishop will find out everything and be deprived of his rank - he begins to drown grief in wine even more, becoming an alcoholic. The children of a widowed priest will never know maternal warmth and care. Yes, and a man needs both a mistress in the house and a faithful girlfriend who will understand and support in Hard time, but also the carnal aspect ... (As I said, long-term sexual abstinence is only possible for the sick and the elderly)
Catholics in their practice of celibacy have already reached pedophilia
Mandatory celibacy catholic church brings with it many tragedies
The Churches of Britain and Ireland Together (CHBIV) published a report in which they called the tradition of celibate priests main reason pedophilia in the Church. According to the authors of the report entitled "Time to act", Catholic priests are in a state of "depressed psychological development"because of the impossibility of intimate relationships. "Celibacy and the heavy nature of the priestly ministry makes these men depressed, dissatisfied and withdrawn," the report says. "As a result, priests become prone to sexual crime, often based on sexual obsession."
The ban on marrying widowed priests lowers the moral character of the church, and leads to very tragic consequences: alcoholism and debauchery of the Orthodox clergy. After all, legal marriage (according to the BIBLE) - the best remedy from fornication
For example, among Protestants, a widowed priest can marry. Among Lutherans (one of the traditional areas of Protestantism), the bishop can marry. When I was writing thesis on the culture of various peoples, I had the opportunity to communicate with the family of a Lutheran bishop. He is married. He has a wonderful a happy family, wife children.
But, unfortunately, unmarried (celibate) bishops will never lift the ban on widowed priests from marrying. Widowed priests will drink themselves and quietly fornicate in the hope that the bishop will not find out (As the saying goes, "Not a thief is caught"). And if the priest decides to marry, then he will be deprived of his dignity. Yes, and he himself will not go for it, because he usually does not have a secular education. He is afraid that secular life will not be able to earn money, will disappear. So he fornicates on the sly, but drowns grief in wine ...

Answer from Butterflies in my stomach[guru]
But what about the expression It’s not good for a person to be alone, because if someone freezes, he will warm (I don’t remember verbatim, it’s somewhere in the Bible) And how can a man live his whole life without a woman? What he doesn't have natural needs? This is quite a normal phenomenon ... and inherent in everyone .. How will this lonely priest cope with this ???

Answer from Lee L-1[guru]
Undoubtedly!!!))

Answer from **[guru]
Moral character depends on a relationship with God, and not on prohibitions or permissions.

Answer from cockroaches in my head ate a squirrel[guru]
above the plinth!

Answer from Malachiev Malachi[guru]
Marital duties have never been a burden for normal person. And they don’t distract from serving God in any way, but on the contrary, they give peace to the soul. I don't think that marrying a widow is a big sin. On the contrary, this is a good deed, I can not understand this prohibition.

MOSCOW, September 4 - RIA Novosti. The decision of the Patriarchate of Constantinople to allow remarriage for its clergy is contrary to church canons and established practice and will be met with disapproval in everything Orthodox world, priests of the Russian Orthodox Church told RIA Novosti.

Earlier, the Holy Synod of the Church of Constantinople allowed members of the clergy to marry again if the priest was widowed or the wife herself left him. The decision on the second marriage of priests was proposed by the Patriarchate of Constantinople back in 2016 at the Council of Crete, but then other local Orthodox churches opposed this.

"Contrary to Scripture"

"Of course, this decision is contrary to the centuries-old practice and the direct indication of the word Holy Scripture which instructs the cleric to be "the husband of one wife". Or unmarried, "celibate" - this is no longer Scripture, but subsequent practice, "said the chairman of the educational committee of the Russian Orthodox Church, Archpriest Maxim Kozlov. He also recalled that, in accordance with an established centuries-old tradition, marriage should take place before consecration ( ordination) of a priest.

“This has been the establishment of the Orthodox Church for at least one and a half millennia. What a need arose in the Patriarchate of Constantinople to revise this establishment, I can’t say, since this is an internal matter of the Patriarchate of Constantinople. But I am sure that it will not raise either its authority in everything Orthodox world, no agreement between Orthodox churches will not add, nor will it help to solve the personnel problem, if it exists in the Church of Constantinople," Kozlov noted.

Commenting on the content of the document, he drew attention to the fact that it we are talking on the permissibility of a second marriage for clergy or widows, or those who were left by their wife. "But even if the first case can still be somehow understandably assessed, then in a divorce situation, each time to give an assessment of who is more to blame, who can?" - said the interlocutor of the agency. According to him, based on the examples of laymen's divorces, one can conclude that the person who decides to file for divorce is not always "guilty more than the one who actually led the family to disintegration and achieved this step by his actions."

"Therefore, I think that this decision will not be fully understood. universal orthodoxy", - believes the head of the educational committee of the Russian Orthodox Church.

In addition, the priest recalled that the issue of married episcopate and second marriage of clergy had previously been raised in the history of the Russian Church: by the Renovationists in the post-revolutionary period.

“And, by the way, this was one of the important factors by which the fullness of the church people evaluated the innovations that were proposed by the renovationists. I don’t want to draw parallels, but I can’t see any analogy here with what happened almost 100 years ago,” he added.

Archpriest Maxim Kozlov expressed the hope that the said "decision of the Synod, modern language Patriarchate of Constantinople, will not be "implemented".

Athos will be indignant

Former head of the patriarchal press service, rector of the Church of the Holy Martyr Tatiana at Moscow State University named after M.V. Lomonosov, Archpriest Vladimir Vigilyansky also noted that in Russia the priests perceived this decision of Constantinople as a violation of all the decrees of church councils and the instructions of the apostles themselves. According to Vigilyansky, it "as if pushes the clergy to a new marriage."

Father Vladimir admitted that earlier he sometimes heard about such decisions of bishops, but most often - in relation to deacons (of the lowest degree of priesthood) and as an exception, in a particular case.

“Then they (hierarchs) took upon themselves, one might say, this deviation from canon law: there the bishop will already answer before God. But when this is accepted as a rule for all clergy, this, of course, pushes others to violate ... This should have be the decision of at least the Council, but not the Synod. Because this is a very serious, important issue. Moreover, the Ecumenical Patriarchate, of course, will face very strong resistance from the monasteries of Athos here. And this is such an "Overton window" even for its own diocese ", Vigilyansky said.