Sections of the site
Editor's Choice:
- Buryat State University
- Siberian Institute of International Relations and Regional Studies (simoir): address, faculties, practice and employment
- The best books on economics and finance for beginners and professionals “Undercover Economist”, Tim Harford
- Tax received from abroad
- Choosing a university and training format
- Graphic patterns as the basis of a trading system
- Is it difficult to get into police school (College of the Ministry of Internal Affairs)
- Mindfulness: meaning, stages, lifestyle and development of the mind What does awareness mean?
- Specialist in the field of commerce and trade International commerce who to work with
- Gap year: what is it and is it possible in Russia? What do they do in gap year?
Advertising
Why has it become fashionable to be a gopnik? Why being a gopnik has become fashionable “Without a sucker, life is bad” |
From time immemorial, humanity has been tormented by one question. Happened because of him terrible wars, cities were built and destroyed, entire nations disappeared and new countries appeared. The question sounded banal - “Who is cooler?” IN modern world, with its population of many thousands, the criteria for coolness have spread so much that the point of highest steepness for each stratum of the population has become its own. In order not to repeat the mistakes of ancient times, below is detailed guide“How to become cool” for various subcultures, personalities and other contents of planet Earth. One of the most ancient diasporas that have survived to this day are the Gopniks. Not yet being such due to slow thought processes, they killed Caesar by putting him on a pen, pulled off a large-scale scam with the Trojan Horse, discovered America, shot off half the face of the Sphinx and marinated Lennon in the mausoleum. These actions show how powerful Gopniks were in ancient times. The current generation of gopniks was influenced by rays-from-space, which affected their already not very fast thought processes. Subsequently, they invented the so-called “caps” to protect against exposure to rays. But let us not deviate from the topic of rise in the ranks of these undoubtedly valiant and courageous people. 1. First, you need to be born into a family of a dysfunctional mechanic and conductor. It is advisable to be born in one-room apartment on the ground floor of the so-called “Gopnitsky” areas, in order to absorb the aura surrounding you from a very young age, increasing your coolness. 2. Having reached the age of 14-18, you must definitely join a gang, taking away as cruelly as possible a string bag with empty bottles from a homeless person in front of the unauthoritative, but basking in the sun those who know life and the concept of gopniks with a low steepness value. Having sensed your potential, they will certainly accept you into their team. 4. Watch your appearance! The presence on you of types of clothing alien to the Gopniks can once and for all destroy your authority, and at the same time undermine your health. Wear “sweatpants”, “abibass”, “tsepulya”, “chotki” and certainly “nishtyak” (cap). AND REMEMBER: “HUGO BO” is cooler than any “HOGO BOSS”. By watching you and seeing you without her for more than 24 hours, gopniks can understand that you are not susceptible to rays-from-space and reject your friendship. The author recommends, in addition to the standard Gopnik outfit, using an old man purse and mobile phone 2008 model. It is also strongly recommended to shave to a state close to zero. 4. By following these simple rules, you will quickly gain decent authority among the gopniks, but do not forget to imitate them. Squatting is a great ritual that proves your openness to the world of gopniks. How weirder place Where you sit, the cooler it is. Don't forget to press your heels, otherwise it won't be too bad. Ideally, you should sleep on your haunches, travel on public transport, stand in line for beer, chew sunflower seeds, and so on. 6. To achieve the highest gopovsky toughness, you must also fight daringly, be able to eat “nishtyaks” and “seeds”, take away phones and food from civilians (the so-called suckers) and gather your own kind around you to carry out joint rituals. 7. When your appearance will terrify the “lakhs”, there will be at least 10-15 gopniks around you, you will cut through on a tinted “Vasmera” and gnaw on females with buckets - Congratulations - you have become a cool gopnik!!! Memo for Gopnik on how to fight correctly: A fight is a logical and often inevitable continuation of a discussion. As a rule, a fight goes through several stages. The first stage usually involves squinting your eyes, putting your hands on your hips, and adopting intimidating postures (putting your hands on your hips, hunched over, looking at your opponent from under your brows, spitting on the floor from time to time). The second stage consists of trying to assess the combat readiness of their colleagues (will they run away?). The third stage is choosing the weakest opponent from among your opponents and rushing towards him. The fourth stage is direct argumentation. The fifth and final stage - (usually in response to a clear advantage of opponents) consists of an attempt to create panic and disengage by loudly shouting: “Boys, the cops are coming! Run away!" (As a rule, this is not true, since the police usually arrive only after they are sure that the fight is over) HOW TO BECOME A GOPNIK? Do you want to join the GOP movement, which is popular throughout the post-Soviet space? You don't have to answer! Gopniks are extremely stylish people, and since this is true, they dress stylishly! Do you also want to wear caps, two-stripes (and if your status in the hierarchy of real boys allows, then three-stripes, four-stripes) pants, the most fashionable sneakers from such popular companies as Adibas, Abidas, Abibas, Adidac? Do you want to be a full-fledged bearer of a real purse filled with emptiness? Then reading this article will help you a lot! First, let's understand the terms. So, Gopus vulgaris (Latin - common gopnik) is a humanoid animal from the class of mammals, which has some similarities with normal person species Homo sapiens (lat. - reasonable man). The character is characterized by aggressiveness and bitterness. Appearance - narrow forehead, a dull face, not burdened with intelligence. What do you need to have in order to become a real gopnik? 1) Cap. There's nowhere without her. The cap is the head of everything, no matter how strange it may sound. Look at the illustration. In the eyes of the poor gopnik, who is adjusting his extravagant hairstyle, one can read despondency, and it is clear from it that he is literally losing orientation in space without such an important clothing accessory. 2) Pants. 3) Shoes. This is practically one of the main characteristic features Gopnikov. The most popular shoes are sneakers. If you see an alleged Gopnik wearing boots or shoes, it is most likely not a Gopnik. This is either a bandit or just a civilian. Sneakers must be branded: Rebook, Adidac or an equally famous manufacturer. However, most people still prefer Abibas running models with their toes turned up. 4) Jacket. Everything is simple here. Just a sports jacket with inscriptions of the same name on the sneakers. 5) Purse. By the way, this is an incredibly useful and convenient thing! Gopniks usually carry emptiness in it. You also shouldn’t break the established tradition. 6) Seeds (or just seeds). If you don’t always have a handful of seeds in your pocket, you risk losing several kilograms in weight. Rare individuals of Gopus vulgaris have been seen eating normal food. Which lexicon do you need to have to become a gopnik? The hardest part is that you will have to give up all the vocabulary that you have used throughout your life. It's hard. You need to be able to use simple and understandable phrases. Let's learn to say hello. Learning to develop a conversation. If your interlocutor, due to some external circumstances beyond your control, did not want to communicate with you and he, for no apparent reason, resorted to assault, then in order to once again prove that you are a real gopnik, you should politely ask: Keep in mind that the world of Gopniks is very interesting and diverse! Do not deny yourself the pleasure of joining this popular youth movement! 100 rules of a real Gopnik 1.Vasya – this sounds proud. Vasya, this is an addition to rules No. 1. This is a stupid dictionary of terms. Money is money. To bully is to take away money. Just recently, starving and saving money for bags Chanel and scarves Louis Vuitton it was fashionable. Now it has become fashionable to go hungry and save money for a yellow T-shirt with the company logo DHL, engaged in the delivery of documents and small cargo around the world. Such a T-shirt released by the brand Vetements under strict guidance Demny Gvasalia, costs €210. This is, of course, cheaper than the same LV scarves, but the essence remains the same - this is a T-shirt DHL. Recently I saw a delivery service employee wearing that same yellow T-shirt carrying boxes into the office. Then the thought flashed through my head to buy a T-shirt from him, supposedly it would be cheaper, and even real! Branded! Where did this strange fashion for shapeless hoodies, hats tucked over the ears, giant men's bomber jackets, knee-high socks and sweatpants come from? The bow I described probably reminded you Gopnik Lech who sits with seeds at your entrance. Unhappy Alexey simply does not know that people like him are now posing for the lenses of the best street style photographers at Fashion Week in New York. It’s convenient for Alexey to “protect his area” in black sweatpants Adidas, cap Nike and a hoodie. Convenience is what connects the style of the gopnik Lekha and the owner of a modeling agency, which promotes not only the style of a street guy devoid of chic and gloss, but also introduces models at all fashion shows with the faces of people who, until adulthood, played at the entrance to hundreds. At this moment, a good half of the population, who, at the sight of the pumped-up sexy men at the show Giorgio Armani and amazing women on the show Victoria's Secret t moaned with indignation, begins to rejoice with happiness. Previously, they believed that “clothes should be made for people, and not for skinny dolls and oiled men,” but now they all decided that each of them could become fashionable. Moreover, when the word " style"became associated with Gosha Rubchinsky, approximately 85% of the Russian population had in their closet everything they needed to become “ stylish». Now let's take a closer look. Gosha Rubchinsky- what kind of fruit is this and what is it eaten with? Commenting on the show of his second collection, which took place in the building of a former Old Believer church, Rubchinsky speaks: " The church turned out to be the perfect place, saying exactly what I wanted to say" What did you want to say Gosha, making a canonized alien a symbol of his collection is not clear to me personally. What is clear is that neither crazy prices, nor aliens, nor the crosses and flags that regularly appear on his T-shirts prevent Gaucher from selling successfully.
Collections Rubchinsky- these are the same socks, bags and alcoholic T-shirts stretched to the middle of the shin. But only these items are pre-ordered by fashionistas all over the world long before the collection goes on sale. The range of fans of Gosha’s work is incredibly wide. After he was taken under his wing Comme des garçons, Rubchinsky’s business quickly went uphill. For example, among my friends, it is worn by both a black fashionista from Michigan and a girl whose jewelry flaunts on every second it-girl. And what is it worth? A$AP Rocky, who performed in a blue sweatshirt from last year’s Rubchinsky collection even before it appeared in KM20 And Dover Street market! The same thing, in principle, applies to Demny Gvasalia- graduate of the Antwerp Academy of Arts, founder of the brand Vetements and the new creative director of Balenciaga. Returning to the story about the yellow T-shirt, it should be noted that all of Gvasalia’s things are in great demand. Walks in a bomber jacket with long sleeves Miroslava Duma, in a skirt Starwars flaunts, Lena Temnikova has already been spotted wearing a hoodie with Rose And Jack from " Titanic”, and young people mix Vetements items with Rubchinsky’s clothes. Why did all this suddenly turn into " at the very fashion trend "(these are the words in the band's song Face With a telling name « Gosha Rubchinsky")? To be honest, such a hype around things in the normcore style (the desire to look “ as everybody", don't stand out) you shouldn't be surprised. After all, bright personality has been in fashion for too long. Girls are tired of exhausting themselves with diets and sports in order to look like skinny models, and guys are indignant that girls prefer only stylish and athletic ones. And then, like a bolt from the blue, people appeared who made the “comfortable” stylish. Now every second one is trending. The funny thing is that all those whom we could call gopniks a couple of years ago have turned into fashionistas in baseball caps Ralph Lauren. Only here is society, accustomed to beautiful fashion, refuses to accept into its ranks these strange people who spend their free time on " Armagh" and near the department store " Color». It seems that normcore designers were trying to convey to consumers the idea that fashion should be accessible. But instead of making beautiful and inexpensive things that will turn simple guy into a prince, stores began to be filled with expensive clothes, which turn the same simple guy into a gopnik from Northern Chertanovo. Instagram: @levashovaelagina, @lord.jennings Perhaps the most unpleasant situation on the street is when a group of young and strong guys surrounds you and very friendly asks you to give up your phone and money. The paradox of the jewelry gop-stop is that in most cases the victim gives everything himself, without threats from the “boys”, without beatings and very quietly. How to talk to gopniks if you have already found yourself in such an unpleasant situation? Is it even possible to do anything against these people and preserve not only your property, but also your self-esteem? At first glance, the advice is quite contradictory, but it is possible to identify a reasonable strategy suitable for use. To begin with, it’s worth understanding what kind of phenomenon you have to fight against and how to distinguish gopniks from banal robbers or hooligans. Who are the gopniks?You shouldn’t call everyone who encroaches on your property gopniks. By and large, these are not just aggressive youth, but so-called good boys. Gopniks have their own specific set of rules and unwritten laws and do not respect lawlessness, this is what makes it possible to get out of the situation. The rules are not violated by those who do not want to lose authority in the eyes of the “boys”, therefore, you need to put the gopnik in a position where he can no longer encroach on your property and physical health without the risk of being branded as a lawless man. How to talk to gopniks if there is no chance to avoid the conversation altogether? In this regard, the advice circulated on the Internet is absolutely in agreement: the main parameter that should be observed is within yourself. A demonstrative belief that you are right will solve the problem in about half of the cases. At the same time, it is advisable to restrain yourself and not slide into direct aggression, which will only lead to a fight. However, if you really believe that you will prevail in a fight, no one can forbid you to defend your integrity by force. Complex go-stop rulesIn most cases, gopniks try to avoid direct violence; in this case, law enforcement agencies will have fewer reasons for dissatisfaction, and their reputation will not suffer. The ideal gop-stop is a neat but thoughtful pressure on the victim to give up everything she has. material values. Application physical damage varying degrees The gravity is aggravated by the article, under which, if caught, the “boys” can be prosecuted, so they try to stay within the framework of such an article as extortion. Theoretically, this is a kind of subculture - Gopniks are different from ordinary people appearance, behavior, life values and a special vocabulary. But other subcultures try not to come into conflict with law enforcement agencies using the method of absence of illegal actions, rather than successful maneuvering and the principle “not caught, not a thief.” It should be noted that gopniks usually go to another area of the city to hunt for other people’s property, so there is less risk of meeting acquaintances, potential witnesses who will remember both the first and last name, and even how a possible person involved in a criminal case studied at school. “Don’t shit where you live” is a fairly simple and widespread rule that not only gopniks, but also other criminal elements try to adhere to. If your neighbors are gopniks, this is not a reason to worry. Of course, such a neighborhood is inconvenient and sometimes noisy, but the average Kolyan in a tracksuit can turn out to be a pretty good guy who, if anything happens, will “fit in” for you against the visiting “guys”. Good neighborly relations are not alien to Gopniks; on the contrary, many of them reverently value good treatment. There are known cases when a group of gopniks helped push a stalled car or in some other way helped out those in trouble. Of course, it is worth considering that isolated cases cannot be considered the rule; another company may turn out to be far from being so peaceful. How to talk to gopniks in terms of concepts?Common advice that comes across on the Internet: try to pass as one of your own, use the same vocabulary, they won’t touch yours. Alas, we will have to disappoint lovers of mimicry: only the boys who decided to play gopnik and scare a gullible passerby will be deceived. Real “guys” who have been moving in criminal circles for several days will quickly recognize your disguise, and the situation can seriously worsen - not everyone will be able to “handle the hairdryer” so as to pass for a gopnik. But learning the thieves' language can be useful. Firstly, this is entertaining in itself, and secondly, if you meet with gopniks, this will help avoid misunderstandings. On the other hand, we understand most of the expressions from the boys’ vocabulary intuitively: it’s unlikely good man will be called a “rat” or some other unpleasant word. What are the mysterious “concepts” according to which Gopniks choose a victim? Part of the answer lies in the very name of the victim - endured. This is a person who tolerates the wrong attitude towards himself, therefore, allows himself to be treated this way. This is where the universal instruction on how to talk to gopniks follows: first of all, you need to stop conforming to the appearance of an ideal victim. This will solve about fifty percent of the problems. So, two main points - self-confidence and categorical rejection The right guys value respect towards themselves; it is the phrase “he doesn’t respect us, he’s rude to us” that can become a signal for an attack and a justification for any aggression towards the victim. Indeed, how not to kick someone who did not show due respect? WITH psychological point This makes it even easier not to lose control of the situation - as soon as you are carried away by emotions and overwhelmed by fear, you can consider the battle lost. Controlling your intonation and expressions will help you stay calm. “Without a sucker, life is bad”A sufferer and a sucker are not exactly the same thing, but the result, as a rule, is the same. The difference between these two types of victims is that they endured, and, accordingly, endure everything, and a sucker is a person who is simple-minded to the point of stupidity. It is worth noting that the slang of gopniks is not the truth; it is, rather, an excuse for one’s own actions, which is based on blaming the victim, because she is supposedly to blame for her misfortunes. This is often voiced to the police when it comes time to lay charges. Defenders of law and order find themselves in a difficult situation when it turns out that no one beat the victim or demanded that he give up his money or phone. An elegant, proper gop-stop is furnished in such a way that the victim, in confusion, gives everything himself. It is worth knowing that gopniks never approach the first person they see on the street; they carefully choose their victim. Large groups even have spotters who keep an eye on citizens filming large sums money in ATMs, they tell their accomplices exactly how the target is dressed, which way he went, where he put the money. Outwardly insecure people fall into the zone increased risk, especially if you are walking alone. Any rules of behavior with gopniks begin with the point “not to be a victim.” If you see a suspicious person watching you, try to leave the potentially dangerous area as quickly as possible and let him know that you have seen him. A careful look is enough - you have “copied” him, this is a potential risk for the entire group, in case you have time to call and get help. "Hop stop - we're coming around the corner"The “boys” themselves highlight the main mistakes of their victims, you should not ignore information “from the other side of the barricades”, the words of the gopniks may seem offensive, but there is some truth in them. Some victims have the opportunity to see the danger from afar if the gopniks just sit in a crowd and drink beer - they usually behave quite noisily and do not hide. If you are caught in just such a company, just walking past on your business, most likely, you really attract attention to yourself with an emphatically frightened or simple-minded look. Walking at dusk, lighting your way with the latest model of iPhone, is also not the best strategy. If, as in famous song, they approached you from around the corner, this means that you were chosen as a victim in advance and you did not notice it. You should not give the initiative to the aggressors, although not everyone has the talent to seize the initiative. If you have the gift of rhetoric, this will help to “talk” your opponents, but if not, then do not hesitate to flee. There are many other potential victims wandering around; the likelihood of you being targeted is not as great as it seems. We have to admit that sometimes it is better to give everything they ask for and leave. Of course, this is humiliating, annoying, and there is a risk that the convenient victim will now be greeted regularly and with open arms, turning into a “cash cow.” Some prefer to go into open confrontation so as not to damage their pride. We have to admit that this is the personal choice of each person, and only he is responsible for this choice. Self-confidence as a weaponAny conversation with gopniks begins with an attempt to attract your attention. For example, they may call you with the phrase “there is a conversation” or even the banal “hear, come here.” If you do not have the opportunity to get out of unnecessary communication, you should not obey and approach - many do this mechanically, but according to the logic of the “boys”, by doing this you demonstrate submission. The first rule: whoever needs it will do it himself. Thus, you shift the emphasis of submission from yourself to your interlocutor. The universal answer to any Gopnik question: “I don’t know.” That's right - he demands your attention, therefore, he must introduce himself, approach, literally report on the legality of his appeal. You are on your territory and in your right. After this, the aggressor will be forced to either comply with your demands, or go into chaos and be the first to show aggression, which is not held in high esteem among normal “guys.” It is important that if you are not able to organically switch to his language and masterfully “use a hair dryer”, it is better not to try. A real gopnik will quickly see through your attempt to “change the suit” and use it against you. For example, he may accuse you of disrespect, of trying to deceive, thereby yanking control over yourself, and you will have to get out again. If the intended victim behaves calmly and with dignity, the “boys” may suspect that they have attacked the wrong person. Indeed, you never know what, suddenly an intelligent-looking person has a gun in his pocket or his dad - Criminal authority? Now you can't be sure of anything. Superiority moral and physicalOf course, if the phrase “I don’t know you” worked and the conversation proceeds with mutual respect, we can consider the round won. Often such a conversation ends with a handshake and goodbye, perhaps a joint smoke break. Strong personality Gopniks feel unmistakably and try not to meddle in the reasons for such confidence, because you can suddenly dig up something that the “senior comrades” will do very painfully. But aggression should only be shown if you are truly confident in your physical superiority. In a fight, gopniks do not follow sports rules, and there is a risk of simply getting hit in the head with a brick from behind. In this case, you will be accused of assault. If you cannot translate the gopnik slang into normal language, then you can easily recognize the exact intonation. At the slightest threat of physical violence, it is worthwhile to outline the prospects for this direction of events directly and as calmly as possible. For example, clarify that you will certainly record the beatings and no later than an hour later the entire company will be interrogated by an investigator at the police station on duty. The “boys” categorically do not like to get involved with law enforcement agencies. In addition, this promise automatically removes the “tolerant” label from you - you are not going to tolerate and remain silent, so you should not be contacted. Ignore with long-term calculationWhat to do if you are not at all athletic and don’t exude moral self-confidence? A timid character in itself is not a flaw, it is just a psychological feature. However, non-conflict does not make you a victim, it’s just that in this case it is better to choose others defense mechanisms. What to do if unpleasant slang expressions are already flying in your direction, making you want to pull your head into your shoulders? You should not show fear and look sideways in the direction of the gopniks. Even if you want to run away as fast as you can, try to just quicken your pace and absentmindedly say “Sorry, I’m in a hurry.” This is quite neutral, but you don’t have to stop and see if your phrase made the right impression. You are in a hurry, so it is better to really evacuate from the potential dangerous place. Any public transport, large shopping center, any organization will do. The likelihood that you will be chased or watched around the corner until the end of time is negligible. If these are not gopniks, but lawless peopleUnfortunately, sometimes you have to meet not with gopniks who have at least some rules, but with ordinary bandits or hooligans, whose name is lawlessness. They do not follow any rules, they cannot be “talked out”, although at the same time they use the language of gopniks and may even try to disguise themselves as them. Most likely, the lawless people are actually former good “guys” who fell out with their surroundings precisely because they did not follow the rules and did not respect authorities. You can also fall out of your social circle as a result of an unsuccessful attempt to seize power in the group. In this case, it is not the lawless people who do not respect themselves. Surprisingly, there are known cases when it was Gopniks who protected civilians from punks. It is possible that this is a simple coincidence, but again, allowing lawlessness on your territory, allowing strangers to “pinch” your personal patience is shameful for the boys. The main way to determine that these are not boys, but lawbreakers, is open aggression without attempts to shift the blame to the victim. If it is possible to call for help or escape, it is better to do this immediately, without waiting for the fight to start. We have to take into account that not everyone is able to physically resist bandits. Even if you are a martial arts master, it is better to avoid a fight. This fits well with the philosophy of karate and any style of martial arts, and will also minimize material and physical losses on your part. Ways to avoid dangerIt cannot be said that those offered with gopniks and hooligans are universal and one hundred percent effective, but they can significantly reduce the degree of risk. You shouldn’t show off a fat wallet or an expensive phone, even if you want to impress a girl. When moving along the streets, especially in a relatively disadvantaged area, it is better to look around carefully rather than withdraw into yourself. Then there is a chance to notice a suspicious group in advance, change the route, cross to the other side of the road, or at least wait for fellow travelers. Attacks on lone passers-by are much more common than attacks on groups of several people. If a fight cannot be avoided and the aggressors clearly intend to inflict physical injuries of varying degrees on you, then try to protect your back so that no one can sneak up from behind. Street fighting experts advise attacking the leader; in most cases, the rest simply run away, but it is worth remembering that each case is individual. Correct flight or tactical retreat should be carried out in the direction of any crowded or at least illuminated object. It’s not bad if there is a bank branch nearby, even at night. Don’t be shy to loudly tell the hooligans that they are being filmed by a bank camera, in case they forgot about the habit of serious institutions to install video cameras. If, in the process of self-defense, you seriously injure someone or damage someone else’s property, for example, breaking the glass of an expensive foreign car, then there is a risk of remaining guilty. It’s a shame to realize that our legislation is imperfect, but this is why many experts recommend not waiting for the police to arrive, especially if you are sure that you remained unrecognized and no one remembers you. The chance of proving your innocence is, unfortunately, quite small. Many people laugh at the Gopniks, this wonderful and one of the most ancient diasporas on the planet. But we will tell you how to become a real and the coolest gopnik! From time immemorial, humanity has been tormented by one question. Because of him, terrible wars happened, cities were built and destroyed, entire nations disappeared and new countries appeared. The question sounded banal - “Who is cooler?” In the modern world, with its population of many thousands, the criteria for coolness have spread so much that the point of highest coolness has become its own for each stratum of the population. One of the most ancient diasporas that have survived to this day are the Gopniks. Not yet being such due to slow thought processes, they killed Caesar by putting him on a pen, pulled off a large-scale scam with the Trojan Horse, discovered America, shot off half the face of the Sphinx and marinated Lennon in the mausoleum. These actions show how powerful Gopniks were in ancient times. The current generation of gopniks was influenced by rays-from-space, which affected their already not very fast thought processes. Subsequently, they invented the so-called “caps” to protect against exposure to rays. But let us not deviate from the topic of rise in the ranks of these undoubtedly valiant and courageous people. 1. First, you need to be born into a family of a dysfunctional mechanic and conductor. It is advisable to be born in a one-room apartment on the ground floor of the so-called “Gopnitsky” areas, in order to absorb the aura surrounding you from a very young age, increasing your coolness. 2. Having reached the age of 14-18, you must definitely join a gang, taking away as cruelly as possible a string bag with empty bottles from a homeless person in front of non-authoritative, but knowledgeable life and concepts of gopniks with a low value of coolness, basking in the sun. Having sensed your potential, they will certainly accept you into their team. 4. Watch your appearance! The presence on you of types of clothing alien to the Gopniks can once and for all destroy your authority, and at the same time undermine your health. Wear “sweatpants”, “abibass”, “tsepulya”, “chotki” and certainly “nishtyak” (cap). AND REMEMBER: “HUGO BO” is cooler than any “HOGO BOSS”. By watching you and seeing you without her for more than 24 hours, gopniks can understand that you are not susceptible to rays-from-space and reject your friendship. The author recommends, in addition to the standard Gopnik outfit, using an old man purse and a mobile phone from 2008. It is also strongly recommended to shave to a state close to zero. 4. By following these simple rules, you will quickly gain decent authority among the gopniks, but do not forget to imitate them. Squatting is a great ritual that proves your openness to the world of gopniks. The weirder the place where you sit, the cooler it is. Don't forget to press your heels, otherwise it won't be too bad. Ideally, you should sleep on your haunches, travel on public transport, stand in line for beer, chew sunflower seeds, and so on. 6. To achieve the highest gopovsky toughness, you must also fight daringly, be able to eat “nishtyaks” and “seeds”, take away phones and food from civilians (the so-called suckers) and gather your own kind around you to carry out joint rituals. 7. When your appearance terrifies the “lakhs”, there will be at least 10-15 gopniks around you, you will be driving around on a tinted “Vasmer” and gnawing on females with buckets - Congratulations - you have become a cool gopnik!!! Memo for Gopnik on how to fight correctly: A fight is a logical and often inevitable continuation of a discussion. As a rule, a fight goes through several stages. The first stage usually involves squinting your eyes, putting your hands on your hips, and adopting intimidating postures (putting your hands on your hips, hunched over, looking at your opponent from under your brows, spitting on the floor from time to time). The second stage consists of trying to assess the combat readiness of their colleagues (will they run away?). The third stage is choosing the weakest opponent from among your opponents and rushing towards him. The fourth stage is direct argumentation. The fifth and final stage - (usually in response to a clear advantage of opponents) consists of an attempt to create panic and disengage by loudly shouting: “Boys, the cops are coming! Run away!" (As a rule, this is not true, since the police usually arrive only after they are sure that the fight is over) |
Read: |
---|
New
- Siberian Institute of International Relations and Regional Studies (simoir): address, faculties, practice and employment
- The best books on economics and finance for beginners and professionals “Undercover Economist”, Tim Harford
- Tax received from abroad
- Choosing a university and training format
- Graphic patterns as the basis of a trading system
- Is it difficult to get into police school (College of the Ministry of Internal Affairs)
- Mindfulness: meaning, stages, lifestyle and development of the mind What does awareness mean?
- Specialist in the field of commerce and trade International commerce who to work with
- Gap year: what is it and is it possible in Russia? What do they do in gap year?
- Specialty law enforcement who can work