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The concept of small and large conversation in communication. Yes, that’s right, there was a topic a little earlier and it touched on “small conversations”. I continued. Expertise zones in conversations

Small talk refers to everyday communication, the main form of which is short conversation. This is a means of organizing communication between a small number of nearby people who know each other well. Small talk is the leading means of communication among work colleagues, and also seems to be the main need for communication in the family. In small talk it manifests itself phatic speech behavior(associative way of communication), which is aimed at speaking out and finding understanding in order to maintain a conversation. As a rule, such behavior is expressed in the form of an exchange of remarks, the content of which is associatively related to each other. The order of partners in the process of exchanging remarks may not be sequential; for example, a conversation is expressed by a series of remarks from one of the partners and periodic nods (verbal approval) from the other. At the same time, the sequence of answers and the transition from one topic to another does not cause bewilderment among the interlocutors, since the contexts of the conversation are obvious to each participant.

In small talk, the individual (subjective) style of communication is clearly expressed, which is a typical and stable form of communicative response. The style of communication in small talk is particularly influenced by: professional activity, social status, gender differences, age category of people communicating, etc. The social environment (its typical slang) in which communication partners move has a big impact on the verbal features of small talk. Also, the degree and level of intimacy in interpersonal relationships. For example, the communication of two unemployed friends (fired from work) and the communication of two ministers who have friendly relations will be different in behavior and content of the conversation, despite the fact that their relationship may be quite close.

Small conversations include spontaneous (unplanned) conversations with strangers, for example: in transport, in line, in the theater, etc., where there is a short exchange of information. Such conversations are carried out once and, when carried out effectively, have meaningful and emotional completeness. Otherwise, they can affect the general mood, condition, etc., for example: “yelled at the seller in the store” and an unpleasant “aftertaste” remained for the whole day, etc.

The effectiveness of small talk depends on the connection of the expert zone conversation participants. Expert zone- this is the area of ​​interest of the interlocutor in which he feels himself an expert, which can be expressed both at a professional and at a personal level. Thus, effective small talk involves focusing on the interlocutor’s expert area, rather than your own.

Effective directions for small talk are presented in Table 4. Ineffective (erroneous) directions for small talk are presented in Table 5.

Table 4.

Effective Small Conversation Directions

Small conversation directions

Methods and techniques

Quoting a partner

I remember you said that these parts are a good place to relax...

I'll probably make this order! As you say: “caring for your neighbor is caring for yourself”...

I know from our previous conversation that you were planning to attend this event...

Positive statements

Positive statements about events in the life of a partner, statements about pleasant people not participating in the conversation, but valuable to the participants in the conversation

I have noticed many times that you talk with passion about this book you read...

Now the bus stop is located right next to your house, isn’t it?

I attend the seminars of the professor you mentioned. I really like his style of expressing thoughts...

Informing

Communicating information that is necessary and interesting for a partner about specific events and people

I know where you can buy tickets for this concert!

I noticed that in this building the buffet is located at the end of the corridor.

And, by the way, the secretary, Marina Aleksandrovna, has not left yet and you can have time to give her the materials of the articles for the conference...

Interesting story

Fascinating, interesting and unexpected storytelling, which often provides an incentive for emotional release

By the way, by the way, I remember one interesting incident about this...

It was said like in that joke...

Now I’ll tell you that just hold on to your stomachs...

Oh, listen, some of my unlucky notes...

Name. Communication technique "Small conversation"

Purpose.

A fairly effective way to win over your interlocutor, arouse his interest, and precede further discussion of serious problems.

Many communications experts recommend that discussion of serious problems (“big talk”) be preceded by a short conversation on neutral topics that can nevertheless interest the interlocutor. Problems that “small conversation” solves:

1. Get your interlocutor to talk (he may simply not be in the mood to talk to you at the moment).

2. Show that you have common interests (at least in the little things in life), that in some ways your ways of thinking coincide.

3. Raise the mood of the interlocutor, set him in a positive mood.

4. Show that you are open-minded, observant, and appreciative. different information.

How does a “small conversation” happen?

Let's say you're on your way to a meeting with a business partner. You are waiting for an important decision from him, but this decision may not take place. Entering the office, saying hello and settling into a chair, immediately start your little entertaining informational message. Examples:

- “Imagine, I was driving here just now and saw bullfinches sitting on a tree. There were about ten of them. They were so beautiful, red as apples...”

- “Today I read in the news: they decided to reduce the value added tax...”

- “I thought: the last time I was in your office was exactly a hundred days ago. I remember there was a vase with beautiful flowers on your table...”

Topics of this kind of “small conversations” should not be “pulled out of thin air”, but should be discussed in a substantive and interesting manner. You should not tell fresh jokes, because most likely your interlocutor will only grin in response and not pick up the thread of the conversation. It is also advisable to avoid conversations about politics and painful social problems. If your communication partner is very busy or you don’t know him well, then it’s most likely better to immediately move on to the “big conversation.”

1. Communication technique “Small conversation” [Electronic resource] // A. Ya.. 12/20/2012..html (12/20/2012).

What does sales success depend on? Of course, depending on the client’s emotions, if you managed to make the client positive, then he can easily agree to anything. The problem for sellers is that the client often perceives the seller negatively. This is a kind of barrier that the seller must overcome. One of the most effective methods is small talk.

What is small talk

Small talk (from English small talk, pronounced “small talk”) is a short dialogue with a person or group of people on some pleasant and interesting topic that is not related to the topic and issues of the big conversation. Small talk is necessary for quick, and...

Topic for small talk

The hardest thing about small talk is choosing a topic. You can talk about banalities like the weather and traffic jams, but you need to do it in the right place. Besides, constantly talking about the same thing is simply stupid. Ideally, you should choose a topic that interests your interlocutor. How to find such a topic? To do this, you need to know what your interlocutor’s area of ​​expertise is.

Expert zone of the interlocutor

The expert zone is the area of ​​life in which a person is most interested (is a professional, thinks he is a professional, or wants to become a professional). The expert zone can be work or personal. Everything is clear with the worker, we don’t touch her in small conversations, it’s correct to talk about a personal expert zone. When we start talking about what is in the expert zone, the interlocutor begins to show respect for you, interest, we can say that he begins to like you. And vice versa, if you don’t guess the topic of conversation, you may be considered a bore and a sycophant.

It is not so difficult to understand what a person is an expert in. The easiest way is to go to his page on social networks and make inquiries from friends. If this is not possible, then learn to observe people. Pay attention to clothes, habits, accessories. And the most important thing . By paying attention to the little things, you can get a lot of topics for conversation.

Belonging to something

Learn to figure out whether your interlocutor belongs to any group. People are divided into different groups based on interests and often they do not hide it. Look at what gadget your interlocutor has in his hands, what he is wearing, what car he arrived in. If your interlocutor has the latest iPhone in his hands, then you can come up with quite a lot of topics for conversation.

In general, to determine belonging, it is important to be an erudite person. At the same time, as part of your work, you usually communicate with approximately the same layer of society. And you can explore interests quite quickly. The main thing is to understand the importance of this process.

Stereotypes

Sometimes stereotypes help; the interests of people of the same social class, gender and age are very similar. So many men over 40 are interested in fishing or hunting. Anyone who is interested in hunting is usually also interested in fishing. There are many examples that can be given. It is important to consider that when using a stereotype blindly there is a risk of missing the mark. Therefore, this is the most extreme tool for choosing a small conversation topic.

Humor

Humor is one of the best options for small talk. The ability to joke on topic helps a lot in life. As a rule, this skill needs to be developed through long training. Practice on friends and family, learn jokes and anecdotes, especially those that your audience will understand.

Humor is a very subtle tool and often it hurts people's feelings. Not everyone will appreciate a fresh joke about Jews or vulgarity about Vovochka. There are things that are better not to joke about, for example, about politics and religion.

Compliment

Earlier we already talked about the important ones and how to do them correctly. A compliment can be used to build a great small talk. There is always something to praise in any person, the main thing is to do it correctly. Do not praise people out of nowhere, it will be perceived as flattery and will not benefit you.


Common enemy

A very interesting and effective tactic is to find a common enemy, which obviously interferes with everyone. By finding this enemy and recognizing him, you will be on the same side and it will be much easier for you to come to an agreement. The enemy can be the same traffic jams, weather, road repairs or lack of parking spaces. There are plenty of enemies in our world; they need to be used correctly. This tactic is good not only for small talk, it can be used in management for the purposes of...


Insight or interesting story

Whether it’s a secret leak of interesting information or just an interesting story, this is an excellent small talk. This is a fairly simple way to earn respect. By the way, I often see it in online communities when a new forum member gives away something valuable for free. In return, he receives respect and reputation. If you have something to share, then don’t hide it.

By the way, do you remember...

If you are going to a meeting with someone you already know, with whom you previously had a small conversation. You can bring up the previous topic again. Remind your partner of what was interesting to him, play out the episode again. My favorite small talk is sports. If you can find out that a client supports a certain club, there will always be a topic for conversation.

Small talk in sales

Separately, I would like to talk about the art of small talk in sales, especially since this is where our article began. Most salespeople don't use small talk to establish rapport. Most companies don't train employees to do this. By learning to use this tool, you will get a good competitive edge.

Overall, the small talk tactics described above are great for salespeople. The seller needs to approach the client with pre-prepared options for a small conversation. Therefore, I repeat once again - prepare very carefully for the dialogue with the client.

Where else is small talk useful?

Mastering the skill of small talk is very important for entrepreneurs. These people have a need to maintain good relationships with a large number of people in conditions where there is not enough time for everything. There is simply no time to talk to all colleagues, partners and employees for a long time. In this case, small talk is used not only to establish positive contact, but also to quickly solve business problems.

People often ask the question: “Where to start a conversation?” Many people think that everything will be fine if they talk about interesting things. However, the conversation begins with fairly ordinary and everyday questions - with what is called “exchanging a few phrases.”
Most people know that such messages are an invitation to conversation and provide an opportunity to find out whether the other person is in the mood for a conversation with you. In this way, you create comfortable conditions for your interlocutor, who may be embarrassed by your “intrusion.”
Small talk- this is a conversation on a topic that is interesting and pleasant for the interlocutors, most often not related to the topic of the “big” conversation.
Small talk is chatter about trifles, but not trivial chatter.
Small talk is a relaxed and pleasant conversation about family matters, hobbies, and funny events.
The purpose of a small conversation is to create a favorable psychological environment, lay the foundations of mutual sympathy and trust.
A small conversation should take place in the personal expert zone of the interlocutor, touching on pleasant or interesting aspects of life for him.

These zones may have different areas of intersection.
Theoretically, one can imagine a person whose two zones completely coincide: he is interested in doing the same thing both at work and outside of work, thinking about the same thing and talking about the same thing.


For most people,

However, there is a personal

Life, home, hobbies...


The one who starts a small conversation shows generosity towards his partner.


Small conversation techniques are:
1.quoting partner
2.positive statements
3.informing
4.interesting story

Positive statements
Positive statements about events in the partner’s life, about favorable events in general, about changes for the better, about the partner’s achievements, about people not participating in the conversation, but known to both interlocutors.

Informing
Communicating information that is important, interesting and pleasant for the interlocutor.

Interesting story
An engaging, gripping narrative that is unexpected, enjoyable, or piquant.

Leisure reading

One teacher from our department was supposed to give a lecture on the psychology of perception at the Academy of Arts. According to the schedule, he learned that his lecture was supposed to be in room 315. He went to the third floor, found room 311, then 313, and the next door turned out to be without a number. Well, just in case, he goes there, sees the students and asks them: “Is this the third year?” They answer: “No.” He moved on. He looks at another door, also without a number. He opens it, sees the students and asks: “Is this the third year?” And for some reason the students began to laugh and also said “No.” He went further, opened the third door, which also had no number, and asked: “Is this the third year?” In response there was thunderous laughter! Hundreds of students literally squealed with delight. The fact is that all three doors led to the same classroom, 313, and he addressed the same students three times, but from different doors.

One of the most valuable and necessary qualities of an intelligent
A person has always been considered the ability to conduct a conversation.
Conversations are divided into “large” and “small” based on content.
The “big” conversation is a serious conversation about business issues. But him
It is impossible to start right away, “from the threshold.” You should approach him emotionally
prepare. And “small” conversation helps us with this, which creates
favorable emotional atmosphere, helps to evoke sympathy and
partner's trust. 2

Small conversation can be conducted in several ways.
1. Quoting a partner, that is, links to what he said about himself
before: about hobbies, family, vacations, etc.
For example:
You said that you were recently in Venice...;
I know you have a great understanding of music. Can you tell me...
2. Mentions of pleasant things (positive statements) are
positive statements about pleasant events in the life of a partner and in
life in general, about the achievements of a partner and other people not participating in
conversation, but pleasant to both interlocutors, etc.
For example:
You have an amazing collection of coins. What's the name of this one?
How did you manage to become so fluent in Japanese?
Mr. N purchased a wonderful yacht...
3. Informing – sending an interesting and pleasant message to your partner
information.
For example:
I found out that they were coming to our city to make a film...;
Your products are in demand in our city.
4. Interesting story – exciting, funny, original, enjoyable
narration (funny life story, tale, etc.)
The criteria for a correctly conducted “small” conversation are its
fascination, the ability to evoke positive emotions, pleasant
memories, encourage further communication, and also provide the basis
for the next small talk.
Typical shortcomings include the following: “interrogation”
(excessive detail), imposing a conversation about the partner’s personal life,
addressing serious topics, negative messages, ignoring
partner's mood.
Thus, “small” conversation is chatter about trifles, but not
trifling chatter 1, since it serves the function of adjusting to the partner.
So,

1 Sidorenko E.V. Training of communicative competence in business interaction. – St. Petersburg: Rech, 2002.
- With. 105-110.
There are rules for small talk:
1) it concerns only topics that are pleasant to the interlocutor (about hobbies, funny
events, good news, etc.);
2) it does not contain serious information requiring analysis;
3) it does not evoke strong emotions. 3

An important addition to small talk techniques is
mastering communication management techniques using
statements.
Such techniques include the following.
1. "Transition".
2. "Truit".
3. "Nominalization".
4. "Reformation".
5. “Right without the right to choose.”
1. “Transition” is a system of speech means, which is a way
transferring a person into a state of light trance. Words that matter
conditions (“if”, “when”, “if..., then...”, “and at the same time...”, etc.), give
communication flexibility and facilitate the assimilation of information.
The mild hypnotic state is explained by the fact that when verbally
there are no pauses between sentences in the text, the consciousness does not have time to control
all information and reduces its critical assessment.
2. A “truism” is a statement that is a platitude, everyone
famous statement such as “All mothers love their children”, “No one
We don’t like it when he’s deceived.”
Truisms are used to move from a specific phenomenon to
generalization. Since one cannot disagree with a truism, it makes it easier
argumentation.
Professor A.P. Panfilova gives an interesting example: a manager, not
who prepared the report applied truisms as follows:
“Life changes every second (truism). The report that I
prepared for today, tomorrow will be hopelessly outdated, and therefore, I
It seems there is no point in spending time on it, which, as you know, is money.
Therefore, I would like to hear from you some thoughts about
profits, if, of course, they turn out to be concrete. After which we
We will meet in three days, during which time I will have time to make relevant amendments to
your report."
Truisms are widely used in advertising.
3. “Nominalization” is a generalized phrase that does not carry
specific meaning. To do this, verbs are replaced by nouns or
adverbs. For example: “you will understand” - “you will come to understand”, “you
decide” - “you will make a decision” or “it is clear that...”, “as is known...” and
etc.
Small talk techniques:
- quoting a partner;
- mention of pleasant things;
- informing;
- interesting story. 4
Nominalization helps to influence the partner’s subconscious,
forcing him to fill the phrase you say with his own meaning, without requiring
additional arguments and explanations.
4. “Reframing” is to, during the conversation,
quickly rearrange the emphasis, changing the assessment of the partner’s condition to directly
the opposite.
Replacing the word “slow” with the word “leisurely”, “small” with
“small”, “dull” - to “discreet”, “old” - to “elegant”
age” turns a negative assessment into a positive one. For example, title
large size clothing store "Big People" sounds more pleasant,
than "Three Fat Men".
5. “Right without the right to choose,” like the technique described above, creates
the illusion of choice, practically excluding its possibility. For example: “You,
Of course, you can think about our proposal, but I'm sure that
An art connoisseur like you will not be able to resist this purchase.” Or:
“You can involve other specialists in this project or
develop it ourselves, but we are sure that no one will do it better,
than you."
In addition to the listed methods of influencing a partner, it is widely
questions also apply. Questions are asked with the aim of:
1) emphasize the importance of the partner;
2) involve your partner in conversation;
3) identify the needs and desires of the partner;
4) find out possible objections;
5) control the communication process.
The following types of questions exist:
1. Closed.
2. Open.
3. Alternative (“choice without choice”).
4. Offensive (“counterattack”).
5. “Shortcut” questions (or “tail” questions).
6. Questions - engagement (or dreams out loud).
7. Testing (for readiness for agreements).

Let's look at the following types of questions.
1. Closed: often begin with a pronoun or verb and suggest
the answer is “yes” or “no”. Purpose: to obtain consent or confirmation.
2. Open: they require a detailed answer, since such a question
it is impossible to answer “yes” or “no”. Often begin with the words: what, where,
when, how much. Goal: get your partner to talk, get information.
3. Alternative questions (or choice without choice): manipulative
a technique that is used to maintain the illusion
freedom of choice to exclude an undesirable option. Goal: get
partner's consent. This is a question with two answers, both
push the interlocutor in the right direction when the decision is not yet made 5
accepted: “Is it more convenient for you to call in the morning or in the afternoon?”
Or: “Would you like to place an order by bank transfer or
cash?".
4. Offensive issues (“counterattack”):
Goal: to stimulate the partner to perform a specific action.
Client: “Will you have time to transfer the money by the end of the month?”
Seller: “If we guarantee this to you, are you ready to sign
agreement now?
5. “Shortcut questions” (“tailed” questions) are questions with
guaranteed “Yes”: “When selling services, trust is very important, not so
is it?" They force the partner to reduce critical thinking and
make it difficult to object.
Goal: to obtain confirmation or consent of the partner for obvious
benefits and ensure his involvement in the conversation: “Isn’t it?”
“Really?”, “Correct?”, “Do you agree?”, “True?”, “Don’t you think so?”
Such questions are also at the heart of the Three Yes method, based on
the fact that the consumer is asked two shortcut questions in a row, without pauses, on
which the client can only answer in the affirmative. Immediately following them
(also without pauses) the third question, already on the essence of the problem under discussion.
The probability of receiving a “Yes” answer to this question is close to 100%.
6. Questions of engagement (or dreaming out loud) are any positive questions
about the subject of conversation that the partner would ask himself after the meeting.
Goal: quietly push your partner to the positive properties of the object,
for example: “It would probably be interesting to attend this performance?”
7. Test questions (for readiness for agreements).
For example: “How did you like it?”, “What do you think about it?”
As a rule, skilled communicators master these techniques, even without
being aware of them.

Communication contact management is also provided with
using active listening. Active listening is different from
traditional in that it allows you to get maximum information from
partner and ensures the most effective communication.
Let's list the basic techniques of active listening.
Basic techniques for active listening:
1) “Echo” (or quotation);
2) “Clarification”;
3) “Summary” (interpretation);
4) “Logical consequence.”

“Echo” technique (quotation) - verbatim repetition of the main
provisions or key words said by the partner.
Example. Customer (in a toy store): “Do you have anything suitable?
for boy?" Seller: “For a boy?” Client: “Yes, my son is 6 years old.”
Seller (thinks): “Six years...” Client: “He dreams of having 6
railway." Seller: “Railroad! Well, of course, exactly
now we have a magnificent railway just for your
boy!
The “Echo” technique forces a person to formulate his thoughts more clearly, while
This makes it easier for the partner to find out the essence of the problem, and creates a feeling
special attention from the interlocutor.
“Clarification” technique - asking again to clarify the content:
“Could you tell me more about this?” To clarify
The partner’s statements may be preceded by introductory words like:
“As far as I understand you...”, “Do you think that...”.
“Summary” technique (interpretation) - reproducing the essence of statements
client in a condensed and generalized form. In this case, you can use such
introductory phrases such as: “So, you are interested in...”, “The most important
The selection criteria are...”
Technique “Logical consequence” - formulation of a logical consequence
from the interlocutor’s statements, preferably using his
terminology. For example: “Based on what you said, you
interested...."
It is also important to note that three things should be avoided during the hearing.
main pitfalls: bias, selectivity and abstraction.
Listening with an open mind means being confident in what someone wants to say.
Human. In this case, the attitude towards what was said is determined in advance.
Selective listening: trying to hear only what people want to hear
hear. We hear clients through certain filters.
Distracted listening – inattentive listening while thinking about something else.
Let's look at the communicator's mistakes during active listening.

Thoughts of the communicator Reasons giving rise to these thoughts
I already understood everything. Why talk about anything else?
ask again?
Often the understanding of the essence is ahead of
the process of paraphrasing. But most often
this understanding turns out to be illusory.
If I ask again, client
will think that I don’t understand anything.
The reason for these concerns is
incorrect installation, which is constantly
the person asking questions looks
stupid. But really it depends
what and how to ask.
Now he'll think I'm boring.
I hang on to every word.
These doubts are related to existing
idea that for business
interaction, it is important to maintain your
positive image of a person
grasping everything at a glance, and not
really find out in the interests of the common cause,
what is the actual position
partner.
He talks such nonsense, and I still owe everything
repeat this!
Often strong emotions and categorical
evaluations come before understanding.
Naturally, our reactions do not force
wait for yourself... Paraphrase forces us to hold back.
Some strange conversation ensues.
Not a conversation, but a verbal constructor. Without
with these techniques everything would go so smoothly
naturally…
Lack of skill, orientation habit
on the client, adherence to the usual
stereotypes of interaction with the client.
At first this requires a strong
tension of attention.

Thus, managing a communicative contact involves
application:
1) techniques based on the reflex mechanism;
2) statements;
3) questions;
4) active listening.

You look at the article (abstract): “ Conversation Techniques"from discipline" Corporate image: molding technologies for maximum business growth»

 


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