When a person is happy, thoughts about the meaning of life do not occur to him. Such questions arise if joy and pleasure leave life, strength disappears and life becomes dull and empty. Where can I find the strength and desire to live? and regain lost joy?

Where to find the meaning of life: why did we come into this life?

System-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan has long been proven that people evaluate and comprehend their life priorities and achievements. Eight vectors—eight groups of mental properties and values. These are eight types of desires, by realizing which a person is filled with joy and feels pleasure from life.

For some, the priority is family values, traditional way of life. And if you ask such a person where to find the meaning of life, he will answer - “only in the family.” The meaning is wife, children, parents, friends. He lives to raise children, teach them, pass on experience and knowledge.

He takes care of his parents, providing them with a dignified and peaceful old age. He is always ready to help his friends. And if this can be realized, then he is happy that he lived a life filled with meaning.

If you ask someone else how to find meaning in life, you will hear advice about the importance of material wealth, career growth and status in society. He will advise you to find a higher paying job, buy a cool car, or make a career and become a big boss. He knows how to find the meaning of life: “to achieve success, surpass everyone and achieve material superiority.”

And the third person will very emotionally and openly tell you that the answer to the question of how to find meaning in life was found a long time ago. This is Love. And the meaning of life is love. He will tell a lot of stories from his own and other people’s lives, give advice from psychologists and astrologers, proving that more important than love there is nothing. What is most important is to love and be loved. That feelings and emotions are life.

I want to find the meaning of life: how to fill infinity?

A burning desire to comprehend life leads them along the path of searching for special knowledge. Philosophy, religion, science... Everything where they can at least a little fill desire and gain meaning. But if this does not happen and the emptiness remains, a sharp denial of the physical world occurs, which is expressed by the phrase “Life has no meaning.”

In this state, a sound artist can fall into the darkest depression, drugs, suicide. He does not understand with his consciousness what is happening, his soul simply hurts terribly, which is not at all interested in material aspects. What are you interested in?

In fact, it is the sound artist, no matter what state he is in, who wants to find the meaning of life. Only this meaning lies on a different plane. This is the knowledge of the psychic unconscious of all humanity and the revelation of the hidden eight-dimensional unity of the species. Awareness of himself not as an isolated unit, but as part of an infinitely huge single soul shows him “the light at the end of the tunnel.”

Then an understanding of the true meaning of the biblical commandment “Love your neighbor as yourself” arises. This happens when the desires and aspirations of each person are felt as their own, and the sound person forever fills their voids and finds the true meaning of life.

Sounds confusing?

“...I get the impression that I have matured a lot over the past year. I no longer expect or demand anything from anyone. You just compare everything sensibly. But what you do or don’t do something is another matter. At least I know for sure that I need to do something and preferably what I need. Chewing rolls on the stove is an expectation of death, death in reserve, as it were. I can't call it anything else. If you do, it means you live. If you don't do it, you die. It is obvious. People get sick from their own inaction or from wrong action...
... A year in system-vector psychology is a completely new year in my old life. The beginning of a new life..."
Alexander G., IT specialist, Korosten, Ukraine

“... Yuri Burlan’s SVP training helps you see, understand, and learn how to do it! Do you remember what the shard from the evil mirror did to Kai? So, SVP helps to cleanse our eyes - and you begin to see. See people! Understand them! And interest appears! Meaning of life! Energy! Wish! Everything that makes up happiness!

It’s even scary to imagine that you could live, have wings, but not fly! And now I’m already looking at the sky! She has already spread her wings!..”
Inna U., teacher Prague, Czech Republic

To better understand why this happens, start with free online training System-vector psychology Yuri Burlan. Register - via the link.

The article was written using materials from Yuri Burlan’s online training “System-vector psychology”

When the world turns gray and indifference overshadows all feelings, the surest way out is to find something you like

Why does the desire to dream and create suddenly disappear?

Joy inspires and gives a feeling of fulfillment in life. But suddenly something breaks and she leaves. Do you know the feeling of hopelessness and apathy? To cope with it, you need to understand its true cause.

Fatigue – the simplest and most common reason that the world stops being enjoyable. Feelings become dull, everything seems gray and monotonous. And the only recipe in this case is to have a good rest.

Sometimes we think that we live a very boring life. “The lives of artists (showmen, politicians, journalists...) are interesting and rich, not like mine,” we think. The paradox is that writers, artists, performers, and pop stars are all equally tired of what they do every day. No matter who you are, from time to time you need to break out of everyday reality and change the picture. Take a vacation and go further away - to another city, another country. Free yourself from your usual routine. Breathe the air of freedom. Learn new things. Often this step can restore strength and bring back the joy of each day.

But it happens that the blues become chronic. Complete disappointment, reluctance to do anything, awareness of the meaninglessness of life - these are the symptoms of this condition. “We lose joy in one case: when we cannot use life to satisfy our needs,” says psychoanalytic therapist Eduard Livinsky. – A person perceives the world through the prism of what he can influence. And if he satisfies other people’s desires and sacrifices his own, then he feels frustration. But this is exactly how we are raised! You go to work where no one is going to think about your personal needs. You live in a society that is focused on the accumulation of capital, and if you have different values, you have to break yourself. Joy is always the joy of doing one’s own work, being active for oneself among like-minded people.”

6 ways to shake yourself up and want to live

If everyday life has become boring, you need to look for a way to diversify it. Just don’t sit idly by: apathy doesn’t go away on its own!

Go on a trip. A change of environment and new experiences expand the boundaries of perception. All sensations become several times sharper. And there is time to think about what, in fact, is important to you.

Get a pet. Caring for a small defenseless creature - even a turtle - gives each of us the necessary feeling of being needed. The animal is entirely dependent on the owner: you will begin to receive joy when you feed it, stroke it, communicate with it.

Go to church for a service. Even if you are not a religious person, try to attend the service, listen to the prayers and understand yourself better. People often find peace and harmony after attending church. It's not even a matter of ritual, but of returning to oneself.

Invent a new hobby. Ask yourself: what is important to you, what have you always wanted to do and what have you denied yourself? And take this step: sign up for dancing or theater studio, start learning professional photography. There is nowhere to put it off any further.

Mini home renovation idea. At least rearrange the furniture and redo the wallpaper. Firstly, you will undoubtedly be distracted, and secondly, by transforming and updating your home, you yourself will want to be internally renewed.

Help those who have a harder time. When we do good, we always feel joy. We are transformed, becoming cleaner and brighter. A visit to a sick friend, helping my mother, several kind words neighbor... And maybe volunteer work.

Pamper your body and your soul will thaw

Bodily pleasures can be an excellent therapy for apathy. To do this, turn everyday procedures into a pleasant ritual. The simplest things that we often do in a hurry can give moments of genuine joy. For example, peeling: there is so much pampering and sensuality in treating the body with a fragrant scrub! The same can be said about Ayurveda’s favorite ritual of oiling, for which any slightly warmed oil is suitable (you can take olive oil and add a few drops of essential oil to your taste). It makes sense to take a course of oil massage or several sessions of stone therapy - massage with heated stones. During such procedures, we focus on our sensations and learn to enjoy touch and tactile contact. The body relaxes, unnecessary thoughts go away along with tension. We take care of ourselves - and this gives us confidence!

With a taste of sadness

There are times when sadness just rolls in. Psychologists advise not to hide from it under fake fun, but to fully experience the emotions.

• LISTEN TO YOURSELF. If at this moment you feel sadness and melancholy, surrender fully to these difficult feelings. You have a right to them.
• FIND A SUITABLE ACTIVITY. Perhaps it's time to watch a sentimental movie or look through your diary from ten years ago. Or just cry into your pillow. By the way, tears have a cleansing effect.
• THINK THAT THIS WILL PASS. No matter how bad it gets, you should always look for a thread to cling to. This thread is our hope for tomorrow, that everything will change for the better and we will be in great shape. Think about good things even in the most difficult periods - and they will certainly happen to you!

Take a brush in your hands

Express your feelings through creativity and understand the essence of the problem that worries you, provides an opportunity for art therapy (“healing through art”) – popular in last years method of psychotherapy. Blues, apathy, lack of interest in life are direct indications of it. The simplest technique is to try to express your emotions in a drawing.

Depict, for example, your melancholy, and then your joy - and compare these two pictures, mentally transferring yourself to a field of joy. If you're overwhelmed negative emotions, you can even create a sculpture from paper, old newspapers, pieces of wallpaper, and then paint it in sunny colors - try to transform the negative into the positive. What is good about art therapy? Firstly, you express your emotions, which means they do not accumulate inside you. Secondly, you pull the problem out and distance yourself from it. And thirdly, the creative process itself is healing and will completely capture you! In addition to isotherapy, there are many other techniques: music, dance, fairy tale, photo, game, drama and even sand therapy.

sitting at home

After a serious operation, I lost faith in myself and in life.

One day my mother brought a set for creating figures from beads. Without inspiration, I started making a heron. But the process captivated me completely. Soon I ordered books on beading online and now I am creating wonderful things. There is no time to be sad. Stranger Yoli

Where to look for life energy

To bring color back to the world, you need to start doing something. Not for anyone, but for yourself. Find the area where your efforts will not be fruitful. Seeing the result of your work, you will want to live again!

The work that does not bring joy and serves only to earn money, relationships in which the intensity of feelings has long been dulled, constant busyness and haste, many small everyday matters... How to break this vicious circle? You need to find an area where you can fully realize your abilities, and your perception of life will change.

the main task any of us - to allow our “I” to do something valuable for ourselves. Therefore, any activity that brings you pleasure can relieve you of the blues! The most difficult thing remains: finding something for the soul. The trouble is that we often deactivate our own “I” so much that it loses the ability to create desires. In this case, psychologists recommend remembering what brought you joy in childhood. Sewing outfits for dolls, creating collages, sculpting, drawing - it was a must exciting activity. And then cast aside doubts and false shame (they say, I’m no longer a child) and indulge in what I love! Even if you don't feel inspired at first.

Very important don't isolate yourself. Find people with similar problems so you have someone to talk to. Look for those who share your hobbies, fortunately now this is easy to do using the Internet. But communication should not be limited virtual world: It’s a must to go into reality!

Each of us needs so that his activities are appreciated and accepted by others. Therefore, find an opportunity to participate in those collective events where your activity will be welcomed! “A single person can go on a group tour of the city: a friendly atmosphere, an exchange of opinions - and now you are no longer alone! For a young mother who feels like life is passing her by, it is enough to organize a party at home, invite friends with children - and she will perk up, advises Eduard Livinsky. “A life without meaning is a sure path to depression.”

Set goals for yourself and achieve them, and this activity will bring you out of your emotional stupor. Write down five goals focused on your own needs - what you will do for your soul and Have a good mood.

IMPORTANT!

Any communication with children will bring you pleasure and sincere joy if you put aside all matters and devote some time completely to the child. Teach him something, open him up new meaning his favorite activities. Nothing pleases us more than the success of our children.

Give children joy

The most common cause of apathy and depression is infantility. A person expects life to give him all the joys, not wanting to act on his own. Meanwhile, life requires effort, otherwise it turns into a swamp. Look for new meanings of existence for yourself. One of them may be caring for children who do not have parents. If you're lonely and not too happy right now, give some warmth to those who really need it! Going to the nearest orphanage on the weekend and reading a fairy tale to the kids, talking to older children - this will not require any special expenses. But the impact can be very strong. You will feel that someone needs you, that someone is happy to see you, someone is waiting for you. Which means there is meaning to live!

The Art of Gratitude

Any person feels happy when his efforts are accepted, whether at work or in the family.

Imagine what you have prepared Tasty dinner, having fussed around the stove all day, and his relatives ate it with blank expressions and didn’t even thank him - where is there any joy in that? Therefore, at home - in our microcosm, where we ourselves establish the order - we need to cultivate a culture of gratitude.

Teach your children, husband and learn to appreciate what they have done for you. Saying “thank you!”, feeling this warm feeling inside yourself. And thank life for what it gives you.

Experience difficulties. And overcome with honor!

Everything is good, but everything is boring - the blues of satiety, there is no other way to put it. She's being treated!

Live in extreme conditions. For example, go camping with tents. The world will turn upside down. You will begin to notice things that you did not pay attention to before. And many problems will turn out to be unimportant.

Start running. Minimum 3 km per day. It’s not easy to tear yourself away from the TV – the favorite pastime of all those who are moping. But what joy you will feel every time you finish your run! Including the fact that endorphins are released into the blood during running.

My niece brought me out of my apathy

Just two years ago, Poltava resident Diana (26 years old) was seriously depressed. She, pregnant, was left by her loved one. She lost her child from frustration. And these were not all the trials that befell her!

At first everything worked out wonderfully. Having learned that I was expecting a child, Denis proposed to me. We had already invited guests to the wedding, when suddenly at night we quarreled over a trifle. And Denis... disappeared. And I soon ended up in the hospital. The baby was not saved.

I hated men. She lived in chronic apathy. Nothing made me happy. I went to work only because I had to live on something. One day I was walking home tired and thinking: “I want to go to the hospital with a sore throat.” Our negative attitudes are coming true: I slipped unluckily and ended up in intensive care. I was paralyzed, the doctors said that now I would lie down. But a miracle happened: I got back on my feet. I left the hospital knowing that I couldn’t get pregnant for three years.

My sister just had a daughter. And she invited me to her place in Kyiv.

She offered to change her life and stay with her, help with Karina. At first I refused, but six months later I quit my job and moved in with my sister. At first I was afraid to touch the baby. But soon I could easily change her diapers and could stay with her for the whole day. Communication with this sun charged me with energy. We walked with her for a long time, played, I read books to her. Somehow I caught myself thinking that I want the same miracle! Karina taught me to smile again. The depression has passed. Now I am looking for a job in the capital and hope to arrange my personal life.

By caring, we find harmony

Caring for plants and animals is a guaranteed way to fall back in love with the world. In Haruki Murakami's acclaimed book "Norwegian Wood" main character, Naoko, years after losing a loved one, ends up in a closed medical facility in the mountains. People who have lost their taste for life - people like her - are treated there not with medications, but with simple activities: growing vegetables, floriculture and poultry farming.

Working near the earth, coming into contact with its creations, watching how sprouts emerge, how fruits ripen, a person draws strength and is charged with vital energy, forgetting about his mental traumas. This “primitive” activity, despite all the achievements of scientific and technological progress, remains the most natural for us. But where should a city dweller look for a garden or a farm? A good solution is to grow flowers. This hobby does not require a lot of money, but allows you to fully experience the joy of communicating with nature. Flowers are beautiful, they awaken a sense of beauty in us. By caring for them, we free our heads from annoying thoughts, relax and take a break from the hustle and bustle.

Your sources of inspiration

We feel sad when we lack something. And we rejoice when we feel connected to the world and other people. And for this you need not to engage in soul-searching, but to strive to learn new things, to see the world in all its colors. And feel that you are alive!

Nature observation brings joy because it is alive. And depression is nothing more than a loss of life dynamics. Therefore, contemplation of nature is restorative. You watch how the trees bloom, the clouds float, the insects swarm, and you understand: life flows regardless of our small everyday adversities. Against this mesmerizing background, your problems seem insignificant. And nature also instills faith that you can do something as important and natural as a flower blooming or a bee carrying nectar.

Art inspires and demonstrates the diversity of life, showing that not everything around us is gray and monotonous. It also “allows” us to have our own emotions, pushing us to feel, experience, and catch fire. After all, in essence, art is emotions transfused into sounds, colors, and movements. Depression always begins with fear of one’s feelings.

Books and films with a positive storyline, dedicated to overcoming obstacles, instills faith in own strength. If the hero coped with difficulties, then you can do it too! Joy goes away because we cannot process the situation, we get stuck in it. And someone else’s example shows: there is a way out, we must look for it! And the only question is how to do it. If you can’t find a way out on your own, you should talk to a friend, a psychologist, or anyone who can help you look at the problem from the outside. And make sure: there is something to be happy about in life!

Beautiful landscapes evoke unconscious joy, so take advantage of every opportunity to be in nature. Alternate active rest with meditation or contemplation of awakening nature. Enjoy spring!

4 books that will put you in a positive mood

Osho. Hsin-Hsin-ming: A book about nothing

Our mind creates dreams. To wake up and experience true joy, you need to go beyond the mind. Osho tells how to “turn off” culturally imposed stereotypes, free yourself from the need for choice and begin to live an authentic life.

Anna Gavalda. Just together

A kind, wise and life-affirming novel about love and how to find joy in everyday life. All the characters, lonely at first, find their happiness at the end of the plot. And one of its important components is to help another in difficult times.

Sue Townsend. The Diaries of Adrian Mole

An incredibly funny book, never off the bestseller list, about the adventures of an English teenager who is prone to the blues and fancies himself an intellectual and a talented poet. Sparkling!

Victor Frankl. Man in search of meaning

An Austrian psychiatrist describes his personal experience of surviving in a concentration camp and shows that even if you find yourself in the most terrible conditions, you can find an incentive to continue living. A serious book that can change your worldview.

anonymous, Female, 26 years old

Hello. I am 26 years old. I have a husband and a 3-year-old daughter. I love my family, my relationship with my husband is good. I recently returned to work after maternity leave. Not by specialty. I don’t like work and only work because it’s hard for my husband to support the whole family alone. For the last 2 years I have been feeling constant melancholy and boredom, these feelings have intensified over the last six months. If earlier I lived with the thoughts that the best was ahead, all the most interesting things would still be, now I feel that life has passed, nothing interesting awaits me, it will only get worse. I’ve completely forgotten how to have fun, I can’t unwind and throw off the burden of everyday worries for at least half a day. There is no right time, no right company. There are no friends now, our paths diverged when I gave birth and we simply stopped communicating, we couldn’t make new friends. My husband is a homebody; he is content to spend time doing activities that do not go beyond everyday concerns. Very difficult to climb. I'm very sick of living right now. I have completely forgotten how to enjoy life, how to enjoy my child. I feel as if I have large bags in my hands that need to be carried with me all the time and cannot be placed on the floor. Some kind of heaviness. Tell me what's wrong with me? Is there a way out of this state? Maybe there is good books who can help? I want to live and enjoy life again.

Hello. It looks very much like you don’t have enough vital energy to be creative and enjoy the moment. This happens after a long time a person ignores his inner desires and needs and does not give vent to his emotions. In addition, you had childbirth and maternity leave, after which a woman’s life changes at the physiological level as well. There is a way out, of course. To do this, you need to start listening to yourself and allowing yourself what brings joy and pleasure. It would be nice to do something you love that inspires you. Even if it’s not a job, it’s at least a hobby that you would be interested in after work. It is important to pay attention to lifestyle, nutrition and physiological symptoms that take away energy. In general, you need to take care of yourself, develop, look for your purpose and meaning in life. It is undoubtedly better to do this accompanied by a specialist, but you can try it on your own. Look for books yourself! Read those that will resonate with you as soon as you start getting acquainted with the content. I can recommend literature only when I know the person better and understand what will be useful. Therefore, you need to rely on your intuition. It’s good to join some kind of self-development group where you can communicate with like-minded people. Or, to a school for developing self-love, for example. Find a community in which you will feel comfortable and act, because no one will change your life and your condition for you. I wish you success!

Consultation with a psychotherapist on the topic “The joy of life has disappeared” is given for informational purposes only. Based on the results of the consultation received, please consult a doctor, including to identify possible contraindications.

About the consultant

The world around us is gray, sad and boring to live. A green melancholy has set in, there is no escape from it, it eats away, torments, sucks out the vital juices... Loss of interest in life. Tired of life. I don't want anything. How to deal with this? What to do, if ?

If you have no interest in life

What to do if there is no interest in life and everything is dull and joyless? Why is life boring? Where did you disappear to ?

Reasons for losing interest in life:

1. Fatigue.

When a person does not know how and does not want to, turns his existence into a continuous race for results, forgets about spiritual things, negative energy accumulates, poisoning his life. It pulls you down like a chain and doesn’t allow you to “take off.”

2. Feeling like an unnecessary person.

This feeling calls into question the value of the individual, its usefulness, the very meaning of existence seems to be a mockery.

3. Obligation.

If man walking through life, guided only by the principles: I must, I am obliged, I am forced, he is like a barge hauler on the Volga. “Eternal debt” constantly hangs over him, like a huge cobblestone over his head, and makes him unhappy.

4. Aimlessness.

Life is like a tumbleweed: wherever the wind blows, I move there. Please do not confuse goals with desires. Desires are more mundane. It is normal to have desires - to love, dress beautifully, earn good money, have a family, live in abundance, etc. Their implementation ensures, as an individual, as a separate person. A person needs desires for himself, as a way to ensure his comfortable and pleasant existence.

4. Imagine that this is the last day of your life or the last minute.

A person who has a gun pointed at his head hardly thinks that life is not interesting. Awareness of our mortality helps us appreciate life more and be aware of every moment.

5. Stop and give yourself a rest.

Relax. Meditate. Get out into nature. Meet the dawn. Sit by the fire, contemplating the fire. Watch the flowing water. Listen to yourself, your soul. Remember the good moments of your life, feel them again. Reread yours.

6. Find or remember your purpose.

9. Go out and smile at everyone.

Make new friends. Remember forgotten friends, arrange a meeting with them. Be open to new contacts, offers and opportunities, see opportunities and say “yes!” to them.

10. How to deal with blocked feelings?

There are two options here.

First: look into yourself and figure out which ones you want to hide, which ones you are trying to escape, avoid, which ones you don’t want to realize. Accept, feel, experience and let go.

Children do it well. If a child is offended, he will cry heartily, and then with a free soul and a smile on his face he will play with his favorite toy. That's it, the emotion is played out.

It is better for an adult to find a place where no one will disturb him. Calm down. Focus on breathing and ask yourself: what feelings do I truly feel for my father, mother, myself, husband, wife, son, friend, own life. And enter into these sensations, completely immerse yourself in them, despite the fact that they are completely unpleasant. This way the energy of negative feelings will be released and there will no longer be a need to block them, the “border post” will be removed. Joy and interest in life will return unhindered along this path.

The second option is to see a psychotherapist.

11. Laugh more.

Start your morning with. Make a list and watch comedies and funny positive films every day. It works!

What to do if you have no interest in life ?

As you know, any correctly posed question already carries an answer. And if a person asks himself, he is already on the way to solving it. I think you understand, the answer is to do. Share in the comments, have you ever had such conditions and, if yes, how did you deal with them?

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What to do if there is no interest in life and everything is dull and joyless: 76 comments

How is there no interest, but where did it go?

admin Replied:
January 3rd, 2013 at 08:14 pm

That's what I'm talking about! But there are people who are bored and sad about life. This is a very unpleasant condition.

I don’t understand how you can lose when there is so much around interesting life it's so short, you have to enjoy every moment while you have the opportunity

Vika Answered:
February 15th, 2014 at 09:19 pm

Why so many interesting things? For example, I don’t see anything interesting at all, everything is so monotonous.

Rostislav Replied:
August 9th, 2014 at 00:27

I don’t find any meaning or interest in life, and I don’t see it!

Answered:
August 11th, 2014 at 09:41 pm

Rostislav, then just live and observe the world, don’t look for interest and meaning. Maybe this is not given to you, but maybe, in the end, you will feel the taste, color and music of life.

In each article the same thing seems to be taken from the same source. There is nothing new. And being happy about something that doesn’t make you happy is like taking a medicine that doesn’t help. Violence against feelings is not right. And silencing those who live worse is also not right. It’s as if these people are suffering because of me, I ruined their lives and made them like this. Or is this a guideline for what to strive for? That is for the worse. As for feelings, there is a ban on them, especially for men. And as a rule, they begin to drown and condemn those who are not satisfied with their lives. And if, God forbid, you don’t restrain yourself and throw it out, then they will begin to condemn you even more. When a person is not satisfied with the way he lives, he himself begins to feel that he is somehow different, and when those around him begin to hint to him from all sides or even say this point-blank, then you yourself understand what kind of person.

Answered:
October 2nd, 2013 at 21:27

Alexander, you correctly noted that everything on this site is really taken from one source - from my thoughts, experience, conclusions after reading books, articles, completing trainings and life events.
The call to help those who are worse off is not aimed at committing violence against feelings, shutting one’s mouth, or interrupting the flow of one’s own emotions. It is aimed at redirecting this flow in order to learn to selflessly give and share. If you have ever done this, helped those who are worse off, from the bottom of your heart, then you know that after this your soul is filled with joy, warmth and the desire to do many good deeds.
But I would ignore condemnations and hints if you are confident in what you are doing and how you are doing it. A person’s task is to be himself, to follow his own path.

Alena, a good psychotherapist will prescribe medicine for the acute period, if there is such a need. In the future, his task is to push the person himself to solve his problems. A good psychotherapist does not give people ready-made recipes, but only guides, helps awaken thoughts in the right direction and find a way out for the client himself, based on his experience, knowledge, desires and feelings.

How long is the acute period? Some here are sincerely surprised, “how did it disappear?” And like this. It has been missing from me for 5 years now. There is no meaning in life, and there are no special joys either. Suicide - I cowardly reject it, because... it's only a problem for others. The advice here is good. I tried some things, but some things didn’t work. Main - . And it is difficult to find and accept. I won't go to psychiatrists. I no longer have relatives and friends. “...and when those around him begin to hint to him from all sides or even say it point-blank, then you yourself understand what kind of person...” - Yes it is. Everyone tries to rub their nose in and recommend a “recipe”. This makes you fall even more, and the feeling of your own worthlessness and uselessness intensifies. And they are sincerely perplexed as to why it doesn’t work. Because “a well-fed horse cannot travel on foot”!

Answered:
December 28th, 2013 at 22:30

5 years is a long time. And really nothing in life changes? Have you tried to change yourself? Start reading other books, do things you have never done but would like to, communicate with other people, try to understand those whom you think you will never understand? Read about the Karpman triangle (). Maybe you are playing this game?

Change? What for? I don’t want to read other books, communicate with other people. Understand, the problem is motivation. I do not want anything. Because I don't see the point in this.
Earlier New Year For me it was a holiday greater than a birthday. Now all the holidays are just another number on the calendar. Passed - and okay.
I often convince myself that I have a lot of positive things. Look, someone has nothing even of this. Some have disabilities, homelessness, alcoholism. So I still have nothing even. But this doesn't last long.

Answered:
January 10th, 2014 at 08:42

If the problem is motivation, then you have no goal.
New Year is not a ritual. You can also meet him reading interesting book or above a drawing of a project that is important to you or behind the eyepiece of a microscope. The main thing is that you know why you need it.

THANKS A LOT! I am very glad that I found your site. The fact is that I am, one might say, a little disabled, my arms and legs are intact, but a year ago I had my thyroid gland completely removed... it was bad with it, and without it it was even worse... I can’t get a lot back, I can’t get pregnant, although I really dreamed about it. Doctors cannot choose the correct dose of hormones, and complications have developed in the kidneys and heart. All that was left of me was a shadow of what I was before. mental condition Also not normal, the doctor prescribed anti-depressants, so far I’ve been taking them and everything is fine…. I'm very angry with myself for wasting my life on others,

Answered:
February 2nd, 2014 at 17:15

Nyusha - forgive yourself and learn to live in a new way, look at the world with different eyes. If you are angry with yourself, it means you do not fully accept yourself. Perhaps you only want to see in yourself positive traits and close your eyes to the fact that a person is made of many advantages and is not alien to shortcomings. Love yourself for who you are now and then you will be able to cope with a difficult situation. I will be glad if the materials on the site are useful to you and help you with this. Write, ask questions - we will think and decide together.

Hi all!
In 2011, the most important person in my life, my Father, my ideal, whom I looked up to all my life. Starting from the moment of death, I started drinking, and drank for two long months, I just couldn’t stop, I had a fight with my sister, cousins, lost quite a few close friends. Then I decided to pull myself together, I thought that the problem was alcohol, and I took a risk and coded myself. One problem went away, I stopped drinking, started working, but became nervous, took everything with hostility, the days became so gray that at times I just lay there and didn’t want to do anything, and trying to find something for myself made it even worse depressive state. Just the other day I got drunk again. Now I hate myself, my life, I feel worthless in this life. And the problems and all the grayness seem to weigh even more. I understand that some actions, activities, hobbies will help me, but I don’t know where to start, everything is so boring.

Answered:
July 3rd, 2014 at 12:35 pm

Artem, I sympathize with you. A loss loved one- a loss that cannot be replaced by anything or anyone. It is difficult, difficult, sad to the point of tears. And, most importantly, it is impossible to do anything.
But you have memories in which your Father is alive and no one can take them away from you. You can contact them at any time. When something doesn't go well, think about what your Father would do or what advice he would give you.
You can hate yourself, but not for long, then it’s better to analyze yourself and figure out why you did this. It would be good to use paper and pen and write down: why you are dissatisfied with yourself, your life, why you feel worthless, what problems you have (it’s better to call them tasks). Problems usually weigh on us when we run them around in our heads. When we start asking questions: what can I do, how, what can I do right now and then act, life begins to change. If you have any questions, write here or personally via the contact form.

no, I want, I can’t, I have no strength, two years ago my 17-year-old son died, and there are also children 20 years old and 14 years old, but I’ve been lying in a coma for 2 years, I’m taking antecedents, I’m sleeping, I’m eating little, I’ve lost 15 kg, I can’t and won’t I don’t want anyone to see or hear...my husband is supportive, but he is also already in such a state as a zombie.....

Answered:
November 27th, 2014 at 21:42

Vera, you suffered a severe blow - the death of your son. It's as if a piece of your heart was cut out and the wound is still bleeding. They say it heals, but your grief will always remain with you. And you need to learn to live with this, especially since you have someone to live for: for yourself, for your children, for your husband. Two years is already a decent amount of time, if you can’t cope, contact a psychologist - your existence in such a state can hardly be called life. Need help from a specialist.

My brother a disabled person of the second group (a mentally ill person) lives with his parents. If anyone knows, living with such people is unbearable. I took everything that could be taken out of the house and sold. Mother and father are pensioners. They have literally turned into zombies already. I live separately personal life I don’t have it because I have to pull my parents. I practically live for them. I work in a factory surrounded by rude and evil people. I would really like to stop my life path because I no longer have the strength, when, coming home from work, Mom calls in another tantrum and tells me what my brother did again. Life is not happy, but on the contrary, every new day is like another test.

Answered:
December 3rd, 2014 at 08:43 pm

Olya, your situation is really difficult. Think about it, is there anything good in your life? My opinion: the advantage is that you live separately from your parents and brother. This means that you yourself can build your life as you see fit. Yes, it is difficult and difficult for you, but changes require action. Start with small steps. What will they be like? It's completely up to you. Ask yourself questions. What do you want from life? What are you interesting in? What can you do right now to improve your life?
You cannot change the lives of your loved ones. I think you understand this yourself. Change your life. Let it become interesting and joyful.

Hello, I'm 14 years old. I would like to consult and get advice on what to do... You know, after looking

Greetings, dear blog readers. Unfortunately, our life cannot always be described in words as a holiday - every day. Sometimes even the most cheerful of us experience sadness and melancholy. It’s great if you know how to negotiate with yourself and don’t let negative emotions manage yourself. What to do in other cases, when a feeling of depression takes over us? The topic of this article is how to regain the joy of life: advice from a psychologist. Find out what experts recommend in cases where we are unable to act and help ourselves on our own?

"Lie low..."

As a rule, we lose the ability to rejoice when difficult times come in our lives. Let's try to understand the reasons that can provoke a state of apathy. Conflicts in relationships with others can be dangerous factors that contribute to the development of depressive states, in which we lose the ability to rejoice. They can be associated with family or marital relationships, when we suffer from disappointment and pain after separation. It could be chronic fatigue or emotional burnout, if we devote a lot of time to unloved work. Below I will give the most popular tips, which are most often recommended by psychologists, in order to regain the taste of life.

Positive environment

The first and most universal recommendation is to surround yourself with things that are guaranteed to evoke pleasant emotions. A childhood photograph of you as a small, laughing child can help in your endeavors. Psychologists say that in this way it is easier for us to establish a dialogue with our “ inner child", thereby revealing your hidden needs. Those desires that we carefully disguise from others and sometimes from ourselves. It is possible that as a result of such an experiment you will again want to draw or resume activities that once fascinated you. Look at her every time you feel like you've lost interest in life. Learn to enjoy everyday things the way children do.

Add color

There is a whole direction in psychotherapy - color therapy. You may not take esoteric theories about vibrations and energies seriously, but you probably know that each color has its own wavelength, and this is an accurate and measurable physical indicator. In the same way, each individual color can have a powerful impact on a person’s well-being. If in ancient civilizations people intuitively used these properties to intimidate enemies, today we already have scientific research proving the influence of color on the mechanisms of internal self-regulation.

Having a stimulating effect on certain areas of the brain, for example the pituitary gland, color can even change the level of individual hormones. Make sure that you are surrounded by objects in cheerful shades of orange and yellow. Decorate the walls with colorful contrasting paintings or posters. Buy or make bright curtains for the windows yourself, change the expressionless bedspreads. Such changes in the interior will certainly delight the whole family. .

Happiness is in our hands

When we do something with our hands, we use areas of the brain that are responsible for our imagination and emotions. In addition, reflex points on the fingertips activate the corresponding parts of our brain. Experts recommend handicrafts to prevent a number of different diseases. By being creative, we switch our attention from constantly scrolling through unpleasant thoughts in our heads and almost immediately we can see the result of our efforts and time spent.

The creative process itself makes us happier. Add to this a feeling of excitement and the desire to please a loved one. The recipe for happiness is in our hands. Now on sale we can find many options for creativity. Ready-made sets with detailed instructions ideal for first starts. Knitting and embroidery activities promote relaxation and reduce emotional stress, but still require some patience from us. And it only takes a few hours to paint a wooden figurine with bright colors.

Sunny mood

Don't neglect walks fresh air on a sunny day. Of course, in times like these it is very difficult for us to even bring ourselves to take out the trash. However, by making a little effort on ourselves, we will provide ourselves with great support. Low levels of vitamin D have been shown to contribute to the development of depression. Therefore, even a short stay in the sun is good support for a depressed body. And in itself, a walk in the fresh air on a fine sunny day cannot but lift our spirits. Turn on your favorite music in your headphones and go for a walk, taking your camera and a light backpack.

Get ready to exercise!

Another advice from psychologists for maintaining good health. A short but daily morning exercise, as if by magic, will create a joyful mood from the very beginning of the day. “The joy of movement” is not just a stable phrase, but a scientifically proven phenomenon. Physical exercise capable of changing our hormonal levels. Thanks to the production of “good mood substances” endorphins, as well as dopamine and serotonin, we experience mild euphoria after exercise. Avoid a sedentary lifestyle and move more to avoid giving depression a chance.

Dream

Adequate sleep that restores strength is another of the most important basic factors that directly affects our condition. But healthy sleep is the first activity that we sacrifice when everything goes wrong. Remember how we spend the evening of an emotionally stressful day? We turn on our favorite movie. Then another one, and until we realize that we don’t want to sleep anymore, and there’s nothing left until it’s time to get up. By disrupting the natural rhythms of sleep and wakefulness, we create the preconditions for poor health. Low level of energy, which means there is no strength or desire to change what doesn’t suit us in our lives.

Finally, very briefly, a few more effective recommendations.

Travel and learn new things

This advice doesn't apply to everyone. However, don't discount him either. It doesn’t matter if you don’t have enough money for your dream vacation. New impressions, people, surroundings - perhaps after depression this is exactly what you need most. Find out about sightseeing tours in your city and go on an excursion to a museum, exhibition or concert symphonic music. New experiences can be our first step towards a new life. Always dreamed of learning film photography? So why not do it now? New knowledge will distract you from the same type of gloomy thoughts.

Chat with friends

Unfortunately, those of us who are faced with post-divorce experiences have it the hardest. The closed state in which we have been for some time should not become the reason why you voluntarily deprive yourself of communication. Communication with loved ones and friends can bring joy back into your life, even if you do not consider yourself an extrovert.

Show you care

By showing our sincere concern for someone, we shift attention from our problems, as a result of which they lose their significance in our eyes, returning to us confidence in our abilities and the desire to live life to the fullest. Selfless participation in volunteer projects makes us feel needed and gives us a sense of belonging to something more important. Choose the option that your heart tells you, and you won’t go wrong. Sincere interest in children's affairs can become the very form of care that our children need. You can offer to shelter a homeless animal or cook dinner together for an elderly, lonely neighbor.

A trifle, but nice

Momentary, unreasonable and possibly useless! Spending that may seem like a waste of money to others can become a source of positive emotions for us. Buy yourself something for which you have always been sorry for money. Just for the soul. For example, the next issue of your favorite magazine. Yes, now everything can be read in an electronic version, but what could be more enjoyable than flipping through the pages? Finally buy “that” book and put it on the shelf. Don't pass by "that cute little figurine" anymore, just make yourself little present. We can condemn the cult of consumption in modern society, but at the same time we deprive ourselves of an extra reason for joy.

There is a theory in psychology that we can train ourselves to experience positive emotions, just like we are used to experiencing irritation over trifles. Try to look for and notice all the good things around you. It is not difficult to learn to enjoy life if you sincerely desire it and make efforts for it.

Do you have proven ways to fill your life with joy during difficult periods? Write about them in the comments to this article.