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Children's onanism: causes, treatment. Children's onanism. Tips for parents What parents can do to wean their child from masturbating

Very often, many parents literally immediately “grab their heads”, catching their child for those or manipulations with the genitals. But is this always a sign of a child's predisposition to childish onanism? Of course not. Speaking smartly, correctly and briefly, then masturbation is a conscious action (any manipulation) with the genitals, aimed at obtaining pleasure. Naturally, having caught a baby in such an occupation, there can be no talk of any childish masturbation. This is a normal manifestation of interest in your body, in its structure. If the actions are purposeful, if the child is really engaged in masturbation and you have no doubts about it, then it is necessary to approach the situation correctly and, which is very important, not provoke psychological trauma. All actions should be aimed at preserving the natural, normal relationship of our treasure to his body, as well as ensuring his sexuality in the future.

Common Causes of Child Onanism and Rules for Parental Behavior

First of all, it is important to correctly determine the reasons why the child began to engage in masturbation. They can be varied and individual, but there are several main ones that are primary sources:

Ways to get rid of bad habits

Many sexologists do not see anything bad and catastrophic in masturbation, but it is a bad habit, and it can provoke obsessive behavior and subsequently get out of control altogether. It is necessary to fight it, but carefully, gradually and as calmly as possible.

You will find more materials on and with it in the sections of the same name in our club of parents by clicking on the appropriate links.

Children's onanism: causes and ways to get rid of was last modified: July 22nd, 2015 by Koskin

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You accidentally witnessed your child masturbating. Are you completely confused, is your baby really going to grow into a sexual maniac or a pervert?

Your first natural impulse is to scold and punish so that this never happens again!But are your conclusions and methods of influence correct?

No panic! Let's figure it out.

What is child onanism?

Childish masturbation is when a child caresses himself (engages in masturbation), this is a fairly common phenomenon, of course, undesirable, but there is nothing particularly tragic or shameful about it. And you don't need to be punished for it.

It has nothing to do with adult onanism (after puberty). In fact, the manipulation of the genitals in a child is no different from combing the sore. After all, the mechanism of sexual satisfaction in children has not yet been formed, and the “relaxation” typical of adults never sets in.

The vast majority of children (almost all boys, and the vast majority of girls). Initially, it is associated with the emergence of interest in one's own body, an absolutely normal stage in development. And the genital area is very rich in nerve endings and, touching it, the child experiences new sensations.

The child can discover other erogenous zones in himself, in addition to the genitals, and begin to stimulate them. This can be thumb sucking (usually a large one) or any other objects, heel scratching, back stroking, again - prolonged sitting on the toilet (potty). But this does not cause a panic reaction among others, although the nature of these phenomena is absolutely the same as with irritation of the genital organs.

At what age is onanism observed in a child?

Onanism can be observed in a child already at the age of 4-6 months, when the child suddenly tenses up, blushes, and then goes limp and falls asleep. As a rule, parents in these cases immediately think about the appearance of seizures in the child. Many note that their children sit on the toilet for a long time (and those who are younger - on the potty), overlaid with toys or picture books.

Why is it asked? Constipation? Yes, it is constipation and some pelvic floor muscle tension is required. And this tension is transmitted to the genitals - there are pleasant sensations that the child wants to repeat again and again. This is fixed in the brain, in the subcortical structures of the brain, and the child is looking for ways to create pleasant sensations again and again.

Is child masturbation a problem?

By themselves, touching any areas of your body is not at all a manifestation of some kind of disease. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

The problem lies in the reaction of adults to this event, as a rule, it is a strong fright, which is always and very quickly transmitted to the child. He begins to think that he is doing something disgusting and nasty, and if the parents or grandparents or caregivers complete the cycle of wrong actions and scold, then the child begins to feel like a very, very bad boy (or girl).

This fear, this low self-esteem can become the root cause of big problems: from the loss of trust in relationships with adults to gross violations in the subsequent sexual life, perceiving it as something unworthy, nasty.

Of course, the inadequate reaction of adults to children's masturbation is directly related to the level of development of society, its tolerance for various human manifestations.

At the everyday level, children's masturbation is seen as something vicious, but meanwhile, almost everyone is engaged in children's masturbation, and sexual disorders (too early sexual development, pathological sexual desire, early, so-called "school" pregnancies and abortions) still suffer from limited part of the population.

Very often a person is disgusted by precisely that which is repressed and unrealized in him.

Another important detail: the idea that a child touching his genitals will certainly cause him arousal is not a rule at all. On the contrary, the child can soothe himself in this way. Many children fall asleep more easily after masturbation.

How to respond to children's masturbation?

The best thing you can do is not react at all. If the child does this in public, he should not be scolded and called names, he should be distracted (but not at all with a slap), because this can cause a negative reaction in those around him. Perhaps you will be reassured by the fact that modern children's doctors for the most part do not consider children's onanism a manifestation of ill health.

Moreover, they even see their positive aspects in it. Indeed, in itself, a rush of blood to the genitals, caused by onanism, is the prevention of genitourinary infections, which are not uncommon at an early age.

When do you need to worry?

When a child has behavioral disorders, frequent crying, dissatisfaction with everything and everything. He begins to sleep poorly, wakes up at night, he has various obsessive movements. Here in these cases, the movements associated with masturbation become on a par with other obsessive movements. Then he can start masturbating in public.

As a rule, parents in most cases live in happy ignorance and do not even suspect that their child is engaged in masturbation, if only because he does it alone, when no one is at home, or when everyone is already asleep. A normal child, with normal socialization, deep down realizes that masturbation should not be advertised.

If he begins to do this anywhere, regardless of whether there are people around or not, then he is not able to control his desires and movements.

In this case, persistent onanism can be a manifestation of nervousness, since it is, although pathological, but still a way to relieve nervous tension, preventing the appearance of neurotic disorders.

What are the causes of child onanism?

1. The characterological features of the child, namely, an active, often indomitable temperament and the corresponding increased need to discharge the accumulated mental stress.

Ceteris paribus, onanism is more often manifested in girls who prefer communication with boys, and in boys with pronounced boyish behavioral traits.

2. Improper upbringing (excessive severity, limitation of activity, numerous prohibitions and frequent physical punishment), in which the child feels unwanted, unloved, lonely. It bothers and torments him so much that he tries to distract himself in order to compensate for his loneliness.

If a child at this moment accidentally discovers that masturbation drowns out his anxiety, makes life more pleasant, then he will consciously engage in it.

3. Problems of emotional contact with parents, which increase with a lack of affection, parental warmth, early departure of the mother to work, transfer of the child to relatives and nannies.

Such children are not frank with their parents. Hiding many of their feelings and experiences, they often live in their own imaginary world, closed from others, in which they compensate for the lack of love and warmth from adults. Masturbation becomes for them a kind of "compensation".

By the way, children's onanism is very common in children's homes. Abandoned, deprived of affection, children literally from the cradle begin to caress themselves.

4. If the child found out that the family was expecting a child of the opposite sex. He is a boy, and dad needs a girl... The feelings and suffering of a child can also find their way out through masturbation.

5. Force-feeding. When parents are at war with the baby, they push it in, forcing them to eat everything. This is most common in children with neuropathy who are underweight and have insufficiently active digestive juices.

If normally a child enjoys food, its taste, then with force-feeding, especially children with neuropathy, this does not happen. Moreover, the very process of eating is accompanied by negative emotions, and the food seems not only tasteless, but also unpleasant, causing nausea and vomiting.

As a result, one of the sensitive zones of the body is switched off from the normal process of developing a sense of the body. And since the mucous membrane of the lips and mouth is reflexively connected with the genital area, the "silence" of one reflex zone makes the other, in this case, the genital zone, "speak" ahead of time.

Her prematurely increased excitability creates tension, which is temporarily eliminated through onanism. The baby begins to touch his genitals. If you continue to force-feed the baby, it will continue to discharge. The habit is fixed for a long time.

6. Non-compliance with hygiene, excessively tight clothing, itching in the genital area with diathesis, worms, diaper rash leads to the appearance of specific sensations and the desire to cause them.

7. Psychological infection, when adults are in the same bed with a child, caress the child excessively and kiss on the lips, rock on the leg or follow hygiene measures too carefully (washing in girls) - all this can lead to the premature appearance of specific genital sensations and the desire for them reproduce.

8. Very often we lose sight of such an obvious circumstance: a child is the product of two parents, and not one of them, no matter how different these people may be. Therefore, children love both parents and react extremely painfully to any conflicts between them.

It is ruthless, even, moreover, criminal to make them allies or prosecutors in family troubles, and even wars. Children are very dependent on the authority of their parents, and such “games” are unlikely to make them your supporter, and they will definitely cause an inferiority complex.

In addition, children tend to exacerbate their own problems in the hope that parents, in the face of children's misfortune, will forget their feuds and, finally, make peace with each other.

Persistent masturbation may well be a means of pressure on parents. The situation in the family is normalizing, and the child himself can abandon the ugly habit.

9. Physical punishment (spanking, spanking) contributes to a rush of blood to the genital area, involuntarily sexually arousing the child.

10. Imitation of the elders - if the child saw in the cinema, accidentally saw parents or older children with increased sexual interest.

11. The clinical prerequisite for onanism is an increased level of excitability, mostly as a manifestation of neuropathy against the background of minimal brain dysfunction (which may occur due to the pathology of pregnancy, less often childbirth).

Another manifestation of this condition is a sleep disorder: difficulty falling asleep, restless, superficial, interrupted sleep. A long stay in bed without sleep provokes the manifestation of onanism, as there is anxiety and a desire to eliminate it.

How to prevent children's onanism?

Remember, masturbation is a way to discharge nervous tension. If your child has it, look for the sources of tension. Do not attach undue importance to onanism.

Your threats to the baby are worse than masturbation itself. It is they, and not masturbation, that can cripple the future of a child. What happened seems to have several causes. Your child is undoubtedly experiencing a lack of attention and warmth from their parents.

Physical contact with the child is of great importance. Children who are caressed by their parents grow up much more calm, balanced, and benevolent.

Give children more affection! This can be done without any deliberateness: a child passes by you on some business - stroke him on the head, kiss him just like that, you don’t need a reason for this!

Putting to bed, sit next to him, tell something, again stroking the child. A caressed child will later become a loving and tender parent.

It is very important to understand that children want to be loved only for what they are. Believe me, a child who receives love and affection from parents “for himself”, and not for a good deed, will be more attentive to his parents, their problems, worries, and needs.

And the last. Make it a rule to walk in the fresh air, even small walks before going to bed often have a magical effect: after all, you can talk to an always busy mom or dad and get tired so that sleep will come by itself. Favorable effects are provided by water procedures that increase the feeling of the body. Enroll your child in the sports section, play more outdoor games with him.

By listening to these simple recommendations, you are likely to forget about this bad habit. But if, in spite of everything, masturbation attempts still take place, you should contact a gynecologist or urologist (depending on the sex of the child) to exclude an inflammatory process in the urogenital area, which can cause itching in the perineum.

Then a visit to a neurologist is advisable, and only then to a psychologist and, especially, to a psychotherapist.

What to do if the child is engaged in masturbation?

Find the cause and try to fix it.
- Do not force feed your baby.
- Dress your baby in loose clothing and underwear.
- Make sure the child falls asleep immediately. If necessary, give soothing decoctions and potions (after consulting a neurologist).
- Increase the physical activity of the child: sports sections, walks in the fresh air.
- Hug, caress, kiss the child more often. Give him more attention.

There are some things that are embarrassing to talk about, but necessary. For example, children's onanism. Many parents are left alone with this supposedly shameful problem of the child and begin to deal with this phenomenon as best they can. They make mistakes along the way, and the masturbation only gets worse. Others study books and articles on the topic and look for helpful advice. What to do?

Masturbation or study of your body?

Here the boy is changing his diaper, and at that moment he pulled his penis. Does this count as masturbation? Children get acquainted not only with the world around them, but also with their own body. But if from early infancy interest in all “decent” parts of the body is encouraged and the baby is asked again and again to show where his eyes and ears are, then any interest in the genitals causes concern for parents. Meanwhile, the baby is interested in them in the same way as, for example, hands and feet. And yet there is a difference. The genitals are permeated with a rich network of nerve endings and have an increased sensitivity, and touching them is usually pleasant. Children can get acquainted with these sensations, both by studying themselves and later taking an example from their peers, or completely by accident. For example, in constipation, due to tension, blood rushes not only to the anus, but also to the genitals. Tight, narrow clothing, thermal underwear can have the same effect. Unnecessarily thorough hygiene procedures can cause pleasant sensations.

Children's onanism in boys is more common due to the structure of their genitals, but this phenomenon also happens in girls.

Masturbation and sexuality

Many parents worry because they associate attention to the genitals with the early development of sexuality. They paint pictures of early sexual intercourse and, if pregnancies, as well as an antisocial lifestyle, sexual deviations. There is no need to panic. Children's onanism is a very common phenomenon. But the cause of early sexual relations or the development of deviations is extremely rare. Usually these phenomena have completely different reasons that relate to the problems of the child's social adaptation. Especially if there was a children's onanism at the age of 3 to 5 years. Pleasant bodily sensations are not yet associated with attraction to the opposite sex, so this habit is almost analogous to thumb sucking, heel scratching, and other stimulation of sensitive areas on the body.

Masturbation and neurosis

First, you need to try to distract the child. If he is easily distracted from this process, you should not sound the alarm. Another thing is if it is difficult to distract the child and masturbation absorbs him greatly, we can talk about neurosis. Also alert should be changes in the behavior and condition of the child. If he began to sleep worse, be more capricious, cry, suffer from fears, become nervous and aggressive, he has problems. You can contact a neurologist. In addition, most often children engage in masturbation secretly, but sometimes it happens that a child does it in public. This suggests that either he cannot control himself, or he deliberately provokes adults to a negative reaction. Both of these indicate that the child is unwell. In the first case, onanism can be a symptom of neurosis and be considered an obsessive action. In the second, the child has a clear problem in relationships with others, primarily parents. It is known that children who lack attention are ready to receive it at any cost. For example, shouting, swearing, and even corporal punishment is better for them than indifference. Therefore, when they are usually simply not noticed, they themselves provoke aggression.

How to react

First of all, react calmly. As you understand, nothing criminal is happening before your eyes. And if we are talking about neurosis, then children's onanism is not a cause, but a consequence. You need to distract the child, but you should not show your horror or anger. In general, this habit should deserve as little attention as possible. Let the child not think that he is doing something special and terrible. Children who are inclined to provoke adults will only be called for criticism from this. Quieter and more fearful children will begin to consider themselves bad, their self-esteem will drop. A person can take away from childhood the attitude towards sex, sexuality as something dirty, shameful and then have problems in relationships, and not accept their genitals as part of themselves. All these problems can be combined in one child, and they are not always clearly visible.

It is important to create a calm environment. There should be no verbal and especially physical aggression. Think about what might have caused the child stress. After all, very often children in this way calm themselves. You can try to keep a diary, and then analyze what events happened on the day when the child was masturbating. Whether the regimen was violated, whether the baby was too overloaded, or, conversely, languished from boredom. This will help to adjust the child's lifestyle: in one case, reduce the load, in the other, on the contrary, increase it.

Masturbation and itching

One of the causes of children's onanism may be irritation in the genital area. The child experiences itching and begins to scratch the perineum. This process gives him pleasure, and he begins to call it again and again. Itching can be caused by uncomfortable clothing, but there can also be some medical conditions. In childhood onanism, children are usually tested for worms and inflammation. In addition, irritation can be caused by food allergies, so some doctors in this case advise limiting especially allergenic foods, such as citrus fruits, chocolate. Sometimes overfeeding a child can also cause such a reaction, but in this case the reason is psychological - when food ceases to be enjoyable, the baby is looking for another source.

Treatment of onanism in children

Sometimes doctors prescribe medication for children's onanism, but most often it is enough to normalize the psychological situation and regimen. In the presence of neurosis or diseases such as worms, inflammatory processes or allergies, the disease itself is subject to treatment. In the meantime, it is important to put the child's diet in order, not to overfeed him.

Try to give him more time, as the habit is often formed from a lack of affection and attention. He should spend more time outdoors and communicate with friends more often.

Issues of health and hygiene are inextricably linked with the emergence of bad habits in children. Such examples include masturbation in children. Onanism - artificial irritation of the genital organs - is especially harmful because of the detrimental effect on the development of the child's body, on the state of his nervous system. Such children are usually pale, with blue circles under the eyes, sometimes with a slightly puffy face. The eyes lose their brilliance, the child hides them, there is no direct, open look. These children are lethargic, get tired quickly, are not interested in games, peers, shun the team, children's society. Prolonged masturbation leads to mental retardation, to dulling of memory, to a sharp decrease in abilities and to poor academic performance in schoolchildren, and in advanced cases, to serious mental illness.

Causes of child masturbation may be the following:

1. Pinworms. Not everyone knows that worms, and especially some of their types, often cause bad habits in children. This applies to small worms, pinworms. They live in the rectum and usually crawl out on the skin of the perineum at night, causing unbearable itching. Insomnia appears, the child is nervous, combing the skin in this area. In girls, itching becomes even more common as the pinworms crawl to the outer genital area.

Scratching in the perineum and genitals provoked by itching leads to onanism. That is why it is absolutely necessary for the preservation of health and in order to prevent the occurrence of this bad habit, to carefully treat helminthic diseases. In addition to the use of antihelminthic treatment, strict adherence to the hygiene of the child is of great importance. Clean hands, neatly trimmed nails, daily change of panties, boiling them and ironing them with a hot iron, washing the child before changing panties are no less important than the treatment prescribed by the doctor.

2. Prolonged loneliness of the child when he is left to himself and neglected. One example is indicative: a child under 3 years old was left alone without supervision in a room where he was locked up. Subsequently, when circumstances changed and the child was placed in better conditions, they noticed that he was hiding, looking for solitude. It turned out that the child was masturbating. It takes a lot of patience and tact to break a bad habit.

3. Masturbation often occurs in children doomed to a long stay in bed(bed rest) in relatively good or just good general condition. This is especially true for children suffering from certain heart diseases, such as rheumatic heart disease, when often without sufficient reason they keep the child in bed for a long time without even trying to occupy him with anything. Some parents pamper their children unnecessarily by keeping them in bed beyond measure when it is not indicated by a doctor: after the flu, sore throat, runny nose.

However, you should also not go to the other extreme and not put the child to bed when it is necessary in the interests of his health. While the child is in bed, observe him as carefully as we are accustomed to doing in relation to children on the street, in the park, in public places.

Tips for parents: what to do, how to deal with children's masturbation, treatment

  1. To prevent the occurrence child masturbation, follow the correct regimen in general, and especially the sleep regimen - spend a strictly established and always at the same time going to bed.
  2. Before going to bed, allow children only quiet games and walks in the fresh air; noisy games and conversations, long reading, spectacles, including television ones, are unacceptable.
  3. Have dinner two hours before bedtime, without spicy foods, strong tea, strong coffee.
  4. Empty your bladder before bed.
  5. Sleep on a hard bed in a well-ventilated room.
  6. Sew a long nightgown.
  7. When falling asleep, make sure that the child's hands are on top of the blanket or under the head.
  8. Make sure that in the morning the child does not stay in bed for a long time, but, upon waking up, quickly gets up. Always wake him up at the same time.
  9. After getting up, morning exercises (even for small ones), then water procedures (rubbing or dousing). Cold water treatments, like all hardening activities, play a huge role in the prevention and treatment of childhood masturbation.
  10. For children suffering from masturbation, cancel daytime sleep, replacing it with a walk in the air. Walking and playing in the air is useful for all children, and especially those suffering from masturbation. Take them out for walks in any weather.
  11. If the parents of a child suffering from onanism accustom him to daily physical exercises, outdoor games, and older children to sports, then this habit can be successfully overcome. A healthy, cheerful, hardened child will not engage in masturbation.
  12. A very important link in prevention and treatment of child masturbation- labor. Teach your child to help around the house, achieve purposeful, properly organized, always carried out at the same time work on preparing homework. Keep such a child busy, give him various tasks (draw, cut, mold something, and so on).
  13. Watch your speech, show restraint in conversations, do not say in the presence of the child what he is not supposed to know.
  14. Be delicate, tactful and modest in your intimate relationships so that the child does not become a witness to what he should not observe and which, if incomprehensible, can leave a traumatic mark on his child's psyche.
  15. Fighting masturbation don't humiliate child, do not yell at him or punish him.
  16. Do not sew special clothes for children attending kindergarten (for example, tying special shorts, etc.). Such constant evidence of his vice leads to humiliating conversations, ridicule, which will further alienate the child from his peers. But the society of children, the team, joint games and activities that are useful to captivate such a child are one of the means of his treatment.

According to the magazine "Family and School", 1962

No panic!

When a child caresses himself (engages in masturbation), first of all, do not panic. Childish onanism is a fairly common phenomenon, of course, undesirable, but there is nothing especially tragic or shameful in it. And you don't need to be punished for it. It has nothing to do with adult onanism (after puberty). In fact, the manipulation of the genitals in a child is no different from combing the sore. After all, the mechanism of sexual satisfaction in children has not yet been formed, and the "discharge" typical of adults never occurs.

The overwhelming majority of children (almost all boys, and the vast majority of girls) engage in masturbation. Initially, it is associated with the emergence of interest in one's own body, an absolutely normal stage in development. And the genital area is very rich in nerve endings and, touching it, the child experiences new sensations. The child can discover other erogenous zones in himself, in addition to the genitals, and begin to stimulate them. This can be thumb sucking (usually a large one) or any other objects, heel scratching, back stroking, again - prolonged sitting on the toilet (potty). But this does not cause a panic reaction among others, although the nature of these phenomena is absolutely the same as with irritation of the genital organs.

Onanism can be observed in a child already at the age of 4-6 months, when the child suddenly tenses up, blushes, and then goes limp and falls asleep. As a rule, parents in these cases immediately think about the appearance of seizures in the child. Many note that their children sit on the toilet for a long time (and those who are younger - on the potty), overlaid with toys or picture books. Why is it asked? Constipation? Yes, it is constipation and some pelvic floor muscle tension is required. And this tension is transmitted to the genitals - there are pleasant sensations that the child wants to repeat again and again. This is fixed in the brain, in the subcortical structures of the brain, and the child is looking for ways to create pleasant sensations again and again.

By themselves, touching any areas of your body is not at all a manifestation of some kind of disease. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

The problem lies in the reaction of adults to this event, as a rule, it is a strong fright, which is always and very quickly transmitted to the child. He begins to think that he is doing something disgusting and nasty, and if the parents or grandparents or caregivers complete the cycle of wrong actions and scold, then the child begins to feel like a very, very bad boy (or girl). This fear, this low self-esteem can become the root cause of big problems: from the loss of trust in relationships with adults to gross violations in the subsequent sexual life, perceiving it as something unworthy, nasty.

Of course, the inadequate reaction of adults to children's masturbation is directly related to the level of development of society, its tolerance for various human manifestations. At the everyday level, children's masturbation is seen as something vicious, but meanwhile, almost everyone is engaged in children's masturbation, and sexual disorders (too early sexual development, pathological sexual desire, early, so-called "school" pregnancies and abortions) still suffer from limited part of the population. Very often a person is disgusted by precisely that which is repressed and unrealized in him.

Another important detail: the idea that a child touching his genitals will certainly cause him arousal is not a rule at all. On the contrary, the child can soothe himself in this way. Many children fall asleep more easily after masturbation.

How to react correctly?

The best thing you can do is not react at all. If the child does this in public, he should not be scolded and called names, he should be distracted (but not at all with a slap), because this can cause a negative reaction in those around him. Perhaps you will be reassured by the fact that modern children's doctors for the most part do not consider children's onanism a manifestation of ill health. Moreover, they even see their positive aspects in it. Indeed, in itself, a rush of blood to the genitals, caused by onanism, is the prevention of genitourinary infections, which are not uncommon at an early age.

When You Should Be Worried

When a child has behavioral disorders, frequent crying, dissatisfaction with everything and everything. He begins to sleep poorly, wakes up at night, he has various obsessive movements. Here in these cases, the movements associated with masturbation become on a par with other obsessive movements. Then he can start masturbating in public.

As a rule, parents in most cases live in happy ignorance and do not even suspect that their child is engaged in masturbation, if only because he does it alone, when no one is at home, or when everyone is already asleep. A normal child, with normal socialization, deep down realizes that masturbation should not be advertised.

If he begins to do this anywhere, regardless of the fact - there are people around or not - it means that he is not able to control his desires and movements. In this case, persistent onanism can be a manifestation of nervousness, since it is, although pathological, but still a way to relieve nervous tension, preventing the appearance of neurotic disorders.

What is the reason?

  1. The characterological features of the child, namely, an active, often indomitable temperament and the corresponding increased need to discharge the accumulated mental stress. Ceteris paribus, onanism is more often manifested in girls who prefer communication with boys, and in boys with pronounced boyish behavioral traits.
  2. Improper upbringing (excessive severity, limitation of activity, numerous prohibitions and frequent physical punishment), in which the child feels unnecessary, unloved, lonely. It bothers and torments him so much that he tries to distract himself in order to compensate for his loneliness. If a child at this moment accidentally discovers that masturbation drowns out his anxiety, makes life more pleasant, then he will consciously engage in it.
  3. Problems of emotional contact with parents, which increase with a lack of affection, parental warmth, early departure of the mother to work, transfer of the child to relatives and nannies. Such children are not frank with their parents. Hiding many of their feelings and experiences, they often live in their own imaginary world, closed from others, in which they compensate for the lack of love and warmth from adults. Onanism becomes a kind of “compensation”. By the way, children's onanism is very common in children's homes. Abandoned, deprived of affection, children literally from the cradle begin to caress themselves.
  4. If the child found out that the family was expecting a child of the opposite sex. He is a boy, and dad needs a girl... The feelings and suffering of a child can also find their way out through masturbation.
  5. Force feeding. When parents are at war with the baby, they push it in, forcing them to eat everything. This is most common in children with neuropathy who are underweight and have insufficiently active digestive juices. If normally a child enjoys food, its taste, then with force-feeding, especially children with neuropathy, this does not happen. Moreover, the very process of eating is accompanied by negative emotions, and the food seems not only tasteless, but also unpleasant, causing nausea and vomiting. As a result, one of the sensitive zones of the body is switched off from the normal process of developing a sense of the body. And since the mucous membrane of the lips and mouth is reflexively connected with the genital area, the "silence" of one reflex zone makes the other, in this case, the genital zone, "speak" ahead of time. Her prematurely increased excitability creates tension, which is temporarily eliminated through onanism. The baby begins to touch his genitals. If you continue to force-feed the baby, it will continue to discharge. The habit is fixed for a long time.
  6. Non-compliance with hygiene, excessively tight clothing, itching in the genital area with diathesis, worms, diaper rash leads to the appearance of specific sensations and the desire to cause them.
  7. Psychological contagion, when adults are in the same bed with a child, caress the child excessively and kiss on the lips, rock on the leg or follow hygiene measures too carefully (washing in girls) - all this can lead to the premature appearance of specific genital sensations and the desire to reproduce them.
  8. Very often we lose sight of such an obvious circumstance: a child is the product of two parents, and not one of them, no matter how different these people may be. Therefore, children love both parents and react extremely painfully to any conflicts between them. It is ruthless, even, moreover, criminal to make them allies or prosecutors in family troubles, and even wars. Children are very dependent on the authority of their parents, and such “games” are unlikely to make them your supporter, and they will definitely cause an inferiority complex. In addition, children tend to exacerbate their own problems in the hope that parents, in the face of children's misfortune, will forget their feuds and, finally, make peace with each other. Persistent masturbation may well be a means of pressure on parents. The situation in the family is normalizing, and the child himself can abandon the ugly habit.
  9. Physical punishment (spanking, spanking) contributes to a rush of blood to the genital area, involuntarily sexually arousing the child.
  10. Imitation of the elders - if the child saw in the cinema, accidentally saw parents or older children with increased sexual interest.
  11. The clinical prerequisite for onanism is an increased level of excitability, mostly as a manifestation of neuropathy against a background of minimal brain dysfunction (which may occur due to the pathology of pregnancy, less often childbirth). Another manifestation of this condition is a sleep disorder: difficulty falling asleep, restless, superficial, interrupted sleep. A long stay in bed without sleep provokes the manifestation of onanism, as there is anxiety and a desire to eliminate it.

Remember, masturbation is a way to discharge nervous tension. If your child has it, look for the sources of tension. Do not attach undue importance to onanism. Your threats to the baby are worse than masturbation itself. It is they, and not masturbation, that can cripple the future of a child. What happened seems to have several causes. Your child is undoubtedly experiencing a lack of attention and warmth from their parents. Physical contact with the child is of great importance. Children who are caressed by their parents grow up much more calm, balanced, and benevolent. Give children more affection! This can be done without any deliberateness: a child passes by you on some business - stroke him on the head, kiss him just like that, you don’t need a reason for this! Putting to bed, sit next to him, tell something, again stroking the child. A caressed child will later become a loving and tender parent.

It is very important to understand that children want to be loved only for what they are. Believe me, a child who receives love and affection from parents “for himself”, and not for a good deed, will be more attentive to his parents, their problems, worries, and needs. And the last. Make it a rule to walk in the fresh air, even small walks before going to bed often have a magical effect: after all, you can talk to an always busy mom or dad and get tired so that sleep will come by itself. Favorable effects are provided by water procedures that increase the feeling of the body. Enroll your child in the sports section, play more outdoor games with him.

By listening to these simple recommendations, you are likely to forget about this bad habit. But if, in spite of everything, masturbation attempts still take place, you should contact a gynecologist or urologist (depending on the sex of the child) to exclude an inflammatory process in the urogenital area, which can cause itching in the perineum. Then a visit to a neurologist is advisable, and only then to a psychologist and, especially, to a psychotherapist.

What to do if the child is masturbating

  1. Find the cause and try to fix it.
  2. Don't force feed your baby.
  3. Dress your baby in loose clothing and underwear.
  4. Make sure your child falls asleep right away. If necessary, give soothing decoctions and potions (after consulting a neurologist).
  5. Increase the physical activity of the child: sports sections, walks in the fresh air.
  6. Hug, caress, kiss the child more often. Give him more attention.
  7. Do not scold, do not intimidate, do not reproach him, especially in front of outsiders.

Galina Aleksandrova



 


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